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Higuchi runs down the unfamiliar street, her eyes widening with fear with every desperate turn she makes. Her knees are aching from both the exertion and the scrapes she gained on her journey, and her breaths are coming short, her little lungs unable to keep up.
She is twelve years old, lost, and terrified for her life.
The only thing keeping Higuchi from giving up right now is the fact that her sister is missing, too. They were separated when they accidentally got caught up in a fight between some older teenagers, and Higuchi ran off so she wouldn't be seen, but now, guilt and worry gnaw at her heart.
She feels tears well up in her eyes. Forget even thinking about returning home—if she cannot locate her sister anywhere, it isn't worth it. Her sister is the only one she has. Higuchi swore she'd protect her all her life, and yet.
Higuchi gasps, slowing to a stop. She just ran up a flight of stairs, but instead of finding any reprieve, she is staring at a blank wall more than thrice her height. Bits of rubble and trash are collected at the bottom. The stench is unbearable, and the wall looms over her, as if enclosing her like a dark blanket.
She turns around, biting her wobbling lips to prevent from crying out. She cannot give up yet. But she desperately needs water and her body is threatening to collapse in on itself, and the sun is beginning to set, the threat of nightfall waning over the area. Soon, her shadows will turn to monsters, and the idea of finding her sister again might be a thoughtless dream instead.
Higuchi holds back a sob as she drops to the ground, panting. She sits on one of the steps and buries her face into her dirty hands, uncaring about germs or bacteria or anything of the sort. She just wants her sister. She just wants to go home.
She doesn't know how long she sits there, devastation weighing down her heart. Every breath she takes feels too sharp, like it is physically stabbing at her chest. Her hair sticks to the nape of her neck uncomfortably and she doesn't want to cry—only the weak ones do, and it won't help the situation. But the tears spring up every time she thinks about what to do next.
She's so overwhelmed that she doesn't even hear someone stop in front of her until a soft, gentle voice asks, "Are you okay?"
Higuchi yelps, her body jerking like she's been shot. Her hand knocks against the edge of the stairs in her haste to get away and she winces as something sharp scrapes by her palm. She doesn't have time to worry about that, though. Instead, she's looking up at another girl with long black hair and thin eyebrows, staring at her.
The stranger visibly hesitates, her own hand lifting towards and away from Higuchi a few times before it ultimately settles by her side. "Are you from here?"
Higuchi doesn't know where 'here' entails. Does she mean this mysterious place that she can't seem to crawl out of, Yokohama, or even Japan? Why is she even asking her that? Is she going to take Higuchi away and lock her up somewhere she really can't escape?
Although, Higuchi acknowledges that the stranger doesn't look very big either—she might even be younger than Higuchi. But she knows from reading books and stuff that you shouldn't judge someone by their appearance, and that the stranger could very well have an entire army backing her up.
"Gin?" someone calls, and Higuchi's heart rate spikes when the girl turns around. "Are you there?"
This voice sounds a lot gruffer, tougher. There's no way Higuchi was right about the gang thing. How the hell did she get here?
"Over here," Gin replies, and Higuchi's teeth begin chattering. She didn't even know she could do that, but the fear pumping through her veins is making her body react in all sorts of unfamiliar ways, and she wants to get out.
Another child comes into view. He looks barely a few years older, but the streak of red on his cheek and the dark, empty eyes, is the biggest warning signal yet. Along with that, the edges of his tattered clothes sway unnaturally with every step he takes, almost like it's alive. Higuchi eyes him warily as he comes closer, but he stops in his tracks when he catches sight of her.
His eyebrows knit together in a fierce frown. "Who is this?"
"I don't know," Gin answers simply. "She seems lost, but she hasn't said anything yet."
"I told you not to talk to strangers. Especially in a place like this," the boy sighs, but Gin only shrugs and turns back to Higuchi,
Her eyes are a lot kinder than her friend, Higuchi thinks. It's the same stormy shade of grey, but Gin's eyes are filled with just a bit more light, making her marginally more approachable. When she holds out a hand, as if extending it to a scared wounded animal, Higuchi almost takes it. Almost.
She shakes her head in the end, cradling her own hand to her chest. A bit of warm liquid trickles down her palm and she stiffens, pulling back to look. Crimson red stains her skin and the stinging only amplifies when she realises that she's bleeding.
"Don't cry," Gin rushes to say, kneeling down. "It's just a small cut. You'll be okay."
She speaks like she isn't used to forming words with her mouth, Higuchi notices. Vaguely, she wonders if it's a speech impairment thing, or just something she has never learned. Her teachers in school are always talking about proper pronunciation and getting upset whenever she stutters, so—
"What's your name?" Gin asks, interrupting her train of thought. The other boy still stands a few feet away, body as still as a statue.
