Work Text:
Chloe takes a deep breath as the elevator reaches the penthouse. The weight of the night is crushing down on her—the weight of the last year, if she’s being honest—and she was at odds sitting at home alone while Trixie is with Dan. All of her thoughts centered around one person, someone she’s let down more in the last few months than she’s ever let down anybody else. And if she’s feeling this bad, how must Lucifer feel?
She should have spoken to him back at the docks after Julian escaped and left chaos and a dead rookie in his wake. Guilt and grief were crushing her heart and her throat, and when she got the slightest peek at Lucifer’s tormented expression, all words of comfort fled; she had no idea what to do or say to make herself feel better, let alone her partner. But she can’t leave him on his own tonight.
He’s not alone. He has Eve.
Chloe has told herself that a hundred times tonight and it did nothing to alleviate her anxiety. Somehow, she doesn’t think Eve knows what Lucifer needs right now. From what little she’s seen and heard, their relationship revolves around sex and Eve only sees him as the Devil; she doesn’t realize that Lucifer is so much more than just that. And yes, okay, Chloe has had the same problem, but she’s seeing things clearly again; she sees all of Lucifer—the good and the...not so good. He has darkness, he always has, but now it seems to be surrounding him, consuming him.
Tonight, Chloe suspects that darkness is worse than ever. He tried to do the right thing, to let the trained police officers handle the situation, and a cop was killed. She knows he’s blaming himself for everything; he has a really bad habit of that. He blames himself for so much that isn’t his fault; this, tonight, was far from his fault.
The elevator doors open and Chloe’s eyes widen at the sight of the penthouse. Lucifer is usually so meticulous and obsessed with cleanliness, but the last few times she’s been here...well, it looks like a sex tornado tore through here. Sighing, she searches for Lucifer, finding him at the bar, on the phone.
“Thanks, Maze,” he says softly as he hangs up. He glances over to the elevator and does a double-take when he spots Chloe. “Detective...what are you doing here?”
“Hey,” she says quietly, ignoring the mess in favor of her partner. “I, um, I’m sorry for just showing up like this, but, um, can we talk for a minute?”
Although he looks stunned to see her here at all, he nods, turning back to the bar. “Yes, of course,” he says, subdued. “Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thanks,” she says softly, pressing her hands against the bar and ignoring the remnants of white powder a foot or so away. “H-how are you?”
Lucifer scoffs, guilt and something even darker shivering across his expression. “How do you think?” he mutters, sipping his whiskey. “I got a cop killed tonight. All because I was trying to be someone I’m not.”
Chloe frowns. She’ll address what happened with Joan, but something about that last statement really bothers her. She recalls their conversation in the car before Julian showed up; Lucifer’s question about whether he’s different. “What do you mean, trying to be someone you’re not?”
Turning to face her, he stares down into his drink. “Well, I was trying to be one of the ‘good guys’, wasn’t I? Trying to do the-the right thing by not punishing Julian myself.” He pulls in a trembling breath. “And look what happened.”
Chloe shakes her head. “No, Lucifer, what happened tonight...it wasn’t your fault,” she says softly. He scoffs loudly, but before he can speak, she continues, “I was in charge of that sting tonight, Lucifer. I was the one who sent you in after Julian. I was the one who sent Joan in without back-up, knowing she wasn’t ready to be completely on her own. So if anything, this was my fault. Not yours. I’m sorry, Lucifer. I'm so, so sorry, I let you down tonight.” Sucking in a painful breath, Chloe tries to blink back her tears. “Just as I let you down—”
“Detective,” he breathes, shaking his head. “No...that—this was not on you. I am the Devil, I don’t require backup. I should have taken care of that piece of filth the moment I had my hands on him, but I didn’t. I let him go.”
“You did what you should have done. You’re such a good man, Lucifer. One of the best I’ve ever known. And you’re still the best partner I have ever had. This is my fuck-up, Lucifer. I’m sorry.” Her voice breaks and the tears she’s been holding back all night start to fall.
Agony fills Lucifer’s eyes. He sets down his drink and quickly walks around the bar, gently pulling her into his arms. Chloe presses her face to his chest, wrapping her arms around him. A large hand cradles the back of her head, a thumb rubbing her back through her shirt. “Don’t cry, Detective,” he murmurs brokenly. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry, Lucifer,” she sobs, her voice muffled in his chest, tightening her grip on him. She’s needed these arms around her for months; missed the way he feels against her. Holding her. Comforting her. Protecting her. She ruined it all. “I’m sorry.”
“Hush, now,” he whispers, pain making his voice sound strained. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“It was, though. I ran. I lied to you. I betrayed you.”
Lucifer stiffens when he realizes what she’s talking about. “Detective...”
“No, please,” she says, pulling away from his chest to meet his gaze. “I should have told you this already, but I got caught up in...everything. I’m sorry for all of it. And I don’t expect you to forgive me; I know you probably can’t. But you’re my partner. Of course I accept you. All of you. Devil and all.”
