Chapter Text
Darkness engulfed all, a glaring nothingness without end and without respite, its heavy presence existing everywhere and nowhere within a space lacking dimensions or direction, with no inside or outside to mark its borders. Nothing moved to disturb it. Everything and nothing was one and the same. Then came a shock so intense it seemed to cut straight through the heavy veil and snatch him up into a blinding, chilling light. It all happened at a sickening pace, allowing no time for writhing and crying out, nor to be shown any mercy. He gasped and air burned like fire in his lungs, yet nourished him as if he were starved. The endless landscape without shape and form disappeared, though it still lingered as if etched into his retina, along with a deeply unsettling feeling of something having gone terribly awry. Lifting a weak and numb arm to shield his eyes from an inescapable, white death he could only think of one thing; to flee this merciless beam that brought with it such unbearable, excruciating pain. Shadow and light flickered in his vision like indistinct patterns, spasming frantically like the pulse beating again and again from deep within his battered, frail body. It seemed so difficult to move. He recalled naught but the black depths coiling and rising like some formless creature, and a still sea of wretched loneliness.
…Who was he…? What was happening to him?
In a fit of desperation he found the strength and will to move, though he did not know where to go. So bright…it tore right through him, observing every little corner tucked away and hidden from scrutiny, all that was kept buried within, and cast a solemn judgment no one else was around to hear. Being alone beneath this cold, critical beam was too much to bear. How long it took he did not know, only that it felt like an eternity passed and a fierce, relentless battle against his own miserable frailty was waged until at last, demanding every ounce of energy, he sat upright, panting for foreign and dizzying air with that freezing, fiery force still melting against his back.
Only then, blinking as his surroundings began to take shape, was he confronted by a most sickening reality. Head hanging low with exertion his gaze fell down, for the first time noticing the state of his body; A horrendous sight to behold, it was deathly pale and split by unsightly and crude scars held together by thick, dark stitches. There were patches of skin varying in color, all in a disturbing and pale tone reminiscent of rot and maggots. He stared unblinkingly, unable to make a sound and caught in a sensation like being plunged downward into a dark abyss. Upon being struck by this notion he all but stopped breathing as a cold, tense spike of dread forced its way into his chest.
No, please! Not like this-
He clutched his head in his hands, consumed by a storm of unfiltered chaos; Fragmented memories flashing one after the other without pause, never lingering long enough to grow coherent before being replaced by the next. He grew increasingly agitated by the light still burrowing into him, silently watching without announcing its sentence. If this kept going, he would surely shatter and come apart.
No more. Please, no more!
First he did not comprehend what it was that gave him pause. A sound, something that could not possibly be his own, frantic breathing. Ears ringing with this sudden, quiet noise emitted from somewhere innthe vicinity he slowly and shakingly peered up, the vague outline of a room visible beyond the destructive, white path of the all-seeing eye. It slowly came into view, albeit hazily, each and every additional detail overwhelming, just like his fragmented, scattered memories. Unable to fully take it in, there first only appeared to be walls made of stone bricks, a discomforting sight after eons within the blinding and disorienting void. He saw shelves filled to the brim with unknown items, then a table or a desk littered with paper. Gazing at it he winced, eyes stung by another, less intrusive, yet still painful light placed on top of it. Forced to look away, he discovered he was not alone. Everything seemed to come to a chilling pause, the world drifting into obscurity as their eyes met. On the floor was a…man, yes, like himself. First he was struck by his eyes, bright red and wide as they stared back in fear and astonishment, then by the unruly, short and white hair atop his head. It seemed as though some inexplicable energy lifted strands out in all kinds of directions, giving him a frazzled appearance. In total silence they both regarded one another, frozen as if afraid of moving.
Then he remembered the painful, blistering light on his back and momentarily forgot the stranger, growing desperate to evade it. But his legs, though they reached the floor and met with a strange, numb sensation of cold stone tiles beneath his bare soles and toes, did not hold. His stomach dropped, then his balance faltered. In the blink of an eye he found himself on the hard floor, a throbbing ache spreading from the arms he had instinctively reached out. It was no use. At the mere thought of rising his legs trembled. All that remained was to curl up, exhausted from the intense emotions still hailing down and bruising what little courage remained to him.
