Chapter Text
“No, no! Ruby, down! Bad girl!” William slapped the dog’s hand as her little paws tried to reach for William’s food. The dog barked in complaint, trying to steal the bacon on his plate.
“Aye, Ruby!” William yells before letting out a huff as Ruby bites down on the piece of meat and runs off to her food bowl.
“Not again…” William sighs, shaking his head as he resumes eating his dinner. His hand reaches out to the coffee table to grab his mug and takes a sip of the hot, bitter coffee, feeling the warmth of it going down his throat.
Prang! Thump!
William’s head suddenly snapped to the side as he heard the sound of glass breaking and a body hitting the floor. He almost dropped the mug in his hand, the liquid inside sloshing around and threatening to spill out.
He stood up almost immediately, eyes looking frantically in the direction of the room he heard it from.
He quickly glanced at his service dog, upon seeing her still happily chewing on her stolen food and not barking aggressively at the sound, he let out a relieved sigh as he slowly but carefully sat back down on the couch.
“It’s just in your head… You’re fine…" William whispered to himself, taking a deep breath as he leaned his head back, resting his eyes close. "You’ll be fine…" He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose as he felt a headache coming on.
"What if it's an actual intruder and she's just ignoring it? What if she wants them to hurt you?!"
His brows furrowed as his breath quickened. There's a sudden ringing in his ears, his head is dizzy and the room feels like it's spinning all around him. A lump is in his throat and it feels like he's going to throw up his insides at any moment.
"Someone's out there to get you!"
His hands found their way to his hair, fingers tangling onto the black strands, tugging on it harshly as he tried to get the voices to stop.
"You're useless without Ruby."
He was quickly snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Ruby’s paws on his thigh, the dog’s barking and growling immediately overpowering his drowning thoughts.
“Hey, hey, easy girl. I’m alright!” He chuckles, picking up the small dog and putting her on his lap, stroking her head as she nuzzles into his hand.
William holds Ruby close to his chest, the dog always having a special spot in his heart. She's like a guiding light in the dark, leading him away from the harsh voices in his head and into the less harsh reality.
Is it weird to be attached to your dog so much that you start to think of her as a part of the family? Yeah, probably, but he’s not exactly the most normal guy either. That is unless you consider seeing people in the corner of your eyes, feeling bugs crawling all over your skin, and being convinced that there’s someone out there stalking and watching your every move is normal.
He closed his eyes again, rubbing his nose bridge as he petted the dog on his lap. He can't help but think about his life and how much of it doesn't make sense.
He's prescribed medications for his schizophrenia and yeah, that part is normal he guessed, but what's not is the fact that no matter how much he ate those pills he's not getting any better, even at the time he took more than what he’s supposed to there’s still nothing.
Standing up from his seat, he gently put Ruby down on the floor, the dog happily running around his feet. "Come on girl, let's go to the kitchen" He let out a small laugh as he rubbed the dog's head.
The kitchen, having a cozy and vintage design, gives it a comfortable atmosphere. The cabinets are painted in a muted green with simple designs, paired with sleek and modern countertops. In the center of it all is a dining table with a note left by his parents being held down by a small glass vase.
The small paper, a big contrast against the wooden top of the table immediately catches William's eyes.
"Emergency at work. Might come home late -Mom"
William let out a sigh of disappointment as he read the note, his gaze falling on the golden retriever. "You hear that, pup? I guess that means we're home alone 'till later" He chuckles, rubbing her head.
Footsteps are coming from behind him, haltering to a stop right beside him.
"Hey, Will, where do you keep your meds?" A girl asked him, her hands crossed over her chest as she questioned the startled man.
"Holy– you scared me, Millie!" William yelped, letting out a laugh as he clutched the edge of the table.
"Ruby, greet" A grin still plastered on William's face as he motioned for Ruby to greet the other woman.
Ruby tilts her head to the side looking at the air William is pointing at, her tail has stopped wagging for a while now.
"Ruby? Greet! Come on girl" William raised an eyebrow upon not seeing the dog greet her.
Oh. That makes sense…
"You're a… hallucination, right?" William scowls, digging his hands into his hair.
"Stupid, you can't even tell what's real and what's not" The voice in his head spat out, the disgust evident in its voice. "You're an idiot. A useless piece of waste on this earth"
William took a deep breath, trying his best to ignore the hallucination as he made his way to his room. The hallway is getting suffocating and it feels like he can't even breathe in it.
Every step that he took felt heavier than the last, his own body slowing him down as his trembling hand reached for the door to his room. He could feel beads of sweat rolling down his forehead as he entered his bedroom before immediately going into his connected bathroom and grabbing his meds in the cabinet.
He couldn’t care less about the doses the doctor recommends, he just wants it to stop. The voices, hallucinations, he just wants everything to stop.
“Your family would be better off without you”
His fingers are numb and he can barely breathe as he swallows the pills in his hand, he hadn’t even counted how much he had taken, but it doesn’t matter. He just wants it to stop.
No matter how many times he had been face to face with his hallucinations he still got panicked and nauseous around them after finding out that they were not real.
It’s not necessarily the fact that they’re not real and that his mind likes to pull tricks on him making him believe in some other reality, but it’s the fact that he’s not normal and won’t ever be. Schizophrenia has no cure, and he knows it.
"You're a burden to the family. It'd be better if you've never existed"
"Shut up! Shut up, shut up!" He screams, trying to drown out the sounds of their disgust.
He knows Ruby's beside him. He knows that she's barking and nudging at his leg to try and get him out of it, but he can't. And he doesn't want to.
A sick part of him finds comfort in this pain. It's familiar and predictable. He knows what to expect and what to brace himself for.
"You're a sick man, William. A sick man"
Just then, the front door of the house clicked open and Ruby's ear immediately perked up as she looked at the direction the sound came from.