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William couldn’t sleep.
This wasn’t a new thing by any means, but that was the problem. If insomnia was a newly manifested quirk of his powers, maybe he’d be able to fix it. Look into the root of the issue, take it apart, and solve it.
But no, it could never be that easy. These sleepless nights haunted William long before the wisps ever did.
The mattress creaked when William turned on his side. The bed wasn’t too bad, considering how Tide had pretty much put these rooms together on his own. If William listened carefully, he could almost hear the sounds of amalgamated wildlife outside. Still, all things considered, Hartawa Island should’ve been a pretty good place to rest.
It was never about the place, though, was it? William sighed, rolling onto his back. His eyes lingered on a spot on the ceiling. Maybe he could pick this issue apart. Think about it more objectively, and find a solution. An answer to the mystery. Yeah, that made enough sense, right? If nothing else, it’d probably occupy his thoughts for a while. God knows he needed that.
As far back as William could remember, he’d always struggled to get to sleep. Maybe growing up in Deadwood had something to do with that. See, plenty of kids were scared of monsters under the bed, but not many had to live with actually seeing them.
Some nights his screams were loud enough to wake up his parents. His mother would always rush to hug and reassure him. Monsters aren’t real, honey. They can’t hurt you. Her sincerity only made William cry harder. Why didn’t they believe him? Why couldn’t they see? Panic, frustration, and fear lit every nerve in his body on fire.
Sometimes he heard his parents talking in the living room when they thought he was sleeping. Aren’t kids supposed to get over these fears by William’s age? Ten is a bit old for that. Maybe he’s a late bloomer?
Slowly, he stopped telling them. Instead, he would silently tremble under the blankets, trying futilely to pretend he couldn’t see the beady eyes staring at him from outside his window.
The memories were blurry. William didn’t like to think about them.
It wasn’t just the monsters, either. His brain would flood with unwanted thoughts and hypotheticals, forcing him to obsess over them until they made him sick. He couldn’t just dismiss these thoughts, either. If monsters and demons were real, he couldn’t rule anything out as impossible.
All things considered, William never really felt “safe.” Not in his town, his body, or his mind. And definitely not in his bed.
His friends, the “Unwitness Protection Program,” were probably the only thing keeping him from going insane. The stuff they got up to was terrifying, but at least he wasn’t alone. He wasn’t crazy. People believed him, they listened. They could figure things out together. He wasn’t alone anymore.
William pushed away from that line of thinking. Even after all this time, thinking about them made him ache. Picking at an old wound would just make it worse. It would be better for them, he repeated to himself for the hundredth time, to forget.
He had a new group now. People who could tell him when things were real, people who would listen to him. People who helped ground him when it was otherwise so easy to get lost inside his brain.
Maybe that was why he found comfort in undeniable facts. William liked it when he could understand things. Concrete truths, things he didn’t have to question. He’d even stay up doing math homework or extra credit assignments until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. It helped, at least sometimes.
William looked around the room. Nope, no stray homework sheets. Graduating high school tended to have that effect. Maybe under other circumstances, he could ask Vyncent for some of his classwork. But he was on break from university, which is why they were all back together at Tide’s in the first place. That probably complicated things. He didn’t feel like waking him up to ask, either.
Even if talking to someone would be kind of nice right now. Especially if that “someone” also happened to be a very pretty elf guy. But no, he really shouldn’t.
Alright, so that was a solid “no” on the homework idea. Back to the drawing board.
After the fall, it got worse.
At first, he’d see himself plummeting towards the ground every time he closed his eyes. He always opened them with a jolt before he hit the ground. As if hitting the ground in these memories would kill him in reality.
It was dumb, he knew it was. That didn’t stop the fear. It should’ve, but it didn’t.
When those thoughts became more infrequent, they were replaced with more abstract ones. Less tangible, if you will. Haha, ghost joke.
As he’d teeter on the edge of consciousness, William’s mind would wander. In wakefulness, William had a firm set of walls in place to make sure he wouldn’t think too far in certain directions. But those walls would weaken every time he began drifting off to sleep. Like a fly in a spiderweb, his wandering thoughts would get caught and stick to one of those walled-off places. Accompanied by a hot seeping electric dread in his chest, his mind would repeat a thought louder and louder until it was the only thing he could hear.
William would jolt awake screaming, sometimes coughing and retching as the panic seized his body. Sometimes he would throw the nearest object, sometimes he’d punch the nearest surface, although he wasn’t strong enough to ever damage anything other than his own hands.
Afterward, he’d just sit there and shake.
One particularly bad time was after a fairly normal day. No superhero stuff, just the three of the Prime Defenders playing video games and messing around. William couldn’t even remember the conversation that led up to it. He thought it might’ve been about how loud Dakota snored in the winter.
He just remembered making an offhand joke. Something like, “I’m a ghost, you’re supposed to let me rest in peace.” He didn’t remember if anyone laughed.
