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"We can still make the party if you want to go. I know you were looking forward to it. And I can – I can warn Melton and everyone ahead of time if you’d like me to," Tommy offered one last time.
They had been invited to Melton's Halloween party before Billy Boils was even a concept to Evan.
And Evan had been so excited to go.
So excited.
He was going to reuse his cowboy outfit from the event the 118 was hosting. Evan had tried to get Tommy to go as a cowboy with a full-on getup as well, but Tommy had talked him down to allowing Tommy to just wear a Henley, some jeans, and a cowboy hat because, as Tommy put so eloquently, “Cowboys wear Henleys too.”
And Evan had huffed a bit about it, but he was adorable when he conceded, so long as Tommy would wear only the hat when they got back to Evan’s place after the party. And Tommy had no qualms about that.
That was the plan.
Until.
Well.
"It was already embarrassing for you and Eddie to see me like this. I'm not going to a party to show off my curse," bemoaned Evan dramatically as he curled up on the far corner of his couch, grimacing harder than Tommy had ever seen Evan do before.
And.
And it wasn't as if Tommy had expected Evan to change his mind.
But it hurt to see Evan like this.
Sure, Evan had boils at the moment; intense, enormous boils; bigger boils than Tommy had ever seen on a person.
And it was definitely from stress.
It was the spiral of thinking about this supposed "curse" and Billy Boils which was causing and exacerbating the skin condition. Tommy was sure of that.
Tommy hated that Evan kept avoiding Tommy because of it.
It was their day off.
It was their day off between shifts and Tommy had cleared his schedule to take care of Evan as his shoulder healed and ever since the boils appeared, Evan had been keeping his distance.
Tommy had told Evan they didn't bother Tommy.
They really didn’t.
Tommy wasn’t so shallow.
Yes, Tommy had jumped and screamed when he first saw the boils, but that wasn't because he was grossed out. It was just a surprise to see the boils.
There was a self-consciousness to it; to this distance Evan had made all on his own. This self-destructive distance. Tommy had been kicking himself for even mentioning his cousin's hives because he could see it in Evan's eyes. He could see that Evan didn't want Tommy to think he was gross.
Even now, Evan was turned away from Tommy; was fully facing the wall; had put his hoodie back on and hid under the hood. And even when Tommy managed to do something to take care of his boyfriend, Evan avoided letting Tommy near him.
Tommy just wanted to touch his damn boyfriend.
Cuddle Evan.
Maybe.
Maybe help Evan relax.
Relaxing would probably help with the boils. Distracting Evan from any thoughts about some dastardly curse put upon him by some harum-scarum outlaw would do Tommy’s boyfriend some good.
But.
Evan was determined to spiral for the rest of the night it seemed. Maybe for the entire week. And usually, Tommy enjoyed Evan’s hyper fixations. He really did. It was wonderful hearing Evan talk about something he deeply cared about.
But.
This particular one was really not the best thing for Evan’s health if the boils told Tommy anything.
"Okay," said Tommy as he inched his way toward the couch, "Let's stay in, then."
"You can, uh. You can go if you'd like to. It feels rude if both of us don't go. We already RSVPed," mumbled Evan to the wall.
And okay.
That hurt a little more than Evan avoiding Tommy.
Tommy silently sat down on the other side of the couch, trying to find the words for how he felt about that statement.
"… Do you really think I would go to a party without you when you're injured and – and cursed?" asked Tommy, stumbling on saying cursed.
Because while Tommy didn't believe in the curse, Evan definitely did. And if Evan believed in the curse, Tommy wasn't going to fully knock the idea, even if he didn't believe.
Evan turned to face Tommy and he looked remorseful.
"Sorry. Hey. No. I – I don't think that," said Evan, reaching out for Tommy's hand, "I know you wouldn't. I'm just – I'm a hot guy."
Tommy.
Laughed.
"Yes. You're a hot guy. I know that. It’s a selling point for sure," said Tommy, a little amused by Evan's frustrated noises.