"Higuchi," she mumbles.
A long strand of hair falls over Gin's face, almost like a curtain, as she looks down at Higuchi's injury. "I'm Gin. That's my brother, Ryuunosuke. If you follow us, we have a bit of clean water for you to wash the wound."
"Gin," Ryuunosuke admonishes, his tone turning icy. "We don't know her."
"She's in pain," Gin defends.
"Look at her clothes. She's not from here. She's not one of us."
Higuchi glances down at what she's wearing. Indeed, her clothes look befitting for royalty compared to the torn fabrics that the other two have draped over their bodies. They're both barefoot too, unlike the sandals that Higuchi has, even though the sole is coming off on one of them. She still looks in much better shape.
Something sad flashes across Gin's eyes. Her body moves back, as if following her brother's words mindlessly, and Higuchi would feel sorry for herself if she wasn't so scared to ask them to stay. She thinks that company might be the only thing keeping her steady right now, but if they want nothing to do with her, then…
Still, one thought nags at the back of her mind. So she tosses away her fear and blurts out in a rushed, shaking voice, "I'm looking for my sister!"
Both siblings pause. Gin's body is already turned halfway, but she turns back to face Higuchi fully, as if gesturing for her to continue. "I… We were separated earlier and I can't find her anywhere. I don't— I can't go back without her. I don't know how I'll forgive myself if she's gone."
Her voice wavers at the end and she feels another tear slip from her eyes. She feels so meek and pathetic, but the sky is dimming and the longer this goes on, the more she wants to shrivel up and give up.
Gin gives Ryuunosuke a pleading look and the boy relents. "Fine. She can stay for one night. Just until we find her sister."
Higuchi's eyes widen. Gin offers a hand to her again, and the generous gesture is so stunning that she forgets how to move for a few seconds. When Higuchi takes her hand, she's hoisted upright, and Gin gives her a soft smile that comforts her more than she thought it would.
As they walk through narrow alleyways and rocky paths, Gin asks a few questions about Higuchi's sister. She spills it all out, her eyes darting around in case she spots her as she is speaking, but to no avail. Still, Gin nods along, and it distracts Higuchi enough that she doesn't even realise they've arrived at where they wanted to bring her.
This place… Well, Higuchi supposes it would suffice to call it a shelter, but it's truly falling apart. It's against another deadend, though this one smells a bit better than before. Boxes and loose fabrics are stacked against each other to create some semblance of a home. The entrance is blocked out by a few sticks that Ryuunosuke moves aside, allowing them to crawl in.
The inside isn't much better than the outside. The ground is flat, at least, and a few other children are scattered around. They all turn their heads in sync the moment Higuchi enters, anticipation held in their eyes.
Gin ignores them all, bringing Higuchi over to a random side of their 'home'. There is a smaller box there that she digs through, pulling out a water bottle. "Here."
Higuchi holds her bloody hand out, letting Gin wash the wound with water. Briefly, she thinks about how much they must be wasting on her, watching the liquid spill out on the floor, mixing with the sand. But Gin doesn't point it out, her eyes laser-focused on the task on hand.
Ryuunosuke walks in a bit later and the children scramble up to greet him. Higuchi watches the exchange with curious eyes and dares to ask, "Is your brother the leader of this place?"
Gin huffs out a laugh. "No. We don't have a leader. But I guess he's more like everyone's big brother, you know?"
"That makes sense," Higuchi mumbles. She winces at a sudden tight feeling in her hand and looks down to see Gin tying a piece of loose fabric around the wound. When she's done, Gin puts the plastic bottle aside, and Higuchi tries not to think about how little water is left in there. "Um… thank you."
"No problem," Gin replies. "Do you want to stay with us tonight? It'll be dark soon. You can look for your sister tomorrow."
Higuchi bites her lip. She knows she will just spend the entire night in ceaseless worry if she stays, but she supposes this is her best bet for now. At least she's with people who are more familiar with the ins and outs of this place.
"Okay," she sighs. "If that's okay with you guys."
"Of course." Gin stands up and Higuchi can't help but notice the way her eyes immediately seek out her brother. She walks over to him and one of the children follows her, tugging on her sleeves.
Ryuunosuke comes over a bit later, barely sparing Higuchi a glance. He seems much colder than everyone else, but Higuchi supposes she cannot fault him. She is a stranger, and looking at how limited their resources are here, he probably thinks she's just a waste of space, especially with the number of kids that he is clearly trying to protect—some of them barely look four or five.
