Work Text:
Briseis looks around the canteen at Achilles, her brows furrowing. She turns back to Patroclus. “Nah. I don’t see it; I just think you're crying wolf,” she giggles at her joke.
Patroclus drops his flask and almost spits out the blood he was drinking. “What! It’s so obvious that he’s a werewolf." Patroclus lowers his voice after getting weird stares. “Can you not tell?”
Briseis rolls her eyes. For the past few weeks, Patroclus has been raving that Achilles is a werewolf. And frankly, she doesn’t trust him. Not since the other few times Patroclus has accused civilians of being supernatural beings like them. “He’s always been this wild. And I don’t believe you since...”
“I know! You’ve been saying this!!” He heaves a breath. “But just trust me! I won’t be wrong like the other...incidents, and you’ll be begging for my forgiveness.”
Patroclus narrows his eyes. Now he’s very annoyed.
Sure, he’s ruined some lives, got a girl burnt at the stake, killed families, and destroyed communities over his guesses. But for good reason! And with his guessing, he also found Briseis out, so he isn’t that inaccurate.
Briseis coughs, and Patroclus looks up to see Achilles walking over. He mouths a small ‘Curse you' and ‘die’, to Briseis before looking at him. Achilles swaggers on before stopping in front of them.
“Hey, Briseis, Patroclus. What’s good?”
Patroclus knows exactly how to catch him. “Hey Achilles. Are you going to go to the Halloween party?” and when Patroclus asks this, Achilles’s eyes widen. Patroclus wants to cackle. He’s caught Achilles. He knows Achilles won’t go because it's full moon. And if his suspicions are correct, Achilles will be a slobbering wolf by the time the party starts.
“You’re going too?” Achilles asks, all smiles. “Oh, Pat! I didn’t think you’re the type to go to parties; I mean, you never go outside, and... But I’m so glad you’ll come!” Achilles seems genuinely happy, which shocks Patroclus, but he isn’t giving up.
He can see the look Briseis is giving him in the corner of his eye. It looks like they’re going to a party.
First, Patroclus needs an invitation. Curse being a vampire. But getting one would be easy enough; he just has to get Briseis into his plans.
After explaining, Briseis raises a brow. “You’re going to stalk Achilles? All night? Are you sure you don’t have a thing for him?”
Patroclus rolls his eyes and huffs. “Oh, come on, Bri! You owe me, and you know it.”
Briseis considers it for a few seconds and smiles. “Of course! I’ve been rooting for you and Achilles for ages." She unlocks her phone and starts typing. “Oh yeah, I’ve already gotten us an invite to the party.”
Patroclus wants to hug Briseis; his plan is going to work.
On the day before the party, Briseis drags him out of their house. The sun is giving Patroclus a migraine, and he wishes he was mortal so he could die. Briseis keeps on nagging him, and he hasn’t seen her this bossy in a long time. She’s cut his hair, bought him makeup, and now they’re on the way to buy costumes for the party. “Are you sure you’re doing this to help me catch Achilles?” Patroclus groans.
Briseis barely acknowledges Patroclus and dismisses him with a wave of her hand. “Oh! How about you can be a vampire?”
Patroclus pouts. “So original, Briseis. It’s not like I am one already!” He tries to pull away from her grip, but Briseis’ hand only tightens on his shoulder.
“I wasn’t suggesting. I found a cute inspiration on Pinterest, and I think it’ll be perfect." She blabbers on about how amazing his costume is going to be and pulls him into a shop.
3 hours later, Briseis has deemed his costume acceptable. His costume is a white shirt that goes slightly over his navel, with a black vest on top. Briseis also bought him black low-rise jeans and a cape to go with it.
It screams stereotypical vampire so much that Patroclus almost finds it offensive. Especially the cape, but he lets it slide.
Briseis also bought herself a beautiful gown with a deep red design on the corset.
Patroclus fell asleep the second they arrived back. He needs to mentally prepare himself for this party.
He eventually wakes up at sunset, a couple hours before the party. He stumbles downstairs into their kitchen, hungry for blood. Patroclus scoffs at his cravings. He thought he could go without blood for at least a week.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty!” Briseis chirps, handing Patroclus some blood they have stored. Patroclus promptly ignores her and takes the blood. Briseis pulls out makeup and Patroclus’s costume. “Oh, Pattycake! I'm so proud of you! My little boy is going to fall in love!” Briseis pulls on his cheek, and Patroclus glares at her.
