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“Coop, I don't know, man, are you sure this is a good idea?” Nicholas asked, his brow raised skeptically as he looked at the costume Cooper had put together for him: a black-and-white French maid uniform, fishnet stockings, three-inch black high heels, and a curly candy apple red wig that looked like Cooper had stolen it from a life size Raggedy Ann doll.
Cooper, already dressed in matching attire, nodded and grinned. “Um, yeah! I mean, it was supposed to be me and Payton this year, but he went to some bigwig exclusive Halloween party in Los Feliz that I wasn't invited to. What a bitch!” Cooper scoffed good-naturedly and ran a finger over an eyebrow.
“Ugh, I hate my eyebrows! Usually it's the nose that's the first thing people notice, that's how they figure out if you're from the Tribe. But for me, it's gotta be the eyebrows. They're so uneven!”
Nicholas rolled his eyes. “Shut up, dude, you have nice eyebrows. You wanna talk about some scary looking eyebrows, look no further. Jewish eyebrows are nothing compared to Cuban ones – unless we're talking about Groucho Marx.”
“Uh huh, yeah, sure.” Cooper sniffed and twirled around, enjoying the rush of air his skirt made. “Alright now, Nick, go in the bathroom and put your costume on, and then I'll help you with your makeup. C’mon, chop chop, we need to hurry up if we want to get any of the good stuff!"
Nicholas sighed and picked up his outfit. “Wow, I can't believe we're actually going through with this. Aren't we a little too old to be trick-or-treating?”
“No, I don't think so. Maybe I used to think that way, but the older I get, the more I realize that Halloween is for anybody who wants to celebrate it. Well go on then!” Cooper waved his fingers to shoo Nicholas away. “Come on, Nick, time's a wastin’!”
“Okay, okay. I'm going.”
Four hours later, Cooper and Nicholas upended their bags of candy onto the bed in a room at the Hotel Bel Air, laughing so hard that they could barely breathe. “Aw man,” Nicholas laughed, smearing mascara when he wiped tears from his eyes. “That's the most fun I've had all year!”
“See? I told you. Now, be still.” Cooper cupped the back of Nicholas' neck with one hand and wiped his face with a makeup removing wipe. Nicholas stood still, whistling impatiently as Cooper cleaned his face, taking three wipes to do the job. Cooper smiled and gave Nicholas the pack of makeup remover. “Okay, now you do me.”
“Um, okay. If you think I can handle it.” Nicholas scrunched up his face in a serious scowl and wiped Cooper’s face, taking care not to look him in the eye. If he did, he knew he would just start laughing again. “There,” he said, when Cooper’s face was clear. “Good as new.”
“Hmm, if you say so. I still think that I should have tweezed my eyebrows.” Cooper groaned. “If I think about it too much, I might literally die.”
“Then don't think about it. Shut up and sit down.” Nicholas grabbed Cooper’s hand and pulled him down, covering his mouth to stifle a laugh when Cooper fell onto the pile of candy, sprawled artlessly on his back like a turtle. It didn't work; Nicholas snorted and shot a string of snot out onto his hand. “Yuck, damn it! Ugh, sorry Coop, I'll have to use your last makeup remover wipe as a snot rag.”
“Fine, whatever! But you owe me another pack.” Cooper sat up and tore open a king size Kit Kat bar, taking a big bite in the hopes that the sweet milk chocolate would somewhat soothe his injured pride. Cooper’s lower lip stuck out in a pout, but his cheeks flushed, showing his pleasure at being teased.
“Okay.” Nicholas draped his hand on Cooper’s arm, his eyes scanning the loot: they had Snickers, Kit Kats, M&M's, lollipops, candy corn, Jolly Ranchers, and a few little red bottles that looked like 5-hour Energy shots. Nicholas picked one of the bottles up and took a closer look. “Super Rush? What the heck is that?”