Higuchi spends the rest of the night sitting in that corner, quietly observing her surroundings. She's not one to be so closed-off, but in a place like this, she cannot help but feel she must make herself as small as possible. Her knees are drawn up to her chest, like she's trying to contain even her shadows.
Out of sight, out of mind, she thinks to herself. It's a motto that her mother upholds greatly. Never do more than necessary. Keep yourself safe.
But how can you say that to a child? A human being with wide-eyed wonder and who just wants to do her absolute best in every situation, because curiosity and effort is the core of her soul. How can you beat that out of her?
Later at night, when Higuchi is squished up at the side of the base, covered by a measly piece of fabric for a makeshift blanket—the good ones were given to all the younger children, and she understands—she isn't surprised to find that sleep hasn't taken her over.
Higuchi sits up, shivering slightly, glad that it's at least the middle of summer. She stares at the emptiness of the dark and feels a horrible sense of loneliness and dread, and she is supposed to be the big older sister but right now, she feels so terribly small.
With shaking knees, Higuchi rises to her feet and creeps out of the tent. The moment she ducks through the curtains and out into the open, she spots another figure sitting outside and freezes.
For a moment, Higuchi is only able to see a few strands of jet black hair sticking out of a hood. The person's back is faced towards her. She automatically assumes that it's Ryuunosuke, but then the figure turns, revealing eyes that are just a tad bit thinner and lips downturned into a wistful expression rather than one of fierce stoicism, and she breathes out a sigh of relief.
"Hello!" Gin says with a small wave.
"Hi!" Higuchi whispers back.
They stare at each other for a bit. Gin tilts her head up to the sky, then back at Higuchi as she pats the space beside her. It isn't much. She's just sitting on a slight bump on the floor, just enough to look like a makeshift kerb, but Higuchi takes the invitation anyway, hopping up next to her and dropping down.
"Can't sleep?" Gin asks.
"Can't," Higuchi replies with a shake of her head. She twiddles her fingers as she stares at them, a little unsure of what to say.
Gin doesn't look much older than her, but Higuchi still feels like she's wise beyond her years. Perhaps it's the effect of growing up around here and having Ryuunosuke as her brother. Her cheeks are as round as a child's should be and her fingers are stubby and there is still a shine of innocence in her grey eyes, but Gin speaks differently. She speaks like a soldier. Like a survivor.
Meanwhile, Higuchi feels like a silly, ditzy princess from all the fairytales she's read, who came into their space uninvited, stumbling and fumbling. The damsel in distress, except this isn't her story to invade.
This is real life. And Higuchi is terrified.
"Are you okay?" Gin asks, not for the first time since they've met. Higuchi is starting to think that nothing is ever going to be okay. "You're shaking. Are you cold?"
"No," Higuchi replies, her voice as small as a mouse. "Um… Why are you awake?"
"Keeping watch."
"Whoa… you do this every night?"
At that, Gin giggles. "No. Ryuu doesn't let me stay up, usually. He says he will do all the watching."
"Oh. Where is he now?"
Gin shrugs, stretching her legs out. Higuchi notices a few scars littered around her shins and knees. "He said he had a bad feeling about some guys that walked past earlier. He's following them."
"Eh?! B-but that's so dangerous! What if they're really bad guys?"
"He'll be okay. Ryuu always wins," Gin assures.
Higuchi thinks, at that moment, that she was wrong about Gin's mental age. Gin, like her, is merely just a kid.
Only a kid can have that kind of firm, unwavering confidence in someone they love, to not even worry about a situation like this. This is proof of protection. Of safety.
"Anyway," Gin says, drawing her knees up to her chest. Higuchi unconsciously copies her action and ends up mirroring her position, such that they look like two balls curled up together. Like meaningless specks of dust in this vast, unknown world. "Are you worried about your sister?"
Higuchi's breath hitches. "I— of course I am. I can't stop thinking about her. I don't know what I'll do if I can't find her. She's the person who matters the most in the entire world to me."
Gin nods empathetically. "That's how I feel about Ryuu. Don't worry. I'm sure it'll all be okay."
There it is again. That assurance that everything will magically work itself out, that they'll all stay unharmed as long as her big brother is around. Higuchi wonders if her sister thinks of her that way. She wonders how her sister feels now, abandoned and helpless. It makes her throat close up tightly.
"You know," Gin says, distracting her from wallowing in her thoughts. "I know it seems bad out here, especially compared to what you're probably used to." Higuchi opens her mouth to protest, but Gin holds a hand up, effectively cutting her off. "It's okay. I was just going to tell you that it isn't so terrible. Not when you have lots of friends and people who care about you."
