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Peter Parker couldn’t believe what he had just heard. “Wait, wait, wait. You’re saying Captain America wants to do… team-building exercises?”
Tony Stark groaned, rubbing his temples like he’d already had this conversation a hundred times. “Believe me, kid, it’s not my idea. Cap’s been going on about ‘unit cohesion’ and ‘trust exercises’ since the last mission.”
Peter blinked, still trying to wrap his head around it. “But… we’re the Avengers. We’ve literally saved the world. Isn’t that, like, the ultimate team-building exercise?”
“Tell that to Steve,” Tony grumbled. “The guy’s convinced we need more ‘bonding time.’” He put air quotes around the words and rolled his eyes. “And guess who got roped into organizing it?”
Peter grinned. “You?”
“Bingo.” Tony sighed dramatically. “But don’t think for a second I’m actually interested in this. I shelled out a ton of cash for this ridiculous retreat just to keep the star-spangled boy scout off my back. I’d rather be anywhere else.”
Peter tried not to laugh. The idea of Tony Stark—a man who considered five-star hotels “roughing it”—being dragged into a team-building retreat was almost too much to handle. Tony hated anything that even remotely resembled the outdoors, and Peter knew it.
“So, uh… what exactly are we doing?” Peter asked, half-hoping Tony would say something normal, like watching movies or maybe a BBQ.
“Oh, it’s worse than you think,” Tony replied, smirking. “Steve’s got it all planned. We’re doing trust falls, obstacle courses, ‘bonding games,’ and—get this—a scavenger hunt.”
Peter’s eyes widened. “A scavenger hunt? Aren’t we a little… old for that?”
“You’d think,” Tony deadpanned. “But Steve’s convinced this is ‘necessary for morale.’ And since he’s Cap, everyone else is pretending it’s a good idea.”
Peter’s heart skipped a beat. “Everyone? Who else is coming?”
Tony grinned, clearly enjoying Peter’s growing discomfort. “Oh, just the usual suspects. Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Clint… and Bucky and Sam, of course.”
Peter’s brain stalled. Bucky and Sam? He’d only just started getting used to being around the rest of the Avengers, and now he’d be stuck doing trust falls with a super soldier who could probably crush his spine without breaking a sweat and Sam, who treated him like a little kid whenever they interacted.
This was going to be a disaster.
The day of the retreat arrived, and Peter found himself standing outside a massive, rustic-looking cabin in the middle of the woods. It was actually kind of nice—big wooden beams, a huge porch, and a fire pit—but it didn’t feel right. It felt like a setup, like they were all being herded into some weird superhero summer camp.
Steve stood in front of them all, beaming like he was about to give a motivational speech. And Peter had a sneaking suspicion that he was.
“Alright, everyone, thanks for coming,” Steve said, his voice full of that unrelenting positivity that somehow made Peter feel like he was always underachieving. “We’ve been through a lot lately, and I thought it’d be a good idea to spend some time together—away from missions and danger. Just us. As a team.”
Peter glanced around, trying to gauge everyone else’s reactions. Thor was grinning ear to ear, clearly excited. Clint looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. Natasha was leaning against a post, arms crossed, her expression unreadable. Sam and Bucky were standing off to the side, already bickering about something, and Bruce seemed content to just let it all unfold. Tony, meanwhile, was standing next to Peter with an expression that said, I’d rather be getting a root canal.
Peter leaned over to Tony and whispered, “Is this going to be as bad as I think it’s going to be?”
Tony didn’t even hesitate. “Worse, kid. Way worse.”
Steve continued, oblivious to the rising sense of dread among the group. “I’ve got a whole schedule planned out. We’re going to start with some trust exercises, then move on to the obstacle course, and after lunch, we’ll have some fun with the scavenger hunt.”
“Fun,” Peter muttered under his breath. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”
Tony smirked. “Try not to break anything on the obstacle course. I’d rather not have to carry you back to New York in pieces.”
