Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Just ... how much footage do you have now, Vox?” Velvette flipped through the photos and videos. It had been a few weeks since they first discovered the ‘affair’ happening between the Lucifer Morningstar and the Radio Demon. Judging by the pictures the drones had managed to snatch up, plain old ‘relationship’ could seem to be a more accurate term, but Vox kept calling it an affair, as if Alastor was somehow cheating on him, despite the two of them never having been together in the first place. It was ridiculous, but Velvette let it slide.

“29 hours, 34 minutes and 51 seconds of video, 407 photos, and 6 audio-files.”

“Uh-huh. And how much of it is useful?”

Vox's shoulders slumped a little. “This is from two days ago.”

Two days ago, he had sent the tower into yet another blackout. Velvette had ordered back-up generators installed, figuring that if Vox kept short-circuiting things due to his ridiculous jealousy, they might as well be prepared. The largest screen in the meeting room began playing the video: It was taken through the kitchen window of the hotel. The devil and the Radio Demon were standing by the oven; the video did not pick up on their conversation, but Lucifer was holding Alastor’s hand. The video jerked a little, and they both looked up and straight at the camera.

“Did they notice the drone?”

“It might have bumped into the window. I can’t control hundreds of them personally, so-”

The two being filmed had moved closer to the window. The video still didn’t pick up what they were talking about, but that really weren’t necessary when Lucifer pulled Alastor down and kissed him. This close, it was actually possible to see most of it, even with the static always accompanying the Radio Demon. The king proceeded to flip off the camera, then run his fingers through the demon’s hair and scratch at his ears. This make-out session was a damned performance, and when they pulled apart, the curtains slammed shut over the windows like the end of some old-fashioned movie.

Vox paused the film. He had been awfully calm throughout the video, and Velvette wondered just how many times he had watched the film to get him to that point. After the last blackout, she had noticed at least two broken screens being carried out of his office.

“Well, they are fucking.” Valentino said.

“They- they’re-” Vox spluttered; the calm demeanor blown away. “Alastor’s not-”

“Have you figured out which room is theirs yet?”

“It’s on the third floor, but-”

“Oooh, show us.”

Vox pressed a button so hard he almost broke it. The screen changed to show another video taken through a window. In the large bed in the middle of the room, the pair was sleeping. The king had the Radio Demon in his arms; the fallen angel’s wings were wrapped around them like some protective cocoon.

Velvette rolled her eyes. “Okay. That is sickeningly sweet.”

“You haven’t got anything spicier than that?” Valentino frowned. “Who tops? My bet is that Alastor is a pillow princess, he-”

“Valentino, zip it before Vox short-circuits again.”

“Just professional curiosity, Vel.”

Vox's eyes twitched, but all lights in the room remained on. “We got enough to prove that ... this affair is happening.”

“The problem would be if the king is truly serious about this.” Velvette kept scrolling through the pictures, studying the devil’s expressions. Amusement. Annoyance. Tenderness. Frustration. Adoration. Love. It looked like love. She couldn’t be certain, but this seemed to be more than just a fling. “Ever since Lilith left, Lucifer has locked himself away, haven’t bothered much with ruling his kingdom. With his daughter, and now the Radio Demon, he might be ready to be an actual king again. Alastor ruling by his side could spell trouble for all of us.”

“So, what do we do?” Valentino asked. “Try to break them up?”

“We could?” Vox said, sounding a little too hopeful. “Could you make Angel try and get between them?”

“As hot as that sounds, mi amore-”

“That is not what I meant, Val!”

“-Angel won’t listen to me outside the studio. Terms of the contract, and all.”

“I don’t think that will work.” Velvette said. “Do you think everyone would jump at the chance to fuck a porn-star, and throw away their actual relationship for one night of sex?”

Valentino shrugged. “A lot of people do, Vel.”

“Maybe, but not everyone, and these two doesn’t seem to be the type; the Radio Demon has never been with anyone else before, and the king stayed loyal to this wife for thousands of years until she abandoned him. And if they want to fuck someone, they already have each other for that!”

“Blackmail, then?”

“With what? Releasing the videos?” Velvette laughed. “’If you don’t break up, we’ll show Hell that you are together?’ What kind of sense does that make?”

“They have kept it a secret ...” Vox frowned as he began sorting through photos. “This is all from inside the hotel, they never go out together. The only one were they seemed aware was the last video.”

“That makes sense, Lucifer is the king. Alastor might be an Overlord, but he is just a sinner. You’ve seen how much of a scandal it can be when people try dating out of their social circle, remember all the stories about that Goetia prince and that imp he was banging?” Velvette scrolled down her phone to find an example, then stopped, thinking about it. “Huh.”

“Would that work?” Vox asked.

“Not sure if that’s enough to break them up, but we can make it uncomfortable for them.”

“I don’t know.” Valentino said. “Asmodeus is dating an imp, and haven’t had much backlash.”

“Yes, but that imp, Fizzarolli, he’s a harmless, popular entertainer. Alastor is not that.” Velvette smiled. “A treacherous dealmaker, a dangerous monster reaching above his station, trying to take advantage of the lonely, depressed king ... The people of Hell would not want their ruler to sink so low that he brings such a creature to court?”

Her partners were also smiling. That was a narrative they could spin.

It all began online, and spread from there. Lucifer wasn’t big on social media, or television for that matter. Aside from the occasional cat video, he mostly used his phone for calls and texts. There had been more of that over the last year. He supposed that was a good sign, that he had people he actually stayed in contact with now, unlike how he’d been locking himself up in the palace for years after Lilith left. Alastor was even less online; he tended to avoid anything made after the 1930s, and so his phone was one of those old-fashioned things that was only used for taking calls, and nothing else thank you very much. ‘Noisy picture-boxes’ was avoided on principle.

The fact that they were the news of the day might well have escaped them for a good while if it hadn’t been for the other residents at the hotel. Charlie and Vaggie were away on another interview to promote the hotel, so Lucifer was trying to help with the paperwork. He was in the middle of trying to make a schedule for therapy-meetings for new residents when Angel Dust appeared in the door.

“Short king, do ya know yer trending?”

Lucifer looked up at him. “What?”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’.” Angel swiped at his phone. “Yer trending, ya and Smiles. It’s all over the news.”

“All over-” Lucifer’s confusion was quickly morphing into dread. “Angel, what are you talking about?”

Angel handed him the phone, and Lucifer was greeted by a stream of words and images. There were comments that seemed be either outrage or disbelief. There were links to articles with titles like Radio Demon Crawls Into The Royal Bed. Oh no. Pictures of himself and Alastor, talking to each other, holding hands, curled up in bed together- “What the fuck!?”

“Yeah,” Angel said. “So, yer out of the closet now?”

“This is-” Lucifer turned the phone around to show the picture. “This was taken through the window of our bedroom!”

Angel glanced at the picture. “Well, yer decent, at least?”

That night, yes. But there were other, rare occasions when more intimate activities had happened in their bedroom. Lucifer continued scrolling down. Certain pictures seemed to more popular than the others; the one of them sleeping together showed up again and again, as did another picture from their bedroom, where Alastor was preening Lucifer’s wings. Lucifer could feel the heat rise in his face; that was private. All of this was so very private.

Videos began playing and stopped when he scrolled past. Lucifer paused at one, seeing himself pull Alastor close and kiss him deeply, again and again and again as the video replayed over and over. That was only a few days ago, when they’d seen that drone outside the kitchen window ... Fuck.

“Angel, what is going on?”

“It started this morning. All these pictures and videos were posted everywhere online. No one knows where they came from. It spiraled from there, now there’s folks writing articles and people talking about it on TV.”

Lucifer looked at the video that kept replaying on the phone screen. “It was that Vox-guy, wasn’t it?”

“What makes you think that?”

“This video, the one from the kitchen, I-” Lucifer sighed. “We saw the drone, and I just wanted to mess with that creep. I should have known he’d do something with it, Alastor warned me.” He scrolled away from the video to another photo, of him and Alastor sitting in the library. “I had no idea he had gathered this much.”

“Makes sense.” Angel said. “Vox is all about spying on folks, and everyone working for the Vees knows how he’s thirsting after Smiles.”

“Does Alastor know?” Alastor had been so unconcerned when he’d explained the stalking-situation to Lucifer; he’d said Vox wasn’t any real threat. But this was different; perhaps not a life-threatening scenario, but clearly skipping over any right they had to privacy.

“I showed him one of the articles.”

“... and?”

“He didn’t say anything about it.” Angel frowned. “Then he just left. Don’t know where, he didn’t say.”

Right. That was not ominous at all. “Thanks for telling me, Angel.”

“So, eh- dad ...” Charlie stood in the lobby, looking so awkward it was painful to watch. “Did you know that, well, you and Al, I think, uh, someone has, eh – people know. Everyone. Knows.”

“Yes, Charlie, I’ve heard.” Lucifer sighed. “You saw the pictures?”

“Not really.” Charlie walked over to the sofa and slumped down. “You know the interview I had scheduled, to talk about the hotel? They didn’t want to talk about that, all the questions they had were about you and Al.” She shuddered. “They asked me how I felt about my hotelier seducing my father, about Alastor trying to take my mother’s place, what I would do if he were to try and steal my throne if you were foolish enough to marry him.”

Lucifer blinked. “... what?”

“I think they accused you of having a mid-life-crises, at one point.” Vaggie added, joining Charlie on the sofa.

“I need a drink.” Lucifer declared.

At the bar, Angel Dust was laughing so hard whiskey spurted out of his nose. He took the napkin Husk handed him, and dried his face before turning to Lucifer. “Why, yer majesty, did the Radio Demon seduce ya? What, did he show off his ankle or something? What a temptress! The scandal!” When he kept on laughing, Husk took his drink away, probably to prevent any more waste of whiskey.

“They got it all wrong,” Lucifer shook his head. “First of all, I asked him.”

Thinking back now, Lucifer had not actually expected Alastor to say ‘yes’ when he asked him out.

It took a while to even get to the point of asking. Working alongside Alastor had started out as a trial in ‘not raising to any of that fucker’s insults’, became ‘alright, I can tolerate that Radio Demon’ then ‘maybe Alastor is not that bad’, and at some point, the arguing became fun, and he started seeking him out, and they talked and got drunk together and suddenly Lucifer realized he had somehow fallen for the sinner.

