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The room looks the same as it has every other time he’s stayed here. Through every abandoned holiday and empty summer, this safe haven always remained. The lamps cast soft light into every nook and cranny, leaving no shadows behind and yet, darkness seems to creep in and grasp at the edges of Sirius’s vision.
As he gasps for breath, his lungs ache and pull. All the cuts, never deep enough for stitches but not yet healed, tug across his skin. He feels the lingering feeling of a hospital gown and yet he can’t convince himself he's not in the cellar still. He curls even tighter into himself in the middle of his bed.
His fingers twitch and curl up into his hands repeatedly before he presses his hand into his aching ribs. His eyes well with tears and he blinks rapidly, flinching every time his closed eyes cast him into darkness. He grabs for his phone sitting near him and winces at the bright light.
Remus: it feels so good to be back in my own bed
Without thinking, he clicks the call icon.
“Sirius?” Remus’s voice sounds through the phone, confusion heavy. Sirius gasps in response, unable to verbalise any words. “Hey, are you okay?”
“No,” Sirius sobs.
“Okay,” Remus starts, his voice is soft and steady. Sirius grips his phone, pressing it tightly against his ear to try and hold his voice close. “You’re safe, I promise. You’re at James’s house and no one there will hurt you. Do you know what’s wrong now?”
“It’s too dark.”
“Can you turn on any lights?”
“They’re all on.”
“All the lights are on and it’s still too dark?” Remus asks, his voice still gentle. Sirius makes a quiet affirmative noise. “Can you try describing the room you’re in to me?”
“This is my bedroom here, it used to be one of the guest rooms, but now it’s all mine. Mrs Potter let me paint the walls red a few years ago, so they’re still red. I have a big bed with red and gold sheets. The carpet is a cream colour and it's really comfortable to sit on unless you sit for too long, then it gets itchy. There are fairy lights across the ceiling and lamps on the bedside tables. I have some bookshelves across from my bed and there are some small lamps on the shelves.”
“That sounds like a really cool room, Sirius. Did you get to paint the walls yourself?”
“No, Mrs. Potter said that was a horrific accident just waiting to happen so she hired someone,” Sirius says with a much steadier voice. “But I do have a part of the wall I paint murals on sometimes. Maybe I should do a new one. Right now, it’s just a forest with a full moon.”
“Yeah, maybe I don’t like full moons,” Remus says.
“Why?”
“I don’t know, I just feel like bad things always happen on full moons. Do you have any ideas for a new mural?”
“Maybe I’ll do a sunny beach if you hate the moon so much,” Sirius says with some sass. He uncurls from his balled-up position and stretches out on the bed with a yawn. Remus laughs softly. “Thank you, by the way, I’m definitely feeling a bit better. I’m afraid of the dark even when it’s not dark, apparently.”
“Even if the only light around was the moon, I’ll be here for you,” Remus says.
“You’re my moonlight, my moony.”
“I feel like I should be offended by that.”
“I think-” Sirius yawns and cuts off anything he was trying to say.
“I think you should go to sleep,” Remus says.
“Wait, don’t leave me,” Sirius says with panic lacing his voice again.
“I won’t, I promise.” Sirius hears some shuffling from Remus’s side of the phone. “How about I read my book and stay on the phone with you while you fall asleep?”
“Yeah, that sounds good,” Sirius says and burrows under his red and gold blankets. He can hear Remus’s gentle breathing and the rustling of his book pages for several minutes before Remus starts humming. Sirius can’t even figure out the song before he’s asleep, softly snoring with a smile lingering on his lips.
Remus’s own lips quirk into a soft smile as he continues humming, reading his book, and listening to Sirius’s breaths until his eyes feels heavy. At some point throughout the night, the phone call disconnects, but both of them sleep soundly until morning light streams through their blinds.