Actions

Work Header

Who do you think we are? The British Army?

Summary:

In a nutshell, it's 'The Champions' but the Premier League, 2024-25. A social experiment, apparently. Morgan Rogers is having none of it. Like, why is there a 'dojo' in the building when nobody does yoga?

Aka: A very weird crossover between RPF and Demon Slayer.

Demon Slayer fans: the anime characters will be important, but not THE main thing. Also, feel free to skip the first five or six chapters!

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Premier Inn - wait no, Premier House!

Summary:

Aston Villa arrive at the Premier House. Morgan already knows it's going to suck.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Well, Morgan thought, this was an interesting social experiment.

Apparently the powers that be had come up with the fantastic idea of theowing about 500 young adults and their managers under one roof. They've even found a way to make it economically sustainable, planning on turning the area into a residential resort when this is all over. They did realise that people have families. Right? This is insane. Surely only a teenager or child could have come up with this - one that some years ago, decided that they had nothing better to do with their holiday. Not that he's too far from it himself, but he digressed. As John said when they first found out about this a month ago, 'this is why 16-year-olds don't vote'.

Yet, here they were. And Morgan must say, it's pretty impressive.

The dome itself was about the width of a football pitch's entire length, almost completely made of fibreglass with hexagonal panelling. There's three floors, and a basement. Everyone was given a map of the place a week ago, but now he felt slightly overwhelmed.

"Wow!"

Ollie was already mesmerised, the universe glittering in his eyes. Beside him, Ty pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, and held onto Ollie's backpack with his other. Morgan felt rather sorry for him - apparently he was Jack Grealish's minder, back in the day.

"It's pretty cool." Lucas said, mildly interested. Emiliano beamed at the building.

Jhon laughed his booming laugh. "That looks like it will shatter with one overhit shot! I suppose it'll look cool, at least."

"Let's get inside before we run into anyone else." John McGinn, their captain, said. "Don't wanna run into any other teams before we're all cosy and settled."

So they did. It was even more expansive in the inside, Morgan decided.

"This is kinda lit!" Jacob Ramsey, his best friend, whispered to him as they made their way through the expansive entrance hall.

"Bet this is how Harry felt when he first came to Hogwarts." Morgan answered back, and they grinned together.

"Escalators." Ian, ever the stoic, commented. Indeed there were escalators in the centre of the building.

"Well done, Sherlock." Ross snarked, clearly grumpy from the hour-long drive. Morgan didn't think it was too much of a fuss - imagine playing for Bournemouth or Newcastle!

"FOUNTAIN!!"

That was Ollie.

"Not you too, Oliver - WAIT COME BACK-"

Poor Ty was left to chase after their star striker. Seriously, if he wasn't so good at scoring goals, no-one in the team would put up with him.

John shook his head and gestured for the rest of his team to head to their dorm.

***

"Not bad." Morgan decided, taking a seat at his bedside.

On the left side of his double bed was a wardrobe; on his right, a small desk with cabinets. Above the desk were a few extra shelves. A mauve curtain hung from a railing that wrapped around the entire area, giving privacy if do desired. As number 27, his bed was near the communal balcony. Closer to the door was the general area, with a TV with plenty of connecting ports for consoles; a sofa large enough for perhaps four people; a coffee table; and a cupboard for general possessions. Beyond that was the entrance hall, where the shoe racks and coat hangers were.

Their neighours were Arsenal and Bournemouth's players. He's not heard too much about them, but there's always rumours, between international breaks and tunnel interactions - the Gunners typically have a nasty temper and apparently.the Cherries are rather fond of baked goods.

Hopefully they won't be too noisy, at least for the first day. The travelling may well have tired them out.

Could be worse. They could have Liverpool.

"I won't like them nearby." Jacob muttered, voice laced with suspicion. "They're bipolar, half of them. Close to, anyway."

"Maybe they'll be tired out by travelling from London." Morgan suggested. "Cherries will be quiet tonight, surely."

"Mm."

"Settle down!" John's 'Captain Voice' rang through the dormitory. Ollie stopped whacking Ty with a pillow.

"Look, I know this isn't exactly the ideal situation, and I'm not really on board with this idea myself." he sighed. "But we'll be through with this season sooner or later, and nobody said we had to interact with anyone anyway.

"So we'll just try to survive, yeah?"

It wasn't anything inspiring and was met with a similarly deflated response.

Morgan was beginning to think that this wasn't going to be great. Sure, it's comfortable enough and fairly spacious, but nobody's going to be too excited. Seeing the same people every day is painful.

This is going to be so incredibly dull-

"YOU CAN TAKE THAT DORM INSTEAD, RELEGATION FODDER!"

"IT LITERALLY HAS OUR NAME ON IT, OR ARE YOU CUCKOO?"

Wait. Is that Jamie Vardy?

Notes:

Hello! Sorry if this is a bit of a ripoff of the Champions, but this was a crack idea that me and a sibling had. Hopefully you enjoyed at least somewhat.