Once he had realized, Lucifer had spent a long time utterly bewildered why he had developed feelings for someone other than Lilith, then even longer trying to ignore said feelings and stamp them out because the last thing he needed was to add another damned painful complication to everything. It hadn’t worked. So, after a lot of unwelcome advice and opinions from the rest of the hotel, and Charlie’s insistence that he ‘ought to at least try’, he managed to get Alastor alone and ask him out. At the time, he had thought that least a ‘no’, and perhaps some mocking laughter would have helped him move on.

Apparently, the whole hotel knew at that point ... except for Alastor, so his reaction to being asked out had been to stare at Lucifer for ten very long seconds like a deer in headlights. But he had eventually said yes.

Lucifer sipped at the drink Husk had handed him.

Well, speak of the Radio Demon, and he will appear; the door opened and Alastor walked into the lobby. His clothes were bloodstained; red spots appeared on the carpet for each step he took. Lucifer jumped up from the bar seat, spilling his drink everywhere. “Are you hurt!?”

“Hm?” Alastor looked down at his clothes, as if he only now noticed the state of them. “Oh, of course not, darling. This is not my blood.”

“... Alastor, what did you do?” Charlie asked.

“I just had a little discussion with some of the journalists down at The Pride Post.”

Charlie looked pleadingly at her father. Lucifer had grown familiar with that look over the last year; Charlie had this idea that because Lucifer was dating Alastor, Alastor would be more willing to listen to him about maybe toning down the violence. It rarely worked.

Lucifer sighed. “Let’s find you something different to wear, dearest.”

Alastor shrugged, but followed him up the stairs to their bedroom.

The first thing Lucifer noticed as they entered their room was the open window. He snapped his fingers, making it falls shut, and the curtains move to shield them from any possible prying eyes. Alastor glanced at him, but didn’t say anything to this sudden aversion to daylight. He pulled off the bloodstained coat, and found a hanger to put it on.

“So. What are we going to talk about?” Alastor asked.

“Hm?”

“Darling, you could have cleaned up my clothes with a snap of your fingers, right there in the lobby, but instead you brought me up here, where we can be alone. So, I assume you have something private to discuss.”

Lucifer sighed. “Why did you have to kill those journalists at Pride Post?”

“I was merely bringing their attention to how their articles are being a bit too liberal with the truth.” Alastor put on the most innocent, doe-like expression he could manage; a mask any five-year old could see straight through. “What will their readers start thinking, if the papers are writing lies?”

“Does any of the journalist have limbs to write more articles with?”

Alastor thought about it. “I think one of them has at least three fingers left on their remaining arm.” He shrugged, opening the wardrobe. “People have managed with less.”

“You know this reflects badly on the hotel when you do things like this-”

“This has nothing to with the hotel. Besides, I didn’t head down to The Pride Post-offices until after Charlie’s interview had started. We were on the opposite sides of the city; they cannot possibly blame her for any of this.” When he did not get an answer, Alastor turned around to look at Lucifer. A hint of confusion appeared in the red eyes. “Did something happen at her interview?”

Lucifer pulled out his phone. It took less than a minute to find clips from the interview; the online crowd were working fast. “You can see for yourself.”

Alastor sat down on the bed and watched the first video. It didn’t take long before his smile became strained, and his ears started twitching. Lucifer sat down next to him, and when the first clip ended, he just swiped upwards to find the next one waiting.

“So, what are your thoughts on your father’s new relationship?”

“Thoughts? I’m just glad dad is happy, but that’s not what we were supposed to talk about-”

“Your parents recently divorced; wouldn’t you say this is a bit too early to move on?”

“Recently? It’s been years. Listen, this interview was supposed to be about the hotel, not-”

“This Radio Demon is known for his extraordinary quick rise to power, a ruthless character, willing to do anything to get ahead. Do you think this connection to the King is just one more ploy?”

In-between the clips there were constant reposts of the photos, new comments and articles. The journalists of the Pride ring had either not heard what had happened to their colleagues at The Pride Post, or they were willing to risk it all to report on today’s news. The dedication could almost be seen admirable.

“... All these people using pseudonyms, how can we best track them down?” Alastor asked.

“Pseudonyms?”

“Well, clearly no one would name their child ‘420Mayday_Slut69’. It’s so much easier for people to share their idiotic opinions with the world while hiding behind a fake name. I just need their real name, and then I can get rid of them.”

“Alastor, you can’t do that.”

Alastor turned towards him, his neck twisting unnaturally. “... Are you going to try and stop me?”

“There’s too many of them. You kill one and three more pops up.”

Alastor didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he didn’t share any more plans to go out there and tear through the Pride Ring looking for victims. At least not aloud. He went back to scrolling on the phone, only stopping when he reached the photo taken through the kitchen window.

“That drone took this one.”

Lucifer sighed. “Yes.”

“Vox.” Alastor rolled his eyes. “I should have known.”

“We shouldn’t have done that.” In hindsight, it had been such a stupid thing to do; kissing in plain sight like that. But back then, all Lucifer had thought about was, well, pissing off that creepy stalker of an overlord; taunting him with what he could never have. “You warned me about that drone recording us, and I still ... I’m sorry.”

Alastor was quiet for a long moment, as he continued scrolling. “It would have gotten out sooner or later.”

That was true. They were rarely affectionate where others could see it, and so the casual observer would likely see them as nothing more than colleagues in the Hotel-project, acquaintances, or perhaps friends. Alastor was most comfortable with touch happening in the privacy of their bedroom, so if Lucifer wanted to stroke those soft deer ears or kiss that sharp smile, they’d hide away. The old core of the hotel knew, of course, but they didn’t blabber about it. But with new guests hoping for redemption arriving every now and then, it would have only been a matter of time before someone saw something, and told someone else. 

“So, what do we do now, if killing these idiots is off the table?” Alastor asked.

“I don’t know,” Lucifer admitted. “It will probably blow over in a couple of days. We’ll keep a low profile, not answer any questions; they’ll find something else to focus their attention on.”

Alastor’s ears twitched slightly. “... is that what you want, darling?”

“Unless you got any other ideas?”

Again, there was a long silence, and Lucifer wondered what was happening behind Alastor’s smile. Perhaps he was brainstorming other, less bloody ways to fix this mess. Apparently, none of the ideas held up, because when he spoke again it was a simple: “Fine. We’ll keep a low profile.”

He didn’t look happy about it. Lucifer wasn’t happy either.

Alastor looked over at the window. “We ought to keep the curtains closed from now on.” He handed Lucifer his phone back, and got up to continue changing out of his bloodstained clothes.

It did not blow over. Over the next week, it just got worse. Lucifer quickly decided to just not go online at all, but that barely helped. Despite The Pride Post being out of commission while they searched for new, brave employes, all the other papers in and out of the Pride Ring had picked up on the story and ran with it. The Pentagram Press ran an extra issue, analyzing all the photos. Hell Times had called in experts to write about the downfall of the Morningstar-dynasty; that was truly a feat, considering the dynasty in question consisted of two people, and was still on its first generation of rulers. Even Sloth News, a paper that barely managed to get out an issue a year, came out with a new piece in record-time.

At least two journalists managed to sneak into the hotel pretending to be looking for redemption, when they were really looking for a story. Some of the actual guests were asking questions, while the others stuck to staring and whispering. Outside the hotel was even worse; people were far too comfortable sharing their opinions.

One demon outside a bar had shouted so the whole street could hear: “Listen, I know yer wife left ya, but is this really the rebound yer settling for?!”

“What is sex with the Radio Demon like?” A small imp wanted to know.

“Do you really think that demon will settle for being your consort, your Majesty?” One of the Goetia dared to ask, judgmental concern dripping from every word. “Once you bring him into the royal family, he’ll be two steps away from claiming the throne, the only ones standing in his way will be you and the princess. When she’s dead, your child’s blood will not only be on his hands, but yours as well.”

Lucifer couldn’t really blame Alastor for killing annoying journalists, if he too tried to murder some of these people. It was a very close thing; no one seemed to get that ‘no comment’ could really mean that he didn’t want to answer any of their invasive questions.

The curtains at the hotel stayed shut, but Lucifer couldn’t spy any more drones. Apparently, Vox had been content to light the fuse, and was stoking the flames from the background. The prevailing narrative from most media was that Alastor was using Lucifer as yet another steppingstone on his way to more power. After all, Alastor was a heartless bastard who could never really love anybody. It sounded very much like something a bitter ex, or not-ex in this case, would spread around.

With no real information except the photos and videos, anyone could make up stories, and get people to listen. Lucifer had been out of the public eye for years, making it all the more easy for everyone to slot him into whatever role they needed in the narrative. Meanwhile Alastor was mostly known for his quick rise to power as an overlord, torturing people over the radio, and general bloodthirsty creepiness. It was easy to see how the stories were spun.

Then came the day it reached Alastor’s Radio Show. The broadcast began as usual; with music, and updates about the hotel. Until someone called in.

“Good day, dear listener, how are-”

“What’s it like, sucking the devil’s cock?”

The radio had been on in the lobby; background sound Lucifer and the others had turned on while they did hotel business. Now everyone froze, and listened. Alastor didn’t come with any witty come-back; there was no sound from him at all. The caller continued:

“Too much for you climbing to the top with real power? Easier to get there by spreading your legs?”

“... what’s your name, d̶eǻ̴̛r listener?” When he spoke again, Alastor’s tone was dangerous.

Cleary, whoever had called in had some sense of self-preservation, because they hung up the phone immediately. Alastor continued the broadcast like nothing out of the ordinary had happened, but it didn’t take long before the next call came:

“We all knew you were a damn whore. All these years you acted like you’re so above it all, and now you’re bending over”-

“Seeing as you are s̷͊o invested in this topic, you are welcome to be a ḡ̵̛u̶est at the next broadcast. What do you say?”

The call ended. Even if had been awhile since the last time Alastor killed and tortured demons live on air, it was still what he was most known for. At least until now. A couple more calls came in, and Alastor shut them down each time.

“It’s nasty what you’re doing, getting between the king and his wife! In my day we did not tolerate-”

“Susan. Shut. Up.”