He did remember trying to fall asleep that night. When he was almost ready to slip into unconsciousness, his brain caught on that phrase again.
Rest in peace.
Dread sunk its claws into his heart, growing as his thoughts repeated that phrase obsessively. He remembered being fully convinced that if he fell asleep, he’d die. He was going to slip away into nothing, and there was nothing he could do about it.
Rest in peace.
He grabbed his skull and screamed.
Then the room flashed blue, and he went silent.
He was still trembling, but suddenly he didn’t feel the overwhelming sense of panic. In fact, he felt… awake? He sat there trying to figure out what had happened when a little blue wisp danced over his fingertips, disappearing in an almost playful manner.
He didn’t sleep that night, but he wasn’t tired. Ever since then, he could stay awake for a whole night if he tried. It didn’t work as well twice in a row, especially if he used his wisp powers in that time. He found that out the hard way trying to drive the ghost golf cart all night.
William didn’t want to stay awake tonight. He physically could, but the silent loneliness of the dark could be just as painful as trying to sleep. Staying up would be plan B, he decided. He just needed to find a plan A.
His mind hovered around the thought of loneliness for a bit longer. This wasn’t a good idea. Following this train of thought would lead to several things that William decidedly did not want to think about. But hey, if he wanted to investigate his brain, why stop here? It wasn’t like he had anything better to do. Against his better judgment, he decided to entertain the thought.
Being alone was nothing new to William. Sometimes it was the consequence of never quite fitting into the world around him, sometimes it was his literal wisp-induced invisibility. Solitude seemed to be an inseparable part of his identity. It didn’t bother him, he’d tell himself. He preferred to be alone. That was what he thought, at least.
Then he found a place for himself. And then he lost it.
When Ashe was taken by the Trickster, William’s whole life fell apart at the seams. Dakota was gone, leaving nothing behind but a note. For how bright and loud Dakota was, his absence was the most deafening sound William had ever heard. He felt like he couldn’t move, couldn’t think. With how much grief he felt, you’d have thought Dakota had died. To William, he may as well have.
Then Tide left. After that, William couldn’t feel anything but dull pain. Maybe anger, too. It was hard to tell between the two feelings sometimes. Then it was only him and Vyncent, together in the ruins of the home they all used to share.
Oh. Right. The thing William didn’t want to think about. He grimaced, weighing the options in his head. He’d been doing a pretty good job avoiding it up until now, but unfortunately, it seemed to be relevant to the investigation of his mind. After a momentary internal conflict, William’s thirst for answers won him over. As per usual.
With some reluctance, William allowed himself to think about the nights in the ruined base.
Around three weeks after Dakota left, William and Vyncent were getting into a routine of sorts. They’d sleep in their old rooms, wake up in the morning, and try to put something together for breakfast. They would try to fix up the place the best they could, usually with the help of the wisps and Min’s magic. If they needed food or supplies, they’d alternate between going to Rusty’s and… foraging in the wilderness. Vyncent insisted it built character. William doubted the validity of that claim, but he couldn’t argue with the results. Vyncent was strangely good at hunting and gathering.
A newer addition to this routine was training with Alphonz. William couldn’t say he enjoyed being beaten to near unconsciousness by a murderous Paladin, but at least it wasn’t boring. Okay, no, it actually sucked a lot. But it was probably making him stronger (or at least desensitized to getting beaten up on a daily basis.)
On Fridays, Vyncent and William had movie nights. It wasn’t the same as it was before, obviously. The TV was broken, and Dakota wasn’t there to lie on the couch and watch with them. They had to watch on William’s phone through the tiny screen and shitty speakers. Still, it was the shred of normalcy that the two of them needed. William would be lying if he said it wasn’t his favorite part of the week.
The days weren’t too bad. They managed to keep busy enough with daily tasks to avoid falling into despair. But nights had never been kind to William Wisp, and this was no exception.
He remembered it surprisingly well. The room was stuffy, dust clinging to the air around him. He held onto his arms with a white knuckle grip, grinding his teeth while he tried to ground himself after his most recent surge of panic. The room was too quiet . He couldn’t hear anything but a ringing in his ears. He couldn’t hear his heartbeat, because he didn’t have one. The residual feeling of panic wasn’t going away.
He needed to get out.
The halls were easy enough to navigate. Both William and Vyncent could see in the dark perfectly fine — the wisps gave William that ability, and apparently, all the elves back in Vyncent’s world had natural darkvision too. Now that it was just the two of them living here, they’d often forget to turn on the lights for days. In any case, the darkness wasn’t an obstacle.
When he made it to Vyncent’s room, he wasn’t even sure why he’d ended up there. He just needed to see someone. Just to make sure the rest of the world still existed. Vyncent’s door was open; they hadn’t quite managed to fix the doorframe yet.
William lingered by the doorframe, suddenly regaining enough self-awareness to realize that this was probably a weird thing to do. He didn’t want to wake Vyncent up, but he didn’t want to go back to his room, either. He also didn’t want to keep standing in the hall watching Vyncent sleep like some kind of boogeyman. So he was in a bit of a predicament.