"No, I mean – a lot of people I've dated. Or – or hooked up with in the past. The first thing they said if they listed what they liked about me. The first thing consistently was – was my looks," explained Evan, shrinking into himself, "Sometimes, that was the only thing they said they liked about me."
Oh.
Oh.
"Evan. You're still hot," said Tommy, and that made Evan let out one harsh laugh, "You are, Evan. It's a temporary skin condition."
“I look like a mask you can get from a Spirit of Halloween,” countered Evan.
And.
Okay.
Evan wasn’t exactly wrong about that.
“Evan,” said Tommy softly as he inched a little closer to his boyfriend, “I don’t just like you because you’re hot. I mean. It’s a plus. If I was making a pros and cons list, that’s on the pros side. But It’s really not the main reason I’m dating you.”
Evan.
Didn’t look as if he really believed Tommy.
Evan mumbled, “Name three other reasons, then.”
Tommy hated this. He hated that Evan felt this self-conscious. That past baggage made him worry this way. There was no way to stop whatever happened to Evan in the past.
But.
But maybe making sure Evan knew it wasn’t just that now would help; that there was so much more to Evan than his looks that drew Tommy in.
Maybe that would help.
Tommy squeezed Evan’s hand, smiling fondly into Evan’s eyes as he answered.
“You care.”
“I care?”
Tommy nodded.
“You care so deeply. And openly. And passionately. You don’t let anything stop you from – from showing your emotions usually. Acting on your feelings and your want to be there for the people you love. I literally met you because you wanted to save a person you view as a father. You risked your career, jail time, and your own life to fly into a hurricane on Hen’s hunch, then went into a capsized cruise ship in order to save the people you love. Because you care so much. And – and I wish I was that brave. I wish I could be that open. It’s beautiful. I’m a little jealous of how you can act that way. Well. Maybe a little more than just a little.”
“You – you were there too. How do you not see how brave you were?” asked Evan, “You cared enough about a friend you hadn’t seen in years to help her based on a hunch. You risked the same things I did.”
“Well, I’d never bet against Hen’s instincts. They’re rarely wrong from my experience,” offered Tommy, “But that’s not the point of what I’m saying. Another thing I like about you – you’re so smart.”
Evan scoffed.
“I flunked out of community college,” said Evan, dismissive of himself.
“School isn’t built for everyone. And you’re constantly learning in your own spare time. You have so much random knowledge about so many things. I’m in awe. Every time. Even if it’s the middle of the night and – and I’m half-asleep, I find myself listening to every single fact you say about killer bees and emergency plane landings and dead outlaws. And from all the stories I’ve heard about you on calls, it’s clear that you’re fantastic when you need to think on your feet for a solution to a problem. You’re so smart, Evan.”
“I, uh. I guess that’s true. About thinking on my feet. And the random stuff I know,” said Evan, conceding that fact.
“And I need you to not tell Eddie I’m telling you this because he’s going to kill me for possibly encouraging this sort of behavior, but, uh. You’re – you’re cute when you’re jealous. Or a little bit of a control freak. Or falling into a hyperfixation rabbit hole, which isn’t always that bad, but I still think it’s adorable when it kind of gets so bad that you’re talking for hours on end about a subject and then I find myself staying up all night just listening to you talking about the history of forks because I can’t find it in me to stop you and I think you kind of get stuck on a very specific thing sometimes.”
“What?” laughed Evan, “You know those are bad traits, right?”
“But I – I like them too. The good. The bad. I like all of you,” said Tommy softly, “I just like you. Being near you. Talking with you. Being with you. I really like you, Evan.”
I really love you.
But.
That would be too soon.
Right?
Tommy couldn’t say that now.
Evan.
Sort of.
Melted at that.
“Tommy. No one’s ever said something like that to me,” whispered Evan; as if what had happened might be rescinded if Evan said it too loudly.
“Well. I’m saying it to you now, so…” Tommy affirmed, just.
Smiling at Evan.
Tommy.
Leaned closer.
Slowly.
But surely.
And Evan seemed so distracted; by everything Tommy had told him; by Tommy’s lips.
Tommy kissed his boyfriend.