“A-are you hurt? Stay there, I’ll help you!”
A voice. It must belong to the other. He laid unmoving, captivated by how it rang in his ears, comprehending yet not understanding. Reminiscent of the pricking discomfort in his elbows yet softer, in an inexplicable sense. He longed to hear it again, though it hurt to listen. Should he answer it? Not a sound came out upon opening his mouth, however. Panic rose anew.
“It will be alright.” Said the man as he neared and he instinctively shied away. “I swear that I will not hurt you. Here, take this.”
Something rugged and unwielding landed in his lap, its texture almost tickling, bringing with it a new cascade of fractured memories. It was all familiar yet so alien and utterly petrifying. Clutching the fabric tightly he allowed himself to be helped up into a sitting position, flinching as hands burned against his skin.
“This cannot be happening.” The man kept muttering to himself, voice low and thin. “I must be dreaming. This cannot be.”
There came a pause, and he felt a strong gaze draw over his trembling form. Do not look this way. Something dreadful has happened to me. With great effort he drew his legs up against his chest to conceal the wretchedness, but the act only served as a sickening reminder of the crude stitching and mismatched patches covering his body.
“Keep that coat wrapped around your waist if you are able. Take my hand. I’ll support you, do not fear.”
He stared at the outstretched hand, recalling how it had felt only moments prior and shuddering. The smallest of steps seemed such a momentous task in that moment. He merely wished to crawl into some dark corner and remain there until forgotten. Even so his rigidness did nothing to repel the man. Undeterred, the hand reached down and clasped his, emitting such radiant heat it felt like an electric shock. He was swiftly pulled up from the floor, legs giving in beneath him before two arms wrapped around his frame, which seemed to weigh so little the stranger held it with ease.
“See?” The man flashed a vague, hesitant smile. “I told you.”
Only then did he notice how he was trembling all over. Before long he was bombarded by the cold, cruel light, however, and lost focus. No more. I cannot stand it any longer. These pleas came out as incoherent and low sounds resembling gasps and cries. Red eyes averted from him, quickly finding the source of his misery. “Is it hurting you?” The arms wrapped around him seemed to grow tighter.
Terrified, he forgot to be wary of the stranger, instead burying his face against his chest. Anything to get away. Fingers came up and stroked his hair, causing yet another involuntary flinch to pass through him. This time being touched felt…lacking the words, mind weary and burdened by racing thoughts, he could not say. It was not threatening, nor was it intimidating. Such a gentle, yet hesitant caress…
“Come. I shall bring you to a place without light. Lean on me, and try to keep upright. If you falter, I will be there to support you.”
And they were moving, a horribly mismatched and clumsy pair moving one step at a time. He staggered after him, straining to complete the task at hand which ought to be so simple. Something wet burned in the corners of his eyes. Tears, he suddenly remembered. It was not the first time they threatened to blur his vision. Despite them a great wave of relief washed over him as the agonizing whiteness grew distant. He peered back, squinting to see a metallic table surrounded by a plethora of unfamiliar equipments and tools. A recollection of concepts known to him as 'medicine' and 'surgery' came back to the surface. Some accident must have taken place, or else he would not be so disfigured, or pale. What kind of wicked illness could possibly have befallen him?
Drained and disoriented, the tears truly did threaten to spill over. He could not shake the feeling that something truly awful, something beyond comprehension, happened in this very room, something from which there was no respite. He was lost.
Beside him the man paused. “I…I cannot imagine what this must feel like. Truth is, I can hardly believe it myself. We shall speak on the morrow. For now you may rest as long as you desire it. God be merciful. Do you even understand what I am saying? I pray you do…”
He paused to take these words to heart, allowing his breaths to grow deeper and steadier, then took an unsteady step forward. They kept going, moving to what he realized was a door. The stranger pushed it open. As one they stumbled through.