“Whoa-kay, Nick, let me see that!” Cooper yanked the bottle out of his hand, his pupils wide, his lips curled in a kind of maniacal smile. “Ah, shit man, I thought I only had one of these. Um…”
“Cooper, what the fuck is that? Is it, like, some kind of energy drink?” Nicholas picked up another bottle on the bed and read the fine print. His eyes narrowed, and he dissolved into a fit of nervous laughter so strong that he had to sit down before he fell. “Holy shit, dude, really? Poppers?”
Cooper smiled without showing his teeth. His face turned as red as his wig, as red as the bottle, but when he finally spoke, his tone was relentlessly cheerful:
“Yup! So there's this one guy, Steven, who used to work as a gay porn star in the 80's. Anyway, now he's just a lonely, sweet old queen who looks forward to seeing me every year. He gives me these, I guess because he thinks he has a chance that I'll let him at least suck me off? There's not a snowball's chance in Hell that'll ever happen, but why should I be the one to shatter the old guy's illusion, huh?”
“Cooper, no.” Nicholas groaned and shook his head. “I need a drink.” He walked across the room to the minibar, opened the door, and picked up a can of Coke and a longneck bottle of rum. He held the bottle like a baby would hold a security blanket, and calmly strolled back to the bed.
“Unh-uh,” Nicholas said, when Cooper opened his mouth to say something. “You don't get to give me any shit for this!” For a moment, Nicholas felt so angry that he thought about leaving, but they had already paid for a full night, and he didn't want to leave Cooper all alone. Nicholas took a deep breath and picked up the remote from the bedside table. “Let’s see what's on TV.”
Nicholas surfed through the channels until he found one playing the original 1996 Scream movie. “Hey look, we caught it right at the beginning. Drew hasn't even put the popcorn on the stove top yet. Man, can you believe that's how people used to make popcorn? Well, to be fair, they could have microwaved it, if they wanted to. I guess even today some folks still make popcorn on the stove top? Live and let live.”
Nicholas pulled the tab off the Coke can and unscrewed the bottle of rum, taking alternating sips between them while Ghostface chased Drew’s character through the backyard. Cooper shrugged a shoulder and opened a bag of M&M's, sulking. He was mostly quiet for the next hour, once in a while talking to the characters on screen as if they could hear him.
When Nicholas couldn't stand the silence anymore, he held out the bottle of rum toward Cooper. “I'll trade you?” He said, nodding at the Snickers bar Cooper was holding. “Sure.” Cooper took the bottle and sniffed it cautiously. It smelled like nail polish. “Um, actually, I think I'll pass. Thanks.”
He handed the bottle back to Nicholas, who set it on the table beside the empty can of Coke. “Oh yeah, good call. It's probably not a good idea to mix alcohol with poppers, no matter how short they last. Which is, what, only about five minutes or so?”
“Mmm-hmm, yeah.” Cooper yawned and stretched, lying on his side to use Nicholas’ waist as a pillow. Nicholas ran his fingers through Cooper’s hair, reaching under the wig to gently tug his tousled brown curls. He could tell when Cooper fell asleep from his deep, rhythmic breaths.
Nicholas fleetingly thought about kissing the top of Cooper’s head, but that didn't seem appropriate.
When they woke up the next morning, they didn't talk about it. Nicholas took a shower while Cooper cleaned the room, and then Cooper took a shower while Nicholas watched the news.
They hadn't thought ahead to how they would leave the hotel without attracting attention, so they paid for another night, planning to slip out one at a time under the cover of darkness.
They spent most of the day watching TV, sitting on the bed in white cotton bathrobes. They drank Cokes and ordered roast beef sandwiches from room service and ate their Halloween candy.
During commercials, they talked about random things, like how a word in the Christian Bible at Isaiah 7:14 had been translated as ‘virgin,’ while in the original Hebrew the word meant ‘young woman.’
“Huh, is that right?” Nicholas looked at his phone and smiled wistfully. “Hey, my ride's here. They left a shirt and some pants for me at the front desk to change into before I leave, so …” His voice trailed off, not sure what to say.
“Okay,” Cooper said mildly, almost sadly. “I'll see you later, Nick.”