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1.
“Come with me and Cassie to the mall,” Rachel said. “You don’t go out as much as you used to. Wouldn’t it be fun?”
My dad had told me I should focus more on my homework, stop wasting time on pointless things. So I’d stopped going out with friends and thrown myself into gymnastics and school.
But no matter how hard I studied, no matter what grades I got, he still ignored me. Maybe it didn’t matter what I did. Maybe I should be more like Rachel and just do what I wanted.
“Yeah,” I said. “That would be fun.”
2.
“Marco, you were right. Tom is a Controller.” Then Jake turned to me. “So is your dad, Melissa.”
I wasn’t surprised. My parents getting abducted by aliens made more sense than them not loving me anymore. But I could see my future clearly, and it was cold and bleak as ice.
“That means my mom is one of them too,” I said. “And it means I can’t morph anymore.”
“What?” said Rachel. “But we could save them!”
“And if one of them catches me morphing? What then?”
I walked away, right then and there. Before I could give them away.
3.
I still helped the Animorphs spy on my parents, even if I refused to morph. Which is how I found out about the bargain my parents made with their Yeerks.
Tears rolled down my face as Rachel in Fluffer morph told me the story. “How long will it last?” I whispered. “The Yeerks are so powerful. If they really needed me infested, would the bargain really matter?”
«I don’t know,» Rachel said miserably. «But we’ll do whatever we can to protect you, Melissa. I promise.»
Of course they would. I knew all their secrets. They couldn’t afford to lose me.
4.
«We can get you out,» Rachel said, an eagle perched outside my window. «We’ve made new allies. The Chee can protect you.»
“If I disappear,” I said, “I can’t come back until the Andalites come, and the war is over. Right?”
A pause. «Right.»
I thought about my life. The loneliness, the constant fear that I would be infested, the love I felt for my parents but couldn’t show. I would give all that up. Not exactly a loss. Especially if it meant I could fight for my parents’ freedom.
“Okay. I’m out. From now on, I fight with you.”
5.
This is what I learned from living with robots as an exile from humanity.
The Chee are liars. They don’t lie about the war. They do lie about themselves.
You have to fight to stay human, if you can’t live among humans anymore. Humanity is something you forget how to do if you don’t remind yourself. Tobias taught me that.
Seeing my parents act like monsters never made fighting them any easier.
Even when the fight in me died, it never died in Rachel. Even when hope ran out, she didn’t. As long as she fought, so could I.
(+1.)
They infested me, by the end. They had to. I’d seen too much.
Knowing that my parents really loved me gave me the strength to fight. They kept us in separate cages at the Yeerk pool, but it didn’t matter. All we had to do was meet eyes across the pool, and we knew.
When my Yeerk learned the names of the Animorphs, it was even easier. I played back my memories of Rachel, protecting her sisters, laughing down bullies. If she were a Controller, her Yeerk would shrivel up with fear.
If she fought the Yeerks, so could I.