She doesn't need to elaborate; Higuchi knows she's talking about every single soul sleeping just a few feet behind them. She nods wordlessly, unsure of where Gin is going with this, but finding herself oddly interested in what she has to say anyway.
"It's like… It's like we're one big family. It really makes you feel better on nights like these!" Gin gestures to the blank, starless sky that seems to loom over them like a cage. "That's what Ryuu is trying to protect. That's what I like best about this place."
Higuchi's breath stutters when Gin places a gentle hand over her own, resting just above her knee. Her eyes shine with something soft and welcoming, something that should've been snuffed out a long time ago in a place like this, but still miraculously remains. Distantly, Higuchi imagines that it's because of Ryuunosuke's desperate efforts to preserve.
"So I'll be your friend," Gin announces, knocking the wind out of Higuchi's lungs. "Even if it's just for one night. It's always less scary with a friend... That's the only way I know how to help."
Her voice trails off at the end, but it doesn't matter—Higuchi's chest blooms with something young and hopeful.
"Me too!" she blurts, putting her other hand above Gin's. If this keeps up, they could form a hand tower or something. "I'll be your friend too! Uh, I mean, you already have so many, but…"
Gin's lips stretch out into a wide grin. "One more won't hurt."
Higuchi beams back.
In the morning, Ryuunosuke returns to them with dried blood on his face and Higuchi's sister in tow.
Higuchi drops to her knees, tears flowing freely from her eyes as she wraps her sister up in the tightest hug she can. Her sister is stiff and trembling, so Higuchi does her best to squeeze out all the pain, whispering constant reassurances of you're back, I'm here, we're okay.
Gin offers to bring them to the edge of Suribachi City, just where the border between their lives lie. Right before Higuchi steps out, she turns to Gin, struggling to find the right words to say at their parting.
"Bye," Gin says simply with a wave. "I hope you get home safe."
It's unfair, Higuchi wants to say. Why does she get to go home while Gin stays here? Why can't Higuchi bring her along?
Then again, Higuchi thinks that if she were to offer for Gin to follow, Gin would refuse in a heartbeat. Her soul belongs here, tied down by her love for her friends and most importantly, for her brother. She couldn't drag Gin out of here even if she tried.
So Higuchi musters up her voice, swallowing down the odd ball of emotions that want to explode out of her. "Let's meet again some day!"
She sticks her hand out. Gin stares at it in surprise before she smiles that same radiant smile she gave last night, taking it. When Higuchi pulls back, she feels Gin stain her memory, leaving an everlasting impact. She knows that she won't ever forget her.
Almost five years laters, Higuchi signs her life away in exchange for her sister's safety.
She slips into her new role with struggle. An unsuitable profession, the people around her say. She's too meek. Out of sight, out of mind. She won't last a month here.
But Higuchi fights her way through. Somehow, somewhere along the line, she begins climbing up the ranks, always scraping by but succeeding nonetheless.
And then she is placed under a man named Akutagawa, one who she doesn't know but has heard countless stories about. Higuchi enters her new office—three floors above her old one, her fingers trembling when she opens the door.
The moment her foot crosses in, a hand darts out to wrap around her wrist and drags her. Higuchi yelps, stumbling in. They twist her arms back, pushing her against the wall and pinning her there, and as the door slams close behind her, she vaguely thinks about death and how this has always been an inevitable and—
"We meet again," a painfully familiar voice says, so soft it barely tickles past Higuchi's ear, or maybe it's because they're wearing a mask.
Higuchi's heart pounds in her chest as she tilts her face just a bit to the left and comes face-to-face with striking grey eyes. They've lost their childlike wonder and warmth, but she would know those eyes in her sleep.
"Gin," she gasps. "It's you."
Something sharp presses to the back of her neck. Higuchi should be scared—she is, but there is something else running through her veins. An electrifying rush of adrenaline.
"Welcome to the mafia," Gin chuckles.
Despite her position, Higuchi manages to smile. "Not sure if this is a very warm welcome, but I guess it's always less scary when you have a friend."
She shouldn't feel comforted by a knife to her skin. This Gin isn't anything like the Gin she remembers. This one barely makes a sound and has something dark in their eyes and a mask covering what should be the prettiest smile, comparable to the moon.
But when Gin laughs under their breath, Higuchi knows that there's still her old friend under that rough exterior. "No such thing as friends here."
"Not even for one night?"
The blade leaves her skin. The hold on her wrists loosen enough for Higuchi to turn around and face Gin directly. Gin, who is looking at her like they're seeing her in a completely new light. Or, like she is shrouded in the light that they thought was long gone the moment they had theirs extinguished.
"...I guess just one won't hurt," Gin replies.
Higuchi smiles.