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"Tsukasa-kun!"
"Rui?"
"Come with me, I want to show you something."
Tsukasa splutters, looking at Rui from his bedroom window. Rui just smiled at him, like there was nothing wrong with showing up to your friends' house in the middle of the night.
"Do you know how cold it is?! Or how late it is?!" Tsukasa whisper-shouts into his phone.
"Vaguely." Rui grin just gets wider. Tsukasa could see it from here. "Come join me, Tsukasa-kun. I promise it will be worth it. You won't let poor me freeze out here all on my lonesome, will you?"
"I would! I will!" Tsukasa hangs up, throwing his blanket over his head.
And he would've gone back to sleep too, if it weren't for Rui still staring at him from outside. The fact that his bed was pressed against the window didn't help either. Tsukasa could almost see Rui's little smirk, as if he knew Tsukasa would cave and join him outside.
...And he'd be right.
Tsukasa groans, getting out of bed. Since when was he so weak willed? Was he too empathetic, not wanting Rui to freeze while waiting for him to never come out? Or was Tsukasa a bit curious about what Rui had to show him?
The answer was yes to both.
"Alright, you win. I'm outside." Tsukasa grumbled. Even though he threw on a thick sweater and coat along with fluffy socks, he could still feel the cold through his thin pajama pants. He was already regretting this decision.
"Tsukasa-kun, you're so kind." Rui is smiling As he takes Tsukasa's hand, leading him away from his house.
"We don't need to go far." Rui tells him as they find their way to a nearby park, the one where Saki used to meet up with the rest of Leo/Need when they were children. "I just wanted to show you the moon."
"The moon?" Tsukasa repeats, looking at the looming light in the sky. A full moon tonight, with a cloudless sky. There was too much light pollution to see any stars. "What's so special about the moon?"
Rui giggles, reaching into his coat and pulling out a cylinder.
No, not a cylinder. A telescope.
"I got this recently as a gift from Nene's mother." Rui extends the telescope to its full length. It clearly wasn't a fancy one, it was made out of wood and was a gift one would give to a preteen or child to placate them if they wanted a real telescope, but when Tsukasa looks through, he can see that the lenses were at least legitimate. He could see very far away.
"Come here." Rui beckons Tsukasa, angling the telescope at the moon. His arms were warm around Tsukasa as he held the telescope steady.
A mystery, since Rui always seemed to run cold.
"The moon..." Tsukasa murmured before peering through the lens.
Ah, the moon was much more up close now. Tsukasa could almost see the craters clearly, and the light was so bright it was almost blinding.
"Wow.." Tsukasa studied the darker spots of the craters he could now make out. Without the telescope, he could still see the craters but he's never seen them like this before.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Rui whispers right into his ear. "I saw it and knew I had to show you."
"You thought of me?" Tsukasa asked, breathless.
"Yes, I always think of Tsukasa-kun when I see something beautiful." Rui lowers the telescope. "Hmm, but it's still not good enough. Perhaps we should make a trip out of the city one of these days; look at the whole sky."
"Or maybe I should buy a real telescope and we can watch the moon from there. What do you think?"
Rui hasn't moved his arms.
Tsukasa, who was too hung up on the 'I think of you whenever I see something beautiful' comment from Rui, just sinks deeper into his embrace.
"This is enough." He says, tucking his head under Rui's chin.
"Is it?" Rui laughs. "I feel like I could give you more of a show though."
"Well, that's something I definitely won't object to." Tsukasa looks up, smiling at the moon and invisible stars.
"Your shows have always been amazing. But right now, this is enough. Thank you for showing me."
Rui's hands have slid down to Tsukasa's waist now, and Tsukasa's own hands meet his there, lacing their fingers together.
For a while, the two of them stand there, looking up at the sky and the moon.
"It's cold tonight." Tsukasa comments. "There's no school tomorrow. Stay over at mine."
"Hmm? Didn't you say you were going to let me freeze outside all alone?"
Tsukasa sputters. "Well-! I didn't-! Do you want to stay over or not?!"
"If Tsukasa-kun is offering, then I won't refuse." Rui finally untangles himself from Tsukasa, taking another look at the moon from the telescope one last time.
There's a sense of longing to Rui's air tonight. Tsukasa's been noticing it for a while. It always makes Rui seem lonely and far away. Almost unreachable. Tsukasa lifts his hand, almost as if he was prepared for Rui to float up and away. Over to places Tsukasa can't even dream of reaching.
Rui jolts when Tsukasa grabs his coat sleeve, looking at him, confused.
"Is something the matter?"
Tsukasa blinks, looking at the sleeve he just grabbed. "...Sorry. You just felt... Really far away."
Rui smiles, tilting his head and turning to face Tsukasa in full. "I'm right here in front of you. I'm not going anywhere."
"I know. But sometimes, it just feels like..." Tsukasa grips Rui's sleeve tighter. "No... Nevermind. Let's just go back."
Rui seemed confused but he lets Tsukasa take his hand, following as he leads them both back to his house.
Tsukasa squeezes Rui's hand.
He's always known that people don't last forever. He's always known that tomorrow is never guaranteed. But why does Rui, losing Rui, feel on par with losing Saki, or Toya?
Rui's always been brilliant, and Tsukasa was just lucky enough to witness Rui every day.
But, he can't help this dread inside. One day, perhaps, Rui will float away from him, to where even a star can't reach. That day... Tsukasa wishes it won't ever come.
Things happen, things out of their control, but if Tsukasa could help it, he'd choose to have Rui by his side, no matter what.
Rui squeezes his hand back, as if he understood a bit, without ever being told.
Stay by my side forever. Is what Tsukasa wanted to say, but couldn't.
Your brilliance should be shared, but I want to be selfish and ask you to keep a small part, of which you would only show to me.
I want to be special to you, the way you are to me.
And last,
Rui, I really... love you.
But Tsukasa doesn't say any of those things. Instead, he lets Rui walk beside him, hand in hand, as if there wasn't anything wrong with two teenage boys, walking so late at night. Telescope in hand and both looking like they just rolled out of bed.
Tsukasa looks back up at the moon, at its light and at the craters he just saw up close.
Ah... Whenever he looks at it now, all he'll think about will be Rui's arms around him, Rui's breath and voice tickling his ear, Rui holding the telescope so steady for him, Rui coming to get him in the dead of night just because he thought that the sight was good enough for Tsukasa to see.
"Tsukasa-kun." Rui calls, and Tsukasa looks. "Let's go see the stars out in the countryside, one of these days."
Tsukasa stops. Yes, Rui was still here. He was still right here beside him. There's no need to worry.
"...Okay. Maybe when it's warmer."
Rui smiles, bumping his head against Tsukasa's. "Mhmm."