He looks so taken aback by her words that he’s speechless. “You accept me?” he whispers, stunned. “But I thought you were terrified?”
Chloe rolls her eyes at herself. “I was, but not of you. I’m sorry I didn’t say so sooner.”
She was going to tell him that night after the necklace case, but when she got to Lux, she found him on the dance floor with Eve and it looked as if they were having...a moment. It broke her heart, but she had to leave them to it.
“I don’t...” Lucifer shakes his head, sucking in a sharp breath.
Behind them, the elevator dings and they both look over to find Eve stepping into the penthouse. She stops in her tracks, her mouth falling open when she finds Chloe in Lucifer’s arms still. Shame floods through Chloe’s veins as she reluctantly pulls away from him. He looks down at her, apology in his eyes.
“What’s going on?” Eve asks slowly, looking between them.
“We were just...” Lucifer starts.
“I just came over to talk to Lucifer about tonight,” Chloe says tightly, not wanting Lucifer to get into the details in front of his girlfriend. “But, um,” she turns back to Lucifer, “we can talk tomorrow, yeah?”
He nods slowly. “Yes, of course,” he murmurs, eyebrows pulled together as he studies her closely.
“Call if you need anything?” she says, keeping her voice quiet enough so only he can hear her.
“I will,” he replies just as quietly. Then a bit louder, “Good night, Detective. Drive safely.”
With a tight smile, Chloe forces herself to leave. “‘Night, Eve,” she says when she passes the other woman.
Eve doesn’t respond, her eyes locked on Lucifer.
When the elevator doors close, Chloe collapses against the wall, her tears returning. What the hell was she doing? Tonight was not the time for that conversation; she came here to make sure Lucifer is okay, to comfort him, and she made it about herself. The words wouldn’t be held back any longer, though; she’s been swallowing them down every time she and Lucifer are alone, assuming he wouldn’t even want to hear them. That he wouldn’t believe them after she lied to him and broke his trust.
But she’s missed him so much. Her partner and her best friend. The person she counts on more than any other. The last few months, ever since Lucifer came back to work, there’s been a canyon between them that she can never bridge. She broke something vital between them, shattered it into dust, and maybe it can’t be repaired.
Lucifer is happy now—tonight notwithstanding. He has somebody who accepts him as the Devil, embraces it even. Chloe should be happy for him. But then she hears about all his sex-capades with his girlfriend, and all she feels is burning jealousy. Chloe could be with Lucifer right now if she hadn’t fucked off to Europe after seeing his face. Or even if she hadn’t come back with that vial in her pocket with a crazy fanatic priest in tow. Maybe none of this would have happened. He wouldn’t be with Eve. He wouldn’t be tearing himself in two trying to work as Chloe’s partner and be the big, bad Devil Eve wants him to be.
Joan wouldn’t be dead.
Closing her eyes tightly, she bites back another sob. Chloe has no one to blame for everything that’s happened between her and Lucifer but herself. As she pushes herself out of the elevator, she tries to get control so she can drive home. Her hand is on the car door—
“Detective! Wait!”
Frowning, Chloe turns to find Lucifer bursting out of the fire escape door, searching the garage frantically for her. Relief fills his expression when he finds her. “Lucifer...” she breathes as he strides towards her quickly. “What are you—”
“Did you mean it?” he interrupts. His eyes are wild and desperate.
“I...what? Mean what?”
His face falls slightly. “What you said, about...about accepting...well, me.”
“Oh,” she whispers. She looks at him for a moment and realizes he’s barely holding himself together. Not once has she ever seen him out of breath, but she doesn’t think it was rushing down all those steps that did it. It also looks like one wrong word will shatter his barely held together control; it will shatter him. “Lucifer, yes, of course I meant it.”
Wonder and awe light his eyes. The smile he gives her is soft and tinged in relief. “Really?”
“Yes, really. I was stupid, okay? For all of it. I never should have—”
Her words are cut off when Lucifer leans forward, takes her face in his hands, and kisses her. Chloe is so surprised that the only thing her body can do is kiss him back, grasping his lapels to pull him closer. It’s a kiss she’s dreamed and fantasized about for years, and it’s better than she ever imagined. It’s everything she ever wanted—
Eve’s face flashes suddenly in her mind. Lucifer’s girlfriend.
Chloe pulls away instantly—and feels instantly bereft. Her lips are tingling, her mind is buzzing, her whole body is filled with warmth that’s rapidly turning cold, and need and longing that is physically painful. Opening her eyes, she reads the rejection on Lucifer’s face, his confusion. The hurt.
“We can’t,” she gasps, trying to get her breathing and heart rate back to normal. “I can’t.”
“Right,” Lucifer sighs, averting his gaze as he deflates. “I understand, Detective. I thought... I mean, you said you accepted me, that you weren’t afraid anymore...”
