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Christmas 1970s

Summary:

Carmela’s parents meet Tony’s extended family for the first time at Christmas.

Set when Carmela and the Tonys are roughly 15, Janice 17, Christopher and Barbara 7.

Notes:

The ones I’m posting recently are extra bad but if even one person likes them then they’re worth posting I guess!! But just a warning that they’re low quality

Work Text:

Hugh had rang the doorbell several times but everyone was too distracted yelling over each other to hear it. He pounded on the door so Barbara answered it.

“Merry Chris–” Hugh cut himself off because he was taken aback by the amount of arguing he could hear.

Mary stuck her head round the door because she was nosey. She looked back at Hugh with a snobby expression.

“We’re just here to drop off Mel.” Hugh smiled at timid Barbara. “We thought we’d stop by to say merry Christmas to you all.”

“What was that?” Mary acted like Carmela had spoken.

“Ma, I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, she’s sick.” Mary put her hands on Carmela’s shoulders and smiled. “We should go. Merry–”

Tony jogged over to the door, excited to see her. “Carmela!”

She hugged him tight. “Merry Christmas!”

“Yeah, Merry Christmas.” He looked at Hugh and Mary. “You too, Mr. and Mrs. De Angelis.”

“Oh, call me Hugh.” He gestured brushing off the formality. “You’ve known me long enough.”

Mary didn’t do the same so Hugh looked at her. “Oh.” She forced a chuckle. “Of course, call me Mary.”

“Come inside, come on.” Tony gestured them in.

They hesitated.

“Come on, you gonna stand out in the cold all day?”

They came inside.

Carmela felt bad because everyone was in the dining room. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t think you’d still be eating.”

“We had some setbacks…”

Nobody noticed them enter the room.

“Ay!” Tony yelled as loud as he could. “Everybody!”

“Oh, Hugh!” Johnny stood up to greet him with a slap on the back. They’d grown fond of each other, much to Mary’s chagrin. “Here, come meet everybody. Everyone, this is Carmela’s father, Dickie’s uncle. He’s in construction and he don’t just sit around all day.”

The men chuckled.

Hugh nodded at everybody. “Nice to meet you.”

“You know my wife Livia. Here’s her sister Quin, my brother-in-law Al, their kid Anthony.”

“Call me Tony.”

“Two Tonys…” Mary muttered.

Johnny heard her. “We got three of ‘em, sweetheart, but they’re visiting family up in Yonkers.”

“Thank Christ for that…” Janice found it hard enough to be around two of them.

“Anyway, you know that one,” Johnny glossed past Christopher. He was here by himself because his mother had abandoned him the day before. “My daughter Janice and my other daughter– Where’s Barb?”

“Here, Daddy.” She tugged on the back of his shirt.

“Oh!” He turned around and ruffled her hair. “My daughter Barbara. She’s same age as Chrissy.”

“Should arrange a play date,” Tony B took the chance to pick on him.

“Hello, Barbara.”

“This is Carmela’s mother–”

“You forgettin’ somebody?!” Junior gestured at himself.

“Oh yeah, here’s my brother Corrado. As you can see, I got all the looks.”

“Yeah, and I got all the brains. Fuckin’ stunad…” he muttered the last part.

“Sweetheart.” Johnny gestured for Mary to introduce herself.

“Hi everyone, I’m Mary.” She forced a smile. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Wonderful to meet you all.” Hugh’s smile was genuine.

“Isn’t he short?” Livia whispered to Quin.

“You gonna stay for something to eat?” Johnny asked as though there was room for them to fit. “We’re just about to have some dessert.”

“Oh, no. We wouldn’t like to impose.” Mary grabbed Hugh’s elbow.

“To hell with that! We’ll have a bite.”

Johnny looked around and realized there was no room for them. “Mary, you take my chair. Carmela, take Al’s. Us men’ll go catch up.” He looked at the men with a drinking gesture. “Come on, Jun.”

The men got up and they all switched seats. The Tonys swapped seats too so that Tony and Carmela could sit together.

Christopher shuffled his chair away from Tony B now that they were sat next to each other. Then he looked at Janice to his other side and shuffled it back to where it had been.

Janice narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t wanna sit next to you either.”

“What did you all get for Christmas? Carmela got a new purse,” Mary took her opportunity to gloat. “$50,” she mouthed to the other two women.

“I got a tattoo and a pack of cigarettes,” Tony B wanted to freak her out since she was clearly a snob. “Then my father put one out on me.”

