Work Text:
borderline personality disorder, they tell him
one, two, three
and he freaks because isn't that something only crazy people have?
four, five, six (just kidding)
he's insane
seven, eight, nine
he's mental
ten, eleven, twelve
heartless
thirteen
OCD, they tell him
one, two, three
but i'm not scared of germs
four, five, six (just kidding)
my room is a mess
seven, eight, nine
that doesn't matter
ten, eleven, twelve
one day you will stop counting
thirteen
he thinks he's probably too broken now.
one, two, three
sure his heart's in the right place but how are they to know that?
four, five, six (just kidding)
he can't feel the things that other people feel
seven, eight, nine
that normal people feel
ten, eleven, twelve
all he knows is nails against skin and the collapse of his chest
thirteen
his mom says that he should be happy
one, two, three
after all, she does so much for him
four, five, six (just kidding)
and surely this is all about her?
seven, eight, nine
is it because i wasn't around enough when you were a kid?
ten, eleven, twelve
are you doing this to get back at me?
thirteen
damn it tyler, again?
one, two, three
what do you mean you were planning this?
four, five, six (just kidding)
i don't believe for a second that you want to die
seven, eight, nine
she tells him he's selfish as he lies in a hospital bed
ten, eleven, twelve
as he counts the seconds till they remove his IV
thirteen
and then he meets him
one, two, three
he's not stupid enough to think that love can cure him
four, five, six (just kidding)
love can't make him stop trying to kill himself
seven, eight, nine
stop trying to fucking kill yourself, tyler
ten, eleven, twelve
but josh makes him feel better sometimes
thirteen
he learns that josh can't silence the stopwatch in his head
one, two, three
he can't stop the rituals
four, five, six (just kidding)
or the intrusive thoughts
seven, eight, nine
but he can tell him he's gonna be okay after a panic attack
ten, eleven, twelve
tell him that he's not crazy
thirteen
i love you
one, two, three
tyler doesn't know if he believes him
four, five, six (just kidding)
tyler doesn't know if he can love him back
seven, eight, nine
but he's hooked
ten, eleven, twelve
so he'll try his best
thirteen