Before Peter could respond, Steve clapped his hands together. “Let’s start with the trust falls.”
Peter’s stomach sank. He had been dreading this part. Trust falls were fine in theory, but in practice? He was Spider-Man. His reflexes were too quick. What if he fell too soon? Or worse—what if he didn’t fall and just stood there like an idiot?
As Steve explained the rules (which, to be honest, were pretty self-explanatory), Peter found himself paired up with none other than Bucky Barnes. The Winter Soldier. The guy who could probably snap a tree in half with his metal arm.
Peter swallowed nervously. “Uh, so… I’m just gonna, like, fall, and you’re gonna catch me, right?”
Bucky stared at him for a long moment, his expression unreadable. “That’s usually how it works.”
Peter forced a laugh. “Right. Of course.”
Tony, standing off to the side, couldn’t resist chiming in. “Don’t worry, kid. Worst-case scenario, you hit the ground, and your spidey-powers heal you in, what, a few hours?”
Peter shot him a look. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mr. Stark.”
Bucky sighed, clearly not enjoying the whole “team-building” thing either. “Just fall, kid. I’ve got this.”
Peter took a deep breath and let himself fall backward. The split second of free-fall was terrifying, and his spidey-sense screamed at him to stop, but before he could panic, Bucky caught him with ease, barely flinching.
“You’re heavier than you look,” Bucky muttered, setting Peter back on his feet.
Peter blinked, unsure if that was a joke or an insult. “Uh… thanks?”
Tony chuckled. “Smooth, Pete. Real smooth.”
Next, it was Bucky’s turn to fall, and Peter found himself sweating profusely. He was supposed to catch a super soldier. This was not going to end well.
Bucky crossed his arms and glared at Peter. “Don’t drop me.”
Peter’s eyes widened. “I won’t!”
“Because if you do,” Bucky added, “I’ll break your arm.”
Peter couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not, but it didn’t matter. He was officially terrified.
Bucky fell, and Peter barely had time to react before he felt like he was trying to catch a falling brick wall. He caught Bucky, but the momentum sent both of them crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Peter scrambled to his feet, trying to untangle himself from Bucky’s death glare.
Bucky stood up, brushing dirt off his jacket. “You really need to work on your upper body strength, Parker.”
Peter laughed nervously. “Yeah, I’ll… I’ll get right on that.”
Sam, who had been watching the whole thing with barely concealed amusement, strolled over and clapped Peter on the back. “You’re lucky he didn’t drop you, Spider-Boy.”
Peter groaned. “It’s Spider-Man.”
Tony, from a distance, called out, “Could’ve fooled me, Spider-Kid.”
Peter rolled his eyes. “Is this how it’s going to be all weekend?”
“Yep,” Tony replied, grinning.
Next came the obstacle course, which Peter had been dreading even more. Steve led them into the woods, where Tony’s custom-built obstacle course loomed ahead of them like something out of a military boot camp. Ropes to climb, walls to scale, mud pits to cross—it was an absolute nightmare.
“Who designed this?” Peter asked, wide-eyed.
“Tony,” Steve replied, looking slightly guilty.
Peter turned to Tony, incredulous. “You? I thought you hated this whole retreat thing!”
Tony shrugged. “I do. But if I have to suffer, you’re all going down with me.”
Natasha cracked a smile. “This is going to be interesting.”
They split into teams again, and Peter found himself with Sam and Bucky—because of course he did. Tony ended up with Clint and Natasha, while Steve paired up with Bruce and Thor. As soon as the whistle blew (of course Steve had brought a whistle), chaos erupted.
Peter started off strong, using his webs to swing across a mud pit. He landed on the other side, feeling pretty proud of himself, until Bucky and Sam came barreling after him. Sam managed to fly over the pit with his wings, but Bucky? Bucky ran straight through it, splattering mud everywhere—including all over Peter.
“Dude!” Peter yelped, trying to wipe the mud off his suit. “I just got this cleaned!”