“Anthony!” Quin turned to Mary. “He did not. He got a pair of shoes.”

“Look, I’ll show you the burn.” Tony B started to roll his sleeve up but the other Tony smacked the back of his head.

“I got new shoes too, Mrs. De Angelis,” Tony felt weird about calling her by her first name. “Same pair, actually.”

Livia and Quin glanced at each other because they were embarrassed that Mary might work out they were on discount.

“I got a hairbrush,” Janice was putting on a lighthearted voice but was clearly furious. “No really, a hairbrush. For Christmas.”

“Well maybe you’ll start brushing it now, Janice.”

“My hair’s curly, Ma! You want me to look–”

Tony kicked Janice to stop her yelling more in front of Mary.

“What about you, Christopher, what did Santa get you?”

“I dunno…” He looked upset but got absolutely no empathy from the cousins on either side of him.

“Jesus Christ, switch back with me.” Tony got up.

“Like musical chairs…” Livia complained.

“He didn’t get to open his yet, his mother got sick yesterday.” Tony sat next to Christopher and ruffled his hair. “What you ask Santa for, Chrissy?”

“A yo-yo.”

“I bet you got a yo-yo sitting in your house right now.” Tony was going to have to get one for him because his mother wouldn’t have.

“Oh, Carmela.” Mary remembered that they’d expected the same thing. “Go get Christopher’s gift from the car.”

Carmela got up and Livia glared at Mary from the corner of her eye because she was upstaging her as an aunt.

“See, you got two gifts.” Tony nudged him.

“What about you, Barbara? What did you get?”

“Alice In Wonderland.”

“She reads,” Livia boasted like that was a big deal.

Mary forced an impressed expression. “Wonderful.”

“My Al got me this.” Quin gestured at her necklace.

“That ain’t fair! Dad got you that and all I got was burned with a cigarette?”

“Anthony!” Quin looked from him to the other Tony. “Smack him for me, won’t you, Anthony.”

“My pleasure.” Tony chuckled and smacked the back of his head significantly harder than last time.

“Ah, Jesus! You gotta do it so hard?”

Seeing that had cheered Christopher up.

“Fuck you laughing at? You couldn’t even get a yo-yo.”

“Anthony!” Quin and Livia yelled.

Tony smacked him hard enough that it jolted him forward. “Santa got him a fuckin’ yo-yo! Be nice to the kid, it’s Christmas!”

“Anthony! I don’t like that talk!”

“You want me to smack him for you, Aunt Liv?” Tony B wanted revenge.

“I’ll do it,” Janice eagerly volunteered.

“If anyone’s gonna smack him it’s gonna be me.”

“But I wanna smack him!”

“I’ll smack him first!”

“Li, you seen my–” Johnny came into the room as Tony B was saying that. “Who’s getting smacked?”

“Both Anthonys.”

“What they do?”

“They told Chrissy he got nothing for Christmas.” Janice pulled him close to herself like she suddenly cared about him. “Look at him, daddy, there’s tears in his eyes.”

He tried to get away. “Tony didn’t–”

“You upset your little cousin on Christmas? He ain’t got his mother here and you’re gonna tell him he didn’t get nothing for Christmas?!”

“Tony didn’t say nothing mean to me, Uncle Johnny! It was Tony B.”

“You little shit!”

“You gonna insult the kid now too?!”

“It’s my fault his mother didn’t care enough to get him a yo-yo?” Tony B dug himself deeper.

“Santa’s who does that shit!” Tony didn’t want his Christmas to be completely ruined. “His mother’s got nothing to do with it!”

“Then I guess Santa don’t give a shit about the kid eith–”

Johnny fiercely kicked his chair out from under him while Livia and Quin verbally berated him. Mary gasped. Janice could hardly contain the joy she was getting out of this.

“Jesus, Uncle Johnny. I was just fucking aro–”

“Albert!” Johnny pressed his foot on Tony B’s shoulder to stop him getting up.

“What?”

“Your son told Chrissy he didn’t get nothing for Christmas!”

“And he said Santa doesn’t give a shit about him!” Janice exacerbated things.

“Will you stop already?” Tony got her to let go of Christopher. “You’re making him feel worse!”

Al came straight through. “You told your little cousin Santa didn’t get him nothing?!”

“Great, now he’s really gonna put a cigarette out on me. You happy now, Chrissy?”

Mary hoped this relationship would be fleeting.

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