Perhaps Alastor just didn’t want to back down, or give anyone the impression he was rattled, but he finished his show at the usual time. By that point, Lucifer was waiting for him outside the studio. Entering during a broadcast without permission could result in a very angry Radio Demon; that was something Lucifer had learned the hard way. So now, he just conjured up a chair and sat back and waited. When Alastor emerged from the studio, his eyes were dark with rage. The callers ought to be damn grateful the Radio Demon was too old-fashioned to get any sort of caller-ID.

Lucifer got out of the chair. “Hello, dearest.”

Alastor looked at him. “... I assume you heard all of it?”

“Yes.” Most of hell had probably heard. And those who didn’t would know soon. “So, how are you?”

“I want to find these people, drag them to the studio and kill them slowly and painfully so everyone can hear.”

“Alastor-”

“I didn’t say I was going to do it, I said that’s what I want to do.” Alastor sighed. “I know Charlie wouldn’t like it.”

The on-air torture-sessions was one of the topics Charlie and Alastor had actually argued about, and one of the even fewer times where Charlie had won. Although Alastor said he had ‘paused’ them, rather than ‘stopped’ if anyone dared to ask. It had been scaring potential guests away from the hotel, so now Alastor usually committed violence further from home.

“They are supposed to fear me.” Alastor growled.

“I’m sure plenty of people do, dearest.” Lucifer reached out to put a hand on Alastor’s shoulder. Touch could be a risky move when Alastor was in a bad mood, and so he was half-expecting to get his fingers broken, but instead he felt Alastor’s shoulders slump.

“They called in to my broadcast; they- they came onto my territory just to – to spread lies! They think- they actually think that- this is ridiculous!”

“You share my bed. What do you think they’re imagining?”

“Not that I’d try to – to sleep my way to the top!”

This was one of those many occasions where the less info people had, the raunchier their theories became. If they had been able to see what was actually going on in their bedroom, they would most likely be bored. If all Lucifer had wanted was someone to ‘sate his dark desires’, as one paper so elegantly had put it, Alastor would be the last person he should have turned to.

Alastor pushed Lucifer’s hand off, and headed down the corridor. “I’m sure I can find someone else to tear apart; since all of Hell seems to be in on this now.”

“Wha- hey!” Lucifer hurried after him to block his path. “You can’t just go out and murder someone when you are upset!”

“I’m not upset. That is not what this is about.”

“You are.” Lucifer sighed. “I get it, alright? They’ve been hounding me too, it’s awful-”

“You do not get it,” Alastor snarled. “You are the king, and no matter what they say about you, that will not change your status. But I have my place here because of strength and reputation. Do you know how much time and work it takes to build respect down here? I am an Overlord; I’ve taken down hundreds of demons to get to where I am today. But now they seem to think I’m some sort of- of-” Alastor shook his head. “I cannot allow that.”

“Oh.” Lucifer hadn’t even thought about it that way.

“I am comfortable with being hated and feared. I do not care for being ridiculed.” Alastor’s usual smile was twisting into a disturbing grin. “I need to remind them not to mess with the Radio Demon.”

Then he melted into shadows and was gone before Lucifer could stop him.

The hours passed by, but Alastor did not return to the hotel in time for dinner. It was supposed to be Lucifer’s turn to make food this evening, and so, instead of subjecting everyone to his rather poor cooking-skills, he ordered pizza. No one had any issue with this; there was more than enough for everyone staying at the hotel. Most of the newer guests seemed to pick up on his gloomy mood, and so grabbed a box and retreated to their rooms. The old core of the Hotel gathered on the sofas.

A news-update informed them that a local TV-channel was down; apparently, several of the employes had disappeared, and some were presumed dead. The reporter couldn’t quite hold back their glee reporting on a rival company’s misery. Lucifer picked up the remote and turned the TV off.

“Hey, I was watching that!” Angel Dust said around a mouthful of pizza.

“Television scrambles the brain.” Lucifer muttered, and moved the remote out of reach from the four arms reaching for it.

Vaggie looked from the black television-screen to Lucifer. “... Where’s Alastor?”

Now everyone was looking at Lucifer. He sighed. “He left after finishing his radio-show.”

There were radios all over the hotel, and so everyone had heard that broadcast. Mercifully, most people had decided to leave it alone. Angel had cracked a few jokes, but that was to be expected.

Charlie groaned. Lucifer put a hand on her shoulder. “Look, Char-Char, I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“But he can’t keep doing this!”

“Well, it will die down eventually. People will move on and stop bothering us about it, and then-”

Angel took this as an opportunity to snatch the remote back. “Hate to break it to ya, but it’s not gonna die down, yer Majesty. The journalists might be dying, but the story won’t.” He switched the television on again. As if to further prove his point, the damned news report had moved on to a new segment about ‘the scandalous affair between the Devil and the Radio Demon’. Affair was the wrong word; Lucifer and Lilith had been divorced for years now. But still, this journalist was somehow trying to paint Alastor as ‘the other woman’.

“Of course it will, there’s always new things happening.” Lucifer reached over to try and get the remote back, but this time Angel was prepared, and quickly stuck it down his top, hiding it in his chest fluff.

“Not as long as Vox can keep it alive. The Vees are connected to just about every form of media except for radio, he can pull a thousand strings from backstage.”

Lucifer stared at him. “But- but what does the Vees gain from this, this has nothing to do with them at all.”

“Not always about what you can gain.” Husk muttered. “Sometimes it’s about making someone else’s life worse.”

Niffty appeared from under the table to snatch another pizza slice. “And that television has always been obsessed with Alastor.”

Angel nodded. “Vox fumbled that cannibalistic serial-killer deer and he never got over it.”

Lucifer pondered what would happen if the Vees were to just disappear like several journalists already had. Hell’s politics were a labyrinth of connections, and removing three big players from the board could make the card house topple and fall. Alastor had not liked it when Lucifer suggested getting rid of Vox, but that had mostly been because Lucifer had offered to do it for him; as if Alastor couldn’t handle this television-problem himself. But that was before all of this had started, maybe he thought differently now? But then again, Charlie didn’t want them to solve their problems with violence ... Lucifer sighed.

Angel patted his shoulder. “Cheer up, short king, he’s doing this cause he’s jealous of ya. Yer the lucky bastard that gets to fondle those fluffy ears.”

How did Angel Dust manage to make that sound dirty somehow? Lucifer shook his head. “This is not how I wanted everyone to find about us.”

“I know dad.” Charlie said, and handed him another slice of pizza.

“Alastor’s usually so good at playing the crowd.” Vaggie commented. “But he’s not doing so well right now.”

“Boss is not that used to playing defensively.” Husk said, taking a swig of his bottle. “Don’t tell him I said that; he doesn’t like to admit he’s bad at something.”

“Defensively?” Charlie asked. “This isn’t a battle.”

“Maybe not physically,” Vaggie said. “But whenever Vox has tried to smear him before, he actually answered, he took up the challenge.”

“Well, Smiles has never dealt with a sex scandal before.” Angel said, in a tone that indicated he himself was a veteran of such scandals. “I could give him some tips, but I’d rather not end up like all those journalists.”

“It’s not a- a sex scandal!” Lucifer argued. “They don’t have any video of that sort of thing!”

“What about the photos of Alastor preening your wings?”

Lucifer shuddered. Both Vaggie and Husk looked uncomfortable; that was very, very intimate. Those without wings couldn’t quite understand how close, how personal such things could be. How much trust was needed to show someone such a part of yourself, to let them touch you ...

“Okay, maybe they don’t have an actual sex tape of ya two, but it’s the same sort of thing.” Angel shrugged. “And trust me, with these sorts of scandals, the more yer hiding, the more interested they get.”

“What do you expect us to do then, go out there and share our private life with everyone?”

“No, but ya need to own it. Right now, they have a story, and ya don’t. Ya need to give them some different narrative to believe in, give them options to choose from. Stonewalling isn’t working, killing people isn’t working – actually yer two different approaches is working against each other.”

This was why Lilith had been the one to handle the public; Lucifer had never been any good at it. She and Alastor were similar in that way; more outgoing, not hiding away. They were both musical, showy, tall and with charming smiles that hid just how dangerous they could be ... huh. Lucifer had a type, apparently.

Why wasn’t Alastor using any of that now? Was he holding back? Lucifer had been the one to suggest they keep a low profile, and the Radio Demon hadn’t argued against it. Lucifer had thought that was the best thing to do. Lucifer wasn’t good with the public, and Alastor wasn’t very familiar or comfortable with being openly affectionate where people could see, so it seemed best to not to change that. Had that been a mistake?

Niffty crawled out from under the table. “You could make it official! Tell everyone how happy you are to be together!”

“Eh-”

She frowned. “You’re not ashamed of Alastor, are you?” There was real danger in the girl’s eye; reminding Lucifer of what had happened to Adam.

“What!? No! I’m just-”

Nervous. He was actually nervous, now that it was happening. He had played with the thought several times; making it official, not hiding anymore, and still, actually doing it ... “But, won’t we just be giving these people what they want?”

“You can’t hide in here forever.” Husk frowned. “Better to do it soon, because boss is getting more and more frustrated every day. When he gets angry, he makes that everyone’s problem.”

Charlie smiled. “We’re behind you no matter what, dad.”

Lucifer looked around at the gang. They were right; he needed to change tactics. He’d have to talk to Alastor.

Chapter Text

It was late at night when Alastor came back. Lucifer had retired to their room, but was sitting up waiting for him. When he heard the footsteps in the corridor, he marked the page in the crime novel he’d been passing the time with and put it down on the table. Alastor opened the door, kicked off his shoes, and headed for the bathroom.

“Hey, dearest.” Lucifer said, getting out of his chair. “How did it go?”

“I need a shower.” Alastor mumbled. His clothes were once again wet with blood.

“Are you hurt?” Lucifer asked.

Alastor laughed mirthlessly as he opened the bathroom-door. “As if any of those insignificant little leeches could hurt me.” Then he slammed the door shut with so much force the pictures on the walls rattled.

Lucifer stared at the closed door. Back to the book as he waited for Alastor to come back out, then. Perhaps this was for the best, a shower might calm the Radio Demon down a tiny bit, before they started discussing a new strategi to deal with their media problem. He found the page he’d stopped at and continued reading; so far, he had no clue who could have murdered Roger Ackroyd. It was starting to get a little frustrating. When Alastor had lent him the book, he’d bet Lucifer couldn’t figure it out before the end; it would be very annoying if he was right.