“Should’ve swung higher,” Bucky shot back, clearly unbothered.
Peter groaned and kept moving, scaling one of the walls with ease, but Sam and Bucky were right behind him, bickering the whole way.
“Would you move faster?” Bucky snapped at Sam, who was taking his time getting up the wall.
“I’m going as fast as I can!” Sam retorted, glaring over his shoulder. “Not all of us have super-soldier serum, you know.”
Peter, now perched on top of the wall, watched them with amusement. “You guys sound like an old married couple.”
Both Sam and Bucky shot him death glares. “Shut up, Parker,” they said in unison.
Peter held up his hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay, geez. Just trying to lighten the mood.”
The course continued in a blur of mud, climbing, and more bickering. At one point, Peter got stuck in a net, his webs tangled in the ropes. As he struggled to free himself, Sam and Bucky came up behind him, clearly enjoying his predicament.
“Need some help, Spider-Man?” Sam teased.
“No, I’ve got it,” Peter grumbled, trying to untangle his webs. “Just… give me a minute.”
Bucky crossed his arms, smirking. “You know, for someone who swings through New York every day, you’re really bad at this.”
Peter shot him a glare. “You know, for someone with a metal arm, you’re really bad at… being nice.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
Peter sighed. “I’m under a lot of pressure right now, okay?”
Tony’s voice echoed from somewhere behind them. “Hurry up, Parker! We don’t have all day!”
“I’m trying!” Peter called back, still tangled in the net. “This thing is harder than it looks!”
“Not for everyone,” Natasha quipped as she swung past him with ease, landing gracefully on the other side of the obstacle.
Peter groaned. This was turning into the worst retreat ever.
It didn’t help that now they were headed straight into the scavenger hunt, and Steve seemed weirdly excited about it. Peter shuffled his feet, trying to psych himself up. But let’s be real—how exactly was he supposed to be enthusiastic about hunting for random objects in the woods?
Especially now that he was stuck with Sam and Bucky. Again.
Sam and Bucky had already started bickering before the hunt even began. Something about who had the better “field instincts,” which really just seemed like an excuse to argue for the sake of arguing. Peter tried to tune it out as Steve explained the rules of the scavenger hunt, holding up a list of bizarre, cryptic clues. There were no phones, no web-swinging, no flying allowed. It was all about teamwork.
“You’ve got this,” Steve said with a grin, as if they were about to embark on some great adventure. “Remember, it’s all about communication.”
Peter glanced at Bucky and Sam, both of whom were glaring at each other. Great, he thought. Communication is totally our strong suit.
The hunt began, and Peter tried to keep up as Sam and Bucky immediately started walking in opposite directions.
"Guys! Wait! We’re supposed to be a team!” Peter called after them, running to catch up with Bucky.
“I am being a team,” Bucky grumbled, glaring at Sam. “I’m just being the better half of the team.”
Peter quickly stepped between them, holding his hands up. “Guys, come on. We need to stick together.”
Bucky rolled his eyes. “Alright, kid. Lead the way.”
Peter opened the scavenger hunt clue sheet, squinting at the first line. “Uh, it says ‘Where the trees are tallest, the next clue will fall.’ What does that even mean?”
Bucky crossed his arms. “Tallest trees? We’re in a forest. All the trees are tall.”
Sam huffed. “Nice deduction, Sherlock.”
Peter frowned, looking around at the endless stretch of woods. The trees seemed to blur together, stretching on into oblivion. Where the trees are tallest… He wasn’t sure where to start, and it didn’t help that Bucky and Sam were back to ignoring each other, stomping off in different directions.
Peter hurried after them, still gripping the clue sheet. “Guys, wait! We’re supposed to be looking for clues together!”
But neither of them was listening. Bucky was muttering something about how scavenger hunts were “for kids,” and Sam was trying to prove he could navigate the woods better than a “super-soldier with a bad attitude.”
