Chapter Text
I hated having to depend on some idiotic, inferior human for this. Even more so when that idiotic, inferior human was the insufferable pink-haired one who—who did he think he was, anyway? Did he really believe he was superior to cats?
Stupid creature. It’s only a matter of time before he falls under my feline charms.
I had even practiced some new tricks—an extra-adorable look that would make the human melt right into my claws.
But that would have to wait for another day, because today I had more pressing matters.
Ugh, it’s ridiculous that I even have to resort to this.
The black-haired human with the short hair had decided that they couldn’t let me into the house anymore because, surprise, she’s allergic! What a pathetic excuse.
This morning, I was peacefully sleeping on the floor when the other human—the big one—picked me up. I told him not to bother me because I was sleeping, confident that he just wanted to pet me, and sure enough, he did… until the nerve of him! He put me outside and closed the door.
How dare he?!
I used all my weapons, and after hours of meowing and scratching at the door, I realized they truly intended to leave me outside, like a poor little defenseless kitten abandoned on the sidewalk.
I pitied myself for a few more hours before deciding my only option was the one human who could understand me.
I’d have to make him convince the other two to let me back into my cozy place.
So here I am.
Waiting for that stupid human to come out of his prison or whatever that place is that all the humans go to.
I stretched out under a bush, lazily waiting, until a loud sound startled me.
People started pouring out, all dressed the same, and I knew I wouldn’t have to wait long to spot the human I needed.
There he was, coming out with two other idiots.
I started following him from the bushes, making sure no one else saw me or tried to pet me.
I know I’m adorable and irresistible, but it wasn’t the time.
The big human and the blue-haired one went off in different directions, leaving only the pink-haired one walking quickly toward the home of my servants.
It was the perfect opportunity.
I practically leaped onto his shoes, ready to charm him into doing what I wanted.
“Human, listen to me.”
He ignored me and kept walking.
His attitude was always the same, and it annoyed me in exactly the same way every time. Who did he think he was, ignoring me like this? Me?! I tried to jump at him again, but he dodged me.
“Hey! What’s wrong with you? Stop ignoring me this instant, slave!” I demanded. He didn’t hear me.
Time to bring out the big guns.
I placed myself in his path, flopped onto my back, purring and meowing.
This should be enough to make him want to pet me. After all, he’s done it before, so why not now?
But before I realized it, he had walked right past me. He was even walking faster than usual. Did he hate me that much?
I growled.
The human was going to make me beg.
I got back in front of him.
“Fine, you win. Just help me, okay?”
Looking him straight in the face, I realized I hadn’t really seen it before, and… he was acting differently.
He kept shifting his weight, his chest rising and falling.
Not that unusual; I’d seen humans behave like this for all kinds of reasons—even good ones. He seemed agitated.
There had to be a reason, but it was hard to read this strange human.
Whatever. My mission was more important than whatever was happening to this miserable human.
He barely noticed me, already trying to move away. When I didn’t say anything, he made to leave.
“No! No, no, okay. I need you to make the humans let me back inside,” I said, and he resumed walking. I trailed after him, weaving together insults, pleas, and promises of purring and pets.
He was a lot bigger than me, so it took effort to keep up, and even so, he was deliberately ignoring me.
He must be the most insufferable human in the universe.
“Listen, they should let me in because I’m the king of that house! I keep the place free of pests. You’d care about that, right? About keeping your den ins—” The human interrupted my speech.
All of a sudden, he stopped moving. I thought he had finally decided to help me, but he didn’t even look at me. He just froze, like before.
Curious, I moved closer and noticed his legs were trembling.
He gripped his backpack tightly, sighed, and then kept walking—faster this time.
I stayed still for a few seconds, trying to figure out what on earth had just happened.
Then I went after him again.
I suppose he expected me to keep talking, because he glanced down at me for a second.
My priorities shifted from convincing the human to knowing what was going on with the human.
