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It was all Kaminari’s fault, that electric yellow rat with less common sense than a table had.
One might have said that Katsuki was being mean, but he gave no shits. All his friends were their own flavor of stupid, but Kaminari was special. He was like the duke of dumbasses, a baron of brainless, a delphin of dorks. Katsuki was a saint for not strangling him during all the years of their friendship.
Of course, as always, Kaminari wasn’t alone in this state of asking - begging, really - to be violently murdered by Bakugo. Noo, Sero was always happy to goad the rest into following his hairbrained ideas and Kirishima was just an energetic and airheaded puppy that lended his strength and help to any stupidity going on, especially if Mina smiled at him.
Ancestors, sometimes Katsuki wondered if those weren’t his friends, but demons sent from the frozen wastes of hell to torment him into an early grave.
The most recent idiocy sprang on Katsuki by the dumb squad was a fairy house. A little wooden contraption looking like a fancy bird house hanging from the corner of his balcony that faced the royal gardens. Katsuki was especially mad about the existence of the innocuous thing because he liked to spend time on that balcony, especially during afternoons, and yet it took him a whole week to notice the little thing, nestled where the climbing vines reached from the garden to the roof and provided shade and a hint of green to his quarters.
He glared at the just discovered unauthorized addition to his living space, as if the house would grow wings and fly away on its own. He pondered throwing it at Kaminari’s head the next time the idiot showed his stupid mug in his room.
It wasn’t like fairies would haul ass into the royal compound only to squat in that shack. They liked forests and pretty meadows, not capitols of the fucking kingdom ruled by aptly named Dragon Queen Mitsuki Bakugo For fuck’s sake, the closest forest was a half day travel north from there.
In the end Katsuki decided to let the house be. There was no tactical advantage to throwing shit at Kaminari, even if it was entertaining at times. He decided not to draw attention to the thing and just ignore it. It was highly possible the idiots just waited for him to start complaining about it so they could poke fun at him.
So, the fairy house stayed, the little structure actually not badly crafted, and furnished with miniscule bed and a chest of drawers, a tiny kitchen area and a sitting room with itty bitty pillows on a rug next to a table. Katsuki definitely didn’t look inside to check if all that stuff was there, neither did he wonder what half brained idiot created all that shit. The Dragon Prince had better things to do than to act on curiosity about a dumb fairy house. He most certainly didn't rearrange the vines to make sure the wind wouldn’t rock the thing too much.
And after not doing all that Katsuki genuinely forgot about the thing. His friends, collectively having an attention span of a mosquito in a storm, never hinted at their little prank. Weeks passed with Katsuki coming and going into the balcony to rest, to read, to curse up a storm. Chilly spring changed to wet summer and the flower bushes in the gardens swayed under the light drizzle, colors vibrant whenever sunlight managed to reach through the clouds.
That was when Katsuki, stalking into the enclosed balcony space with a blanket over his shoulders - fuck you, he planned to have a goddamn nap, he earned it after a morning with stupid people -
noticed a laundry line. A tiny piece of string between the corner of the house and one of the rods supporting the vines, with itty bitty shirts and loose pants clipped to it with miniscule wooden clips. An honest to ancestors laundry line full of fairy clothes. There was even - Katsuki did not blush when he noticed it - a few pairs of what looked like loincloths among the drying fabrics in all shades of green and blue.
Katsuki almost killed himself when he tried to stealthily stumble back and his feet got captured by his blanket. Somehow he managed to get back into the room without orphaning his parents and making a fool of himself. He cursed, mightily glad there was no one there to witness his graceless but successful retreat.
He tried to give the fairy space and privacy, he was not an asshole, but he liked his balcony and would not abandon his safe haven. The shitty fly person would have to learn to share or they would have to move out.
He always made sure that the pest got lots of forewarning if they wanted to hide or flee before he entered the balcony, stomping even more than usual and groaning loudly that he needed fresh air. It was a blessing that his stupid friends usually didn’t snoop behind closed doors so there was little possibility one would wander in there when Katsuki closed the glass door and pulled the curtains closed whenever they infested his space. And, to his silent delight - which he wouldn’t voice even if you promised him a grueling fight - the unseen pest remained in the house.
