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The desk set crashed onto the ground with a spectacular thud. The glass shattered into tiny shards as sheets of paper flew away into the night. Todd had never felt so alive.
“Oh my!” He heard Neil exclaim beside him, his head tossed back as he laughed with glee. Todd easily found himself doing the same. This had to be one of the best birthdays he’d had in a while. After years of half hearted letters and unwanted gifts, he had finally found someone who actually gave a damn. The notion made his heart flutter.
As their laughter died down, Neil turned to him, flashing a smile as bright as the sun. “I wouldn’t worry, you’ll get another one next year.” He teased lightly. Another bout of giggles ran through them, shaking their shoulders and warming their bodies from the bitter November cold. Todd had no doubts that they would be throwing the second unmanned flying desk set this time next year, but he felt far too giddy to entertain that thought. He followed Neil back to their dormitory with a slight skip in his step, a grin still plastered on his face.
“Thank you for that, Neil,” He said sincerely. “Best birthday ever.”
Neil’s smile faltered at that. “Seriously?” He asked, his brown eyes looked similar to that of a kicked puppy, Todd almost melted under his gaze. “Yeah,” he muttered, doing his best to not to sound too self pitying. “I didn’t really have any friends at Balincrest, and before that my birthdays were mostly overshadowed by whatever Jeffrey was doing, sooo.” Neil nodded in understanding, and Todd smiled sadly, trying not to let memories of his parents and his brother get in the way of his significantly improved mood. “I’m sorry.” His best friend said, gently patting his shoulder. “You don’t deserve that, hell, no one does.” Todd shrugged, feigning indifference. “That’s alright Neil. It’s no big deal.” Neil looked at him with a skeptical glance, but thankfully didn’t push.
The two fell into a comfortable silence as they continued to trudge down Welton’s icy paths, both letting out a breath of relief as they finally reached their building, warm air washing over them like they were being wrapped in a cozy blanket. They jogged up the stairs until they found their dorm. Todd eagerly dived for his bed, expecting Neil to do the same, but was surprised when he saw him reaching for a towel instead.
“I’m gonna hit the showers, I’ll catch you later?” Todd tilted his head. “Didn’t you shower this morning?”
“Yeah.” Neil bit his lip, looking slightly anxious, which immediately set off the alarm bells in Todd’s constantly worried head. “Are you okay?” He asked, trying to keep his nervous stutter at bay. As if it were never there, Neil’s anxious face was instantly replaced by a wide smile, though it didn’t do much to soothe Todd’s thoughts. “Yep, rehearsals were just a little intense today, I think a nice warm shower will do me good, I’ll be back in 20 minutes tops.” And with that, he was out the door. Todd let out a subtle sigh of relief, but there was still a lingering prickle in his gut. Neil’s reasoning was totally plausible, yet the brief look of worry on his face made him feel like something else was going on. He reluctantly shook the feeling off as he buried his nose in a poetry text book. Neil was fine, he can look after himself, he’s probably just tired from all that rehearsing. He skimmed his book until he found his favourite verses, and began to read.
~~~~~~~~~~
“Charlie! Cameron! Open up!” Neil knocked on his friends door as loud as he could without disturbing anyone, specifically Nolan. Within seconds, the door swung open to a furious looking Charlie Dalton, who wasted no time in seizing Neil’s arm and dragging him inside. “Perry! Thank God!” He pushed Neil firmly onto his bed, where he was faced with Cameron on the opposite side, his face screwed up like he’d swallowed a lemon, and skin the same shade as his hair. Neil rolled his eyes to the heavens. “Perry, will you please explain to Cameron that-“ Charlie began, but was swiftly interrupted.“He does not need to explain anything to me dipshit! I-“
The pair proceeded to snap at each other like a pair of rabid animals over God knows what. They had both had it out for each other since the day they first met, and it was a wonder how they still roomed together after five years. On a normal day, Neil would’ve chuckled at their antics and moved on, but he really needed their attention right now. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out an eraser he’d stashed there before he left the dorm. Observing his two dumb friends, he decided that Charlie would be the easier target, and promptly flung the small object at his head.