Softly.
And kindly.
And he felt Evan’s hand gently cradle the back of his head; felt Evan sigh into the kiss. And it was a relaxed thing, the kiss.
It was I love you.
It was stop worrying, please.
It was the skin condition isn’t scaring me.
It was let me kiss you like I did our first time.
Because Tommy, unlike his exterior might project, was a romantic at heart. He was gentle with those he loved. And all he ever wanted to be with Evan was gentle unless Evan set a more passionate pace.
When Tommy ended the kiss, Evan’s eyes seemed to be so unfocused; so lost in that kiss; flittering between Tommy’s lips and his eyes.
“Was that okay?” whispered Tommy as his hand reached out to cup Evan’s face and –
Evan became suddenly aware of his surroundings as he stopped Tommy’s hand from reaching his face, trying to cover up the clear panic by – by holding Tommy’s hand at an awkward angle.
“That’s, uh – you’re so – ” Evan flailed as he pieced together some semblance of a sentence, “Nice try. Uh. No need. To. Uh. Touch that. Eddie said the texture was, uh – you’re not touching the curse boils.”
The curse felt less like the boils and more like Evan spiraling about how Tommy could possibly react to the boils.
“Hey. It’s okay,” said Tommy as he tenderly took Evan’s hand and kissed the back of it, “If we’re staying in, let’s relax a bit.”
Evan stared at Tommy; some of that worry gone as he echoed, “Relax a bit.”
Tommy nodded.
Tommy patted Evan’s hand before standing up, and despite Evan’s insecurities, he seemed reluctant to let Tommy go.
“I’ll make some popcorn. We can decompress. Watch a movie or two. Hang out. Just us,” offered Tommy.
“That, uh. That sounds good to me,” said Evan as he turned to his television, “I think I need a movie night.”
“Good,” said Tommy as he headed over to the kitchen, “You choose the movie. I’ll make the popcorn.”
“I heard there’s a film based on Billy Boil’s final days,” suggested Evan, and Tommy really wished he hadn’t let Evan choose the movie, or at least given Evan options for movies.
But it was too late to stop the Billy Boils train, it seemed.
“There’s a movie about him?” asked Tommy as he started prepping to make popcorn.
Tommy wouldn’t say he was the best chef. He wasn’t as good of a cook as Evan. But Evan had taught Tommy how to make popcorn on the stove. After a few lessons from Evan and realizing he made popcorn better when Evan wasn’t distracting teaching Tommy how to make popcorn like it was the pottery scene in Ghost, well, Tommy found that that he was actually pretty good at making popcorn.
“I think it’s called Just for Some Spare Change. It’s a Spaghetti Western,” explained Evan as he checked the streaming services for the film, “It might have also been inspired by a Kurosawa film too? So, it’s not exactly accurate to Boils’ story, but the core of it’s supposed to resonate with what happened to Billy. It’s not like Tombstone doesn’t take liberties about Wyatt Earp, Doc Holliday, and the shootout at the OK Corral.”
“You read that entire Substack about Mr. McCurdy. Do you think a film about him will help?” asked Tommy in a last-ditch effort to stop this.
“Maybe it will give me some insight about the curse,” said Evan as he found the film, “Wow. I think the guy who plays Billy only acted in this film. Boils strikes again.”
“Did he die on set or something?” asked Tommy, trying not to panic at that idea.
“No. He just. Wasn’t in another film. Kind of like how the guy who played Count Orlock in Nosferatu wasn’t in a lot of films either,” explained Evan as he scrolled through his phone, “But still. Boils struck.”
Tommy.
Looked up the actor who played William James McCurdy on his phone.
“The internet tells me he owned a successful floral shop after the film flopped,” countered Tommy.
“But was his acting career successful?” asked Evan as if it were a gotcha, “Boils. It’s Billy Boils.”
Tommy poured the popcorn into a large bowl, seasoning it with melted butter and some of the salt Evan specially bought for popcorn.
“You got me. He was only in this film,” said Tommy as he wandered over to the couch and handed Evan the popcorn bowl.
