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He hated when he did this.
Granted the fight had been rather bad, he won't lie. It was actually one of the worst ones they've had in a while and the more Hidan thought about it the more terrible he felt. Even the giant fluffballs were side eyeing him as he pushed his silver hair back from his face as he just started to feel more and more pissed off at how bad he was feeling.
The only reason he had gone into Kakuzu's wallet was to look at when his birthday was and the old miser flew off the handle. It wasn't like he was trying to steal his credit card or anything-he had learned his lesson when that happened-and he even made sure not to take any of the loose bills! As he walked around the four tibetan mastiffs who all look so forlornly at the door that their owner had stormed out five hours ago.
Hidan was never known for patience. In the first two hours he's been beating a punching bag set up in the living room until he grew bored; it just didn't compare to punching someone in the nose and breaking it. Then he tried just taking the four giant balls of fur out in the yard to try and play with them so he could try to calm his growing ire. Instead the four beasts just walked around as if not interested in the ball; too worried about their owner's absence.
Now as the fifth hour starts to turn into the sixth, Hidan was ready to start breaking things when his phone goes off. He picks it up as the ring tone for Deidara blares through their home.
"What is it, blondie? Did the puppet man suddenly keel over in his workshop? I told you you gotta take him out into the open air and sunshine or-"
"Hidan you need to come out and get your old man husband, i think he's finally snapped."
Hidan blinked slowly, "...Hah?"
"Just get down here, Sasori can't hold him back much longer, i think he's going to kill someone-AH NO PUT THAT DOWN!"
He blinked slowly, looking down at his phone in silent disbelief when he can hear more shouting in the background before the phone hangs up with a click. As he processes what he heard, he feels one of the big furballs rub against his sweat pant clad leg. For once Hidan was genuinely concerned as he brushed some crumbs from a snack early off his chest and then pulled on his jacket. He gripped his silver pendant with a frown as he rushed out.
That...wasn't like Kakuzu. Sure he would go somewhere to cool down for a while and perhaps spend some time with a friend or two, but to go crazy somewhere that made Hidan's old college roommate and one of few friends he had was calling him?
Still this was Kakuzu they were talking about. it couldn't be going as bad as Deidara was making it sound right?
...
Hidan has never been more wrong as he approached the local bar he and his friends liked to frequent on weekends and the first thing he sees is the all too familiar tattooed back of his miser of a husband who was shirtless and standing up on the bar.
He was now just wearing his black pants and boots while attempting to climb away from Deidara and his boyfriend, the latter looking deeply frustrated as he grabbed at his red hair with a growl on his face. Judging by the amount of shot glasses and beer mugs on the counter it seemed Kakuzu had gone a little bit overboard. It certainly threw Hidan for a loop as Kakuzu wasn't usually a big drinker.
"Kakuzu-san, if you don't get down now you'll make yourself fall and break a hip and then Hidan will kill us for not catching you-WATCH YOUR STEP, UN!" the blond scrambled when kakuzu looked about to fall from where he was reaching towards the chandelier, "Oh fuck me, Sasori we need to get him down!"
Hidan's eye brows met his hairline when Kakuzu hisses like an angry cat when the two try to grab him again which in turn has Deidara recoil with a squeak.
"Shaddup! I don' wanna hear shit 'bout Hidan...he jus' does whatever he wantsh!" Kakuzu drunkenly snapped at them, "Doeshn't care how much I scrounge and save to make sure we 'ave everythin' we need..!"
"I'm sure that's not true," Sasori tries to be soothing, while shuffling around as if he was dealing with a wild animal instead of a drunk man.
Kakuzu hissed as he reached again for the chandelier that hung over the car, his eyes unfocused, "He doesn'! Jus' goes through money 'fore I can blink! I told 'im i gib him an' allowance an' he just blows through it like nothin'! Then he just goes through m' fuckin' wallet!"
His hands curled into fists as he listens to the drunk rant; his knuckles pale as his face become red in barely contained anger. His concern was overwhelmed by the sudden surge of righteous rage from their argument earlier. Ugh just like the miser, always assuming the worse of him! Sure he didn't have anymore money from the allowance Kakuzu gave him but that's because he had something special planned for his birthday, he had just needed the date to give the delivery services!
Oh he should just leave this asshole and let him get himself hurt for calling him a thief without even listening to his side-
"Kakuzu come on, it's not like Hidan doesn't make his own money, un," Deidara moved back and forth, not yet having noticed Hidan had arrived, "You shouldn't give him an allowance if he can't be responsible with it!"
"Yesh I do! Cause he shouldn' have to scrounge for it at home! Jus' wish he'd tell me instead o' fuckin' goin' through my wallet for more! Lil' jerk shoulda jus' asked!" Kakuzu grabbed one of the lamps on the chandelier and he then began to take a step forwards, "Uuugh, help me up th' damn stairs, i can' focus-"
"KAKUZU THAT'S NOT THE STAIRS-!" Sasori rushed as he started to take a step.
Kakuzu blinked as his hand is unable to hold his weight in his inebriated state. However instead of meeting the hard wood floor of the bar, he grunts when instead he lands in what feels like a pair of arms. He blinked when the owner of them stumbled around a moment cursing up a storm.
"Fucking heeeell, old man you fucking eat the whole bare or what?" Hidan hissed as he struggles to keep his husband held up. His face was becoming a bit red from exertion but dammit if he hadn't then Kakuzu would probably have broken his hip or dislocated his knee!, "Come on, let's get some water in you or some shit, just what the hell are you doing drinking all this shit?'
The older man blinked tiredly before his ass is sat down in a chair. When the room stopped spinning he blinked, scarred cheeks flushed and finally focusing on Hidan.
"..Hidaaaan..." he suddenly hugged his waist and rests his chin on the other's pale chest, "I thought you were hooooome...what're ya doin' here huh...?"
Hidan sighed heavily, "Saving you from yourself, asshole. Honestly you are wasted as fuck..."
"You went through m' wallet...an' ya spent all that yen on stuff and 'm stressed out...stupid brat...' he huffed at his younger husband before blinking blearily. The room was spinning again after all before he heard a loud sigh. Then cool hands hold his face and he blinks to refocus on Hidan.
"You old idiot, if you'd just let me talk I woulda told you that I was just looking for your birth date on your license! Besides you think I'm so stupid as to go through your wallet when I know you will help me? Sure you'll bitch about it, but like...come on Kakuzu we've been married over five years...Come on drink some water, we'll put some food in you and then we need to get home to the dogs."
Kakuzu grumbled, however his eyes had softened a bit before Hidan pulled off his jacket to put on him, "...Why'd ya go through all your allowance though?"
Hidan snorted, "I'd be a pretty horrible husband not to have a present prepared for you on your birthday. Now stay here, and I'll go see if I can squeeze some money out of Deidara and puppet man."
Green eyes followed Hidan slowly and Kakuzu blinked blearily after him. As he made sense of the explanation he slowly slumped in the chair with his eyes half lidded while waiting for food. A slow smile tired smile graced his mouth before he started to feel tired when Hidan was walking back over to him.
For a moment as he rests his eyes he thinks he felt a kiss to the top of his head.