“Ow!” He exclaimed dramatically, rubbing the spot the eraser hit. “What the hell Neil?!”
“If you two are quite finished,” Neil deadpanned, glancing at the pair. “I had actually come to you for help.” Charlie at least had the decency to look guilty, Cameron just scoffed. They both sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Neil expectantly.
“It’s about Todd.”
That was the ticket. Since the one and only Todd Anderson joined Welton just a few months ago, the boys in their little group had all developed a soft spot for the shy, but kind new kid. Neil smiled at how even Cameron’s face softened in concern.
“Is he okay?” Charlie asked nervously.
“He’s fine, don’t worry.” Neil clarified “But…”
Neil proceeded to tell the entire story, from finding Todd huddled up sadly outside, to chucking the pathetic excuse of a gift off the bridge. “You could have gotten in trouble for that-“ Cameron started, before Charlie elbowed him sharply in the ribs.
“Anyway,” Neil continued, offering Cameron a quick glance of sympathy before powering through. “The point is is that Todd’s family sucks, and I just-“
“You want to do something for his birthday to show him that the day is worth something?” Charlie finished for him, a cheeky grin blooming on his lips. Good old Charlie Dalton, always able to read Neil like a book. “Yes! Exactly!” A surge of excitement coursed through him as he started to bounce lightly on the bed. He tried to keep himself still as he spotted Cameron nervously eyeing the flimsy bed frame.
“It can’t be anything too fancy though.” He added quickly. Both boys nodded firmly at that, they all knew that any too big of a gesture would likely send Todd running for the hills. “Just us poets.” He stated, and was thankful he was met with more nods of agreement.
“We could do it next Thursday?” Cameron suddenly suggested. Both Neil and Charlie turn to him with equal looks of surprise on their faces. “Why then?” Charlie asked, narrowing his eyes skeptically.
“Because,” Cameron stared at them both like they were idiots. “Our Dead Poets meeting is then, we could do something in the cave.”
“Why don’t we do it this Thursday then?” Charlie made no effort to hide the annoyance in his tone. Cameron just rolled his eyes.
“Because Dalton,” he began, slowing his voice as if he were talking to a toddler. “If we do it next week, that will give us this weekend to go out and get supplies and what not, we can’t exactly do that when we’re stuck in class all day can we?”
“But.. that will be over a week after Todd’s birthday, wouldn’t that be waiting too long?” Neil asked nervously, a slight pout adorning his lips.
Cameron’s usually sour face suddenly broke into a grin, a rare trace of mischief twinkling in his eyes. “Well, it will be even more of a surprise then, won’t it?”
Neil immediately perked up at that, and laughed hysterically as Charlie threw an arm around Cameron’s shoulder, reaching a hand up to ruffle his perfectly styled hair. “Would you look at that? There’s a rebellious bone in you after all Cameron!” He pointedly ignored his ginger friend’s grunts of protests. “I like this new side of you man, how long will it last?”
Cameron finally wriggled free from his grip, quickly flattening his mussed up hair. “Shut up Dalton.” He snapped, but with no real bite. Neil grinned, it was a rare day when Charlie Dalton and Richard Cameron got along, but when they did, it was a glorious sight to see.
“Alright gentlemen.” Neil stood up. “Thank you for agreeing to this, do you think you could get the others on board?”
“Yep, will do.” Charlie saluted him, Cameron offered a curt nod.
“Hey, why did you bring a towel into our room?” Charlie asked just as Neil was turning to leave. “And.. pajamas?” He whipped around to see Cameron hesitantly lifting his plaid red shirt off the floor.“Oh shit. I told Todd I was going to the showers.” He scooped the crumpled towel off the ground and snatched his pajamas from his friend’s grip, before hurrying down to the shower rooms. He stood under the spray briefly before changing, his damp hair creating the illusion that he was genuinely showering during his absence. He quickly scurried back to his dorm room, praying that he hadn’t been gone for too long, knowing that Todd would get suspicious, or worse, start to worry about him.
