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Anticipatory nerves rush all through Chloe’s body as the elevator takes her up to Lucifer’s penthouse. She isn’t even sure why she’s here, let alone why she’s nervous. After the catastrophic bachelorette party last night, followed by ending her engagement to Marcus, and everything she’s realized in between, the last place she wanted to be was here, at Lux. Or so she thought. Once Marcus left and Chloe got her daughter tucked into bed, she thought she would be consumed by the sadness that goes along with ending a relationship; it tells her a lot that she wasn’t. In fact, ending things with Marcus was...well, it was a relief.
Instead, once she climbed into bed herself, her thoughts were consumed by something else—somebody else. All she could think about was her conversation with the bus driver after she left her friends arguing on the sidewalk.
“He’s my everything. I hope your guy is, too.”
It clicked in Chloe’s mind suddenly that...no, Marcus isn’t her everything. Not even close. Everything happened so fast, starting with her first date with Marcus to when he broke up with her, then turned around and proposed marriage. She barely had a chance to think, let alone make massively huge decisions about her and her daughter’s future, and that just isn’t like her.
What she realized sitting alone at the back of that party bus was that while Marcus wasn’t her everything...somebody is, and marrying anybody who isn’t would be the biggest mistake of her life. The problem, though, is that the man who has come to be her everything—her best friend, the person she counts on the most, her partner—doesn’t want that with her. He’s pushed her away at every turn, and though she knows he has feelings for her, he refuses to admit to them. He’s terrified of intimacy and commitment and feelings. It drives her crazy and it pisses her off, but she can’t force him to change. And she doesn’t want to. Not really. She would prefer it if he opened up just a little to her; to at least confess to wanting to be with her as much as she wants to be with him. But if partners and friends is all he’s willing to give her right now...then she’ll take it.
Maybe she should be more hesitant after all the times he's run from her; all the times she's been burned by him, especially. Lucifer is allergic to feelings and the biggest commitment-phobe she's ever known. He is far from being the serious relationship type. But her own feelings have been chipping away from her little by little for their entire partnership. At the very least, she needs to get them out in the open; to tell him what neither of them has been able to admit. She's tired of the back and forth and the running away when they get scared. Something has to give.
The elevator comes to a gentle stop and she bites her lip, really hoping to find him alone; he tends to use partying and sex as distractions when he’s dealing with something. Or even when he isn’t dealing with something, but she hopes that isn’t the case this morning. After last night, she isn’t sure she could handle seeing the man she’s fallen for with another woman or man—or several of each.
When the doors open she nervously peeks out into the penthouse and sighs in relief. There are no signs of anybody else being here, no clothes strewn all across the place, no furniture askew. Everything is quiet. That doesn’t necessarily mean the coast is clear, of course; they could still be asleep. Stepping out of the elevator, she scans for any signs of life. It’s still early and even if he is alone, Lucifer tends to sleep in after late nights. Cautiously, she cranes her neck to peek into the bedroom—
“Detective?”
Chloe jumps at the sound of his voice and turns to find him standing just inside the balcony doors. The morning sun casts a halo of light around him and she’s momentarily stunned by the sight; for the briefest of seconds, she could believe he’s an angel. “Oh, hi,” she says a little breathlessly.
Lucifer’s eyebrows furrow and his head tilts slightly in confusion. “Hello,” he says slowly. “You’re here early. I wasn’t expecting to see you before I arrived at the precinct. What are you doing here? Not that you aren’t welcome, because you are, anytime, I just...” He trails off, averting his eyes as he realizes he’s babbling. “Um, apologies. May I offer you a drink? Coffee, perhaps?”
“Actually, yeah, coffee sounds great,” she says. She didn’t get much (any) sleep last night while her thoughts bounced from one topic to the next, always circling back around to Lucifer and her feelings for him. “Thanks.”
“Right,” he says after staring at her a few more moments. Blinking and shaking himself, he strides quickly towards the bar. “Right,” he says again. “One coffee, coming right up. Do we...have a case? I’m sorry, I think my phone is in the bedroom charging.”
Shaking her head, Chloe forces herself to move further inside. “No. No, we don’t have a case.”
Something flashes in Lucifer’s eyes and he seems to deflate. “Yes, of course. You’re still on your holiday, aren’t you?” His voice sounds more subdued now.
It takes Chloe a second to figure out what he’s talking about, then she realizes: the wedding planning vacation Marcus insisted she take. Because Lucifer doesn’t know Chloe broke off the engagement. She quickly hides her hands behind her back, not ready for him to know just yet. “Actually, um, I was kind of hoping that we could...talk. Unless this is a bad time?” She’s still looking around for any signs that they aren’t alone, but the bed looks to be empty.
