Chapter Text
“Just like that?” Maggie looks over at Hannah, dumbfounded.
She nods from across the table. “Just like that.”
“I don't understand,” Nellie says, pulling an apple out of her locker. “A couple months ago, you and Ripley were all over each other.”
Hannah shrugs as she takes a sip of tea from the paper cup in front of her. “We had fun for a while and then… I don’t know, it kind of fizzled out, I guess.”
If she’s honest, it’s a little more complicated than that.
The initial spark between her and Mitch had been sizzling, to say the least. A couple of make-outs later left her pretty confident there was solid chemistry and definitely a potential for something to develop.
And then the Pawel debacle happened. She understood that Ripley had a lot of things to deal with but the way he shut her out acted as a cold shower. He came around eventually but by the time he decided to open up to her, the fire had died down and whatever embers were left weren’t enough to revive it. They’d tried to go on a couple of dates but neither of their hearts was really in it anymore. At the end of the day, they’d agreed to cut the awkwardness short and remain friends.
“Damn,’ Nellie drops on the chair between Hannah and Maggie. “The two of you were cute. Where am I going to get my daily dose of gossip now?”
Hannah throws a pointed look towards Maggie. “Oh there’s no shortage of gossip in this room.”
Nellie turns her attention to the head nurse. She leans forward and lowers her voice, despite the fact that the three women are alone in the doctor’s lounge. “Wait, does that mean Hot Helicopter Guy finally made his move?”
Maggie turns her head to the transparent wall separating the room to the rest of the ED, just as Loren walks by. The thousand-watt smile he sends her way leaves little doubt to the status of their relationship. Maggie responds in kind before returning her attention to her two friends. “Mmhmm.”
“Glad he finally put his big boy’s pants on,” Nellie comments.
“Actually,” Maggie blushes. “I did.” She shrugs. “I got tired of waiting.”
“Good for you! At least one of us should see some action.” Nellie turns to Hannah. “So what now? Are you joining me back on the ‘swipe right/swipe left’ train?”
“I don’t know about that. It was nice to dip my toes back into the dating world but I don’t know if I want to go back to online dating. Though, to be fair, I didn’t have much luck with the real-life version either.”
Maggie reaches to lay her hand on top of her friend’s. “Don’t give up. I’m sure your someone isn’t far.”
The door to the lounge opens to reveal Dean Archer. “I hate to break up the gossip mill but Doctor Asher, there’s an MVA coming in 5 minutes. The driver is pregnant. I need you out there with me.”
“I’ll be right there.”
Hannah stands up, dumping the rest of her tea in the sink before throwing her cup in the trash. She turns on her feet, ready to get out of the door and into the bustling chaos of the ED when she catches both Maggie and Nelly’s eyes on her. “What?” She asks, confused.
“Nope, definitely not far,” Nellie says.
“Wh-... Dean? You’re joking, right?”
“Come on,” Maggie says. “Don’t think we haven’t noticed the way you two look at each other.”
“Or how he always asks for you,” Nellie adds before Hannah can speak.
“He’s got a pregnant patient! I’m an OB!”
“Yeah… This time.”
“You’re both delusional,” Hannah insists, reaching for the door. “Dean and I are friends. Just friends,” she calls as she exits the room.
She doesn’t give the two women time to answer and walks out, grabbing a disposable gown on her way to the ambulance bay where Dean is already waiting.
“Everything okay?” He asks. “I thought I heard you yelling.”
There’s no way she heard them talking about him, right? The genuine look of concern on his face puts her fear to rest. Or would, if it wasn’t for the heat rushing to her cheeks.
“All good!” She forces her focus on the yellow cover-up. Why won’t it unfold properly?
“You need some help?”
“I’m perfectly fine, thank you.” Out of the corner of her eyes, she catches his amused smirk. “This is not funny!” She protests.
A few shakes finally loosen the gown… upside down. Hannah quickly straightens it, aware that Archer is still observing her, his grin barely concealed. She threads her arms through the holes before reaching for the ties. One swipe of hands. Two. Three. No luck. What the hell is wrong with this gown?
“Here.”
Archer takes a step behind her, reaching for the stubborn strings and tying it securely behind her back.
“It’s never happened to me before. I swear something is wrong with this gown.”
Or maybe something is wrong with her because when she turns to find herself face to face with piercing blue eyes, her brain seems to lose track of whatever she was saying.
“You’re all set.”
“Yep,” she replies, taking a step aside. “Thank you.”
Maggie and Nellie must have gotten in her head. She better get a grip and fast. This is Dean Archer. Her colleague. Her friend. Which is already quite an incredible feat considering where they started at.