When Neil finally opened the door, he was relieved to find Todd peacefully reading in bed. He had changed into his own pajamas, and had wrapped himself in the thin Welton bed sheets as best as he could. He looked… cute. Todd looked up, face splitting into a toothy grin upon seeing his friend’s return, tufts of sandy hair fell into his eyes. Neil’s heart squeezed. “Hope I wasn’t gone too long.” He said, smiling as he climbed into bed. “Nope,” Todd responded kindly, “20 minutes, just like you said.”
“Good.” Neil was cruelly aware of how rosy his cheeks were becoming just by looking at his roommate, Swaddled in blankets and staring at him as if he’d hung the moon. If Todd had noticed his blushing, he didn’t say anything, much to Neil’s relief.
“Good book?” He asked. Todd nodded enthusiastically as he went on to talk about the poetry he had been reading whilst Neil was “Showering.” He smiled fondly at the way Todd animatedly explained the symbolism and all the annotations he had made. The Todd he met back in September would have mumbled something incoherent and turned his back, but something in him had changed over the past two months, like a chick hatching from its egg, and Neil was honoured to witness that progression.
To his dismay however, Todd’s excited spiel soon faded into an embarrassed mumble. “Sorry, didn’t mean to bore you.” Social anxiety really was a curse.
“What? No!” Neil yelled, making Todd jump. He winced at the volume of his own voice. “Todd, your interpretations sound amazing!” He insisted, doing his best to keep his voice quiet, despite his ever growing need to scream his love for Todd Anderson from the rooftops. The boy in question blushed, ducking his head to hide the flaming in his cheeks. “Seriously, don’t doubt yourself so much, I love hearing you talk.” Todd’s eyes widened at the confession, and Neil mentally slapped himself. “Yeah?” He asked meekly, as if he couldn’t quite believe it. Neil nodded, doing his best not to swoon at his friend’s watery blue eyes. “Of course.”
They stayed up for the next hour or so, talking about anything and everything until their eyes were too heavy to stay open. Reluctantly, they surrendered to their tiredness as they crawled further under their covers. “Good night Neil.” Todd murmured sleepily, eyes drifting shut.
“Good night Todd.” Neil responded, his own eyes slipping closed. The Dead Poets Society had a lot of planning to do for the next week, he promised himself to be well rested for next Thursday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After days of sneaking around and keeping Todd thoroughly distracted, Thursday had finally arrived. The poets had splurged the little money their parents gave them on cheap decorations and a small cake, along with a gift from each of them. The plan had been set in stone. Neil would pretend to be really stuck on some homework, and Todd, knowing the angel he was, would undoubtedly stay behind to help him, whilst insisting they’ll catch up with the others later. Neil would try and keep them in their dorm room for at least twenty minutes or so whilst the poets set up the cave, before delivering Todd to the hopefully pleasant surprise.
Neil would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit nervous. What if Todd gets spooked and decides to leave? what if it’s too much?
“Hey, Neil?” A quiet voice broke Neil out of his thoughts, he looked up to see Todd staring at him with a soft gaze, he feared his heart may beat out of his chest. “It’s nearly time to go.”
He was right, it was time to put the plan into action.
“Uhh, I don’t know Todd, you might have to go without me tonight.”
Todd’s smile dropped instantly.
“Why? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine don’t worry!” Neil quickly reassured.
“I’m just really stuck on this homework, it’s due tomorrow and if I don’t get it done now, I’ll be too tired to do it later.”
Todd’s frown deepened. “That’s not like you, what subject?” He asked.
“Math. Trigonometry.” Neil answered quickly. He knew that subject would keep them busy for the longest.
Todd’s nose wrinkled, Neil laughed. “Yeah, I’m with you on that, you go on, I’ll catch up with you later.”
Todd shook his head stubbornly. “No, I’ll go tell Charlie we’ll both be late to the meeting, it will get done quicker with two people solving the problems.”
Neil pretended to be hesitant. “Are you sure?”
Todd nodded insistently, “Positive.” And, leaving no room for argument, he swiftly jogged out the room.
