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Immortal Gay Beings

Summary:

The bang in bangtan represents gay tendencies.
Here to fight the Y/N curse. Everyone is gay because I want them to be.

Notes:

I’m new and aware I’m garbage. Don’t make the added effort of letting me know.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Vampires are always portrayed as dreary, with cobwebs and dust laden coffins in always near proximity and of course blood.
Years of being alive does enforce a desensitisation on anyone and especially an immortal.

The fact of the matter is somewhat true.
Some…what.

Min Yoongi occupies a castle in the outskirts of a little town just beyond a thin border of spruce trees.
Contrary to most vampires, he is very mindful of the upkeep of his lair. The stone is shiny and spotless, the gardens filled with flowers that are regularly tended to and he has zero cobwebs in proximity. Except that one in his library where a little tarantula resides, he can’t fault anyone in their pursuit of knowledge, naturally. Even a spider.

The towns people adore him, to them he’s a kind nobleman that has endowed resources and extended a hand in all emergencies.
A few years back farmer Jung broke down in his halls because a locust storm had destroyed all the crop and there wasn’t enough grain in store to pass the winter. Min Yoongi had asked his servants to bring the man a warm drink and patted his back, offering reassurances.
The next day farmers of the town woke up to several carriages riding in town, filled with enough grain to last the damn winter. And Min Yoongi had been a blessing to the town as he had been in several other potentially disastrous situations.

So what if he hadn’t aged a day since whenever Farmer Jung’s great grandfather’s portrait with Yoongi had been painted back when he was alive and in youth. Everyone has their flaws.

 

One more thing Yoongi loves in playing the piano, he does it for hours on end. It’s the single thing he wouldn’t tire of. And it was when he was playing a tune when a tap on his shoulder made him stop.
Farmer Jung’s supposedly dead great grandfather too hadn’t aged a single day since that portrait . Not that he will ever know.
“You have a guest, Yoongi.”
“Anything urgent?”
“No.”
“Then deal with it yourself.”
Hoseok rolled his eyes seeing his older friend go back to playing with the keys. Despite being an icon and most eligible bachelor according to the town, Yoongi was not very thrilled by social duties.
“Yoongi. They’re not human.”
Hoseok flinched at the uncomfortable sound that came when Yoongi halted his last note.
“You let creatures in my home?”
“A witch and an elf, you mean. I did. Poor boys look thin and starved. And they don’t look capable of evil.”
Yoongi stood up with eyes narrowed levelled at his friend, “We’ll see.”
Hoseok followed Yoongi outside and down the hall to the dining room where their guests were currently… inhaling food?
Eyes.
Is the first thing Yoongi sees, like a deer caught in headlights. Scratch that, like a fucking rabbit. And it didn’t seem possible but his eyes go even bigger when he sees Yoongi. It’s comical to see this kid with a piece of chicken halfway to his mouth and eyes growing wider by the second.

The second guest is, however, completely different. His skin radiates some abominable glow that Yoongi doesn’t feel a fan of. It’s not bias, just what else do you expect from a nocturnal creature?
He has not made notice of Yoongi yet and doesn’t seem like he wants to, he’s practically breathing down the food at an alarming rate that makes Yoongi frown. His longer-than-normal ears make it clear he’s the elf Hoseok spoke of.

Elves are considered cousins to vampires. However, they come without the gory characteristics of the night creature. They live long and can be immortal and mortal at will. They have the preserved need for consumption and defecation and sleep unlike a vampire. And unlike vampires, they have magical powers.

The elf has still not made notice of Yoongi which deepens his frown and finally has the bunny eyed witch kid shaking his friend’s arm.
“Seokjin-hyung!”
“No Jungkook, you can’t eat my food!”

Jungkook cuts a sharp glance to Seokjin and says firmly, “Jin-hyung. Our host looks very confused by you practically deep throating roasted chicken.”

The elf named Jin then turns to Yoongi whose left eye seems to be twitching a little and the other vampire behind him currently is pursing his lips to prevent laughing.