Lucifer glances at her over his shoulder, faint surprise flickering across his expression. “No, no, this isn’t a bad time, Detective.”
“You’re alone, right?” she blurts out.
His surprise is less faint now. “Yes...? I mean, not anymore, now that you’re here, but otherwise, I am.”
Chloe lets out a breath she refuses to admit is relief. “Oh. Okay. Yeah, good.”
Lucifer frowns at her. “Are you...quite all right, Detective? You seem...flustered.”
She shakes her head quickly. “Nope. Not flustered. I mean, why would I be?”
“Well, you tell me, darling,” he says, huffing a laugh as he expertly makes her what she’s sure is a latte with his fancy espresso machine. “It isn’t like you to be here this early, especially recently. And I just assumed you had a...a late night last night.”
“Right...” Chloe shakes herself, trying to get it together. “Sorry, I’m...” She huffs. “Actually, you know what? I don’t know what I am right now.”
Lucifer turns fully to study her and she studies him right back. He looks like he’s only been out of bed a little while. His hair is mussed and curly, and she has the insane urge to run her fingers through it. He’s still wearing his red silk robe and pajama bottoms—she tries her best not to stare too long at his tanned, toned chest. (Has he always had that many freckles?) Feeling her face (and other parts of her body) heat up, she looks away.
A few moments later, a black mug is placed in front of her. She glances up to see Lucifer still staring at her, like he’s trying to figure her out (well, that makes two of us), his frown back in place. “Seriously, darling, are you well? Has something happened?”
Taking a deep breath, Chloe manages to get her thoughts in order. “There’s something I need to say to you, actually. And, um, I’m not sure whether you’re going to like it or not.”
Lucifer’s lips part as he sucks in a sharp breath, an indiscernible emotion flickering through his eyes. “I see,” he sighs, looking away. He turns around and pours himself a glass of whiskey. Chloe swallows the urge to remind him it isn’t even nine in the morning yet. “As a matter of fact, Detective, there is something I need to say to you, as well.”
Chloe can count the number of times Lucifer has sounded this serious on one hand. There’s determination in his eyes along with something she thinks might be nerves of his own. “Okay,” she says softly. “Um, go ahead.”
Taking a quick sip of his drink, he licks his lips. Chloe tries not to stare at that, either. “After...well, the last several days, I’ve actually managed to learn something, Detective.” He smiles, but it’s tight and tinged with sadness. One of his hands reflexively goes to the cuff of his robe, probably to fidget with a cufflink he isn’t wearing. Lucifer takes a deep breath as his arm falls limply to his side and he meets her gaze. “I get it now, Detective.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, Chloe shakes her head. “Get...what?” she asks slowly.
He gestures at her, then himself, then in a vague circle off to the side. “I get why you chose...well, him.”
Chloe holds her breath, staring at Lucifer. He’s definitely nervous, maybe even a little scared, which is so not like him. She’s accustomed to the confident, carefree Lucifer Morningstar who avoids anything and everything feelings-related or adjacent. The man who would rather run off to Las Vegas and marry a stripper than tell Chloe to her face he doesn’t want to be in a relationship with her. But this Lucifer...she’s seen glimpses of him on occasion. Someone who is uncertain and a little insecure; terrified of getting hurt. Seeing this side of him is one of the reasons she fell for him in the first place.
“Lucifer...”
“Please, Detective, I need to say this,” he interrupts. Chloe clamps her mouth shut and nods. He sighs. “You deserve...well, everything that is good in this world. You deserve somebody who is steady and reliable, someone who can be there for you. Somebody who isn’t afraid to let you in and who doesn’t constantly hurt you and make you cry.” Pain flashes in his bright eyes and when he looks down, Chloe swears they’re glistening. “You deserve somebody worthy, Chloe. And...well, we both know that isn’t me.” He presses his lips together in an attempt to smile that fails miserably. “So, yes, I get it. And I’m sorry for any pain I may have caused you. I wish you nothing but the best. All the happiness in the universe. It’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. So if...he is who gives you all of that, who makes you happy, then I shall step aside. I will not speak another word about it. You’ve my word on that.”
Chloe stares in stunned silence when he finishes his speech, hardly believing any of those words came from her partner. The man who just last week was doing everything he could to prove he’s better than Marcus—bringing her treats, buying her a car, setting up an elaborate, romantic meal where he once again broke her heart. The man who has been more jealous and possessive in the last few months than Chloe has ever seen him.