Neither Lucifer nor the fictional detective had come to any conclusion when the bathroom door swung open again and Alastor stepped out. His hair was damp, and he’d changed into a clean nightshirt. He headed straight for the bed and flopped onto it face down.

Lucifer left the book and chair, and sat down next to his partner, stroking his hair. “How are you feeling, dear?”

Alastor’s ears twitched. “Angry.”

“You know, Al, I’ve been thinking-”

“Congratulations, darling.”

“Oh, hush. About all these rumors, I don’t think this is working-”

“Do not underestimate my ability to kill annoying pests, Lucifer.” Alastor said, his voice slightly muffled by the blankets he was burrowing his face into.

Lucifer had his doubts Alastor could manage to kill everyone who wrote about them, especially since the average citizen of Hell was keeping the story alive just as much as the more professional journalists at this point. But he knew that pointing this out would not be welcome. “No, I mean the- the ‘keeping a low profile’-approach. I think that was a mistake.”

Alastor tilted his head ever so slightly, so half of his face escaped from the blanket. One red eye stared up at Lucifer. “What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s not working, is it? I thought the story would die down, it but’s not. We need to do something else.”

Slowly, Alastor pushed himself off the bed, rearranging his long legs to sit next to Lucifer. “... what do you suggest, then?”

“Maybe we should, well, be open about it.” Lucifer said. “Everyone in every ring knows now; there’s no point in hiding. What do you think?”

Alastor was quiet. Too quiet. When Lucifer looked at him, he seemed ... nervous? Was that what that expression meant? Despite being partners for a while, Lucifer still struggled to read him sometimes. Finally, the Radio Demon broke the silence: “... are you sure about this, darling?”

“Oh – only if you want to do it too.” Perhaps this was a bad idea? Alastor had always such a private person, he liked to shroud himself in mystery. He couldn’t really do that if he was dating the King of Hell himself, but he had never seemed worried about that before. But that was when this was just between the two of them, the only people privy to their relationship a handful of individuals they could trust, what if-

Alastor gave him a small smile. “I am open to that idea.” There was nervousness in his voice, but also barely contained excitement. Oh. Lucifer ought to have remembered; private and mysterious he might be, but Alastor was also a showman who craved attention.

Lucifer grinned. “... you want me to show you off, is that it?”

Alastor’s ears twitched. “Wha- no!”

Lucifer moved closer, taking his hand. “Oh? It doesn’t matter to you? It doesn’t make you proud to be the one demon who managed to snare the devil himself?” He kissed Alastor’s knuckles. “And here I was hoping to have you on my arm at official events, so everyone one in hell could see that you’re mine. How much I-”

“Alright, fine!” Alastor snatched his hand away; he was actually blushing now. “I ... yes. That would be ... nice.”

Lucifer had only meant to tease, but as he’d said the words, the idea became almost tempting. He himself had been a recluse for years, barely interacting with anyone before Charlie called him out from the palace and into the hotel. Perhaps getting out in the spotlight again could be bearable, maybe even enjoyable, with the right company. At least he and Alastor were on the same page now.

“So, I have been thinking, but I’m not sure what you want to do-”

“If you have an idea, do tell.”

“I can give an announcement, a proclamation. Make it ... official.” Lucifer said. “I don’t speak much to the people, but-”

“What exactly do you intend to say?” Alastor asked. “They’re going to try and pick it apart, you know.”

“You don’t trust my silver-tongue?” Lucifer smiled. “I do want your input on it, we’re in this together. You can announce it too, broadcast it.”

“No.” Alastor shook his head. “Right now, the public thinks I’m some lying s̴̬̓ļ̴̋u̶t using you to get to the top. They’re not going to believe a word I say. It’s better that they hear it from you.” Underneath the frustration, he actually sounded upset. That was a rare show of emotion; Alastor had a tendency to try to avoid displays of sadness altogether, either by pushing it down, or skip straight to anger; it was better to attack than show he could be vulnerable.

“Fine.” Lucifer nodded. “We’ll do that.”

“That’s not enough on its own, we need to back it up. Show them that it’s not just words. We should be out in public together. Some say seeing is believing, and they need to see us. See that we are not hiding.”

“That’s true.” Lucifer conjured up a white rose out of thin air, and held it out. “So, Alastor, will you go out with me?” He sounded far more confident than he had the first time he’d asked.

And this time, Alastor did not freeze up and stare at him in confusion. He frowned slightly, and cocked his head. “... Lucifer, we’ve been dating for almost a year.”

“I mean, somewhere out there. On a date.”

“Ah.” Alastor took the rose. “Then I do accept. What did you have in mind?”

“... uhm, I’ll figure it out.”

They had date nights, but they all took place within the walls of the hotel. A date could be anywhere; there was nothing wrong with finding an empty room where they’d share a meal, a drink and a dance, away from prying eyes. But meeting up outside, for a coffee, a movie, or dinner at a restaurant? They had done none of those things.

“Right now, the whole Pride Ring is buzzing with this. I’m sure Vox will find some way to make it uncomfortable for us out there, and, well, I don’t want that. I want our first night out together to be ... special.”

Alastor laughed, and kissed his cheek. “What a romantic you are, darling.” He put the rose into the water glass on the bedside table. “But I hope you figure it out quickly, before this ridiculousness gets even worse.”

Sometimes, magic was the best way to solve problems. Not always; in fact, it could often cause more problems than solve them, but hopefully, that wouldn’t be the case this time. Vox and his damned stalking could make problems for them in the Pride Ring, true. But the Pride Ring was not the only ring of hell; there were six other rings where dates could happen, and a sinner like Vox would not be able to follow.

The only problem was that Alastor was a sinner, too, and should technically not be able to leave Pride. Technically. But Lucifer was the Sin of Pride, the literal devil, with pure angelic power and several thousand years of practice in magic. Surely, that little rule of sinners not being able to leave the Pride Ring could be bent ever so slightly. The gossip had already spread to all the other rings, but seemingly not with quite the same intensity. Angel Dust was right; they needed to show their side of the story, build their own narrative. The question was; would it work? Even if they changed their tactics, it was no guaranty that people would believe their version of the story. But at least in the other rings, Vox would not be able to influence which direction the stories went.

In the palace, Lucifer’s work desk was filled with so many scrolls and books that several of them had fallen to the floor. It had taken hours and hours, but he had figured out a way to do it. The spell was almost similar for each ring, and as he went down the list of each one, he wondered which would be the best choice.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

The sudden, loud voice in the silence made Lucifer nearly jump out of his chair. He turned around, half expecting some enemy ready to attack, only to see that Asmodeus, the Sin of Lust, had appeared in the room.

Lucifer stared at him. He hadn’t seen his fellow Sin in years. “Asmodeus? What are you doing here?”

All three of Asmodeus’ faces frowned. “The Lust Ring is mine, Luci. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that someone was meddling with magic that could bring sinners into my territory?”

Ah. Perhaps Lucifer should have anticipated something like this. The Sins were closely tied to their ring and all the magic and mysteries within it. He’d thought no one would notice him poking around the barriers between them, but clearly, he was wrong. Asmodeus was the first one to actually show up, though. Lucifer had tried out the magic for Gluttony and Sloth, and he hadn’t seen the respective Sins of those rings appearing in his room yet. Perhaps it was only a matter of time.

“I’m just trying out a few spells, for travel between the different rings. Don’t worry, I’m not trying to encroach on your territory; there won’t be any invasion of sinners coming down there.”

Asmodeus shrugged. “I’m not worried about that. No, this is the problem.” He pulled an issue of Lust Ring News out of his pocket and slapped it onto the table. “I had to find out about this through the papers!” The headline of the newspaper was ‘The Scandalous Salacious Secrets of the Devil’. “I haven’t- no, none of us has seen you for years, you never show up in court, you’ve just been holed up in your palace, no texts, no calls, nothing! Then all of a sudden, you’re dating someone! Why didn’t you tell any of us, Luci!?”

Why? Because he could barely talk to anyone for years, that was why. Lucifer had been close with his fellow Sins, once. In way, they had filled a space left open like a gaping wound; the space belonging to the angels he’d called friends and family back in Heaven. But as he sank deeper into depression, they had spoken less and less. Some of them had reached out in the beginning, but after all, there were only so many times they could meet a locked palace door before they stopped asking for him. The other Sins had their duties, they were responsible for their own rings. He’d let them do their thing; they didn’t need his guidance, no one had really needed him ... At least that was what it had felt like.

Lucifer sighed. “Listen, Ozzie, I just-”

“Just how long were you going to keep this a secret?”

“I don’t know! None of this was supposed to happen!” Lucifer picked up the newspaper and waved it in Asmodeus’ face. “We didn’t want our private life uploaded on the net, discussed in every newspaper, twisted into some fucked up story, I can’t go outside without someone harassing me-”

Asmodeus looked at him. “You’ve had a hard day.”

“Try a hard week!”

“Alright, alright.” Asmodeus held a hand up. “I’ll forgive you, but that’s on one condition.”

Keeping his dating life private wasn’t really anything that warranted forgiveness, but he had been snooping around for ways to sneak someone into the Lust Ring without asking. Lucifer sighed: “And that is?”

Asmodeus pulled up a chair beside the table, and made drinks appear on out of thin air. “That we sit down and catch up.”

Lucifer took the drink Asmodeus held out for him. “Alright, then. How are you? You’ve met someone, I heard?”

He hoped that question would steer the conversation away from his own dating life, and that seemed to work; Asmodeus started gushing about ‘Froggie’ immediately. Lucifer had only recently learned about this new development; he might have missed it completely if not for Angel Dust and other guests leaving various issues of Hell’s gossip magazines around the hotel. Apparently, fans of both Asmodeus and the clown Fizzarolli had been speculating about a relationship for months. He helped the monologue of adoration continue by repeating variations on ‘tell me more’, ‘really?’ and ‘sounds amazing’.

“So, you work together? How are things in your Ring now?”

“Spectacular. Lust is wonderful this time of year, or any time of year, really. Business is booming, everyone’s always thirsty for new experiences.”

“That’s great, Ozz. I’m happy for you.” Lucifer meant it. He ought to get back in touch with the other Sins. He’d moved from the palace to the hotel, expanded his social circle. It had gone fine so far; he could try pushing himself a bit more.