Peter sighed, his heart already racing. He glanced around, trying to keep track of where they were, but the forest all looked the same. Hadn’t they passed that tree already? His stomach twisted with anxiety. Were they lost?
“Uh, Bucky?” Peter called out. “Sam? Maybe we should… stick together?”
Bucky’s gruff voice echoed back through the trees. “I’m right here, kid. Stop panicking.”
Peter frowned, his nerves fraying. “I’m not panicking!”
“Yeah, you are,” Sam’s voice chimed in from somewhere behind a cluster of trees. “You’re doing that thing where you sound like you’re about to freak out.”
“I am not freaking out!” Peter protested, though his voice cracked, betraying him.
Bucky appeared from behind a tree, his expression flat. “You’re like a lost puppy, Parker.”
Peter was starting to get annoyed. “Well, maybe if you guys actually listened to me, we wouldn’t be lost!”
“We’re not lost,” Bucky said in the most unconvincing tone ever.
Sam stepped forward, crossing his arms. “Oh yeah? Then where’s the next clue, Mr. Super Soldier?”
Bucky glared at him. “It’s out here somewhere. I just need a minute.”
Peter groaned, feeling the familiar panic rising. “Guys, I don’t think we’re supposed to be this far away from the cabin. What if we can’t find our way back? What if we’re stuck out here all night?”
Sam raised an eyebrow. “You’ve got web-slinging powers and you’re worried about that?”
“Yes! I don’t have a GPS in my brain!” Peter snapped, looking around wildly. “What if we starve? Or get attacked by a bear? Or worse—what if Tony finds out and we get in trouble?”
Bucky shot Peter an exasperated look. “Kid, shut up. You’re being dramatic.”
“I am not—okay, maybe a little,” Peter admitted, biting his lip. “But we’re definitely lost, right? We should probably go back before—”
“Before what?” Sam asked, smirking. “Before Tony comes and saves us?”
Peter flailed his arms, his anxiety reaching new heights. “Yes! That! Exactly that!”
Bucky rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath. “I swear, if you don’t stop panicking…”
Peter’s breathing quickened as he scanned the woods again. Every direction looked the same—just tall, looming trees and thick brush. No sign of the cabin, no sign of the rest of the Avengers. They’d been wandering for what felt like hours, and Peter was convinced they were going to be stuck in the woods forever.
He whirled around, eyes wide with panic. “I’m too young to die in a forest, okay? I’m Spider-Man! I shouldn’t be getting lost on a scavenger hunt!”
Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose. “Kid, you’re not going to die in the forest.”
Sam shook his head, laughing quietly. “Tony’s going to love this.”
Just as Peter was about to launch into another rambling tirade about how they were doomed, the familiar sound of thrusters cut through the air. A few seconds later, Tony appeared, hovering above them in his Iron Man suit.
Peter gasped, his heart leaping with relief. “Mr. Stark! You found us!”
Tony landed gracefully in front of them, his expression a mix of amusement and annoyance. “You’ve been gone for forty-five minutes and you managed to get lost?”
Peter, without thinking, sprinted toward Tony and threw himself at him dramatically. “I thought we’d be out here forever!”
Tony staggered slightly but caught Peter, holding him at arm’s length like he was an overexcited puppy. “Whoa, kid, calm down. It’s a scavenger hunt, not ‘Survivor.’”
Peter clung to him anyway, ignoring Bucky and Sam snickering behind him. “I was so sure we were going to be stuck out here. I had no food, no water, no hope—”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tony interrupted, gently prying Peter off him. “You’re fine. I thought you had better instincts than this, kid. What happened to the whole ‘Spidey-sense’ thing?”
Peter flushed. “It doesn’t exactly help with directions, Mr. Stark.”
Tony gave him a light pat on the back. “Well, good news—I’m here to rescue you.”
Peter let out a dramatic sigh of relief. “Thank you! You have no idea how close we were to—”
“We weren’t lost,” Bucky interrupted, rolling his eyes.
Sam smirked. “Speak for yourself, man. We were definitely lost.”