She’ll admit. If someone had told her two years ago, on her first day back at Med, that she’d become so attached to the grumpy Chief of the ED who insisted she take a drug test every week, she would have laughed in their face. As it turns out though, that tough exterior was merely a shell. The man hiding behind it is a lot different.
Her train of thoughts is cut short, interrupted by Ambo 61’s lights and siren blaring into the ambulance bay.
Everything else becomes instantly irrelevant. Right now, a patient is waiting on her, counting on her to make it through the most frightening moment of their lives. They deserve her entire attention.
Whatever notion Maggie and Nellie seem to be entertaining about her and Archer can wait until later.
𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋
The headache hits roughly five hours into his 10-hour shift. Considering his medical history, Archer would be worried if it weren’t for the fact that he knows exactly what’s causing it. Really, it’s more surprising that it didn’t start sooner. There’s only so long you can run on caffeine and adrenaline. Probably not the best combination barely a year post kidney transplant but this is the only way he can function at the moment.
Now, with an hour left into his shift, the couple of Tylenol he took are long forgotten. Not that they helped much to begin with. The pounding in his head is growing stronger by the minute. The constant beeping and buzzing of the ED only makes it worse. Nausea crept its way at some point and it’s getting overwhelming. What Archer really needs right now is a nap… but for the moment, fresh air will have to do.
Most of his patients have been discharged and the rest are waiting on tests so, for the first time since 8am this morning, Dean gets the chance to pass the front door of the hospital. The sun has barely started its descent through the late summer sky but already, a cool breeze welcomes Archer. He stops, leaning against the cool concrete wall and closes his eyes for a second. The pain subsides in the semi-darkness. A few deep breaths settle his stomach.
Is it possible to fall asleep standing? Because he swears he’s well on his way when a strong buzzing jolts him back to reality.
And the pulse of adrenaline revives the jackhammer in his brain.
He pulls his phone from his lab coat to find a new text from Sean. His finger hovers above the notification.
After Sean’s blowout in front of Med a couple of months ago, things were rocky for a few weeks. It took a couple of tries but eventually, they finally sat down and talked. Sean apologized, acknowledged how much his father changed and understood why he reacted to Dustin’s relapse the way he did. They’d made up and things seemingly went back to normal.
And yet, something doesn’t feel quite right. Maybe it’s just guilt. Archer sure has an infinite supply of it stored deep within. How could he not when he missed 15 years of his son’s life? When he abandoned him instead of supporting him through his addiction?
When he keeps saying the wrong thing and messing things up.
They patched things up this time but what about the next? After all, he doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to human interactions. He did manage to drive away almost everyone he’s ever cared about.
All these thoughts keep him awake at night. Literally. Since the fight, he hasn’t been able to get more than four or five hours of broken sleep at a time.
When he finally reads Sean’s texts, he knows tonight won’t be any different.
Hey Dad. I need to talk to you about something. Can we meet soon?
Nothing like a “we need to talk” from your child to raise your anxiety level. Ask any parent.
Sure. Can you meet me at Med before shift tomorrow? We can grab breakfast.
No need to stretch the suspense any longer than necessary.
Sounds good. See you tomorrow.
Seems like Sean is just as impatient as he is.
Not helping either.
He puts his phone away, hoping for one more minute of calm before he has to step back into the ED. That prospect lasts all but two seconds when Margo steps outside the front door.
“Hey there! I was hoping I’d run into you.”
“Hey. What are you doing here?” Was his tone too harsh? He didn’t mean to sound like he’s not happy to see her. He is. He’s just… He doesn’t even really know anymore.
Thankfully, she doesn’t seem upset. “I was just up in Cardio for a consult. Are we still on for tonight?”
Shit! He completely forgot they had a date. And it’s not the first time either. Not that he doesn’t enjoy Margo’s company but with everything going on over the summer, the time they have spent together dramatically decreased. He definitely wasn’t as available as he probably should have been. It’s possible Margo was quite busy too but truthfully… he doesn’t know. He can’t quite remember the last time they really talked prior to setting up this date.
“Uh… yeah,” he stumbled. “Yeah, of course. Pick you up at 7, right?”
“That’s the plan,” she nods. He can’t tell whether or not she’s buying whatever he’s selling but it doesn’t matter. A silence stretches between them before she reaches up to land a quick peck on his cheek. She retreats before he can return it. “See you tonight then,” she says and walks away.
Was that as awkward as it felt or is he just that inept?