“You should visit sometime. Bring your boyfriend.” Asmodeus grinned.

“I don’t really ...” Lucifer sighed; the distraction had only lasted so long.

“That’s why you’re tinkering with this magic, isn’t it? I’m not an idiot, Luci. You’re dating a sinner, and suddenly you’re very interested in bringing a sinner to my ring? Not that I blame you, it is the number one place to spice up your relationship.”

“That’s not why, and I’m not even sure if we’ll be going to your-”

“Oh? Your nights are already full of pleasure? Wanna share any dirty details?”

“No.”

“At least tell me how you met him.”

“... he started working with Charlie on her hotel project-”

“You’re fucking your daughter’s friend?”

Lucifer spat out the rest of his drink. “Wha- it’s not like that!”

Asmodeus laughed. “How old is this guy?”

“He’d been dead for 90 years, Ozzie.” Lucifer frowned. “I am older than humanity, that makes if slightly difficult to meet people my own age.” He hadn’t even thought much about the age difference. Alastor was an adult, he could make his own terrible decisions, it wasn’t like Lucifer was robbing any cradle. A grave, perhaps, but not a cradle.

“I’m just curious, Luci.” Thankfully, Asmodeus didn’t dig any deeper; perhaps he realized how hypocritic that would be. “I want to know what sort of person he is.” The tone was ... gentle. Too gentle; the teasing had disappeared, instead it sounded almost like-

“You’re worried?” That rankled him, if only because Lucifer was pretty sure what sort of worries Asmodeus had. He picked up the paper and started reading past the lurid headline; the rest of the article followed suit. Apparently, Alastor had used his demonic charm to seduce Lucifer, sinking his fangs into him with the goal of sucking him dry (metaphorically and literally). It was astonishing what graphic speculations the journalists had managed to make out of photos where the two of them didn’t do anything past actual sleeping in the same bed.

Lucifer looked from the paper to Asmodeus. “... do you believe this?”

“I haven’t heard from you in years. After Lilith left, you just walled yourself in, and then this out of nowhere. I know better than anyone how sudden passion can strike, but ...” Asmodeus sighed. “You’re my friend. I’m allowed to be worried about you. ... So, I came here to get the news from the actual source.”

“None of this is true.” Lucifer threw the paper away, and Asmodeus grabbed it. “This is all because of some damn stalker that can’t get over Alastor turning him down years ago, and now he’s spread all these pictures everywhere.”

Asmodeus frowned. “Stalker?”

“Yes. He’s been collecting all of this, and once the photos were out there, the media got hold of it. Now everyone is running all these stories, and they’re painting Alastor as some- some-”

“I see. Now, this is what we do with these, then.” With a warm breath of flames, Asmodeus set the newspaper on fire. After a few seconds, the paper was nothing more than ash. With a wave, he filled Lucifer’s drink up again. “You can tell me the real story. What is he like, your Alastor?”

Your Alastor. The words made Lucifer feel warm inside. He took a sip of his new drink. Asmodeus leaned back in his chair, waiting. This wasn’t one of those damn journalists or prying people on the street; this was a friend. An old friend, and perhaps they had been out of touch for a while, but still; a friend. Someone in his corner. They were trying to build their own narrative. Perhaps Lucifer could start here, by telling the actual truth.

“What’s Alastor like?” Lucifer smiled. “He’s infuriating.”

Asmodeus laughed.

“I couldn’t stand him at first. He was ...  he was so close to Charlie, and it felt like he was taking my place. And he detested me; he likes to be the most powerful demon in the room, and wasn’t keen on the literal devil showing up and upstaging him. When I moved in to the hotel – oh, we would argue, insult each other, he would seek me out just to annoy me.” It felt ... good to say it. Everyone at the hotel already knew, they had been there through the rollercoaster, so Lucifer had never actually told the story to anyone before. “Before I came to the hotel, everything seemed so ... gray. Dull. Like nothing mattered. Charlie helped pull me out of it, but somehow ... Alastor helped too. He challenged me, he made me feel alive.”

“Love and hate can be two sides of a coin. I’ve seen it happen before.”

“It wasn’t quite like that, like some switch flipping from one day to the next. It was just ... we started to tolerate each other, and then ... we began to enjoy each other’s company. He can be so charming when he wants to, but to actually get to know him can be so hard, he has all these walls built up under his smile. He can be kind, but good luck making him admit that. He’s- he’s smart and brave and funny. Stubborn and proud and dangerous.” He was gushing now, it felt embarrassing, but he kept going. “I thought I was gaining a very strange friend, but it turned out I – I wanted something more than that. I didn’t think I could fall in love again, after ... but it happened anyway.”

Asmodeus smiled. “What does he look like?”

“You’ve seen the photos, haven’t you?”

“None of them are any good, I can’t see his face properly.”

Alastor’s shield of static and interference had made sure of that. He never let that drop these days, not even for Lucifer. “He doesn’t like cameras. He much prefers the radio.”

“You don’t have one picture?”

Lucifer hesitated, glancing at the sketchbook he carried around with him; it lay on the table next to his phone. One digital gallery for his friends and family, and an old-fashioned sketchbook for Alastor. He picked up the book, and held it out. “Do not go blabbering about this, alright? I’m serious. This ... is meant to be for my eyes only.”

Asmodeus nodded, and took the book, opening it to find the portrait Lucifer had painted a month earlier.

“Oh, Luci, he’s so cute!”

“Never let him hear you say that, he’s got sharp teeth.”

“Ooh, kinky?”

“Ozz, please.” Lucifer held out his hand, and got the sketchbook back, flipping through it. The painting was the first and most detailed, but there were a few sketches too. As long as he asked first, and Alastor got to see the finished result, sketches were allowed. Unlike photos.

Asmodeus leaned forward; his tone almost serious again. “So, where do you want to go? Ozzie’s is the biggest nightclub in the Lust Ring, and since the owner is yours truly, I can get you the best table.”

“I don’t think so.”

“No? What about Chains of Love? They have shibari-nights on Saturdays. Or the XXX Stage, their shows are interactive, that would be a memorable evening.”

Lucifer closed the sketchbook and put it away. “Listen, I’m not even sure we’ll go to the Lust Ring, I’ve been trying out several-”

“WHAT!?” Asmodeus flew out of the chair, heads flaming. “Luci, you’re taking him out on a date, what place would be better!? The Lust Ring is the place for that! It is filled with clubs that will stoke the passion, bring out the sexual tension-”

“Exactly. I’ve been to Ozzie’s and XXX Stage, people have sex under the tables there. I don’t want to make Alastor uncomfortable.”

“Uncomfortable?” Asmodeus shrank down. “He’s a bit of a prude, your man? Oh, Luci, please don’t tell me you’re waiting till marriage.”

“Whatever we do in our bedroom is our own business.”

“... Oh. I see.” Asmodeus thought for a moment. “So, you’re looking for romance, rather than sex?”

“Yes-”

“Entertainment?”

“He loves music, as long as it’s not too modern. But we-”

“Food?”

“Raw meat is a favorite. He dabbles in cannibalism.” Lucifer half hoped that revelation would make Asmodeus back off. But the Sin of Lust did not seem shocked, just nodded like that was another piece of information. “Alastor is not afraid to try new tastes, so I was thinking of asking Bee if there’s any place-”

Asmodeus put a heavy hand on his shoulder. “No, no, you’re not going to her ring, you’re coming to mine.”

“Ozz, I just told you-”

“Everyone is welcome in Lust, Luci. We cater to everyone’s taste, even if it is vanilla.”

And then, before Lucifer could say anything more, Asmodeus vanished into thin air.

The very next day, a succubus arrived at the hotel, with a package for Lucifer. Thankfully, no one was around to see her batting her eyelashes and wishing him ‘good luck’ in a sultry voice. He did not need the rumors to get a new ridiculous twist.

The package was filled with maps over places, menus to restaurants, tickets to shows, and several lists about ‘Most PG-13 Bars in the Lust Ring’ and ‘Places Where You Keep Your Clothes On’. There were even a couple of books with titles like ‘The Importance of Romance in a Sexual Relationship’ and ‘Not on the First Date, and other Human Hang-Ups’. Asmodeus had clearly put in a lot of thought into convincing Lucifer that the Lust Ring truly was the only correct option for a first date. Lucifer went through all the recommendations, and made plans accordingly, trying his best to calm the nervousness he was feeling. In the evening, he hid the package away, and sat down with Alastor to make the official announcement.

“So, dearest ...” Lucifer asked when they had put away the finished work and began to get ready for bed. “Are you free tomorrow evening?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I want to take you somewhere.”

Alastor shrugged. “Hm. I think I can find room in my busy schedule.”

“I’d be ever so grateful if you could.” Lucifer smiled, knowing full well that Alastor would have no problem rearranging all his tasks and appointments if he truly wanted to. “If you are free, meet me in the lobby at six o’clock.”

The next morning, Alastor was no where to be seen when Lucifer woke. He’d snuck out of the bed without so much as a good morning-kiss. When Lucifer asked for him at breakfast, Niffty piped up that Alastor had left early, saying he had some things he needed to do.

“Let’s hope he’s not set his sights on yet another newspaper.” Vaggie said, shaking her head.

“He didn’t say anything of that sort to me. I don’t think he will, we’re changing tactics about ... that.” Lucifer said, pouring some coffee. “I’m going to make an official announcement about it, so, well – uh-.”

“What kind of announcement, dad?” Charlie asked, smiling.

“Please don’t say you’re proposing to him.” Husk groaned.

“Huh? No, that’s too- I mean-”

“But you are gonna, oh, what do they say, declare yer intentions, is that it, yer majesty?” Angel asked, wiggling his eyebrows. “Take back the narrative?”

“Something like that.” Lucifer mumbled into his coffee. “Aaand Alastor and I will be gone tonight, so don’t wait up.” He said it all quickly, hoping to get it out there with minimal fuss, but Charlie, Niffty and Angel immediately demanded to know where they were going, and what they would be doing. The next thing Lucifer knew, he was dragged out of the kitchen and into his bedroom for a spontaneous make-over.

“You really don’t need to do this. I can handle this on my own-”

“Clearly you can’t.” Angel opened Lucifer’s closet and started going through every single outfit, tossing some on the bed and some on the floor. A few were deemed worthy and hung up on the closet door. “Yer telling me you were going on the date in that!?”

