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Over the years, he’s been the topic of office gossip more than once. So when he sees the huddled group and hears the whispering, his mind kicks into overdrive, wondering what he—or they—might have done this time. But he can’t come up with anything. He and Scully have been model agents of decorum. So what is it about?
He inches closer, trying not to draw any attention to himself. While most agents know him by reputation, few engage in idle chit-chat with him. Then one of the men spots him and crooks a finger at him.
“Spooky, have you heard?” He decides to ignore the dreaded nickname and lets himself be drawn into the circle. He catches a whiff of entitlement and a hint of contempt. But his curiosity is too strong to step away.
“Heard what?”
“The Anderson and Davis affair.” Mulder has no idea who these people are or what they’ve done. His expression must say as much because the agent continues. Not after he rolls his eyes, though.
“They did the nasty. Hooked up. They were found out and have been put on separate teams. I think if Kersh could have, he would have transferred one of them out of state.” Everyone except Mulder laughs. His ears are ringing. He may not know who these two agents are, and he may not be in this exact situation, but it hits far too close to home.
“It’s like I always say,” one of the other agents says. Mulder is certain he’s seen him before, but can’t place him.
“Don’t shit where you eat and don’t fuck where you work.” Another round of laughter makes Mulder feel queasy. He excuses himself, unsure if anyone hears him or even cares. He himself doesn’t care. The only thing he thinks about is what he’s just witnessed. A team split up because of a personal, romantic relationship. His thoughts jump to Scully. To their journey toward more than friends and partners. What if this happened to them? God knows they’ve tried to separate them before. He can’t let it happen. He can’t risk losing her.
*
Scully’s eyes are burning a hole into his temple. They’re challenging him to turn and give her a sign or anything to assure her he’s okay. But he keeps his head and eyes forward. He’s not paying attention to the meeting at all; that in itself is nothing unusual.
More often than not, Mulder and Scully will doodle, share a crossword puzzle, or even send notes back and forth. Like a couple of teenagers. His reluctance to face her has consequences too. Someone elbows him in the ribs and then there’s a neatly folded piece of paper in front of him.
“Are you okay?” Only Scully would send a note like this. It’s so her that he almost smiles. Instead, and with great difficulty, he screws the note up and puts it in his pocket. He’s so tempted to turn to her and see her expression, but he doesn’t dare. He’ll crumble. He knows he’s on borrowed time as it is; as soon as this meeting is over, Scully will find him. His queasiness returns and he swallows hard.
Once the meeting is over, Mulder grabs his things and flees the conference room. He’s lucky that he’s tall and broad; agents step aside and let him through.
“Mulder.” Scully’s voice is too demanding to keep walking. He freezes and turns to her.
“Are you okay? What’s the matter?” It’s the worry in her tone and expression that gets him.
“Not feeling well,” he mumbles. At least it’s only half a lie.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” She puts her hand on his forehead and he winces. What if someone sees them? What if they draw the wrong conclusions? He bats her hand away, and the hurt in her eyes is too much for him to bear.
“I’m just gonna- going home. See you.” Her eyes follow him as he stalks off. What the hell is he going to do now?
*
The knock doesn’t surprise him; he expected it. What surprises him is how long Scully stayed away. He opens the door and there she is, holding a plastic bag.
“Hey,” he says.
“How are you feeling?” He shrugs. “I brought you chicken soup.” That’s his Scully. Against his better judgment, he opens the door wider and she steps inside, walking in under his still outstretched arm.
“I didn’t make it,” she says, unloading the bag in his kitchen. “I wouldn’t want you to feel worse.” A smile flits across her face. It only fades when she sees his blank face.
“Did something happen?” she asks point blank, crossing her arms in front of her chest. In that moment she reminds him of Diana. He’s wise enough not to mention it – even if it would drive her away. He doesn’t want to hurt her. None of this is her fault.
In the past, when no one cared what agents did in their private lives, and when he and Diana could have been Anderson and Davis – whoever they are – she’d close herself off to him just like this. She’d wanted space when he wanted closeness. It wasn’t that either of them were bad people; they had just never worked.
“Mulder, please, whatever it is, we-”
“I heard some gossip today.” That doesn’t faze Scully. What must the gossip mill be like in the ladies’ room? The men are bad enough as it is.
“About us? That’s nothing new, is it? Just ignore it.”
“Not about us,” he admits, biting his lip. “Do you know Anderson and Davis?” Her eyes grow wide.
“I know Agent Davis,” she says. “Why? Did something happen to them?”
“In a manner of speaking. They were caught and split up.”
“Caught?” Scully asks and he realizes that she isn’t grasping what he doesn’t want to say out loud.
“They were more than partners.” The penny still hasn’t dropped. “They were in a relationship,” Mulder explains. “A romantic relationship.”
“So?”
“So? I’m not going to- Scully, they were split up because they’re dating.”
“That’s against regulations,” Scully says, sounding sure of herself. Mulder shakes his head.
“I heard it, Scully.”
“Where?” Her voice is laced with suspicion and her arms are still crossed.
“In front of the men’s room.”
“Oh, Mulder. How do you even know they were telling the truth? Do you know what insane rumors are making the rounds in the Hoover building?”
“But… Anderson and Davis have been put on separate teams. I checked.” He didn’t do it to get proof. He wanted to put faces to their names. For a while, he just stared at their ID pictures. There was nothing particularly special about them; Mulder has probably crossed their path several times in the last few years.
“They could have been split up for a number of reasons. There’s no rule against partners dating.”
“How do you know that?” Scully blushes.
“I checked.”
“When?” He needs to know.
“Recently,” she admits, clearing her throat. “That’s not the point, Mulder. You’ve been acting strange all day. What does this rumor have to do with anything?”
“When I heard what happened,” Mulder says, “you were the first… the first thought that crossed my mind.”
“Me?”
“You and… me. I know I’m presuming things here and we’re not- but we could maybe eventually and I panicked.”
“And instead of telling me this, you thought you’d ignore me, pretend to be sick, and run off?”
“Well, when you say it like that,” he says, smiling sheepishly. “I couldn’t – I can’t risk losing you, Scully. That’s all. I couldn’t get it out of my head. What if someone saw us play baseball the other night?” His most cherished memory, now tainted. Just the thought. He imagines someone keeping tabs on them, waiting for them to cross the line. He had wanted to kiss her so badly. All the stars had aligned – literally. And he’d chickened out. Now he thinks that maybe it was better this way.
“What we do in our private time is our business.”
“Apparently not,” Mulder mumbles.
“Mulder, you don’t know what happened. They might have been frisky while on assignment or at work. And either way, we’re not like them.” It takes him a moment to catch her meaning. They’re not like them. What she’s saying is that they’re not at risk because she isn’t interested in changing their relationship at all. Once again, he’s been misreading all the signs.
“No,” he says dejectedly. “We’re not.”
“No, Mulder, you don’t understand.” She sighs, invading his personal space. “When we- when that happens, we’ll inform HR.”
When – not if.
“What you’re saying is?”
“Please presume things,” she says. She smiles at him before she gets on her tiptoes and presses a kiss to his lips. He blinks as rapidly as his heart beats. “I leafed through the regulations last month,” Scully confesses with pink cheeks. “While romantic relationships are not encouraged, they’re not forbidden. All you have to do is disclose them to HR.”
“We can do that,” he says, his spirits lifting. She nods, unable to hide her smile.
“And I could have just told you that earlier, but you decided to play possum.”
“Gotta add some spice sometimes, Scully.” He grins at her. “So, when do you think we should let HR know?”
“Tomorrow.” She’s in his arms, kissing him, and he’s agreeing with everything she says and does.