Neil smiled smugly to himself, the plan was coming into fruition, and Todd was still oblivious. He happily picked up his pen and prepared his best “I’m struggling” face for when Todd returned.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Todd rummaged deeply into his folder, eyebrows pinched in frustration. Of course the only assignment he couldn’t find was the one with the answers to Neil’s homework on. Not that Neil would have copied off him anyway, but Todd felt it would have been easier if he at least remembered what the answers were whilst helping Neil solve them. “Don’t worry about it Todd, I’m sure that big brain of yours will prove to be helpful with or without your cheat sheet.” Neil laughed. “It’s not a cheat sheet!” Todd huffed indignantly, “It’s more…” he waved a hand loosely in the air, “A point of reference.”
“Uh huh.” Neil smirked. He patted the space beside him on the bed. “Come on, the more time you spend trying to find the answers, the less time we’ll spend actually solving them.” Neil had a point, while Charlie insisted on them taking “All the time they needed,” Todd did not want to keep them waiting for too long. He sat down next to Neil, ignoring how warm his cheeks felt as their legs brushed. To make matters worse, Neil had scooched over until the sides of their bodies were completely pressed together. Neil spread his numerous work sheets across both their laps, staring at them intensely as if hoping they would solve themselves.
“A-alright.” Todd stuttered lamely, his face was scorching. “Let’s get started.”
The two spent around twenty five minutes working through several complex trigonometry questions. Oddly, Neil appeared to understand the questions very quickly after Todd only explained them once. He started to wonder if Neil even needed his help, not that he was complaining. Spending time together with just the two of them was… nice, even if the proximity made him a little (Okay, very) flustered.
Soon enough, all of his homework was finished. Neil thanked him profusely before throwing on his coat and shoes. “Come on, I bet the others are missing us!” Todd laughed as he did up the buttons of his own coat, the cold seasons were no picnic in Vermont. They slowly tip toed out of the building, before flicking on their flashlights and heading out into the night. Todd noticed how Neil seemed much more excitable than usual, bouncing energetically on his toes and spinning in circles as they walked. He found it stupidly endearing, even if he had to stand closer to ensure he wouldn’t slip on the icy ground.
As they got closer to the cave’s entrance, Neil suddenly turned to him, a mischievous glint shining in his cheerful expression. Todd narrowed his eyes. “What are you thinking Neil?”
Neil bought a finger to his chin, pretending to ponder.
“I’m thinking… race!”
And with that he bounded off, cackling into the crisp November air.
“Wait! Neil!” Todd scrambled after him, a laugh escaping his lips as he surpassed his friend, leaves crunching loudly underfoot
“Noooo!” Neil wailed from behind him.
“I don’t know why you bothered!” Todd yelled back, voice full of laughter. “You know I’m faster than you!”
“I will beat you one day! Mark my words!” Neil panted as he finally reached Todd. They had made it to the entrance.
“Well, I suppose winners get to enter first.” Neil stepped back and took a bow, gesturing politely to the cave. “After you, Lord Anderson.” Todd chuckled at his friend’s theatrics as he began to clamber down the rocky path. After his laughter died down, he immediately noticed the eerie silence. He was expecting to hear a chorus of voices by now, or at least Charlie’s saxophone. Todd looked at Neil nervously. “Uhh, why can’t we hear anything?” He asked.
Neil, who seemed oddly unfazed, shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, they’re probably just waiting for us, keep going.” At Neil’s insistence, Todd continued, watching his step. He jumped as the glow of Neil’s flashlight suddenly disappeared. “Damn.” He whispered, “Batteries gone.” Without hesitating, Todd handed his flashlight over, but soon after, that one also shut off with a click.
Great, they were now in the dark.
Trying not to panic, Todd blindly reached for Neil, who quickly took his hand. “Don’t worry Todd, I’ve got you.” He assured him. His voice was steady and calm, like he knew this was going to happen, that did not put Todd at ease at all. “What’s going on Neil?” He asked. “You’ll see.” Neil answered easily. Todd didn’t understand, but he could hear the smile in Neil’s voice, the gentleness calmed the sudden adrenaline rush coursing through his body. He trusted Neil, Neil would never put him in harms way, he knew that. He held onto Neil’s hand tightly as he guided him further into the cave.