“What’s wrong with this? I wear it almost every day.”

Angel groaned. “Charlie, please set yer father straight. Well, not straight, just – oh, you know what I mean.”

Charlie, his sweet, mild, kind Charlie grabbed Lucifer by the shoulders, looked him in the eyes, and with a slightly deranged smile and said: “Dad. We’re here to help you.”

“I-”

“The first date is important; you need to actually put some thought into what you’re wearing.”

“Char-Char, it’s not really the first date, Alastor and I-”

“First ‘official out there’-date, then.” The intense smile did not leave. Did she pick that up from Alastor somehow? It was terrifying. “You are going to look great, don’t worry.”

“Kiddo, I- AUGH!” Someone yanked at his hair. Looking up, Lucifer spotted Niffty balancing on chair next to him with too many brushes in her arms. Meeting his eyes, she grabbed his shirt, pulled him into the chair, and started what felt like some kind of torture.

“Hey! Niffty, what the- FUCK!”

“Sit still; I’m fixing your hair. You’re the ultimate bad boy, you need to look like it.”

“Why aren’t you subjecting Alastor to this?”

“Because he’s not here right now.” Angel answered, as he began to pull various make-up products out from his chest fluff. “That might be why he vacated the premises. If we see him, we’ll grab him.”

Charlie started going through all of Lucifer’s shoes and boots, holding them up to see if they fit any of the outfits Angel had picked out. Lucifer sighed, and resigned himself to his fate.

It took quite a while before Lucifer’s hair, face, outfit, and general attitude towards this first ‘official out there’-date was deemed acceptable, and he managed to escape to the palace. Alastor had not returned to the hotel so far, and Lucifer hoped for his sake that he stayed far away until six o’clock, lest he too be subjected to what Lucifer had to endure.

The good thing about the make-over was that at least Lucifer would look respectable when he made his first official announcement in years. It had been so long since he did anything of the sort; years since he sought out the room with the spells needed for it. When he opened the door and stepped inside, he left footprints in the dust on the floor. The crystal ball in the center of the room looked dull after years of no use, but when he touched it, it began to glow.  

These days, most of Hell got their news from TV-stations, newspapers or the net. New technology arrived in down here soon after their appearance on earth, alongside sinners with new ideas.  But the kingdom of Hell had existed long before that, and back then magic had been more effective than messengers and carrier pigeons. Spells could give a message to anyone, all over hell, no matter how far away they were.

Feeling the old magic wake up, Lucifer wished he had Alastor next to him. They had discussed it, but seeing as so many of the rumors were about how ‘the Radio Demon was using his charms to manipulate and whisper in the king’s ear’, they’d figured it be best if Lucifer did this by himself. He could see himself reflected in the crystal. That was what the rest of Hell would see; the image would appear in every home, every street, wherever anyone could watch and listen. Lucifer cleared his throat.

“Greetings, citizens of Hell. This is your king speaking to you.”

Did that sound right? Was it weird? Lilith had usually been the one giving official statements, sharing her songs and encouragements with the people. Lucifer had never gotten used to it. He glanced down at his notes, and continued.

“I am here to make an official statement, in response to the rumors that has been circulating this week. I, Lucifer Morningstar, am romantically involved with Alastor, the sinner known as the Radio Demon. We have been in a committed relationship for almost a year now. As your king, I am a public figure, but I also have the right to a private life. As does my partner. Speculations on the nature of our relationship are not welcome; we are, as so many here in Hell, trying to find happiness. We have found it with each other.”

That was supposed to be the end of the message, but now that he’s said it out loud, it suddenly felt like a too abrupt finish. “So – eh. Thank you for your time.”

Lucifer managed to break the spell before he could bang his head on the crystal ball. Oh, sure, that had really sounded like a guy who knew what he was doing. He took up his phone, hesitating a moment before going online. What would people say about this? Had it been the right choice? He barely had time to read the first comments appearing before he got an incoming call. He spent the next half-hour on the phone with Bee as she berated him for ‘not telling any of us about this before,’ squeed that he ‘was finally putting himself out there again’ and a flood of questions for when she could meet Alastor in person. When the conversation finally ended, Lucifer also had two missed calls from Leviathan, and several messages from Mammon.

At half past five, Lucifer was pacing in the lobby. Guests and staff wandered back and forth, those in the know wishing him good luck. Niffty tried to have another go at his hair, until Vaggie pulled her away with the promise a new bug-nest to eradicate. With few other distractions, Lucifer began checking his phone again; the net was blowing up with comments about his announcement, and every TV-channel still in business had jumped in to give their takes. The discussions raged back and forth. When he passed by the bar for the tenth time, the phone was suddenly snatched out of his hands. Lucifer looked up to see Husk put the phone on the top shelf behind the bar, next to the whiskey.

“Hey!”

“Your muttering is driving me crazy. Calm. Down.”

“Give me my phone.”

“You’ll get it when you leave for your date.”

Lucifer stared at him. Husk was no match for a fallen angel, Lucifer could get the phone back if he wanted to ... instead he slumped over at the bar. A glass was pushed towards him. The liquid tasted of apples, and not much else. Lucifer frowned. “There’s no alcohol in this.”

“No.”

“I can handle a drink.”

“You’re way too nervous. You were just making it worse reading what they say about you, and if you start drinking now, you’re going to make an ass out of yourself before you’re out the door.” Husk said, belatedly adding: “Your majesty.”

Damn it, he had a point. Lucifer sat quietly, sipping his drink. Husk took a swig of his own bottle, which clearly contained actual alcohol. “Now then; tell the bartender what troubles you.”

“Why do you care?”

“You make my boss happy. And him being happy, is better for everyone.” Husk shrugged. “So, what’s the problem?”

Lucifer sighed. “... I haven’t been out there for years; I’m not used to being out in public. Hell, I was never any good at it. Lilith was always so much better at dealing with the people than I am. This happened so fast, and, I – damn it.” He drained the rest of the apple juice. “I just don’t want to fuck this up, the media has made us look ridiculous enough as it is. I don’t want Alastor to see what a mess I am, I-”

“Alastor knows you’re a mess. And he still wants to date you. Trust me, if he didn’t want to, you would know.” Husk shrugged. “It will be fine, your majesty. You are kissing the Radio Demon on a near-daily basis, that makes you a far braver man than most of us down here. Use some of that bravery tonight.”

Lucifer wasn’t sure what to say to that. There was some truth to it. But before he could voice any thoughts, the clock in the lobby struck six. The shadows crept in from the corners, gathering the middle of the room, and Alastor materialized.

Suddenly, Lucifer felt grateful that the others had forced him to change his clothes and fix his hair. It would have been beyond awkward if he’d showed up in an every day outfit, because Alastor had clearly put in effort. The suit he was wearing looked brand new; still his signature red, but with fine white embroideries, matching the white west with red embroideries barely visible underneath. The white rose Lucifer ha conjured up when he’d asked him out was pinned to his lapel. Alastor never wore any white. Perhaps it was to match the rose, or Lucifer himself.

It wasn’t until Husk nudged him and handed him his phone back, that Lucifer realized he had been sitting there staring and not saying a word to his date. “Oh! Eh-” He stumbled down from the chair and hurried over. “You look stunning, dearest.”

Alastor’s smile grew bigger. “Thank you, darling. You don’t look bad yourself.”

The sight of that smile quelled at least some Lucifer’s nerves. He could do this. “Shall we go?” He held his hand out, and Alastor took it. The next moment, gold and red spun around them to carrying them away from the hotel.

Chapter Text

The Lust Ring was bright. Even at night, the neon signs lit up the city, painting the buildings in every color. The streets were damp from the rain, and the small puddles created even more reflections of the many lights. There were people everywhere. Waiting to get into clubs, making out on street corners, chatting with friends. When Lucifer and Alastor appeared on the main street, several eyes turned towards them. Some succubi pointed and whispered, and a few got out their phones to take pictures. Lucifer took a deep breath; he knew this could happen. The whole point of going out in public was to be seen. He did not let go off Alastor’s hand.

The Radio Demon was more focused on the place than the people watching them.

Alastor looked from one unfamiliar building to another. “Where are we?”

“In the Lust Ring.”

“The-” Alastor spun around and stared at him. “But how? I’m-”

“Just a little angelic magic.” Lucifer smiled, wiggling his fingers. “Enough to bring you out of the Pride Ring, so we could have some time to ourselves.”

“Ah. I- I see. You are full of surprises, darling.”

The flashes of cameras were easily lost in all the other lights, and no one actually approached them; the people of the Lust Ring were just watching. Music poured out from every neon lit nightclub and bar, beckoning people to come inside. But Lucifer led Alastor down the street, passing all of them. The Radio Demon tried to act unimpressed and walk down the street like he owned it, the way he did back home. But Lucifer could see how he watched the new people, studied the new sights, listened to the new music; clearly trying to commit a previously unattainable place to memory. Excited and nervous at the same time.

They moved away from the heart of the city, and soon they left the main road and followed a back-alley that crawled in-between tall buildings. Here, the light had dimmed somewhat, and the music was blaring from old, damaged stereos. Instead of the giant doors with long queues, the nightclubs were hidden down in basements, or up on the second or third floors, where the half-naked guests were climbing rickety fire escapes to come inside. Still, the bouncers were doing their jobs even here, and Lucifer barely missed a drunk demon slamming into him when the poor guy was thrown from a balcony.

“Lucifer ...?” Alastor’s tone seemed nonchalant, but Lucifer could sense some discomfort underneath that facade.

“This is just a shortcut; we’ll be there soon-”

“Someone’s following us.” Alastor whispered.

They stopped in the middle of the road. Lucifer tried to look over his shoulder, and got a glimpse of a demon in a top-hat before the creature slid behind a corner and out of view. Up till now the people of the Lust Ring had at least kept some distance, but clearly this person was more interested than others.

“Let’s just keep walking.” Lucifer said.

Lucifer could take pretty much anyone in a fight, but he’d rather not get into a brawl while on this date. They continued to move down the street, but they both kept glancing back. The figure appeared again, following them; never disappearing completely.  It didn’t take long before the street widened out again, leading them to what seemed like the edge of the city. It was quieter, darker, and fewer people around. Still, the demon followed them. It didn’t seem hostile, nor dangerous. Instead, its presence felt almost ... familiar?