Over the weeks they coexisted, Bakugo never caught a glimpse of his squatter, and as the time progressed into the height of summer, with far more sunlight and less rain, Katsuki found himself growing curious. He really didn’t want to be that obsessive asshole who would trap and creep over a member of a mysterious magical race, but damn, who wouldn’t get just a bit curious?
One day he finally decided to get it over with. He didn’t want to scare the fairy, he was a damn scary person after all, tall and with perfect physique, the fly person would be scared shitless if he frowned at them. So, he decided on an indirect approach. He found a mirror and put it in his room in a way that if he sat in his favorite spot he could see the reflected fairy house in it. Then it was just the matter of shutting his trap and entertaining himself with a book while glancing into the looking glass from time to time. It was bound to show him the shithead eventually.
They eventually came in two days, actually. Bakugo was silently angry at himself for not rigging the mirror in there earlier so he wouldn’t be wasting time speculating about his unauthorized balcony roommate. He lifted his gaze from the frankly boring book he was dared to read and spotted a flash of green. Holding in a gasp he stayed still, staring at the reflected image.
The fairy stood on the bit of plank that protruded in front of the doorway like a welcome mat, providing purchase for anyone landing to more comfortably open the door. They were wearing a green vest and blue billowy pantsEnsemble, clashing tragically with red shoes. Their hair was curly and green, windswept and long enough that only the tips of their ears stuck out. And of course the fucker had wings. They remained open, shivering with agitation, catching the stray sunlight like stained glass. Black veins curled across the butterfly shaped appendages, splotched seemingly randomly with translucent green and blue in shifting hues, golden specks scattered over them like precious dust.
Bakugo smirked when he realized the fairy had some issues with the doors. It looked like it was stuck and the little bastard was growing agitated by the second, yanking at it futilely. They even put whatever they had in a woven grass bag on the porch and used both hands to pull at the knob. Katsuki bit his bottom lip when one red shoe clad foot was placed on the doorframe to provide more leverage. With a mighty pull the door finally gave up the fight and the fairy stomped in victory, their wings shaking as if they were cursing up a storm. Then the entity calmed down, picked up their bag and went in.
The next day, armed with the smallest tools he could find, Katsuki waited for the fairy to get out of their house before he expertly fixed the door. The way the dumbass jumped back and off the porch to hover, wrapped in green lightning, in the air when the door opened at the first tug was frankly more hilarious than Mina and Kaminari toppling over into a pond which happened earlier the same day.
With both the most annoying people of his life laid sick in bed, left in questionable care of Kirishima and shitty Shinso, Katsuki let his guard down. He even let himself leave the balcony door open, knowing that his healthy friends actually knocked and waited to be called in. Which was fortunate because, as if to spite the cold ridden assholes, the weather got almost unbearably hot. Katsuki retreated to his chamber, where he kept a pitcher of water and some fruit for his afternoon unwinds from idiots and naps.
Fuck you if you laughed at the mighty Dragon Prince having afternoon naps, you uncultured dimwit, naps weren't a sign of weakness or laziness, they were refreshing. And prevented him from murdering noblemen. Or men in general.
And Katsuki wanted to murder someone because someone was sneaking into his rooms when he was gone and stealing his tactical provisions.
At first he suspected Sero, but the bastard left in the middle of the week to visit his stupid candy cane fiancée in the countryside manor he wisely kept his ass in. The fruit was still disappearing. Kirishima was basically glued to Mina’s bedside, so Katsuki couldn’t even vent to his allegedly best friend. The castle staff were all smart enough not to take something claimed by Katsuki, they had plenty of safe fruit that wasn’t hidden in his chambers to grab if they wanted.
He was about to go to Shinso of all people and demand a divination about the whole situation, ready to explode the fruit thief, but luckily he was spared the hassle.