His headache is back in full force and he pinches the bridge of his nose, right between his eyes, hoping to alleviate the throbbing.
“Everything alright?”
Dean quickly straightens up, dropping his arm to his side before finding himself face to face with Hannah.
“Yeah, all good. Just a little headache.”
With anyone else in front of him, that’s where he’d stop. Not with Hannah though. She somehow always sees right through him. He’s well aware of the kind of image he projects. Tough, rigid, rude sometimes but even before they became friends, she never seemed bothered by it. He should know better than to believe he’d be able to fool her by now.
“I just got a text from Sean,” he admits. “He wants to talk. We’re meeting tomorrow morning.”
“You look worried.” She frowns. “I thought you two made up?”
“We did. We have…” He trails off. She takes a step closer but doesn’t say anything. He can feel her eyes on his face, just waiting for him to elaborate. “Something’s… different, I guess. It’s like he’s holding back. Like he’s hiding something.”
“Well, if he is, and I’m not saying he is but maybe he’s ready to share it with you. And who says it’s not good news?”
He lets out a sarcastic chuckle. “I admire your optimism Hannah, but history has rarely worked out all that well for us.”
“You and Sean went from not talking for 15 years to re-establish a pretty solid relationship. I’d call that working out.”
“We stopped talking for two whole weeks just this summer!”
Her calm voice cuts right through his protest. “And then you talked it through and fixed things. That’s progress. You need to give yourself some credit here, Dean. Sean too. You two have come a long way.”
He opens his mouth to object but nothing comes out. She has a point.
“Listen,” she resumes. “Good or bad, truth is, there’s no point worrying about it until you actually talk to him. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
“I’m gonna hold you to that. Thanks.”
She smiles. “That’s what friends are for.”
He’s not sure how the hell it happened but having Hannah Asher as a friend might be the luckiest break he’s ever gotten.
𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋𑁋
“So anyway, it took three phone calls and a visit to social services but we finally managed to find a placement for this woman’s kids while she comes to the center.”
“That’s good,” Archer replies.
He’s trying his best to follow Margo’s story but he’s exhausted and the pressure inside his head is becoming unbearable. He probably should have canceled but they’ve already been struggling to find time to go out. He didn’t want to add to it.
Thankfully, the meal is coming to an end and she flags down the waiter to bring their bill.
“How about you? How was your day?” She asks. “You’ve been pretty quiet this whole time. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. You know, your regular day in the ED. Just busy.”
“I see.”
She looks dejected.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “It’s been a long day.”
“I get it,” Margo replies.
She looks like she’s about to say more when the waiter comes back. A swipe of his credit card later and the two of them are walking outside, back to his car. He reaches for the door but she grabs his arm, forcing him to face her.
“I know things have been difficult lately. I know the fight with Sean rattled you. Rattled you both actually but I wish you’d come and talk to me.”
“I’m…”
“Sorry. Yeah, I know. You’ve said that,” she cuts. “And I see that you mean it. But this,” she motions the empty space between them. “This is not working. Not anymore.” This is the place where he should be protesting but every word she says is true. His silence only seems to confirm it. He expects her to get frustrated, angry even, but instead, she continues as calm as ever. “It’s okay. We just weren’t right for each other.”
“Are you sure?”
She lets out a soft laugh. “Yes, I am. And so are you. You go,” she continues, waving to his car after a short pause. “I’ll take an Uber home.”
“That’s okay, I can drop you off.”
“No, I feel like walking for a bit. Yes, I’m sure,” she insists before he can ask. “Goodbye, Dean.” She takes a few steps to the sidewalk before turning back. “I really hope you find the right person for you. You’re a good man, Dean Archer,” she adds before finally walking away for good.
He’s not sure how he gets home. Between the exhaustion and the endless cycle of thoughts in his head, he barely remembers getting behind the wheel. The road home is a blur until he pulls into his parking garage.
Once more, he managed to drive away someone he cared about. His first real relationship since the end of his marriage and it seems like he’s learnt exactly nothing. Life with Leanne was always complicated, especially after Sean turned to drugs but ultimately, the same things that led to their downfall broke Margo and him too.
When he unlocks the door to his condo and steps inside, Archer doesn’t bother turning on any lights. He drags himself to the bedroom, half-hazardly kicking off his shoes before he drops on his bed, still fully dressed. Finally, with his eyes closed in complete darkness, the pain in his skull finally subsides.
Emotionally stunted.
Cold.
Self-absorbed.
The words ring in his ears as he eventually drifts off into a disturbed slumber. The words his ex-wife had used when she served him divorce papers. They were true then. What if they’re still true now?