“Stop. And you're not that much older than me.”
Briseis squeals in delight. “Come on! Achilles is picking us up! You need to be ready.”
Achilles. Is picking them up? Patroclus doesn't know whether to cheer or to scream. Maybe both. Possibly kill Briseis. “He's driving? Briseis! What if-”
Briseis shushes him. “Nothing will happen. Plus, you need to wear eyeliner again! It makes your eyes look gorgeous." She then starts to put makeup products on the table, and Patroclus starts to regret his decision.
After a long, gruelling hour of his eye being poked, Patroclus is finally ready. Briseis splatters fake blood all over his face.
“There! Aww, Pat! You look amazing!” Patroclus doesn’t have a reflection, so he has to trust Briseis on this one.
"Thanks, Bri; hopefully this party goes well.”
A sinister smile appears on Briseis’ face, and the doorbell rings. Briseis squeals. “Must be Achilles! Come on! Go!”
Patroclus gets shoved out of the door, straight into Achilles. Achilles grabs him, holding him upright. “You okay?” he asks.
His shoulder hurts slightly, but other than that, he's fine. “Yeah. Thanks,” Patroclus says grudgingly. Briseis walks out the door, smiling wildly.
“Achilles! What do you think of Pat's makeup? I did it myself,” she says proudly. Patroclus smiles fondly at her. He hits her arm lightly.
“Come on, Bri, we can’t be late now!” Briseis sticks her tongue out at him and walks over to the car with Achilles and Patroclus in tow.
Patroclus decides to examine Achilles for... research reasons. Achilles doesn’t look troubled or worried. He doesn’t look anything like how a werewolf on a full moon would. He actually looks okay, if not perfectly fine. His hair shines golden in the streetlights, and Achilles must be wearing some sort of makeup because his skin is shining. Achilles notices Patroclus’ staring and looks at him with raised brows. “What?” he asks, tilting his head.
Patroclus blinks. “Uhh,” he fumbles. “I like your costume,” he says sheepishly. Achilles lights up at that, and he turns his head away.
“Thanks,” he mumbles, smiling like a little girl.
What? Okay, Patroclus is confused. Like extremely confused. Why would Achilles be smiling about that? Over the most mundane, boring, bland compliment ever.
In the car, Patroclus gazes out the window. The moon’s light shines behind the clouds, so it’s not that noticeable. The silence is extremely comfortable, he thinks. After all these years of being alive, Patroclus hasn’t gotten any better at social situations, and Briseis has been a first-hand witness.
The moon comes out of the clouds, shining down on the car. Then Patroclus hears it. Well, he senses it. Achilles’ heartbeat is through the roof. He glances over at him, and Achilles looks nervous. He’s chewing his lip, and he’s slightly pink.
Patroclus smirks. He’s almost caught Achilles and proven his suspicions. Just a couple more hours.
“Okay, we’re here,” Achilles says, while he and Briseis leave the car. Patroclus slowly gets up too, and Jesus-Menelaus’ house is fucking giant. He almost forgot that Menelaus, one of the kindest people he’s ever known, is Agamemnon's brother and Atreus’ son. There are decorations everywhere. In the garden, on the windows, inflatables and fake skeletons galore. While he’s walking in, Patroclus almost trips on a plastic gravestone, and he hears Briseis laugh at him. He hopes Achilles wasn’t watching.
Achilles opens the door, and Patroclus almost wants to abandon his plan and run away. There’s so much fake smoke that he can’t see anything around him. He’s probably going to be lost; disco lights are blinding him almost, and some horrible song is blasting. Briseis links his arm, and Patroclus hasn’t been more grateful for her existence until now.
The floor is sticky with gods-know-what, and Patroclus cringes when his Doc Martens stick against it after every step he takes. Luckily, Briseis pulls him away to a less crowded room.
There’s much less smoke in there, and Patroclus turns over to her. That’s not Briseis. Oh gods, it’s Achilles. “Gods, how many people did they invite?” Achilles asks while looking around. He obviously doesn’t notice how flustered Patroclus is, which is helpful. Achilles turns back around. “Did you get my invite?”