“ William..? ”
William screamed, and Vyncent jolted upright as he tripped over his own feet and crashed to the floor.
“Will? Whuh- what’s going on?” Vyncent’s bleary eyes were wide with alarm, ears flicking up at full attention.
“Nothing!” He yelped, trying to stand up. “Shit, sorry Vynce, I didn’t- see that you were awake.” He got to his feet in a less-than-graceful fashion.
“I wasn’t.” The elf blinked, bemused. He sat up in his bed, crossing his legs. “I think I’m a light sleeper. Uh, hey, Will? What’s going on? Why are you in my room?”
“I…” William’s voice died in his throat. He swallowed. “I got lost?”
Vyncent paused, then cracked a perplexed smile. “ What? ”
“Yeah, sorry, that was dumb. I lied. I just… couldn’t sleep.” His ears grew hot with embarrassment. “I guess I… wanted to make sure you were still here.”
“Of… course I’m here?” Vyncent’s eyes fixed on him with a concerned look. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
William squeezed his eyes shut briefly, then sat down on Vyncent’s bed. “I don’t know.” He looked down at his own hands, not meeting Vyncent’s gaze. “It’s like- do you remember when I couldn’t get to sleep? Like in Mark’s house that one time, and a few times back here too?”
William saw Vyncent nod in his peripheral vision. His voice took on a quieter tone. “Yeah, I think so. It’s that again?”
“It is, yeah. It… happens a lot, actually.” He curled his fingers into a fist. “I think it helps to see people. And talk to them or something. It’s kind of grounding, I think. Helps me feel like I’m not alone. Like I’m… real?” It felt stupid when he spoke about it. It always did. But Vyncent didn’t seem to be judging, at least. “So I know the world hasn’t… disappeared.” He forced a nervous laugh, trying to make light of the situation. Emphasis on trying.
Vyncent was quiet for a moment. William was used to these little stretches of silence with Vyncent. It was like he was lost in his own world, sorting through his brain for things to say. Sometimes he was literally talking to the people living in his head, too. William wondered what it would be like to look into Vyncent’s mind.
Finally, he spoke. “Is this helping? Talking, I mean?”
William looked back at him. Vyncent’s piercing eyes were searching his face, and William briefly wondered if he also wanted to look into William’s mind. He wondered what Vyncent would think about what he’d find there.
“I think it is.” He answered honestly. The swirling hot feeling of panic wasn’t as intense. His brain wasn’t spiraling like before. Despite the awkwardness of the situation, talking to Vyncent was calming him down.
Another moment of silence. “So, okay, I’m not sure if this is the same thing,” Vyncent prefaced, “but when I was growing up, I used to get nightmares. Stuff like my mom or the Greats or my- my dad getting eaten by dragons. Or sometimes they were about me falling off the islands. And they used to really freak me out. So I’d go crying to my mom, and then she’d hug me and let me sleep in her room.” Vyncent’s eyes were unfocused as if he was looking at something far away. “This seems- a lot more intense? If I’m reading it correctly? But maybe something like that could help you, too.” He looked at William quizzically.
William frowned. “Wait, sorry, what might help?” He wasn’t quite sure what Vyncent was suggesting.
“You could sleep in my room tonight. That might help, right? Since you said it helps to know you’re not alone?” Vyncent offered. His tone sounded genuine and… almost hopeful.
“Wh- I… maybe?” His voice came out in a squeak, and he cleared his throat to try to cover it. “Um, I mean! Yeah, uh, sure, if you think that would. Help.” William’s head spun with the sweetness of the gesture. Then the implications of sharing a bed with Vyncent short-circuited his brain . What the fuck. Was he dreaming? If so, was this a dream or a nightmare? Though his heart had been dormant for over a year, at that moment William swore he could feel a phantom heartbeat pounding through his chest.
Thankfully, Vyncent seemed to be unaware of the inner turmoil William was experiencing. “Yeah, I really think it would.” His brows were furrowed in a thoughtful expression. “Then if it happens again, or if you’re worried about it happening, you can just wake me up, okay? And I’ll be there.”
William released a breath. “Okay. Yeah. That- that works.” He involuntarily let out a nervous laugh, which made Vyncent crack a smile. William always noticed the way Vyncent’s sharper fang-like teeth peeked out whenever he smiled or laughed. A bit of William’s tension melted away. “That works.” He repeated quietly.
After a bit of awkward shuffling and adjusting of limbs, they negotiated a position to sleep in. They lay on either side of the bed, facing each other towards the center. They weren’t touching, which was fine by William. Once they were settled, Vyncent was out like a light.
William tried to settle his mind, focusing on the sound of Vyncent’s soft and steady breaths. It was… comforting. He could almost hear Vyncent’s heart beating if he listened carefully. The sound was nostalgic in a way. It was weird to think about, but William hadn’t fallen asleep to the sound of a heartbeat in over a year. Hearing the ambient noises of life seemed to soothe his brain, especially with the knowledge of the person those noises were tethered to.