Seokjin smacks Jungkook on the shoulder. Hard. Yoongi and Hoseok both flinch. Seokjin then stands and turns to the hosts.
“Yah! Jungkook, why didn’t you tell me our wonderful and esteemed host was here!”
He walks to Yoongi whose pace at walking backwards wasn’t fast enough to thwart Seokjin from reaching him and shaking his hands despite the grease and spice on his palm.
“Greetings! I’m Kim Seokjin or Jin and I’m an elf. I’m currently travelling with this lousy excuse of a witch,-“
“HEY!”
“-Jeon Jungkook. We got a little lost on our way to this place given your very inconvenient incorrect mapping of the town to prevent any outside influences but no biggie! All’s well that ends well! Lovely place and the food is incredible too.”
He finally pulls away and Yoongi is thoroughly disgusted with the sensation left in his hand, he swiftly pulls out a napkin and wipes his hand.

Hoseok lets out a giggle that Yoongi can only describe as repulsive as he walks up to Jin who looks awfully satisfied over making someone laugh.
“God, Yoongi! Just listen to him talk….
Seokjin, I hope you stay long with us.”
Hoseok is has his hand in Jin’s bicep, rubbing in a subtle but with horrifyingly clear indication and oh no, Oh. Fuck. No.
Jungkook seems to come to the same understanding as Yoongi hears the clatter of a fork on the plate and Jin looks slightly abashed and yet somehow grateful and satisfied when he responds to Hoseok. “Oh, really. That would be nice, I wouldn’t want to impose-“
“Oh no, you simply must.”
Yoongi’s eyes are narrowed, Jungkook looks like he’s about to barf out his lunch, Hoseok is making sexy eyes at Jin who was speaking very confidently minutes ago and doesn’t seem to be aware that he’s rubbing off chicken grease at the nape of his neck.
“Hoseok, I wouldn’t want to impede our traveller’s journey with your need to wet your dick.”

It’s silent for a moment and Seokjin’s ears go red…red… and redder.
“I’m… huh… what?”
“Not speaking much now, are you, elf?”
“Yoongi hyung, it’s NOT like that.”
“Your drool is on his damn shoulders, Hoseok. Shut up.”

They’re all bickering. Hoseok and Yoongi going back and forth while Seokjin contributes with non-sensical and broken pieces of whatever his mind wishes to convey.

What is going on … Jungkook feels a little dizzy with all the sudden input.

“Seokjin-ssi, don’t listen to hyung. His body count over the years has been enough to land his leech sucker brain in the gutter.”
“You’re a damn leech sucker too. And he’s obviously not paying attention to shit.”
“Not as perverted as you. And I know you’ve been dead long but your parents definitely didn’t raise you up to be so foul mouthed. They were more conservative back then.”
“Shut the fuck up Hoseok. You’ve sucked dick more than you’ve sucked blood.”
“YOONGI!”

“Uhh.. well… uhh..”

Yoongi snaps his face to Seokjin just in time to see the man fall. Hoseok is fast enough to make sure the elf lands in his arms and he looks smug about it for a second before he realises what argument he’s part of.
Hoseok is fanning Seokjin’s face after carefully lying him down on the floor and Jungkook has rushed to the elf, looking extremely worried, trying to shake the elf awake.
Hoseok has a glint in his eye and a shadow of a smile when he looks up to Yoongi.
“Ohhhhh…. Noooo…. How unfortunate that he’s fainted. Don’t think he can travel now.”
“We need to get Jin-hyung to a bed, please, Yoongi-ssi.”
Jungkook has very sad looking, very big eyes.
Yoongi sees the gears working in Hoseok’s head, he looks like an animal that scored kill.
“You’re so right, my little witchy fellow. Help me lift him and we’ll set up a nice little room for him, next to mine.”
Hoseok maintains violent eye contact with Yoongi as he says this, almost daring his oldest friend to refuse but Yoongi has an elf who has sustained visible damage and a young teenage witch with stupidly big puppy dog eyes. And Yoongi… is not that strong.
“Fucking fine, they can stay as long as they want.”
Hoseok is well halfway down the hall and towards the room with Seokjin’s limp body but Yoongi and Jungkook can hear his whoop regardless.

“So, uh, what about my roommate situation?”
“Get out of my sight before you become my lunch.”
Jungkook runs.

Notes:

My twitter is gothtoothfairy.