Lucifer let go of Alastor’s hand, stopped and turned around. “Ozz, what the fuck is this?”

The demonic figure slid out from behind a trashcan. Asmodeus looked smaller than usual; there was no flames and only one visible head, but when he spoke, the voice was the same. “Oh, I just wanted to say hi, Luci.”

“Three is one too many tonight.”

“Oh, I would never intrude on your date!” Asmodeus said, smiling. “I just wanted to make sure no one bothered you.”

Lucifer did not believe that for one second; he rather suspected Asmodeus had been waiting around for them to appear and followed them out of curiosity ... and possibly bragging rights over his fellow Sins that he got to meet Lucifer’s new partner first. Glancing over at Alastor, Lucifer noticed how the Radio Demon was standing very, very still and staring intensely at the newcomer, as if weighing whether fight or flight would be the best option for a possible threat; most people wouldn’t sense it through the disguise, but Asmodeus was very powerful.

“... Alright, I suppose I can introduce you.” Lucifer gently put his hand on Alastor’s back. Alastor glanced down at him; his ears twitching slightly. Lucifer smiled a reassuring smile, and gestured to the Sin in front of them. “Alastor, this is Asmodeus, Sin of Lust, and ruler of the Lust Ring. He’s an old friend of mine.”

Asmodeus nodded and tipped his hat, and so Lucifer continued: “Asmodeus, this is Alastor, the Radio Demon. Overlord, Radio Host and scourge upon the Pride Ring. My partner.”

“Welcome to the Lust Ring, Alastor! It’s good to finally meet you.” Asmodeus took Alastor’s hand. He bent to kiss it, but noticed how Alastor seemed to freeze up, and changed the greeting to a handshake instead. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“... all bad, I hope.” Alastor replied.

Asmodeus chuckled. “Terrifying. But I think Luci needs some spice in his life, now that he’s out and about again. You will take good care of him, won’t you?”

Lucifer groaned. “Ozz, please, no shovel talks-”

“Oh, I am certainly up to that task, Sir.” Alastor grinned, showing off all the sharp teeth.

This could in no way be threatening to a Sin, but Asmodeus could take a hint. “Good to hear.” He smiled, and bowed. “Now, I shouldn’t keep you love birds any longer, should I? I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful evening. I hope you’ll visit again soon.” With a final wave, he disappeared back into the back-alley they had just left.

They stood there in silence for a moment, until Alastor said: “An old friend?”

“Yes, eh ...”

“I can’t recall you mentioning him before?”

 “I ... I haven’t had not been much contact with the other Sins these last years.” Lucifer mumbled. “Word of warning, dear; I got bombarded with calls and messages as soon as I announced that we are dating. Several of them want to meet you.”

“Ah.” Alastor said. “I supposed that’s fair; you’ve met my friends.”

Lucifer recalled a dinner with Rosie, filled with thinly veiled threats. At least Asmodeus had been much more welcoming, and made it a shorter meeting. He took Alastor’s hand. “It can be an excuse to take you to the other rings?”

Alastor smiled. “Now, that is tempting, darling.”

They continued walking. At the end of the street, there was an old building that did not match well with the rest of the neighborhood. It looked like someone had stolen a tiny gothic castle from earth and plopped it down in-between the more modern buildings. Instead of neon-lights, there were candles flickering beside the entrance, barely illumining the old sign declaring that this was ‘The Clandestine Castle’.

“Here we are.” Lucifer said, pulling Alastor along.

There wasn’t any long queue like the ones outside the nightclubs at the center of the city, so the two of them walked up to the door and was let inside. The interior of the Castle was stuck somewhere in 19^th century’s England; at least the slightly creepier parts of it. Dripping candles, some in tall candelabras, others placed on top of sculls, provided the light. A succubus dressed in an old-fashioned dress with a high collar appeared and led them to a table close to the small dancefloor. The tattered curtains on stage moved slightly as a singer crooned a slow, melancholy song.

“This is not quite what I expected from the Lust Ring.” Alastor admitted, looking around at the other guests. The clientele at The Clandestine Castle’ was wearing considerably more clothes than any other citizens they had seen up till then, and so far, no one in the room seemed inclined to remove them. “How did you find this place?”

“Asmodeus recommended it.” Lucifer admitted.

According to Asmodeus’ notes, ‘The Clandestine Castle’ had been built during the Victorian Era. Fanny Device, a succubus working on earth at the time, had been inspired by how repressed the human society were, and how those appearing chaste and innocent could hide so much under the surface. The restaurant had since been passed down several generations of the Device-family, providing a place for guests that followed the rules of ‘less is more’; where the sight of an ankle was scandalous, and the simple touch of a hand could be the most erotic thing in the world.

A waiter appeared with menus in his arms, and stuttered through the drink recommendations. At first Lucifer wondered why the guy looked like he had seen a ghost, but soon became clear that the ghost in question was himself; the long absent king. When the waiter hurried back to the kitchen, he stopped in a dark corner and started whispering to his colleagues. When Lucifer looked towards them, they all scrambled to hide, pretending they weren’t looking.

The menus matched the rest of restaurant; there were no overtly sexual puns, or pictures of banana desserts in suggestive shapes, instead it was all in a flowing handwriting that bordered on unintelligible. The single candle at the table did not make nearly enough light to read properly. Figuring he could ask the stuttering waiter for recommendation’s when he returned, Lucifer put the menu down. Alastor continued to read, probably looking for the rawest, bloodiest dish the restaurant had to offer.

The nervous waiter did not return. Instead, a small cough announced the appearance of a large demon with two glasses and a bottle filled with red liquid. “Your majesty, here’s the wine you ordered.” He quickly put everything on the table, and stepped back. His face was a picture of nervous excitement. “Your majesty, I am Désiré Device, owner of this establishment. I would like to welcome you to our humble restaurant. If there’s anything, anything at all I can do to make the evening more memorable, do not hesitate to voice your wishes! What food can tempt the two of you tonight?”

Mr. Device was talking too loudly and drawing attention from every single table towards them. People started whispering again. Lucifer could feel them staring. Too many eyes. But – this was what they had planned, wasn’t it? For people to see them, see that they were a normal couple? Or at least as normal as the two of them could be. Damn it, he was supposed to be the king, he had managed to speak to all of hell today, even if he hadn’t actually seen his audience, so why was he suddenly freezing up now?

Alastor reached out and took Lucifer’s hand, squeezing it. Then the Radio Demon turned towards the owner, his smile big and bright. “Why, thank you for welcoming us to your charming establishment. What do you recommend we eat tonight, my good man?”

Lucifer watched as Alastor ordered. He didn’t need to say anything, just nodded when asked if he was fine with the choice of food. Then Mr. Device finally retreated; the demon was still seemingly walking on air, and every unoccupied employee followed him into the kitchen, presumably to analyze the entire exchange.

Alastor turned back, and while still holding Lucifer’s hand, pushed one of the wine-glasses into his other hand and filled it. The wine was rich and red. Lucifer lifted the glass and took one big swallow, and remembering Husk’s warnings, kept the next sips small.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

“Don’t worry about it.” Alastor sounded almost too cheerful, trying a bit too hard to brush it all away.

“I should – I was just-”

“I’m sure we can get them to throw out all the other guests and have the whole restaurant to ourselves, if that would make it better?”

“Let’s not.” Lucifer looked around. “We don’t need to add bad yelp-reviews to our list of sins. I ... I just need to get used to this. There hasn’t really been an audience to our dates so far.”

“Darling, don’t think about the audience. ... You can look at me instead.” A small, teasing smile played over Alastor’s lips. “Unless I’m not interesting enough for you?”

Lucifer managed to laugh. “You could never be uninteresting, dear. Especially not when you look so beautiful tonight.”

“You didn’t give me much time to prepare, so I went to Rosie for advice.” Alastor admitted. “She dragged me to the tailor and barricaded the door, so the man could not leave until we were satisfied. Your reaction was entirely worth it; anything less and I would have to go there tomorrow and fulfil my promise of eating all his fingers.”

After a while, the conversation flowed like normal. Whenever Lucifer began glancing at the other guests, Alastor pulled him back to focus on the two of them; this was their evening. A new waiter brought them their food; the girl seemed as starstruck as the owner had been, but did not say anything as she placed the food on their table. They got served before several other tables that had already been seated when they entered, and Lucifer rather suspected they were getting special treatment. This restaurant was on the edge of town, it catered to what could be called a niche audience here in Lust. The King himself visiting, bringing his new partner to dine here on their first (as far as the public knew) official date? That was publicity.

Alastor had ordered almost every single recommendation the owner had given, so their table was weighed down with soups, roast duck, beef and other old-fashioned dishes. They dug in.

“Hmm, they used lamb.” Alastor mumbled, after the first bite of a pie.

“Al, you can’t expect the shepherd’s pie to be actual-”

“No, but I can hope, can’t I?”

Lucifer just shrugged and focused on slicing up the duck on his own plate.

The food was good, but it was way too much to finish if they wanted room for dessert. Alastor wasn’t keen on changing forms and devouring the whole table, as that ‘might ruin the new suit, and then Rosie would be very upset with me’. The third waiter of the evening took their orders for apple crumble and bread pudding. It seemed that every employee wanted a chance to get close to them. At least none of them had tried to take any photos so far.

They got served dessert by yet another new waiter, sipped their wine and talked. Lucifer was actually starting to feel fairly relaxed when he felt Alastor’s foot stroke against his own underneath the table. The table cloth went almost to the floor, so no one seemed to notice, and it was fairly innocent compared to what could be going on underneath tables at other establishments in the Lust Ring.

“Looks like they’re having fun.”

Lucifer turned around to see what Alastor was looking at. Some of the guests had taken to the floor, swaying slowly to the music. Dancing. Looking back at his partner, Lucifer could see how Alastor’s eyes were shining. There was another little nudge from his foot underneath the table; he didn’t use any words, instead hinting what he wanted to do.

Yet another thing they’d never done in public, never with an audience. People would be watching. Was that why Alastor wasn’t outright asking? He’d seen Lucifer’s nerves strike once already tonight; did he think he’d get a no if he asked? Of course he wanted to dance, Alastor was good at dancing. Lucifer wasn’t that bad himself, but that was back at the hotel, when it was just the two of them. It didn’t matter if he took a wrong step there, but here-

The foot under the table retreated. Fuck, did Lucifer manage to say no without even saying the word? Damn it, he was thinking too much, he just needed to do it. He stood up so fast his chair tipped back and fell. Great, now everyone was definitely looking at them.