She blinks several times, trying to get her mind back online and working properly. Wait, he thinks she stopped kissing him because he’s the Devil? “No, Lucifer, that isn’t...” Chloe thought she made it clear she doesn’t care about him being the Devil. That she isn’t afraid of him. “That’s not why we can’t...” She gestures vaguely between them. “You have a girlfriend. Remember? Eve.”
Realization dawns in his eyes. “Oh,” he breathes, eyebrows furrowing. “Oh, right.”
Did he seriously forget about Eve?
They stand in tense silence for a couple minutes, each of them lost in their own thoughts. Chloe knows she should leave so she can get her head back on straight. She knows she’s going to be dreaming of that kiss for months to come and that it’s going to make the pain she feels every second she and Lucifer aren’t together even worse. But she can’t...do what he does. Lucifer sleeps with everyone and it means nothing to him. He and Eve regularly bring people into their bed, and while that may work for them...Chloe isn’t built like that. She needs commitment and monogamy. She needs an emotional connection.
“Detective,” Lucifer says softly. “I never meant to make you feel...discomfited.” He runs a hand down his face.
Chloe shakes her head, unable to look at him. “No, I know you didn’t. I just...I need more than this, Lucifer. More than...”
“Me.”
She frowns. “No,” she says, huffing an incredulous laugh. “But I won’t be the other woman. I won’t...turn you into a cheater. And it doesn’t matter if you and Eve have an open relationship or whatever,” she adds hastily when he opens his mouth. “I can’t...share. Especially not with you.”
His lips part in surprise. “Right. Of course. What if—”
“I should go,” she says abruptly. “I’m sorry. This...I just wanted to make sure you were okay after tonight and I think I made things worse. So I’ll just—”
“You didn’t,” he says earnestly. He takes a step towards her, but stops when she automatically steps backwards. His face falls. “Detective, I think you’ve made me see things more clearly than I have in...a long time. So thank you. Truly.”
Finally meeting his gaze again, she sees the sincerity and the gratitude in his eyes. And the soft half-smile on his lips that he hasn’t given her since before Rome. Her heart aches. “I’m glad. I’ll, um...see you tomorrow?”
“Bright and early,” he promises, then adds for the second time tonight, “Drive safely, Detective.”
Nodding without a word, Chloe gets into her car, feeling his eyes on her until she pulls out of the parking garage and around a corner. And that’s when the tears start to fall again.
Chloe has barely been home ten minutes when there’s a soft knock on her door. She sighs exhaustedly. Her entire body aches, her heart worst of all. The weight of the night is crashing down on her and all she wants is to sleep. But the knocking persists. Any hope that someone has the wrong address fades into nothingness.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” she mutters under her breath, pushing off the couch. She can’t imagine who would be here this late at night. When she opens the door, her heart stops, finding Lucifer standing there looking windswept as if he drove at the speed of light to get here.
Or flew. Because he has wings.
“Lucifer. What are you...”
“I broke up with Eve,” he blurts without hesitation. Chloe blinks at him. “We’re done, Detective. The only thing I want—the only thing I have ever wanted is you. But I thought it was too late. I thought you were afraid of me. I thought...well, I thought you wouldn’t want me. But if you do, if you can accept me, if you can find it in your heart, despite all I’ve done, to give me another chance, nothing would make me happier.”
Chloe is so shocked by his speech that she’s speechless. Her mind is completely empty while her heart restarts and takes off at lightspeed. “Uh...” It’s the only sound she can make right now.
Lucifer’s hopeful expression begins to falter. “You...don’t want that,” he says, every word quieter and filled with more dejection than the last. “Of course you don’t. My apologies, I didn’t mean to—”
“Lucifer,” she says suddenly. He pauses, raising his eyebrows. “Shut up for a second. Let me get this straight: You broke up with Eve...to be with me?”
“Yes. If it’s what you desire.”
Her mouth opens and closes soundlessly. “I mean...of course it is. But you don’t do—”
“Commitment?” he finishes for her. “Monogamy? Exclusivity? Detective, that’s because I could only ever want that with you. If I have you...well, what else could I possibly need?”
All the breath rushes from her lungs. “Lucifer...”
“Tell me it isn’t too late,” he pleads softly, stepping forward and taking her face in his hands again. Chloe can’t stop herself from leaning into his touch. “Tell me you still want me. Chloe, please.”
She nods. “I still want you,” she breathes, her eyes filling with tears. “And it’s never too late, Lucifer.”
The relief in his expression spreads to the rest of his body, the smile on his face literally breathtaking. He leans forward and presses his forehead to hers. It’s so reminiscent of that day on the science lab stairs, back when there was so much hope for the two of them. That feeling is back with a vengeance.
“Can we talk?” Lucifer asks softly. “Properly talk?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. Come in?”
With a smile, Lucifer follows her inside and kicks the door shut. Chloe doesn’t know what will happen next. She doesn’t know if this will work out or not. But she does know that if anybody can find a way through the troubles they’ll face, it’s them. Chloe and Lucifer. The Detective and her Devil.