Peter whirled around, glaring at them both. “You said we weren’t lost!”
“I didn’t say we weren’t kind of lost,” Bucky muttered.
Sam shook his head. “You really think we were going to be stuck out here all night? I’m not going to let Spider-Boy lead me into the wilderness.”
Peter opened his mouth to protest but quickly snapped it shut. He turned back to Tony, his voice suddenly sheepish. “Uh, so… we’re heading back now?”
Tony smirked. “Yep. Let’s go, before the bears come out.”
Peter paled. “Wait, bears?”
Tony gave him a playful shove. “Relax, kid. No bears.”
When they got back to the cabin, it was nearing dinner time. The sky was turning a soft orange as the sun began to set, casting a warm glow over the clearing. Peter felt a weird mix of exhaustion and relief as they trudged up the steps of the cabin, but his heart was still racing from the earlier drama.
As they stepped inside, the smell of food hit them instantly. Natasha was in the kitchen, preparing a meal that looked far too good for a group of superheroes on a “team-building retreat.”
“Smells good,” Peter mumbled as he plopped down at the long wooden table.
“Don’t get too excited,” Natasha called from the kitchen. “I’m not cooking for all of you. Just making something for myself.”
Thor, already seated with a huge grin on his face, boomed, “Fear not! I have brought the finest Asgardian mead to accompany this feast!”
“Pretty sure that’s not what we’re eating,” Clint muttered, already picking at a plate of food.
Tony sat down next to Peter, stretching his legs out. “Well, that was fun.”
“Fun?” Peter groaned, slumping in his seat. “That was torture.”
“You’ll survive,” Tony replied with a smirk. “Besides, it builds character.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?” Peter mumbled, poking at his food. “I have enough character already.”
Bucky and Sam sauntered in, still bickering as they sat down across from Peter.
“I’m just saying, we would’ve found the next clue if you hadn’t been panicking,” Bucky said, grabbing a plate of food.
Sam chuckled. “Yeah, Spider-Man. Didn’t you get that from your Spidey-sense?”
Peter scowled. “It’s not built for scavenger hunts, okay? It’s for life-or-death situations.”
“Yeah, well, you made it seem like this was life or death,” Sam teased, shaking his head. “I think Tony’s gonna have to take your superhero badge for that one.”
Peter groaned, burying his face in his hands. “This was the worst day ever.”
Thor, oblivious to the chaos, raised his mug of mead. “A toast! To a glorious day of challenges and fellowship!”
Peter couldn’t help but laugh at Thor’s enthusiasm. As ridiculous as the day had been, there was something about the way everyone was settling into dinner, joking around, that made him feel like he really was part of the team. Even if they were all a bunch of dysfunctional, bickering superheroes.
“Here, kid.” Tony slid a plate of food in front of Peter. “Eat up. You’ll need your strength for tomorrow.”
Peter froze, staring at him in horror. “Tomorrow?”
Tony grinned. “Oh yeah. There’s still the scavenger hunt finale. We’ve got another obstacle course lined up, too. Didn’t Steve tell you?”
Peter’s eyes widened. “No! I thought we were done!”
Bucky snorted. “You’re never done, Parker.”
Sam laughed, shaking his head. “Welcome to the team, Spider-Man.”
Peter groaned dramatically, sinking down in his seat. “I’m never going to survive this retreat.”
Tony chuckled, giving Peter a light punch on the arm. “Relax, kid. You’ll be fine. Worst case scenario? You get lost again, and I’ll come rescue you. It’s kind of my thing.”
Peter couldn’t help but smile. As exhausting as the day had been, as much as he felt like he’d been lost (both literally and figuratively), there was something reassuring about knowing that Tony—and the rest of the team—had his back.
“Alright.” Peter said, picking up his fork.
And as the Avengers sat together, eating and laughing around the table, Peter felt—just for a moment—that maybe, just maybe, he really was where he belonged. Even if it did involve scavenger hunts and trust falls.