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This is Not my Idea of Fun

Summary:

Feng Xiao and Cui Buqu have been engaged since birth. In order for the children to get to know each other and for Cui Buqu's health, the boy spends every winter in the city at Fajing sect.

“Why do I have to marry someone so useless?” Feng Xiao pouts, the precocious nine year old kicking at the pile of blankets stacked next to the bed Cui Buqu spent most of his winters in.

Notes:

Hello! I really hope you have fun with this fic, thank you so much for the prompt!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Their wedding has been arranged since they were born. Cui Buqu found Feng Xiao so disagreeable that he'd nearly been able to get out of the agreement by dying in womb, at least that was what his mother told him. But despite his body's best efforts he survived, albeit with a poor constitution. That was what led to the winters.

Cui Buqu hates winter.

Every year, since Cui Buqu’s health would become rather frail he’d spend the winter months at the Faijing Sect manor in the city. Where his fiance lived and trained. His mother insisted that not only would it allow them to get along better but at least the other sect could treat him easier, as that was part of the marriage agreement. Liuli Palace would receive funds and medical care for the sect leader's son in exchange for new opportunities for Fajing to get footholds back into the martial arts world and stand against Hehuan and Huanyue sects.

Getting along with Feng Xiao was a joke, this agreement was only happening because they couldn’t have children together. No one wanted a union that would lead to the blending of daoist and demonic cores. Not that Cui Buqu’s condition allowed him to learn martial arts. That was the start of their problems.

“Why do I have to marry someone so useless?” Feng Xiao pouts, the precocious nine year old kicking at the pile of blankets stacked next to the bed Cui Buqu spent most of his winters in. Guang Lingsan sighs as he switches out the compress on the sickly boy’s forehead.

“Xiao-er, do you know the test that you and Ququ had to take a few months ago?”

“Yes shizun.” The boy responds dutifully. He stomps over to where Guang Lingsan is mixing up a fever reducer and adding it to some tea for Cui Buqu to drink. He flops onto the bed and when the younger boy groans in pain, Feng Xiao guiltily adjusts his blankets.

“Cui Buqu scored higher than you did.” Actually the boy had set a new score record for the test. The kid was a certified genius and if his body had allowed for it, Cui Buqu could have been a grandmaster for a new age of martial arts. “So maybe, you should focus on becoming strong enough to keep your future husband alive so you can reap the benefits of having someone that smart in your corner.”

“Do I still have to marry him if I am smarter than him?” There was exactly zero chance of that happening. Liuli ran the lists in the martial arts world for a reason.

“You are welcome to try.” He says instead because he needs to give Cui Buqu his medicine and the boy always refuses if Feng Xiao is in the room.

Three years later Cui Buqu shows up with two younger friends, turns out the Cui family heir had tried multiple times to escape coming to Fajing sect this year and ended up twisting an ankle trying to jump from the carriage and run into the woods. Qiao Xian and Zhangsun Bodhi are both competent and clearly obsessed with Cui Buqu’s safety. Guang Lingsan can’t tell if Qiao Xian is male or female but they are a good fighter and Feng Xiao’s little self proclaimed assistant Pei Jingzhe is obviously smitten with them.

Cui Buqu seems to be doing much better this year, having friends to keep him from pushing himself too hard. Unfortunately it also means that he and Feng Xiao hardly speak for most of this year's visit. Eventually it gets to a point where Guang Lingsan shoves all five children outside to play or train or do something, the sect leader needs a drink.

Cui Buqu ends up with a dislocated shoulder and broken leg within a handful of hours. Feng Xiao and Pei Jingzhe had been testing their qing gong and were racing through the bamboo groves. Cui Buqu had apparently made a comment about weaknesses in their techniques and Feng Xiao had taken it poorly. He’d grabbed Cui Buqu and tried to lift him up to where they’d been in order to make the other boy ‘demonstrate’ what they were doing wrong. Cui Buqu of course could not balance on the bamboo and slipped almost immediately. He’d dislocated his shoulder trying to grab at the stalks before falling and landing on his leg, snapping one of the bones. Zhangsun Bodhi had to carry him back.

It was only after he set the bone and fixed Cui Buqu’s shoulder that he thought to ask after his disciple at all. He found the boy in his room cradling his arm to his chest, biting his lip to hide his sniffles as he tried to circulate his qi through the pain. An endeavor that was only made harder due to the fact that Feng Xiao had a concussion too. Pei Jingzhe’s leg was broken as well as dual black eyes. The kids all went home early that winter.

A few years later Cui Buqu seemed to really be growing into himself. He spent most of that winter in the Fajing Sect library, devouring every book he could get his hands on. He’d clearly begun his journey to learning all of Liuli Palace’s deciphering skills and he was enjoying showcasing those abilities to his fiance at every opportunity. Feng Xiao had been a tea pot ready to boil over for weeks.

Guang Lingsan took the teen with him to a few martial arts events in the city, allowing him to sharpen his abilities as well as take notes on any up and coming talents. Yet, his favorite target remained Feng Xiao. The passion between the two teens was honestly unrivaled, if they could ever redirect it from loathing the jianghu would tremble under their power.

Feng Xiao had taken to playing games with Cui Buqu, be it dice or weiqi or anything he can get his hands on. Still trying to outsmart his fiance. Cui Buqu instead practiced sleight of hand tricks and would use his multi-layered sleeves to hide his quick fingers as he switched tiles around and drove Feng Xiao up a wall. Guang Lingsan is absolutely sure that Cui Buqu only let Feng Xiao win once just to keep him playing so the sickly daoist could keep crushing him.