William could get used to this.
And he did.
Every night since then, the two of them would share Vyncent’s bed. It became another part of their daily routine. After a long day of rebuilding, investigating, or even just watching movies, the two of them would flop onto the bed and talk for hours before going to sleep.
In the beginning, William admittedly had to keep himself from getting too caught up in the thought of it being romantic. He knew it was a friendly gesture, just Vyncent’s way of helping William with his mental state. But every so often his brain would reprocess everything at once, and his mind would be sent reeling at the fact that he was sharing a bed with one of his best friends who also happened to be the prettiest boy in all of Prime. After a while, he settled down and got over it. Mostly. Kind of.
The initial awkwardness didn’t last long, either. William couldn’t remember when it faded. It was gradual. Entangled legs, grazing fingertips, and intertwined hands when William woke up and held onto Vyncent until the brief panic subsided. Unspoken, they got more and more comfortable with their shared proximity.
Neither of them addressed it, but they started to hold each other at night. William never felt safer than he did with Vyncent’s arms wrapped around him. He cherished the way Vyncent’s warmth kept him from going cold in the night. William could feel Vyncent’s heartbeat against his chest almost as if it was his own.
It didn’t fix the panic attacks. He was beginning to think nothing would, but the crazy thing was that it helped. Sometimes he’d even catch them before they started. He’d start to border on panic, but Vyncent would wake up. Then they’d just talk. They’d talk until William felt better, then until he felt safe enough to sleep. Even when he had a full attack, Vyncent was there afterward to hold him and talk again.
William also began to realize that Vyncent might also need this arrangement more than he was letting on. Some nights, he would wake up to Vyncent suddenly holding him tighter, trembling in his sleep. He would bury his face in William’s shoulder and flinch at seemingly nothing, then calm down after a while. William didn’t bring it up; he figured if Vyncent wanted to talk about it, he would. It even kind of comforted William in a way, knowing that they were both helping each other through the night. Knowing it was mutual. They were in this together.
Things changed when Dakota came back. But on the specific subject of William’s sleeping situation, the changes weren’t too drastic. The Winnebago had two bunk beds, so four beds in total. Dakota had suggested the fourth so that when they saved Ashe, there would be a place for them to sleep. It was almost there as a promise.
It was nice to sleep so close together, William realized. Hearing Vyncent’s soft breaths from the other top bunk and Dakota’s snores from below brought a sense of security that was hard for William to describe.
When he had his surges of panic, he tried to hide them for the most part. But Vyncent often woke up to them anyway, and would silently reach over the side of the bed to offer a hand. William would take it, then hold it until he felt okay again. Then, as always, they’d whisper in hushed voices until William could sleep again.
Sometimes Dakota fell asleep on the couch of the Winnebago. In these situations, it was hard to get past him without being grappled. Dakota would reach for William and somehow remain fully unconscious while he pulled him onto the couch in a hug whispering, “ Don’t let go .” Then Vyncent, who was usually still awake, would look over at the two of them with a mischievous grin and jump onto the couch, firmly sandwiching them in a cuddle pile. William would pretend to be annoyed. Those nights always gave him the best sleep.
Once, Vyncent asked why he never just went intangible to escape the grapple. William quickly changed the subject.
Now in his bed at Hartawa Island, far away from either life, William turned on his side to face the wall. Things were different now, for better and for worse. They weren’t together as often as they used to be. They’d gone from seeing each other every moment of every day to relying on calls to keep in touch. Like many things, it wasn’t too bad in the daytime, but at night it felt like a gaping wound in his chest.
He soon found a remedy for this issue, though. If he ever had a panic attack while trying to sleep, he’d wait until he’d calmed down enough to reach for his phone.
The first person he always called was Dakota. Since Dakota was such a heavy sleeper, William never felt bad about calling. If he was awake, he’d answer immediately, so if it went to voicemail William knew he was probably sound asleep. But whenever he answered, William would open a portal and join Dakota in whatever he was up to. The sleep grappling still happened if Dakota ever fell asleep while they were talking, but William welcomed it.
William didn’t usually bring up his feelings in these conversations, but Dakota was weirdly perceptive. As opposed to Vyncent, who tended to overthink and miss the obvious solution, Dakota was impulsive and landed on things quickly. Sometimes he picked up on little details even William didn’t notice. Especially reading emotions. Even if William didn’t always want to talk about his problems, it was a gift to have a friend like Dakota who would support and love him unconditionally.
Even if it was more than William deserved.
If Dakota didn’t pick up, William would call Ashe. Ashe tended to be awake at ungodly hours of the night anyway, so it wasn’t hard to reach them. Most of the time, they’d be playing some sort of video game. Sometimes they’d gift him a game so they could play it together over the call. It didn’t really matter what they were playing, it was mainly something for their hands to do while they talked.