Tommy inspected Evan.
And.
“Lift your head again,” Tommy said softly as he pulled the pillow that Evan had used last night from the armchair.
Evan did as he was told as Tommy set the pillow behind Evan and fluffed it just so.
“How’s that?” whispered Tommy.
“Uh, yeah, that’s uh, that’s great,” Evan fumbled a bit, smiling up at Tommy.
Tommy pulled down the throw blanket he had used last night and placed it over them both.
“Tommy – ” Evan started to say, but Tommy stopped him.
“I’m having a movie night with my boyfriend. I can share a blanket with him,” said Tommy, gently but firmly.
And.
Evan didn’t seem to have the will to fight that idea. Probably because he liked sharing blankets with Tommy. Tommy grabbed the remote, relaxing on the couch as he draped an arm over Evan’s shoulder.
“This okay?” asked Tommy.
Because.
Evan had been avoiding Tommy all day. And while Tommy wanted to be close to Evan, well, he wouldn’t push Evan’s comfort level if he wasn’t in the mood to cuddle.
Evan gazed at Tommy and there seemed to be a battle in Evan’s mind; a mix of panic and relief at the question. And unlike the rest of that day, well, the relief won.
“Yeah,” said Evan settling in, “This is okay. It’s always okay.”
Tommy settled in as well before pointing the remote to the television.
“Maybe this will make you feel better about your cowboy,” said Tommy as he turned the movie on.
And.
Saw.
What.
James William McCurdy looked like.
Evan stiffened in Tommy’s arm.
“It’s a coincidence,” Tommy said immediately.
“His boils are where my boils are,” announced Evan.
“They’re – they’re similar,” Tommy protested, but he could see what Evan was seeing, “This is an artistic representation. It’s probably not even how his boils actually looked.”
“He put them on me where his boils were,” lamented Evan.
“The, uh. The actor is still pretty hot, though,” offered Tommy, “Despite the boils.”
Because.
Well.
Okay.
Tommy could see why the man was chosen for the role. Truly, a perfect jawline. And how did a man get a mustache to look that good? And that seventies hair? Lucious.
“Because it’s a movie. Everyone’s hot in a movie,” said Evan.
And then.
Tommy realized why the film flopped.
Because.
This man playing Billy Boils had the worst American accent Tommy had ever heard in his life. It sounded like it was constantly shifting between a heavy Venetian accent, a Mid-Atlantic accent, and a terrible Clint Eastwood impression.
Even Evan was laughing at it.
“What – what was that?” asked Evan, laughing harder as the sound effects used for the film didn’t quite make sense for what was happening in the scene.
“I think we’re seeing why this film flopped?” snickered Tommy, because.
As the film went on.
It was.
Tommy wasn’t sure if it was so bad that it was good. It was more bewildering than anything. The acting choices, the heavy use of Dutch angles for no apparent reason, the tacked-on love interest that wasn’t at all in the Substack Evan had read – it was all a series of bad choices.
“Who even is Katie Lovely?” asked Evan, a little offended, “She’s not even a real person. They added her because if they didn’t, there would be questions.”
“Oh. You’re telling me a film from the seventies about cowboys was straightwashing a historical figure?” Tommy asked, deadpan.
“Okay. I mean. I shouldn’t be surprised. But it is a shame,” Evan said, “It’s unnecessary. Billy Boils was all but confirmed to be a bachelor with very little interest in most people unless they had to do with his heists, and that was more for a professional or friendly interest than anything. He even talks about how he finds people’s obsession with sex to be quite strange in his journal entries.”
“Huh,” said Tommy, “You know, Marylin Monroe was like that too.”
Because, sometimes, Tommy knew facts.