“Lucifer,” she whispers again. Needing something to do with her hands, she wraps them around the coffee mug. “Look, I need to tell you something—”
His eyes fall to her hands, or more specifically, her finger. Her bare finger. “Hang on,” he says suddenly, blinking as if he thinks he’s hallucinating. “No ring.”
Sucking in a breath, Chloe glances down at her finger, too, and nods. “Yep. No ring.”
Lucifer’s eyes widen in surprise, snapping up to meet Chloe’s. “I don’t...”
“I ended things with Marcus. That’s what I came to tell you. Well, partly what I came to tell you. I, um, came to some pretty stark conclusions last night and...yeah. I realized a lot of things, mostly that it was all moving way too quickly for me with him. But also, that what I thought I wanted was something completely different from what I actually want.”
Lucifer shakes his head a little. “I’m afraid I’m not following, Detective.”
Chloe huffs a laugh. “Yeah, I know, I’m not making a lot of sense.” Searching Lucifer's eyes for answers she isn’t sure she’ll find, she sighs. “What I’m saying is, I thought I wanted somebody who was safe and steady and reliable. Somebody who believes in justice and finding the truth as much as I do, and somebody who’s...I don’t know...predictable?”
She rolls her eyes at herself. “But the thing is, what I really wanted has been right in front of me all this time. Someone who has my back and believes in me and makes me laugh and helps me have fun. Someone who cares about my daughter. Someone who is kind and generous, even if he hides it and pretends otherwise. Someone who is flawed and has his own darkness, but who is, essentially, at his very core, good.”
Wondering if she’s ever seen him more lost and confused, Chloe smiles. “Someone who is willing to step aside and let me have happiness with somebody else, even though the truth is, I can’t be happy without him in my life.”
That seems to reach him. Lucifer’s mouth goes slack as he stares at her. “Detective...” he breathes.
“I don’t want Marcus, Lucifer. If I’m being completely honest, I’m not sure I ever did. You know, I told myself that I could be happy with him. I could have a future with him. I could love him.” She shakes her head, her eyes warming and prickling at the corners. “But I couldn’t. Because every time I was with him, all I could think about...was you.”
A rush of air bursts from Lucifer’s lips, like he’s been punched in the gut. His eyes widen. “Me?” he whispers shakily.
“Yeah,” she whispers back with a tremulous smile. “And, look, I’m sorry for just...dropping all of this on you so suddenly. But I spent all night thinking about it and... Lucifer, I know you probably aren’t ready for a relationship. And that’s fine. It is. But I needed you to know that when you are, I’m here. I’ve always been right here. So if you ever change your mind—”
So quickly that Chloe doesn’t even realize he’s moved, Lucifer is in front of her, his hands cradling her face like she’s priceless. He searches her eyes for something briefly, his own bright and hopeful and maybe a little scared again, then he’s kissing her. Really kissing her with passion and heat and affection. Chloe reaches out to grasp his robe for balance, returning it with everything she feels for him. He lets out a little strangled noise that isn’t quite a groan and teases her bottom lip with his teeth, tugging lightly, then dragging his tongue along it and begging for entrance.
Pressing herself against him and feeling him press back, Chloe parts her lips. This time, Lucifer can’t hold back his groan as their tongues tangle and dance like they’ve been doing this for years, rather than it being the first time. It might not be their first kiss, but this is nothing like the one on the beach, which was sweet and tentative and left Chloe wanting so much more. Wanting this.
Lucifer gentles this kiss and pulls away, pressing his forehead to hers, still holding her close. “Chloe...” he breathes shakily.
She smiles. The way he says her name has always had an effect on her. He uses it so rarely, addressing her by her title that he’s somehow turned into an endearing moniker. She likes hearing him call her Detective, but she loves hearing him call her Chloe. “Lucifer,” she murmurs, opening her eyes.
His eyes are still closed tightly, as if he’s afraid that if he opens them, he’ll lose their moment. The little bubble they’ve somehow created together. “You’re choosing me?” he whispers, his voice cracking just a little bit. Finally, he opens his eyes and she has never seen them like this. Lucifer’s eyes are always so expressive, giving away whatever he might be feeling in a given moment despite the expression on his face. Now, she swears she sees stars in them, something lighting him up from the inside.