Yes, well, I could try the brown-haired human with glasses later. Right now, I wanted to know, so I followed him quietly, watching.
The time between each breath he took was too short. I also couldn’t miss how his legs ended up almost pressed together.
<< You don’t care about going back home anymore? Go chase some rats and stop following me. >>
Oh, so now he wanted to talk—how convenient.
“You humans are so weird, but you’re being extra weird right now. What’s wrong with you, slave?” He sighed, not answering for a while.
<< I’m going back to the same house you’re not allowed in. Go away now. >>
I wanted to scratch him, but I decided to try reasoning with him once more.
“Listen, human. If they don’t let me in, I’ll end up as a poor abandoned kitten, trembling with cold at night and slowly starving…” The human started to lean forward.
Was he going to pet me? Finally, he’s going to pet me! I’ve got him right where I want him.
I waited for a few seconds, eagerly anticipating his touch, but nothing happened.
I opened my eyes only to see that he wasn’t about to pet me, nor did he seem inclined to.
He was just doubled over, clutching his clothes as if his life depended on it.
His face was tense, almost as if he were angry.
The human wasn’t in the best mood right when I needed a favor.
But it was more than that. He wouldn’t act like this if it were only anger.
Whatever was bothering him seemed to ease, as he straightened up again and kept walking as if nothing had happened.
My tail flicked from side to side in morbid curiosity.
His steps were quick, measured in some way. He didn’t stop again until we rounded a corner.
I expected him to try sending me away once more, but he seemed to prefer pretending I wasn’t even there.
I would have been irritated by his indifference if it weren’t for the way his eyes darted around, unsure what to focus on.
He was definitely nervous.
I jumped onto a wall to get a better view.
I knew I was making him even more nervous, and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy finally getting some reaction out of him.
<< No, you don’t. Leave, or I’ll convince Mom and Dad even more to keep you outside. >>
I saw his hand lower toward his lower half, only to grip his thigh instead. His face fell, and he seemed to be staring at the pavement.
Instinctively, I looked down too, to see if there was something there. Of course, there was nothing.
I turned my attention back to him as he made a sound, almost like a choke.
“You have to gag if you want to get the toy you swallowed out of your throat. Like this.” I demonstrated to help the human, now certain he was choking.
Amateur. I had to learn the hard way what’s okay to eat and what isn’t.
He ignored me but didn’t make that sound again.
I started to doubt my theory.
He shivered for a few seconds. I couldn’t see his face, but he seemed to be in pain.
<< Go away! >>
“Oh, you think you’ll get rid of me that easily? We cats are beyond you humans with your manipulable minds…” The interruptions were starting to get on my nerves.
<< Leave. Leave now, damn it. >>
I paused for a second.
I had never heard him sound so desperate. It almost sounded like a plea.
The human had to lean against the wall of someone’s house, looking exhausted.
He was catching his breath, gathering strength—for what?
His eyebrows furrowed in worry as he looked around the street.
There were a few people walking by. I wondered why that seemed to spark such a look of despair in his eyes.
“Does something hurt?” I asked before I even realized I was speaking. My voice came out genuinely concerned.
I jumped down from the wall and sat almost at his feet.
<< You’re the most stubborn cat I’ve ever met. >>
Sinking down onto the wall of a stranger’s house seemed to work, as he was back on his feet, moving along the path again.
I knew those streets well, and I knew we weren’t far from home.
The further we went, the harder it seemed for the human.
He stopped more and more frequently, and if his steps had been frantic before, now it was the opposite.
His hands opened and closed into fists, hovering near his lower stomach.
From the corner of my eye, I caught him pressing a hand against his crotch.
It was hilarious.
His knees buckled, and I thought he was going to fall.
Now both hands were clutching the same spot, and his face looked redder than usual.
I let out a laugh. Was he… in heat? I’d never seen a human in heat before. I didn’t even know if they had heats, especially not the males. But if they did, his behavior would make sense.