Lucifer held his hand out. “May I have this dance?”

Alastor’s smile grew so big it looked physically painful. “You may, darling!” Then he too was out of his chair, and in less than three seconds, they were out on the dancefloor. They fumbled a bit with their hands, in a silent dispute over who should lead, but tonight Alastor let Lucifer win fairly quickly. The music was slow and old-fashioned; it didn’t really match the more fast-paced dances they usually shared. Instead, they ended up just ... moving to the music, letting the song guide them, improvising in slow-motion.

There was a flash of a camera. Someone was taking pictures. Lucifer looked up, forgetting his feet for a moment. He stepped wrong, and should have stumbled, but Alastor was a steady partner, pulling him along for the next step, lifting a him slightly off the floor before putting him down, and starting again. It was so smooth and quick, no one seemed to notice. At least, no one was laughing.

The other couples moved away. There was room enough on the dancefloor, but they apparently preferred to watch now. There was the sound of feet tip-toing around, and when Lucifer dared to look up from his feet the next time, he could see several employees standing by empty tables, pretending to work as an excuse to watch. Some of them had their phones out.

“They won’t get much out of those videos.” Alastor whispered. “When you are this close, the static will cover both of us.”

That felt comforting in a way, that Alastor’s shield could shelter Lucifer as well. Lucifer pried his eyes away from the audience, first to watch his own feet, and then, when he felt confident enough, to watch his partner. This was fine. It was more than fine, it was fun. It got easier with each step. The song stopped, and a new started, and they kept on dancing. For the next song, and the next, Lucifer was losing count, until his feet began to ache. Alastor didn’t seem to get achy feet, and could have kept on going, but in the end, he let Lucifer lead him away from the dance floor.

Few people were watching now. The guests had turned their focus back onto their own partners, and the employees had seemingly remembered that they had a job to do. Lucifer and Alastor shared another bottle of wine and asked for the bill. Mr. Device tried to insist that ‘of course it’s on the house’, but Lucifer put down enough money on the table to pay for the meal twice over. It was never a good idea to owe anything to anyone in Hell, even if it was just an overfriendly restaurant-owner.

Outside, the only indication of time passing was how the people they passed seemed drunker than before. They themselves were slightly tipsy; the stage where they could let their shoulders down more easily. Lucifer pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried to discreetly find the Hell Map-app.

“Checking your watch?” Alastor asked. “Is the night nearing its end?”

“No, no, I just want to show you one last thing.”

“Oh ... Lead the way, then.”

They went back through the city center, weaving through crowds of people getting evicted from nightclubs, and starting their own parties in the street. Finally, they rounded the right corner, and found themselves at the edge of a park. They walked over the gravel paths, heading away from the bright lights and music. There were benches along the path, but every single one seemed to be occupied by people in various state of undress and intoxication.

“I was hoping for a little more privacy.” Lucifer mumbled.

Beside the path, down a sloping hill, there was a cluster of trees, darker than the rest of the park. They were halfway there when Alastor stumbled over a root, and dragged Lucifer down with him. They tumbled down the hill and landed in the bushes.

Alastor held up a torn sleeve that got caught on a branch. “Rosie is going to kill me.”

“... does that mean I won’t get another date?” Lucifer asked, and started laughing at his own joke. “Cause – you know – you’ll be dead?”

“It didn’t stop you from asking me out the first time.” Alastor mumbled, before joining in on the laughter.

When the laughter died down, they lay quietly in the grass for a while, and Lucifer began to pick leaves out of Alastor’s hair. Alastor turned towards him. They were so close now their faces were almost touching; Lucifer could smell the wine on his breath. He moved to close the gap, and Alastor met him in a kiss. Soft and warm. They rolled around, and then Alastor was underneath him, smiling up at him; in the dark his antlers seemed to blend with the branches on the ground, like it was some strange sort of crown. Lucifer bent down and kissed him again. He had never been a teenager, but perhaps this was what it was like? Drunk om wine and each other, fumbling in the dark, underneath the trees, not a care in their heads-

“Yeah, guys! Get some!!”

The shout snapped them both out of the comfortable haze they’d been in. Fuck. They were out in public; someone had seen them! Somewhere deeper into the shade of the trees, someone else was laughing, stumbling and falling. The voices sounded young. But no one pulled out a camera, no one shrieked at the scoop of finding the King of Hell making out with the Radio Demon in a public park. The demons probably hadn’t even realized who they had seen.

“Looks like we’re not the only ones who wanted some privacy under the trees.” Lucifer mumbled. “Is there a single place in the park where people aren’t fucking?”

“This is the Lust Ring, darling.” Alastor swallowed. “... You don’t have any such expectations, do you ...?”

“Huh?” Lucifer looked down.

Even in the dark, the blush was visible on Alastor’s face. He looked away, his smile shaky and his ears drooping. “Because, uhm ... I ...”

Was this what it felt like when you got sober in an instant? Suddenly, it was like the fog lifted from Lucifer’s mind. He put his hand on Alastor’s cheek, turning his face so he would look at him. “No. I’m not expecting that.”

“... because it’s the first date? I know people might wait till the third-”

“Because I don’t expect you to do something you’re not comfortable with. No matter if it’s the first date or the hundredth.” Lucifer swallowed. “You – you weren’t thinking – when I asked you out, you didn’t think that I-”

“No, not at first. It’s just that ... you took me to this ring ...”

“And I found a place where you could be comfortable. Everyone’s welcome here, dearest. No matter what they feel.”

“Yes. You’re accommodating for me, and I don’t give you anything in return-”

“You put up with me, you cheer me, you help me – I could go on and on, you are my partner. I don’t need anything from you that you won’t give.” Lucifer stroked Alastor’s ears. “Please believe me?”

Alastor stared up at him. The smile softened. “... Alright.”

“It’s been such a wonderful night, let’s not end it on a sour note, hm?” Lucifer asked. “So, can I kiss you again? That’s all I want, just to kiss you.”

“Yes.” Alastor whispered. “But perhaps we ought to get somewhere more private.”

They crawled out from under the trees, and brushed off leaves and dirt. More cameras started flashing; a group of half-naked demons seemed to find snapping photos of the King and his companion a bit more interesting than whatever they had first sought out the park for. Lucifer rolled his eyes, and took Alastor’s hand. A flurry of red and gold carried them out of the Lust Ring.

The back-up generators really were a god-send. Well, perhaps not a ‘god-send’, not down here, but they kept the V Tower from going dark. The lights flickered in the meeting room, but they stayed on. No electronics had been broken, except for the screen Vox had thrown out of the window when he had first heard Lucifer’s official statement. Velvette put down one of the many newspapers they’d gathered and swiped through her phone. It looked like the online version of Lust Ring News had been the first to break the news, and from there it had travelled to every gossip rag in the Lust Ring, before spreading to the other rings.

The King of Hell had taken the Radio Demon out on a date.  

There was a slew of photos, most of them staticky, but it was possible to see the new ‘power couple’ drinking, dancing, laughing together, all in all looking disgustingly sweet and romantic. There were stories from eyewitnesses, opinions from experts, and apparently one not-so-popular restaurant was suddenly booked out several months in advance.

Velvette scrolled through the fashion blogs discussing the couple’s outfits. Should she make a statement? The Radio Demon was wearing too much red, as usual, but it was a stylish fit. The King looked down-right dashing. She looked up to see Vox rip yet another newspaper into shreds; the floor of the meeting room was covered in bits of paper. Perhaps it was best not to make any comments right now.  

“Why! Why did they go to the Lust Ring!?”

Valentino shrugged. “Because you’ve made sure everyone here in the Pride Ring was harassing them, Cariño?”

“How then!?” Vox screamed. “Sinners aren’t supposed to travel between rings!”

“He’s the devil, he got his ways, apparently.”

“He can’t just steal Alastor away, breaking all the rules-”

“Oh ho, it looks like Radio Demon was more than happy to be stolen-”

“That fucker took him to the Lust Ring! The Lust Ring, Valentino!”

“I knooow!” Valentino stretched out in his chair. “Never thought I’d envy Alastor. Do you know what kind of kinky shit they get up to there?”

“Shut up, both of you.” Velvette rubbed her temples; she could feel a headache coming. “It does not matter what they did there.”

“All the best sex toys, all the best sex clubs, the official dominatrix school-”

“If Alastor let that bastard dom him, I swear I’m gonna-”

“You’re gonna what!?” Velvette yelled. “You can’t do a thing to stop him! You- we can’t even turn the public against them properly! Look at this!

She swiped her phone, casting the image onto one of the screens. The net had exploded with new reactions. There were still tons of demons condemning the relationship, due to secrecy, the difference in status, the Radio Demon’s reputation, and a ton of other reasons. But now, there was starting to be a push-back. The king’s official statement had been analyzed by every so-called expert in the Pride Ring and beyond, and some of them were agreeing with him. Little old demon royalists were writing comments about how it was ‘sweet if the king could find love again, the poor man’, someone had made a ship name for the two, and now ‘radioapple’ was trending!

“All the official news coming from the Lust Ring are positive! Someone there is pulling strings for them.”

“But thousands of people hate the idea of them being together!” Vox wailed.

“You most of all. But it does not matter, does it; it will not break them up. If anything, it made them come out and make it official. So instead of this being a dirty little secret of no consequence, the Radio Demon is now officially linked to the royal family. If Lucifer proposes down the line and makes Alastor his consort, the red freak ought to send us a damn thank you-card!” Velvette glared at the other two, daring them to keep arguing.

Vox sat down by the table. He was quieter now; perhaps he at long last could calm down about the whole situation, and think with his cold, calculating TV-head instead of being caught up in this ridiculous mess of emotions he had about the Radio Demon. Perhaps, seeing how hopeless this was, he could finally let that damn obsession go.

“Alright.” Vox took a deep breath, and said, in his most business-like tone: “What do we do now?”

“I can make some new movies to capitalize on the news.” Valentino said. “I still have that red wig you talked me into wearing once-”

Vox’ face started glitching.

Velvette got up and left the room before he started screaming again.