Suddenly, as quickly as they turned off, the flashlights were on again, several of them in fact. He blinked against the sudden burst of light as he took in his surroundings. The poets were all there, Meeks, Knox, Pitts, Cameron and Charlie all stood with wide grins on their faces, surrounded by colourful party decorations.
“Surprise!!”
Todd gaped, almost falling backwards in shock. Neil luckily swooped in like the hero he is, catching him by his shoulders.
“I- I don’t- what?” Todd tried to talk, but not much came out, he turned to Neil for an explanation.
“We wanted to do something for your birthday.” He said, shyly rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s not fair how your family treats you on what’s supposed to be your day, we just thought you deserved something nicer than a desk set.”
Todd was at a loss for words, he stared at the assortment of red, yellow, blue, green and pink streamers and balloons littering the inside of the cave. It was messy and chaotic and… absolutely perfect. His eyes fell on his friends, the first real friends he’d ever had, all wearing patterned party hats and each holding a wrapped parcel, presumably presents that they had gone out of their way to buy. This was so… so…
“Todd? You okay buddy?” That was Charlie. Todd was mortified to realise that his cheeks were wet with tears. He hastily scrubbed them away as his face broke into the biggest smile. “I’m more than okay.” He said, looking at them all with adoration “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.” The poets all let out a sigh of relief, before engulfing their favourite poet in a tight hug. Todd giggled as they affectionately ruffled his hair and clapped him on the back, Knox took the liberty of snapping a blue, polka dotted party hat under his chin. He looked up at Neil, who he just knew was the mastermind behind all this. The boy beamed at him, before pulling him gently to the ground. “Alright birthday boy, you want cake?” Todd blinked in surprise, “you got cake too?”
“Hell yeah we got cake!” Charlie exclaimed as he disappeared around a corner.
“Come on Anderson, what kind of party would this be if we didn’t have a cake?” Pitts jokingly rolled his eyes.
Charlie emerged, holding a small vanilla cake with white frosting and colourful candles. The boys descended into an abominable rendition of happy birthday that would make any musician’s ears bleed, but to Todd, it was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. His heart felt so full, it was close to bursting.
Charlie placed the cake in front of him, before sitting down next to knox. “Make a wish!” They all said in unison. Todd laughed as he blew out the tiny flames, his friends started to clap and cheer at an ungodly number of decibels. He had nothing to wish for, he realised fondly, everything he had ever wanted was right there in front of him. “I can’t thank you guys enough for this.” He whispered shyly, afraid he was going to start crying again.
“Save us the sappy speech Todd,” Meeks chuckled, throwing a package his way, “You’ve got gifts to open.”
Todd happily opened all five parcels, his heart melting to goo. He received a book of poetry from Knox, fluffy socks from Meeks, a sweater from Pitts, his favourite chocolate from Cameron, and a teddy bear from Charlie. “It’s fur is the same colour as your hair!” He pointed out with a grin. Todd laughed brightly as he clutched the stuffed animal to his chest. He looked at the small pile of gifts that had accumulated by his feet. Yep, definitely better than a desk set.
“Where’s your gift Neil?” Knox asked curiously.
Neil’s cheeks were suddenly flushing scarlet. “It’s back in our room.” He said quietly. He turned to Todd. “Wanted to give it to you in private, if that’s okay?”
Todd’s cheeks had turned the same shade as Neil’s as he gave a small nod. He pointedly ignored the wolf whistles (Presumably from Charlie,) being sent in their direction.
“Thanks for the gifts guys.” He finally tore his gaze away from Neil’s as he smiled at his friends, eyes shining with gratitude. The poets all grinned as they waved off his thanks. Just as Todd was delicately shifting his presents out of harms way, he spotted Charlie shoot a knowing look to Knox, before they both stood up and wandered into a dark corner of the cave. When they returned, they both had arms full of instruments.
Todd gawped. “Where the hell did you get those?”
“Don’t worry about it! You can’t have a party without music Anderson!”
They started handing out various musical instruments. Todd got a tambourine, Neil got maracas, Meeks and Pitts got matching recorders, Knox claimed the bongos, whilst Charlie took great pleasure in handing Cameron the triangle.
“Seriously Dalton?”
“It suits you!”
(Neil shared his maracas with him.)