That’s how Briseis got them in. Of course it was Achilles. Patroclus looks up at Achilles and nods. “Thanks for it,”
Achilles smiles his own, charming smile. “It’s no problem,” he shrugs. He pulls out his phone and stiffens. Achilles’ smile turns from charming and great to apologetic. “Sorry, you wouldn’t mind if I-” He gestures to the woods outside the house and leaves the room.
Patroclus narrows his eyes. This is going to plan. He waits an appropriate amount of time and follows exactly where Achilles went.
He can still hear Achilles’ footsteps until he stops walking.
Patroclus walks silently around the trees, and he sees Achilles. His back is facing him, and Patroclus steps forward.
Achilles snaps backward, stabbing towards Patroclus with a stake in his hand. He barely moves out of the way to save himself in time. Achilles looks insane. His eyes are wide, and he's not moving. He recognises Patroclus, and Achilles’ expression softens. “Patroclus? What are you doing out here?” he asks this so sincerely as if Achilles wasn't just about to kill him.
“What are you doing out here?” Patroclus has his guard up fully now.
Achilles smiles sheepishly and scratches his head. “Uh, I don’t want to spoil the surprise for you.”
Patroclus raises a brow. Surprise? For him? Achilles doesn't seem to be clarifying what he meant anytime soon. Patroclus then sees the mallet in Achilles' other hand. Okay. So Achilles didn't figure out Patroclus was a vampire. He was just hammering stakes down. In the woods.
Achilles flushes and shuffles on his feet. “It's... supposed to be romantic,” he mumbles.
Before he can respond, Achilles clears his throat. He pulls out a flashlight and turns around to a giant wildflower bouquet. Patroclus is stunned. Achilles turns back to Patroclus, still gripping the stake awkwardly. “Okay, here's the thing. Pat, I really, really like you. I was nervous all night, and I wanted this to be, I don't know, romantic and memorable.” Achilles sighs, “And I thought this would be good, like a cute horror movie or something, but I'm so bad at—” He pauses, looking unsure as Patroclus just stares at him like a deer caught in headlights.
The wires inside Patroclus’ brains are going haywire. So, Achilles isn't a werewolf. He's just in love with Patroclus. "You're not a werewolf?” Achilles raises a brow. Gods, Patroclus did not mean to say that out loud.
“Well, I thought you would like this, but clearly not.” Achilles replies. He looks so sad, and Patroclus’ stomach drops.
“I do!” Patroclus sighs in anger. He never knew that he would tell a human this. “I'm... a vampire. I only followed you out here because I thought you were a werewolf,” he mutters. Gods, kill him now. The embarrassment is just about to eat him up.
“You're a vampire? I thought that you’re just allergic to garlic, spoke like an old person, hated the sunlight—oh.” Achilles’ eyes widen in surprise. “Wait, you like it?”
Patroclus hates this. He also hates how he has to admit his feelings for Achilles. “Yes,” he begrudgingly gets out, and Achilles smiles so hard.
Achilles tosses his mallet aside and turns to face Patroclus again. “So, would you want to be my boyfriend? Vampire shit aside, I really like you, Pat, and I'm willing to risk it all.”
Patroclus moves closer to him, smirking. Achilles leans in, and their lips meet. Patroclus makes a huff of surprise before kissing him back with a ferocious hunger.
After a week of Achilles asking stupid questions, like whether Patroclus could transform into a bat, their relationship was fine. He thought it would be awkward, dating a mortal, but it's completely normal. Achilles doesn't care about the fact that Patroclus is a vampire.
Briseis somehow figured out they were together before he even told her. He suspects that she was involved in the whole confession, but she won't admit it.
“Pat! Wear a jacket; you'll get cold." Achilles throws his jacket over his shoulders and grabs his hand.
Patroclus also has another person to nag on him. “I won't freeze,” he adds with false annoyance. “You must forget I'm not a human,” he mutters.
Achilles smirks. “You're the one who thought I was a werewolf.”
He rolls his eyes. Since that night, Briseis and Achilles keep making fun of how he thought Achilles was a werewolf. Patroclus doesn't find it amusing.
Patroclus links arms with Achilles, and they walk through the park.
He could really, really get used to this, he thinks.