It was always good to talk to Ashe. The two of them had a lot in common, from mundane aspects of life to their experiences with torturous otherworldly powers. Even after the Trickster, Ashe was still the most grounded of the Prime Defenders. That wasn’t to say they were fine; William knew Ashe was having a really hard time adjusting to life post-trickster possession. But whenever they talked, they always had a pretty down-to-earth perspective on things. And in moments like those, William could always use some help steadying his feet on the ground.
Which led him to Vyncent. William groaned, burying his face in his pillow. Vyncent.
Vyncent was studying at Prime Academy, and William was happy for him, he really was. It seemed like Vyncent needed this. He needed to find his place in Prime, and figure himself out, which was fine. It was great, and William would be a horrible person for resenting him for it.
He just wanted to give him space. Yeah, that was it. Space to grow. It definitely didn’t bother him to imagine Vyncent having tons of fun without him. It didn’t bother him to think about Vyncent having his own life away from William, making new friends and going to parties and all that. It didn’t bother him, because if it did, it would mean William was a terrible friend.
God, he wanted to see Vyncent. He wanted to listen while Vyncent told him every little thing he’d found out about Prime, about heroes, about the most mundane aspects of life. He wanted to see the way his eyes would light up with wonder and excitement. He wanted to watch him wave his hands around in incomprehensible gestures when he was really happy about something. He’d literally give anything for it.
But Vyncent needed space. And William had to give it to him. So, he didn’t call Vyncent. He didn’t reach out unless Vyncent did first. And that was fine. William didn’t miss his arms wrapped around him, the feeling of a heartbeat against his chest, the warmth of another body next to his own.
Shit. He was thinking too much again. William shifted his train of thought away from that treacherous place, narrowing it down on finding a real solution.
Dakota was sound asleep by now. So he wasn’t an option. Of course, he could just “accidentally” get sleep grappled by him, but being in separate rooms made that difficult. See, there was plausible deniability to the times on the couch. That also applied to the times Dakota passed out while they were sitting together. But deliberately going into Dakota’s room while he was sleeping for that purpose would definitely be a weird and creepy thing to do, even if Dakota probably wouldn’t mind.
Ashe wasn’t an option either. The only reason they weren’t here on Hartawa island was because Mark was taking them on some kind of camping/fishing family bonding trip. William knew Ashe wouldn’t mind being woken up, but he also knew that he really didn’t want to accidentally wake up Mark by calling them.
So that left him with Vyncent, but William was not ready for any kind of conversation he could have with him. How would he even start? Hey Vynce, I know you’ve been away for a while and I totally respect that but I want to sleep in your bed and let you hold me like you used to. Yeah, no way. He was not getting into that, thank you.
Fuck it. Plan B it was. William let out a long sigh, bed creaking as he hauled himself to his feet. Maybe it wouldn’t be terrible to stay up all night this time. It was fine, he just needed something to do. Maybe something to eat. He walked out of the room, making his way to the kitchen.
The cold light washed over him as William opened the fridge door. After his eyes adjusted, he was confronted with a terrible realization. This house never had leftovers. You’d think there would be piles of beef stroganoff, but Tide insisted on preparing it fresh every time. That wasn’t even mentioning Dakota’s insatiable appetite, finishing every meal the day it was served. Thus, the fridge was lacking any food that wouldn’t be a racket to prepare in the middle of the night. William hovered by the fridge as if looking at it for long enough would change the contents, but the groceries stubbornly refused to turn into something better.
God, every thread of fate was spinning together to make him miserable. He knew these things were inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, sure. William had literally been ripped in half and brought back to life—unlife? This sleepless night really shouldn’t be bothering him as much as it was. But much to William’s frustration, his brain didn’t seem to care what was and wasn’t reasonable to get worked up over.
Eventually, William grabbed a singular energy drink and closed the door. The metal of the can gradually spread a painful chill through his half-dead hand. He held it for a bit longer than his ghostly nervous system would’ve liked, then set it on the counter. He didn’t feel like opening it yet.
He closed his eyes, pressing the cold hand over his face. It was a weird time of night. His mind felt floaty, seeking stimuli to connect himself to the world he felt so far away from. It was admittedly pretty ghost-like of him.
“Hey… Will?”
William shrieked, making Vyncent jump with a considerably quieter yelp.
“ Vyncent, what the fuck!” William hissed out a whisper, eyes wide.
“ Shit- sorry!” Vyncent held his hands up in surrender, whispering back. “What’s going on? Why are you awake? ” He was standing against the counter, illuminated by nothing but William’s night vision. Vyncent’s hair was falling over his eyes, strands out of place. He looked like he’d just gotten out of bed, but his eyes held a sense of alertness.
“Wh- I could ask you the same question! ” William accused, suddenly feeling a strong sense of deja vu. “ You scared the shit out of me!”