Feng Xiao only figured out about Cui Buqu’s cheating a few months later. Next winter he refuses to come out of his room to greet his fiance when the group arrives. Even worse, Cui Buqu found some way to stick himself to the carriage and refused to be removed. The Fajing sect leader had to wait until Cui Buqu fell asleep in the carriage to remove his cloak and get him inside. The daoist had a fever for a week after sleeping outside. Things were blessedly quiet for a few days and Guang Lingsan hoped that this would be like last summer with Cui Buqu in the library and Feng Xiao trying to find ways to one up him.

Feng Xiao complains about every little thing Cui Buqu does. From his ‘helpful’ tips about the demonic cultivator’s martial arts, to flirting with whoever is around when he can tell his fiance is in earshot. Every time he tries to flirt with the daoist, finally grasping that he needs to make this union work if he wishes to advance his own career, the daoist becomes a deaf mute and won’t respond to anything. Of course that might also have to do with Feng Xiao’s flirting methods. Until Cui Buqu crosses some sort of line by batting his eyelashes at Pei Jingzhe one afternoon when the two disciples took him some medicine before dinner.

A week later Feng Xiao locks Cui Buqu in one of Fajing Sect’s interrogation rooms and drugs him with an aphrodisiac. It’s a mild one blessedly so Cui Buqu only really needs some time in the sauna and fluids before he’s fine. His body was too weak for the drug to take a serious effect on him, which is the only thing that keeps the Fajing Sect leader from strangling his disciple. He gets blackout drunk and wakes up the next morning with a woman and man in his bed. All in all not his worst night. He’s still ready to kill his disciple though. He sends off a messenger to inform the Cui family about the incident and eventually gets a response back that Cui Buqu is in fact immune to almost every poison. After that even Guang Lingsan is ready to see the back of the Daoist sect’s group in spring.

Another two years go by and they can officially begin making preparations for the wedding. Feng Xiao has hit his final growth spurt and fully embraced the power of his looks to get what he wants. He’s sharp, he’s talented at anything he puts his mind to, and he’s already making a name for himself in the martial arts world. In a few years Guang Lingsan will be proud to hand over the sect to his beloved disciple. For now Feng Xiao will be heading up the newly formed Jiejian bureau, on the recommendation of Liuli Palace of course. The once unruly teenager has blossomed into a beautiful peacock with all the pride and grace befitting someone of his status.

He’s dressed in white and gold tonight, a gifted jade pendant at his belt. The demonic cultivator plans to sweep Cui Buqu off his feet with his dazzling self and see to it that the daoist is given a seat of honor at the bureau. The chance to spend time together in a professional capacity would hopefully push romantic feelings to bloom once Cui Buqu saw him in action. And the other’s memorization abilities and genius would only allow the Jiejian bureau to climb to new heights of success.

The Cui family’s arrival is announced, mother and son walking into the engagement party banquet hall looking equally refined. Although Cui Buqu’s health never fully recovered, the daoist was doing well enough to take a job in court. Something in documentation if he was not mistaken, boring busybody work that would make Feng Xiao’s offer sound like an appointment by heaven in comparison. His sickly complexion added an ethereal air about him, the likes Guang Lingsan hadn’t seen since Shen Qiao. The dark blue cloak and robes complimented him well, even if they only emphasized the dark circles under the daoist’s eyes. He looked like he could cough up blood at any minute. It might add some color to him.

“Ququ!” Feng Xiao calls, sweeping over to his intended. He gathers up Cui Buqu’s delicate hands in his and presses kisses to the other’s knuckles, refusing to let him pull away. “Oh Ququ, you’ll never believe it!”

“Somehow I doubt that.” The daoist speaks through gritted teeth.

“I spoke to my supervisor at the Jiejian bureau and… they’re offering you the position of fourth bureau chief! Wouldn’t that be wonderful, then we could work together and you’ll have the best boss ever, me! Just imagine-”

“Not interested.” Cui Buqu says sharply and yanks his hands free, “Just because I have to marry you doesn’t mean I will just let you make my decisions for me.”

“Don’t be impossible Ququ, I’m offering you a comfortable life. This beautiful one went to a lot of trouble to get this position secured for you.” He reaches out to touch the daoist’s cheek but finds his wrist grabbed tightly.

“There is nothing you could offer me that I would find tempting.”

Feng Xiao twists his wrist free, instead pulling the shorter man in close and wrapping an arm around his waist. “Getting to be held in my arms is a fortune that only comes once in three lifetimes. How could you not allow yourself to be swayed by my beauty and let me offer you everything your heart desires?” He murmurs softly and feels the fight drain out of Cui Buqu. The daoist sighing and becoming liquid in his arms, Feng Xiao mentally applauds himself for finally getting through to his fiance with his flawless logic.

“Feng-er,” Cui Buqu breathes softly, reaching out to cup the cultivator's cheek. He studies the other man’s features as if looking for reassurance, like he needed to be sure it was real before he gave in. Feng Xiao leans into the touch and imagines Cui Buqu sighing like that for him again, after their wedding… preferably in their bed.

“Your face could sway anyone, but not every heart will become your plaything.” Cui Buqu hisses just inches from his lips, words filled with burning vitriol. “Take away that and…what else is there?”

Cui Buqu stomps out of the room, ignoring his family and anyone else around. Pei Jingzhe trots up to Feng Qiao as he finds something to drink, before handing him a slip of paper.

“You were right, the Empress has formed her own bureau. Also on the recommendation of Liuli Palace. Here’s the symbol for their agents.”

He takes the slip and looks over the sketch on it before crumpling the paper and tucking it into his sleeve. He takes a sip of his drink and stares at the doorway Cui Buqu recently stomped out of, “The Zuoyue bureau, hmm. Things just got interesting.”

Notes:

This begins Feng Xiao's relentless attempts to seduce his actual husband. Cui Buqu is into it.