He shot me a look of pure disgust.
<< That’s not even->>
He cut himself off with a gasp.
To my surprise, he pressed his hands even harder. That had to hurt.
I stepped back as he seemed to choke again, this time more clearly, and he swayed from side to side.
He took a breath in three seconds and let it out in four, doing it over and over. He seemed to be trying to calm down or something.
He carefully straightened up.
“They should take you to the vet.”
He growled in response, one hand still on his crotch.
I could see our house now. Right there—the place I wasn’t allowed to be anymore.
We were so close, and I still hadn’t managed to convince him.
I swallowed my pride, thinking.
Maybe if I figured out what was wrong with the human, I could use it to blackmail him later.
We were nearly there, and his steps were exasperatingly short.
My feline patience was wearing thin.
I noticed that ever since he’d been crouched down, he’d started pulling his uniform lower.
Maybe he was trying to hide the way he was gripping himself.
It was no longer surprising when he froze again.
Maybe it was when he made a noise I can only describe as a whimper and leaned forward. A dark stain appeared under his hand.
He stopped for a few seconds until he closed his eyes, and a single drop ran down his hand, leaving a shining trail of moisture.
I froze too.
My mind went blank, mesmerized by how the fabric darkened, soaking up the moisture.
When I managed to think again, the human was moving frantically, almost running toward home.
I followed him, still processing.
There was liquid coming out of the human.
Was he… peeing himself?
He ran a block or two, with me close behind, until I had to skid to a stop.
We’d arrived home.
I expected him to burst inside, as panicked as he had been, but by the time we got there, his movements were sluggish, weak, and shaky.
A shiver ran through him, and his legs trembled.
He put a hand on the wall of the house—he only had to go inside, just one more step.
But he didn’t.
His legs couldn’t hold him anymore, and he slid down the wall, slowly sinking until he reached the pavement.
It took me a moment to realize that the reason he had stopped and given up was because he had already lost control.
His clothes were soaked, with a puddle still spreading around him.
He stayed like that, breathing heavily, until he rested his head against the cold wall.
When he sighed one last time, I noticed it wasn’t a sigh full of anxiety or urgency anymore.
He completely collapsed as he finished. His shoulders sagged, the tension leaving his body.
He didn’t look at me for several seconds, and when he finally did, I was surprised by the apathy in his gaze.
I blinked a few times, unable to analyze, think, or fully understand.
So, that was the problem? The way humans had assigned a specific place to do their business.
I knew it was frowned upon for someone to just relieve themselves in any random place.
That meant the whole situation had been an accident.
The human had wet himself accidentally, right in front of me.
I couldn’t help it—I burst out laughing.
Laughing so hard it made my stomach ache, and I rolled on the ground, mocking the human and how pathetic he and his whole species were.
My laughter didn’t stop even as I heard him sigh.
Then he sighed again, and again.
The sound was wetter than usual.
I paused to look at him.
Still crouched in his own mess, he had one hand over his face, gaze lowered.
His shoulders rose and fell as he kept sighing.
I sat down, observing him.
It looked like he was crying.
He got up, leaving me behind as he looked for a way to get inside the house.
He must have realized that if he went in through the front door, he’d be seen, and since it’s such a taboo among humans, he’d probably want to avoid that.
I trailed after him, still chuckling under my breath.
<< Is that why you followed me?>>
My laughter softened when I heard how angry he was.
He looked utterly defeated, and I didn’t understand why.
“Why can’t you humans just pee wherever you want, like we do? We cats don’t have to worry about such stupid things.”
He turned away, ignoring me, and headed to a corner covered by bushes where no one could see him.
I thought hiding like that was excessive until he vanished.
That arrogant human had hidden to teleport without being seen.
I started grooming myself, mulling over everything that had happened.
Anyway, the brown-haired human would still let me into the house.