“Well, how was I supposed to approach you from the shadows and not scare the shit out of you? ” Vyncent argued. “I heard the fridge open. So I came to investigate.” He emphasized the word “ investigate” with a pointed look at William. Oh, so that’s how it was. First Dakota, now Vyncent—clearly everyone was hellbent on stealing William’s mystery-solving brand.
“Alright, well you can mark this case off as ‘solved,’ then. I’m just, uh. Getting a late-night snack.” He grabbed the can like he was presenting an alibi, shooting Vyncent a defensive look.
“A Recharge energy drink. At three in the morning.” Vyncent blinked, trying and failing to hide his confusion. It danced across his face in flickers of uncertainty, amusement, and concern. His voice was making a hilariously poor attempt at conveying politeness. “ Okay. ”
“Yeah, I have… plans. Gonna stay up late looking into some… spirit world stuff. Ghost business. You know how it is.” He waved his hand in a vague gesture. What . What was that? He could usually lie way more convincingly than that. Most of the time. At least a good 70% of the time. But there was something about the intensity of Vyncent’s gaze that was making William’s brain short-circuit again. His eyes were piercing through William’s very soul, leaving himself bare to the mercy of Vyncent’s well-intentioned scrutiny. It wasn’t necessarily a bad feeling, it was just very counterproductive to William’s current goals.
“William. I need you to be real with me right now, okay?” Vyncent locked eyes with him. William’s phantom heart skipped a beat. “Is it… your sleep thing again?”
William considered lying to him. He knew Vyncent wanted answers, but he also knew that he’d back off if William really wanted him to. The ball was in his court. So why was he almost feeling inclined to admit it?
Vyncent’s pupils were dilated wider than a normal human’s eyes could go. It was a quiet reminder that despite the darkness, his elf sight allowed him to see every detail of William’s face. For the two of them, the shadows didn't grant them the luxury of obscurity. They stood face to face, the only ones who could see each other in the darkness. It was a strange feeling. There was safety in invisibility, but being seen? It was terrifying… and exhilarating. It prevented him from slipping into the shadows, it took away the option of witnessing the world as an outsider. It forced him to be here. It forced him to be real.
Maybe that was why he didn’t hide this time. Or maybe it was the way Vyncent was looking at him with such expectancy. Maybe it was because just a few minutes ago, he’d been replaying the warm memories of being held so gently in Vyncent’s arms over and over again. He couldn’t say for sure.
“Yeah.” He let out a tense breath. “It… it’s that again. I couldn’t sleep.”
“Shit, man.” Vyncent’s inquisitive expression dropped, his concern now on full display. “I thought you didn’t get them anymore. Since you…” Vyncent’s voice trailed off, eyes briefly flickering to where the split in William’s torso would’ve been.
“Didn’t… get them anymore?” William echoed. Dread pooled in his stomach. Lines were connecting in his head, and he didn’t like the picture being drawn.
“Are your wisp powers changing? Like—maybe that’s related?” Vyncent looked him over, trying to find some sort of connection. Some sort of lead.
William swallowed. “Vynce, I…” His voice wavered. “They never stopped.” He opened his mouth, wanting to say more, but any word he could think of died on his lips.
Vyncent was quiet for a moment. It couldn’t have been more than five seconds, but it felt like it stretched on for an eternity. When he finally broke the silence, his voice was quiet. “We shouldn’t be talking in the kitchen. We’re gonna wake up Tide.”
“Y-yeah.” William looked away, opting to stare at his hands instead. “Where… um. Where do you want to talk?”
“My room?” Those words practically punched William in the gut. God. Back in Vyncent’s room. Exactly what William was profusely wishing for not even twenty minutes prior. If only it wasn’t attached to this tangled lump of feelings.
“Okay.” William took a deep breath. He felt like a caged animal. He wasn’t quite sure if he was being led to freedom or to the slaughter, but when Vyncent nodded and started walking down the hall, he followed.
Vyncent’s room was similar to the one he had in their old base. The walls were covered with his new fantasy JRPG posters—a welcome change from the old singed and creased ones in Vyncent’s first room. The horse motorcycle was parked near the bed, which William thought was a questionable choice. His desk was still littered with miscellaneous trinkets and books, but now it featured a Prime Academy standard provided laptop. William wondered if Vyncent knew how to use it.
The sound of soft creaking snapped William back to the present moment. Vyncent was sitting cross legged on the bed, glancing from William to the spot next to him on the mattress. Reluctantly, William took the hint and sat down, legs hanging off the side of the bed.
“I’m… sorry.” William didn’t look at Vyncent.
“Dude. I don’t- I don’t need you to be sorry. I don’t even know if you should be? I’m just… confused.” There was a note of concern in Vyncent’s voice that seemed to hold something deeper, but William couldn’t place it. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know.” A half-lie. “I… didn’t want to get in your way, you know?”
“No, I don’t know.” Vyncent’s brow furrowed. “‘Get in my way?’ What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I mean, you’re going to college, Vyncent! You have your own shit going on. You have better things to worry about than whether or not I have a good sleep.” An edge was creeping into his tone, though even William didn’t know which way it was directed.