“Let’s make some noise boys!” Charlie happily picked up the saxophone and started playing an upbeat melody, whilst the others contributed by graciously bashing and shaking their instruments to make some semblance of music. Eventually, they were all stood up and dancing to the rhythm (If you could call it that,) and Todd had never had so much fun.
Over the deafening sounds, Neil shouted into Todd’s ear. “Good birthday?!”
Beaming, feeling more euphoric than ever, Todd responded, “The best!”
~~~~~~~~~~~
They stayed out in the cave for several hours, until it was late enough for them to reluctantly put the party under wraps. Despite his protests, they did not allow Todd to help with the de-decorating of the cave. They sat him down, with Neil as his chaperone, whilst they pulled down the limp streamers and popped the balloons. Todd stared at them all, watching them laugh and bicker as they tripped over discarded instruments. He revelled in the sight of his friends, observing every small detail to ensure this moment stayed put in his memory. This was a night he never wanted to forget.
Once the cave was back to its bare self, the poets made the walk back to their dormitories. They all gave Todd one last hug before disappearing for the night.
“You didn’t really need help with trig did you?” Todd accused jokingly once he and Neil were back in their room.
“Nope!” The boy smirked, popping the p. He ruffled Todd’s hair. “I am an actor you know.” He stepped back and took another bow, making Todd laugh.
“You really didn’t suspect anything though?” Neil asked seriously. “I mean, we were sneaking around for like a week.”
Todd chuckled, shaking his head, “No, I really didn’t see it coming, even when all the flashlights turned off.”
Neil winced at that. “Sorry about that,” He apologised sincerely, “We had to make sure you didn’t see everything before you were in the cave properly.”
“Nah it’s okay.” Todd waved him off, “It was a little scary at first, but it was all worth it. Seriously, thank you so much. No one has ever done anything like that for me before.”
Neil grinned, his cheeks tinged with pink. “You’re welcome. Oh! I almost forgot.” Todd tilted his head as Neil dived under his bed, before it dawned on him that he didn’t have a present from him yet. “Neil, you really didn’t have to buy me anything.” He said, feeling slightly guilty. Neil muttered something that sounded like, “Don’t worry about it Todd,” though he couldn’t quite hear from the depths of the underneath of Neil Perry’s bed. After some scuffling, he finally resurfaced, clutching something rectangular wrapped in navy blue wrapping paper.
“For you.” Neil thrust the package into Todd’s arms, and Todd couldn’t help but smile as he peeled the wrapping away. The paper fell to the ground, revealing a shiny, black notepad. “Wow! Thanks Neil!” Todd grinned appreciatively, Neil smiled a little awkwardly. “Open it.”
Furrowing his brow, Todd opened the book to its first page, immediately recognising Neil’s loopy handwriting. His eyes widened as he scanned over the words. “Neil… did you write me poetry?” Todd suddenly found himself blinking back tears for the third time that night.
“It was an attempt. Not everyone can write like Walt Whitman I’m afraid.” Neil giggled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. Todd flicked through the book, pages and pages of poetry, just for him.
“I left half the book blank so you could write your own stuff.” Neil explained once Todd reached the end of his word vomit. “I hope it’s at least half dec-“ He didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence, because Todd had surged forward, pressing their lips together in a clumsy kiss. He pulled away almost instantly, eyes blown in panic. “I- I’m sorry- Neil- I don’t know what I was think-“ Todd was not the only one who could put an end to people’s sentences. Neil wasted no time in looping his hands around Todd’s waist, pulling him in for a second time. This kiss was softer, less clashing of teeth. Todd melted into Neil’s touch as his arms curled snugly around his neck.
They pulled away, slightly breathless.
“That was…” Todd began, unable to find the words.
“Incredible?” Neil offered with a smile. Todd nodded fervently, before burying his head into Neil’s shoulder.
Sighing with contentment, Neil ran his hand up and down Todd’s back, kissing his temple. He guided them both back to his bed, pulling the up the covers.
Todd smiled into Neil’s chest, before letting the pull of sleep overtake him.
Neil pressed a kiss to his hair.
“Happy birthday Todd, sleep well.”