Her hands slide up his chest to his neck, her thumbs brushing the underside of his jaw and feeling the edges of his stubble, which is surprisingly soft—she’s always wondered what it would feel like. “Lucifer, I chose you a long time ago.” Before their kiss on the beach, even, she thinks. Back on that morning in her kitchen when she made him an egg sandwich and he told her that her father would be proud of her. “There was never a choice to make.”
Lucifer huffs a breath that catches in his chest. His mouth opens and closes a few times, like he doesn’t know what to say. “It’s only ever been you,” he murmurs softly, stroking her cheek. “And I do want...well, I want anything you’re willing to give me, Detective. Anything and everything.”
Chloe smiles. “Yeah?” she whispers.
He nods slowly, looking like he can’t believe she’s here and this is happening. Again, that makes two of them. “There are things, though, Detective, that you don’t know. A-about me, I mean. And I want to tell you, I do, but...” He swallows hard, backing up further. “Well, since we’re being completely honest...I’ve been afraid.”
Blinking, Chloe watches him. “Afraid?” She shakes her head; she’s never known Lucifer to be afraid of anything. He runs headlong into danger without regard for his own life. He has jumped in front of bullets and knives more times than she can count—to protect her. Lucifer is one of the bravest (if foolhardy) men she’s ever known.
“Yes,” he sighs heavily. “Of h-how I feel about you, and...well, that you only want me because you’ve seen certain sides of me. You believe me to be...good and kind and generous, but the truth is, Detective, there is another side you’ve yet to see. That I’ve kept from you, because I’m afraid that if you do see the truth, you’ll run. And that is something I can’t bear. To see you fear me.” He smiles sadly. “Because the other side of me, Detective, it’s...bad. Monstrous, even.”
“Lucifer...” Chloe shakes her head, reaching for him, but he backs away, holding his hands up. He needs space, even though it clearly pains him.
“I can’t show you right now, so I’ll just have to tell you.” His hands lower to his sides. “Detective...” He huffs a breath, shaking his head. “Chloe. I am the Devil.”
Memories rush through her mind from their partnership. All the times he’s told her that same thing. All the times that she’s seen something she can’t explain or that she’s come up with some ‘logical’ explanation for. All the times she’s rolled her eyes or scoffed or snapped at him. All the times she’s wondered what if...?
Deep down, in her gut, a feeling she’s ignored for years or pushed down rises again. Chloe searches Lucifer’s eyes, waiting for a frisson of fear to shoot down her spine or for something to change. Nothing happens. And she knows why.
Sliding off her stool, Chloe closes the distance between her and Lucifer. He watches her anxiously as she cups his face. “No, you’re not.” His face falls at her denial, but he hides his disappointment. “Not to me.” Lucifer blinks at her. “Lucifer, I don’t know what the truth is, and I know there’s something you’re trying to tell me. But I don’t see you as bad or monstrous or evil. I never have. Do you want to know what I see when I look at you?”
He hesitates for a long moment, then nods faintly, unable to take his eyes off her.
“My partner,” she whispers. “My best friend. I see someone who has come to mean more to me than I think he knows.”
Huffing a disbelieving breath, he smiles tremulously. He looks speechless. So Chloe does the only thing that makes sense to her in the moment—she kisses him again, trying to impart in the language he speaks most fluently how she feels. Devil or not, Lucifer is who she wants. And she doesn’t think anything can or will ever change that.
A few days later, that declaration is challenged in the worst way. Chloe stands at the foot of a staircase, staring around the loft as dust settles. Bodies are strewn all around the room and in the center, her ex-fiancé lies dead with a familiar blade in his chest. Standing in front of her is someone who only vaguely resembles her partner, the man she spent an entire morning making out with not long ago.
At the same time, she doesn’t recognize him in the slightest. The only familiar thing is the suit he’s wearing, which has what she thinks are bullet holes in the chest and a bleeding cut in the shoulder. But it’s his face that has her in stunned shock. Something about it feels familiar, like she’s seen this exact thing before. It’s the unmistakable face of the Devil with eyes that seem to be made of fire.
Chloe should be terrified. She should be running as far from this place as possible. Some part of her wants to, desperately, but some bigger part stops her. The more she looks at those eyes made of fire, the more she sees—emotions. Fear. Sadness. Resignation. Her eyes move across the crimson face that is so dark in some places they’re nearly black. It looks like he’s been skinned alive—or maybe burned alive, over and over again. But she recognizes that patrician nose, the brows above his eyes, the bone structure, and the jawline. She knows that scar on his chin; she’s stared at it, wondering how he got it, more times than she can count when he wasn’t looking.