He was dozing off in his nest of pillows in his favorite corner, shirtless and barefoot and almost ready to ditch his pants too, when a motion caught his attention. With his eyes barely cracked open, his breaths steady and body relaxed, Katsuki waited. Was it his fruit thief? A shitty wanna-be assassin? Kaminari? No, Kaminari was still whining that he was dying from sneezing in his chambers, Katsuki knew because he had made sure he was still there this morning. No, he wasn’t checking in on his friends, he just wanted to be on top of the menaces to make sure he was prepared for their return.
The balcony door, previously cracked to let in some air, but not enough to let in some shitty bugs, slowly opened fully, the breeze ruffling the white curtains. Slowly, oh so slowly, a figure walked inside, steps light and body coiled as if to bolt at any sign of danger. As they entered, they paused, probably to let their eyes adapt to the darker interior.
It was a man, short and unassuming. There was a hint of muscles in the arms and torso, and especially legs, all covered in a gaudy sleeveless tunic and billowy pants in the same shade of green, a golden belt holding the clothing wrapped at the waist. The person had their hair pulled up in a high ponytail to allow wind to cool their nape, but some strands got loose, green and coiling as they fell around their round face. Pointy ears with tiny rings studding the lobes were hard to overlook. So were the big ass green eyes that seemed to sparkle as they locked in on the corner table where Katsuki’s bowl of fruit stood.
As Katsuki cataloged the newcomer, who made his way to the bowl and was now reaching a hand for the topmost apple, more details drew his attention. There were freckles all over the dumbass. There were also scars, especially on his right arm. His stupid shirt didn’t have a back, letting him ogle - not ogle, damn it - his impressive back muscles shifting with every motion, all the way from the dimples in his lower back up to the shoulders where the front of the shirt looped around his neck.
Also, a notable characteristic of the thief was his ass. Katsuki wasn’t one to fawn over random people but that ass, outlined in those barely there pants, was eye-catching. Magnetic, almost. Bakugo wasn’t a connoisseur, since he despised most people, but he wouldn’t mind getting to know that ass and spending the rest of his life next to it, waking up next to it, fighting over the last of the cake and other sappy shit. In short, this was an ass that made the Dragon Prince consider matrimony, which up until now was not a thing that happened.
Never was the face of crime prettier than when the moment when the fucker got his stupid cheeks stuffed with Katsuki’s sweetsummer apple.
The fuckwad’s eyes glimmered with joy and pleasure like sunlight scattering through a canopy of leaves, shades of green dancing in his irises.
It took Katsuki an embarrassing amount of time to realize that the prettiest ass in the whole kingdom was robbing him of his favorite snacks.
That couldn’t stand.
And the bastard had the gall to look cute while doing that. Like a fuzzy squirrel munching on a piece of an acorn. Or a rabbit demolishing your would be carrot cake in a patch of sunlit grass. Or a whole ass person somehow able to enter the prince’s chambers and with balls to eat his supplies. He had to remember that, no matter how enthralling the vision next to his corner table was, no matter how entertaining it was to spy on the clueless shithead.
Calling for guards was a stupid idea. Well, it wasn’t stupid in general, but what kind of a dumbass prince would call for help against one unarmed idiot with juice sticky fingers? Katsuki was prouder than that, fuck you very much. He could pretend he was still asleep, but the opportunity to catch the thief was too tempting to pass, plus he wasn’t one to sit on his hands. He much more would prefer to sit in the stranger’s lap. Restraining him. Like, to contain the criminal. Nothing more, nah-ah, no other reason.
He could detain the thief and get to know him. Learn why he chose the path of idiotic crime and resocialize him. Then he could court that perky ass up to the wedding vows. Then they’d go on a fuckass long and kickass awesome trip all around the country and then push the mummy of a queen to retire already and take up gardening with her husband which she always wanted to do. Together he could sit on the best chair in the kingdom with this greeneyed menace and blast the land into the new era of prosperity and awesomeness.
The fruit thief mumbled happily to himself as he reached for the last apple in the bowl, scorning oranges and pears, and knocking Katsuki out of imagining his father’s pearl and malachite crown on his terrible mop of hair.