“Then why didn’t you ask me?” Frustration tugged through Vyncent’s expression. “What, you just thought I didn’t care? You just decided that? And that was it?”
“Why didn’t you ask?” William shot back. “You seemed pretty ready to assume everything was fine. I never told you it got better.”
“Because you always told me before!” Vyncent’s tail was lashing—a sign of distress. “Will, I get it if you, like, want to handle it yourself or something. I really do! I just… I don’t know why things are weird all of a sudden! Is this really just about Prime Academy?”
“No! I mean… yes? Kind of?” William buried his face in his hands with a frustrated groan. “It’s… it’s stupid.”
Vyncent waited for a moment, then spread his hands. “Well, we’re already here. C’mon man. Just… beat the bush, okay?” His eyes traced the contours of William’s face.
“Fine. Fine. I don’t even know why it’s… like this. But okay.” He sighed. “It’s not about you going to college, Vynce. It’s everything. Everyone’s going off on their own, and it’s weird. It’s not the same as it used to be . And it shouldn’t be bothering me this much! I’m the Wisperer now, I have to be strong and—and independent! I don’t know why it’s messing with me like this. I know you’re going off to do your own thing. You’re doing so much cool shit, Vyncent. And I’m so fucking proud of you. I was just… scared?”
William ran his hands through his hair, anxiously searching Vyncent’s face. When Vyncent didn’t immediately respond, William continued in a flurry of words. “And I knew it was dumb! I knew it didn’t make sense. I didn’t want to talk to you, ‘cause it would’ve made it hurt more. I just started thinking, shit, if I can’t handle him being away from my life, I’m screwed! I should be able to manage myself. So that’s why I didn’t ask you for help. It’s not your job to take care of me. I should be able to do that myself.” Frustrated tears welled in his eyes, threatening to spill over. “Things are changing. I feel like everything is going so fast and I’m just trying to hold onto anything before I fall off the deep end. But if I hold onto you, I’m just trapping you here. I don’t want to drag you down with me, Vynce, it’s not fair.”
Silence stretched between them for a few agonizing moments. After a while, Vyncent finally spoke. “William. I’m… not great with words. You know that. So I’m just going to say a lot of them all at once to see if we can get on the same page, okay? Can you just… slow down for a minute and hear me out?” His eyes glinted in the faint moonlight, expression pained but patient.
William let out a quiet breath. “Yeah. Alright.” He swallowed.
“Okay.” Vyncent closed his eyes for another moment. Seconds passed. He took a deep breath, and then began to speak. “I… realized something at Prime Academy. Everyone there wants something. They’re all going somewhere—mostly to Watch, but not always. Then, when the classes are closed, everyone just goes home. Then I realized, everyone kind of has their own version of ‘home.’ Some people go back to their parents, sometimes their own place, maybe they live with their friends or partners. And it kind of got me thinking. I think the reason we do shit, the reason we fight? It’s like… to be able to go home at the end of the day. Wherever home is. Somewhere you feel safe. Somewhere you feel like yourself. With people you love. And… you guys are the closest thing I have to home. You are my home. You guys are… what I want to fight for.”
Vyncent opened his eyes again, turning to William. “I’m not going to Prime Academy to get away from you all, Will. If I wanted that, I would’ve stayed in Fauna. I’m trying to figure out how to exist in this world so I can be someone I’m proud of. So I can be somebody you guys can be proud of. Shit, Will, you think I don’t miss you every day? That maybe it’s a little weird for me not to be near you after being glued to your side for what, almost two years?” Vyncent was laughing a bit now, eyes glistening with tears. “You were like, the one constant in my life. In general. We were the only ones who never left. We always stuck together. I’m not gonna stop doing that now.”
A tear rolled down William’s cheek, and he made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. “Vynce, I…” He choked on his words. “Vyncent. I didn’t know that you… god, I just… don’t ever want to lose you.”
Vyncent took William’s hand in both of his. “You won’t. Not if I can help it.” He squeezed his hand, and his eyes glinted. “I’m here. I’m still here.”
William’s quiet storm of tears and laughter bordered on hysterical, but he managed to make out the words, “Yeah. You’re here.” He leaned against Vyncent’s side, squeezing his hand back.
“For the umpteenth time. It’s still true. It’s never not going to be true, okay?”
William smiled weakly, wiping his face. “Okay, well. Maybe I just needed to hear it again.”
“I’m going to make a voice recording,” Vyncent declared, “saying the words ‘I’m here.’ And I’m going to set a daily alarm on your phone so you don’t forget.”
William’s laugh was barely audible. “It’s alright. I… don’t think I’ll forget this time.”
They stayed there in silence for a while. Vyncent shifted, lying down on the mattress. He looked up at William, who hesitated before following suit. They looked up at the ceiling together.
“I have these stars.” Vyncent’s voice brought William back to reality.
“Hm?” William glanced over at Vyncent.