All the breath rushes from her lungs and she can’t pull in anymore. It’s Lucifer. Lucifer is the Devil, just as he tried to tell her that morning.
“Detective,” he breathes, his voice tentative and shaking. “Detective, I swear to you, you are safe. I would never hurt you.”
She knows that. Lucifer has only tried to protect her, including today. Chloe isn’t sure exactly how he got her to that rooftop, but her perceptive gaze didn’t miss the bloody feathers up there that match the ones all over the floor down here. Bullet shells litter the floor and she doesn’t think they were all spent in the time it took her to reach Lucifer—which means all the gunfire she thought she imagined when she was unconscious really happened. How did they survive?
“Detective, are you all right?”
Is she? She honestly has no idea. Two days ago, she and Lucifer tentatively started...something; they haven’t had much time to talk with everything else going on—first, Charlotte’s death, then with Pierce (Cain?) being the Sinnerman. And now this.
“Detective...Chloe. I am the Devil.”
He tried to tell her. He’s been trying to tell her all along. But he told her he couldn’t show her. That there wasn’t anything he could give her as proof, like horns or a tail. She should feel like an idiot for not realizing the man who doesn’t lie wasn’t lying about this, either. But even that day, she knew deep down he might be telling the truth; she just wasn’t ready to face it. She wasn’t ready for everything to change. Now that it has, what does she do?
She could run. She could try to get as far from him as possible and erase him from her life for good. But she doesn’t want to. Chloe doesn’t understand any of this, she has a thousand questions brewing in her mind, and Lucifer has a lot to explain. But she doesn’t want to run.
Swallowing hard and finally pulling in a deep breath, Chloe snaps out of her stunned surprise and takes a shaky step forward. Those red eyes widen in what she thinks is fear, but he doesn’t move a muscle. What could the Devil have to fear from her? From anyone?
She doesn’t stop until they’re a foot away from each other. The longer she looks at this face, the more tragic it seems to her. While she has no idea what happened to him or if he’s had this face all his life, the fear she feels is fading away.
“It’s really you,” she whispers.
Lucifer presses his lips together and nods minutely.
“You’re...the Devil.”
His eyes close and a breath catches in his chest. “Yes,” he exhales, opening his eyes. She thinks they’re glistening through the crimson flames. “I am.”
Chloe nods slowly. When she lifts her hands, every muscle in his body tenses like he’s repressing a flinch—does he think she’s going to hit him? “It’s okay,” she murmurs softly, resting her hands on his chest. He tilts his head to the side, a mannerism so familiar to her that she nearly smiles. “Not to me.”
Lucifer’s mouth falls open as he stares at her, those red, wet eyes still full of fire dart rapidly between Chloe’s eyes, desperately searching. “Really?” he whispers brokenly. “You’re not...afraid?”
“I...wouldn’t say that,” she says slowly. “I don’t understand anything that’s happening right now. I never believed in this stuff, Lucifer. I’m terrified...”
Unmistakable pain flickers across his face. It surprises her a little that she recognizes it so easily. “I understand, Detective,” he murmurs, dropping his gaze and backing away a step. “I shall keep my distance.”
Chloe’s eyebrows furrow, her mind whirring, trying to work through all of this at once and trying to figure out how to explain this crime scene. Maybe that’s why it takes her too long to realize he thinks she’s afraid of him. “Not you,” she says quickly as he starts to leave. He pauses in his steps but doesn’t turn back to her. “Lucifer, I’m not afraid of you. We have a lot to talk about and work through—” She has sudden déjà vu to the other morning in the penthouse. “—but I want to work through it. With your help. I w-want to work through it with you. Partners. Remember?”
Lucifer doesn’t turn back to her for long moments, but when he does, she isn’t looking at the face of the Devil, but the one she knows so well. It’s his turn to be locked in stunned surprise. “You...really mean that?” he whispers, unable to keep the hope from his voice.
“Yeah. I do.”
He couldn’t look more astonished if he tried. Awed, even. “I...yes, I want that, too, Detective.”
Sighing in relief that she's gotten through to him, Chloe glances around her at this mess of a crime scene. “Okay. Dan called for backup. We have work to do. Once this has all calmed down, we’re going to sit down and talk. All right?”
“Yes...” he murmurs faintly, still staring at her almost reverently. Shaking himself, he nods. “Yes, Detective.” He gives her a tentative smile that she returns.
Chloe watches him for a moment longer, then turns away, glancing at the feathers on the floor that she suspects shouldn't be here and the knife in Pierce’s chest. “Okay. Let’s get to work.”