“Fuck, that’s the last apple in the castle,” Katsuki exclaimed, bolting upwards. There was no bloody chance in hell he would let that cute ass eat the last apple.
What happened next Katsuki would later recall like a fever dream. At once the thief leaped in the air, squeaking like a hare, then swirled on his feet and bolted for the balcony window. Katsuki was too fast though and he threw himself at the escaping future of his, tackling the dickwad to the carpeted floor with a muffled grunt. They rolled together in an uncanny convulsion of limbs and exclamations, until finally Katsuki found himself sitting on the prone thief, glaring down in gorgeous greens, both panting from the adrenaline and exertion. Katsuki held one sturdy wrist in his grip and was blindly grasping for the other before he dared to glance to locate the wayward arm.
The fucker was still holding the last apple, shiny and perfect.
“That’s my apple,” he declared and the thief blinked up at him. Then his gaze flicked to the fruit. The next second Katsuki was punched with the said apple straight into his lips.
He staggered just for a second, his lips hurting from being smashed against his teeth. Before he could get his bearings the weasel weaseled from under him and was making it towards the balcony.
That juicy ass appeared right in front of his face as the man leaped to sprint off and Katsuki grabbed.
He grabbed the hand still holding his poor apple. He wasn’t a creep that would grope a person, be it a criminal or not. He was a prince, goddammit.
The dumbass cried out in panic at being caught and Katsuki gave him a wicked grin. They looked at each other over their hands clasped around the apple, both stubborn and unwilling to back down even for something so trivial.
It was magical.
What was even more magical was when the motherfucker winked out of existence in a rush of mint green light, only to be replaced by a tiny figure of the fairy, green lightning dancing around him in angry wild arcs while his wings fluttered like mad and tiny hands gripped at the apple with all the force of a draw horse pulling a carriage. Which made perfect sense, because somehow the itty bitty thing was actually dragging Katsuki, still kneeling and all, across the carpet.
“Let go already!” the fairy demanded in a strangely low voice for someone so small.
“Fuck you!” Exclaimed Katsuki, who had never in his life let go of anything he’d claimed as his without a major battle.
“Not with that attitude!” argued the fairy and Bakugo’s brain paused for a second, a split moment, which was taken advantage of by his opponent. In a flash the apple was gone from his grasp and the fairy hefted it over his head with an angry scowl.
Then, without any pause, the ethereal being chucked the fruit at Katsuki, who was just coming out from a daze. With an angry buzz the fairy flew out of the room, leaving in his wake the Dragon Prince with busted lip bleeding all over his carpet and a swelling bruise around his left eye. The poor, abused apple rolled under the corner table, forgotten for now.
Frankly, Katsuki expected the fairy to pack his shit and leave, so he didn’t go on the balcony for the rest of the day to let him do that in peace. After cooling and putting himself into order Katsuki begrudgingly admitted to himself that arguing over an apple with a fairy was a stupid idea. Not worth spooking the little shit and getting mauled by the owner of the prettiest eyes in the kingdom.
So, imagine his shock when the next morning he felt a delicate breeze on his face and worried muttering from above him in that squeaky voice. He almost held his breath when he felt the pillow shift a little on the side where he got hit and a tiny warm hand tentatively touched the swollen bruise. But that would have alerted the dumbass that he was awake, so Katsuki continued breathing calm, curious what the fucker would do next. It wasn’t like he could decode the illegible mutters.
“Sorry,” that one word was legible though, spoken in genuine apology and paired with a pressure of something soft against his skin. Then, a square of cloth, not bigger than a handkerchief, was draped over his poor eye, slightly damp and smelling of herbs. And then the stunned prince was left alone, free to blink his good eye open and lift his hand up to almost brush over the spot the fairy had kissed.
Fuck you, he wasn’t blushing.
Deciding that Bakugo Katsuki would not be the one upped by a butterfly person, he set his mind to go about apologizing for his own fuck up of the previous day. Because he was himself he had a perfect plan.