“That’s – I didn’t know that. But anyway, the only time he seemed to be close to someone that way was with this guy who went by the name Belvidere Pete,” explained Evan, “He wasn’t even an outlaw. He owned an inn over in Temecula – The Desert Rose. Billy risked a lot of danger to frequently visit the Desert Rose. He usually shared a room and a bed with Pete and sent these honestly kind of beautiful letters to Belvidere Pete? It was a very ‘and they were roommates’ vibe and a lot of earlier historians tried to ignore the gushing affection he had for Belvidere Pete in favor of describing it as ‘good friends’. Not that Pete would even be seen in this film. He died six months before Billy was betrayed. Consumption. But it feels like a shitty thing to have Billy have this affair with fake Katie Lovely in the Desert Rose Inn.”
“Yeah. That is kind of shitty,” agreed Tommy.
“Also, they’ve whitewashed half of the gang,” said Evan.
“Also not surprising.”
“Yeah. But – but it’s still annoying. They’re not even getting the deaths right. Mean Steve died during a fight after a poker match and Joe the Crook fell off a balcony drunk.”
“Because this film is applauded for its historical accuracy.”
“I’m just saying,” grumbled Evan into a yawn as they watched the credits scroll by on the screen, “It could have been a little closer to the truth.”
Evan had shifted positions during the film.
In increments, Tommy had found Evan cuddling closer and closer to Tommy, almost forgetting the facial predicament he had as he practically had his head in Tommy’s lap now. Tommy had absentmindedly given Evan little massages; back rubs and scalp scratches, and just – just pampering Evan a bit. He even had Evan relaxed enough to not think much when he started massaging Evan’s hands.
It was nice.
The ridiculously bad movie was nice.
Getting to be close to Evan? taking care of Evan? Was nice.
Cuddling again was nice.
And it almost felt like Evan was starting to stop thinking about the curse; about Billy Boils and the stress of it all.
“If you want to watch a different western, I think we have time for one more before we need to go to bed,” said Tommy as he continued to massage one of Evan’s hands, “You got so little sleep last night, Evan. We should try to get to bed early so that you’re not too tired tomorrow for your shift.”
“I – I would – ” Evan started to say before.
Before he.
Seemed to notice what position he was in now.
That he had forgotten about the boils.
Evan.
Sat up.
“You know what? Dealer’s choice. I trust you,” said Evan as he grabbed his pillow, “I am getting tired. I should – I should head back to the armchair. In case I fall asleep during the next movie.”
Tommy.
Held onto the hand he had been massaging only seconds ago.
“If – if you start falling asleep, I’ll help you over there. Or – or I’ll wake you up and get you to the armchair,” said Tommy, and Tommy felt a little pathetic as he added quietly, “Stay over here. Just for a little while longer.”
Because.
Tommy missed his boyfriend.
Which was probably a little too needy. Tommy had been with Evan ever since he got to Evan’s hospital room yesterday.
He just.
Got a little clingy when it was just Evan and himself.
And Tommy felt a little selfish wanting Evan to curl up next to him for a little while longer.
But.
But Evan was his boyfriend.
So, maybe it was okay to want that.
Evan seemed to fold immediately to Tommy’s request.
“Yeah,” said Evan softly as he sat back down on the couch; as he got back under the blanket, “I – I can stay over here for a little while longer. Of course.”
Tommy didn’t really have boyfriends who went along with Tommy’s frivolous requests before.
It was.
It was nice.
Being with Evan was – it was so different compared to a lot of Tommy’s bad luck in love.
It felt like it could last.
This could last.
Tommy hoped it did.
“Since I get to pick, I want to watch Practical Magic,” said Tommy, because Halloween was tomorrow and Tommy did enjoy watching a good seasonal romcom.
“Not a western?” asked Evan.
“You said I could choose. You shouldn’t have given me that much power,” laughed Tommy as he found the film.
“I don’t really care what film we watch. As long as I’m watching something with you,” said Evan as he let himself lean on Tommy.
And.
Tommy couldn’t help but feel his heart skip a beat at that sentence.
And.
Maybe Tommy stole a quick kiss from his boyfriend before he started the next film.
Curled up with Evan on the couch.
And.
Tommy wasn’t sure if this would help; if the boils will go down by Evan’s shift tomorrow. But he hoped it helped. And it was at least nice to be near his boyfriend again. Tommy was happy about that as he snuggled a little closer to Evan.