“Back at Prime Academy. I bought these little glowing stars. Stuck them on the ceiling and they glow in the dark. It feels like magic.”
William laughed softly. “Yeah, I think I’ve seen those before.”
“I like them.” Vyncent reached a hand out to the ceiling. William wondered if he was imagining the little plastic stars plastered to the ceiling, or a deep glittering night sky. “You should come see them one day. In my dorm, I mean.” Vyncent looked over, hope in his eyes.
William’s ghostly heart seemed to skip a beat. “Yeah. I…think I’d like that.”
“I’d like that too.” His eyes were closed now, brow furrowed ever-so-slightly in concentration as if he was visualizing it. William wanted so badly to kiss that stupid pretty face of his. Instead, he looked up at the starless ceiling.
“I’m… really glad you’re going to college, man.” William almost surprised himself by speaking up.
“Really?” Vyncent looked over at William, tilting his head to meet his eyes.
William nodded. “I mean, when I was younger, back in Deadwood, I used to think about college a lot. I think I just… wanted to get out of that town no matter what. But in another world, who knows? Maybe I’d be off studying. I could’ve been at the college Ashe is going to.”
“I could see that. Even in the hero program, there’s a lot of people who remind me of you.” Vyncent continued talking before William could process that statement and interject. “What do you think you’d have studied?”
“Okay. Don’t laugh.” He glances at Vyncent, who nods for him to go on. “I wanted to, like- write or direct horror movies. Or something.”
“Really?” Vyncent shifts, sitting up a little. “Dude, that actually sounds kind of cool? I thought you’d have gone for some sort of detective-like career.”
“Yeah, well.” His face grew warm with embarrassment. “I mean, I guess in a perfect world I’d do both. But I thought it would be… cool. I don’t know. Some way to manage my fear of the unknown more tangibly. I’d be the one in control, crafting the story, so I’d know how it ends. I wouldn’t be the one who’s lost and confused, I’d have the answers. If that makes sense.”
“I get it. I think you’d probably be great at it.” Vyncent looked at William intently, who was once again rudely reminded of how mortifying it was to be perceived and known. “Will, are you, like, actually okay? Have you just been… dealing with those panic attacks on your own this whole time?”
“No,” William quickly assured him, “I haven’t. I still, uh. I still go to Dakota and Ashe when I need to.” It felt weird to admit.
“Okay, good.” He seemed genuinely relieved, which alleviated some of William’s worry. “But… not tonight?”
“Not tonight.” William kept his eyes drifting over the starless ceiling. That didn’t stop him from feeling Vyncent’s gaze burning into him.
Vyncent rested a gentle hand over his wrist, barely grazing his skin with his fingertips. Now, that got his attention. “Will, I know you were saying all that stuff about… dragging me down. I just need you to know that I don’t think that. At all. If I can help, I want to. It’s not a burden to me, okay?”
William’s breath felt stuck in his throat. “You don’t have to say that.” His protest was weak.
“I know. But I also know you’d do the same for me. And… shit, Will. I miss you.” Vyncent’s eyes were soft, almost pleading. William felt his heart twist. “I like being with you. I like… waking up to see you there next to me. Yeah, I want to know who I am on my own, but that doesn’t mean I want to be alone all the time. So, if sometimes you want to visit, if you want me to visit you, I’d really like that, William. And if you ever need to talk to someone during one of those moments, I don’t want you to think I’m too far, okay?” Now Vyncent was holding onto his hand carefully, laying on his side to meet William’s eyes.
At first, William’s instinct was to protest. But as he looked into Vyncent’s eyes, the words he’d heard seemed to sink in. As if they were written in ink, the words settled into the pages of his mind and formed a clear unwavering image. Vyncent meant it. He actually did. William’s expression must have shown something, because Vyncent pulled him in for a hug. William didn’t hesitate to hug him back, holding onto him for what felt like dear life. He closed his eyes. “God, yeah. I’d… I’d like that too, Vynce.”
Vyncent didn’t respond at first, but William could hear the smile in his voice when he said, “Cool.” There was a small pause as Vyncent started to absentmindedly brush his fingers through the curls of William’s hair. “Hey, Will?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you want to sleep here tonight?”
William could feel the beat of Vyncent’s heart quicken against his chest. The electric thrum of life, anchoring him to this moment. His residual anxiety had all but vanished.
“Of course I do.”
Vyncent seemed happy with this answer, carefully rearranging the both of them into a more comfortable sleeping position. William’s head rested against Vyncent’s chest.
There was more to talk about. Words still left unsaid. Questions unanswered. Maybe someday William would be able to gather the courage to say more.
“Hey.. Vyncent?”
“Whuh?” Vyncent blinked awake again, having already drifted back asleep. “Yeah, Will?”
There was so much to say. But there was only one thing that felt right.
“Thanks for being here.”
Vyncent smiled drowsily, resting his head against William’s.
“Always.”
And as William gradually allowed himself to drift into unconsciousness, he realized that he believed him.