It sadly included going to the town, but he decided to kill two birds with one stone and got his friends to go out with him. Mina was recovered enough to join the party, but Kaminari was still not in the green, so he was left to pout and hope they remembered to get him sweets from his favorite bakery. The group went through the market and the array of shops like a whirlwind of chaos, Katsuki keeping an eye open for stuff he needed and getting it while the rest was distracted with their regular antics. In the end he was left with a bag and a charm.
Back in his rooms, the idiot assembly sent off to torture poor Kaminari, Katsuki got to his plan. He hauled into his room a small bookcase, reaching only to mid chest, and put all the books and notebooks, and other shit inside it. Then he used the charm to shrink that lot enough that the case was not longer than his palm. Carefully, he picked the object, setting the charm aside for later use and made his way to the balcony. Slowly, he approached the fairy house and maneuvered the bookcase to stand on the porch right next to the door. Then, almost smiling at the stupidity of all that, he gently knocked on the wall before retreating to give the fairy space to check out his totally badass gift.
See, Katsuki knew this particular dumbass was a nerd. He’d found a bunch of scattered leaves with tiny notes written on them on his balcony table on multiple occasions and even though he hadn’t tried to read that shit he was sure the nerd could find some use for real deal notebooks and pencils. He even got those colored ones because Katsuki never halfassed anything.
The kerchief, still faintly smelling of herbs that had made his swollen eye heal much faster, was now folded neatly in his night table drawer.
To Katsuki’s delight he got to his sitting spot just in time to watch the green dumbass in the mirror. The fairy tentatively peered from the cracked door and it took him a moment to notice the piece of furniture. Cautiously, he stepped out and approached the bookcase, inspecting it, opening one wing of the case to pull out a book. Katsuki briefly wondered if it was the coloring book with flowers he got among the more serious tomes of botany, lore on fairies and other miscellaneous topics. He really hoped the idiot would appreciate the coloring book, it cost a lot and he also had to add the coloring pencils to the purchase for it to make sense. More books were pulled and opened reverently, the fairy inspecting them with gentle fingers before putting them back. Then he closed the bookcase and lit up with his magic to haul the whole thing inside the house and Katsuki was denied seeing what other reactions his apology gift had. He did not pout at losing the entertaining spectacle and instead turned towards his low desk to reach for a stack of mail waiting to be read. He was a respectable young man and seriously approached his duties. He managed to draft an answer to one letter, knowing he had to rewrite it sans insults later when his distraction was used against him.
He was ambushed. In his own damn room, on his own sitting pillow, There was no forewarning, honestly. One minute he sat there, straightening his back, the next a thick garland was looped around his neck and falling softly over his chest. He blinked at the pink and red petals twice before he realized that they weren't a figment of his imagination.
Head lifting sharply, he saw a glimpse of smug green hovering over him, iridescent wings stuttering light around the entity with otherworldly beauty. Big ass round green eyes looked down at him with unabashed adoration.
“You got me books,”
The fairy chimed happily. “Thank you so much.”
Katsuki wanted to smirk and say something along the lines that he knew he was a nerd, but somehow on the way from his brain to the tongue the words twisted.
“So, you ain’t mad right? Are you gonna stay?” was what left his mouth. He winced at the desperate words and opened his mouth to retract them and regain some dignity, but was stunned silent when the fairy dove down and he found himself with a lapful of a more human-like person. It made things to his insides.
“Of course I’ll stay,” the fairy promised and patted the garland over his chest. “Since we exchanged the courting gifts it would be inconsiderate to leave you unattended, Kac-chan.”
In any other situation Katsuki would have exploded at the nickname, but his brain was preoccupied processing the courting gift part. In the end he deemed it not necessary to straighten out this misunderstanding. In actuality he reinforced it in the coming months by adding more gifts to his fairy’s stupid house. One of which was a plaque with ‘Deku’s shitty house’ etched into a scrap of wood by the Dragon Prince himself.
In return he got flowers, shiny rocks and later kisses. Those, he returned.