Archive of Our Own

“Ughhhhh,” you groaned, banging your head on the table. Well, you almost did until the feel of cold metal halted the motion. 

“Ratchet, let me hurt myself a little to let out some steam. It’s necessary. This professor assigned me the most boring text to read.” You lifted your head and looked up at the autobot medic who raised his brow.

“I understand wanting to let out your frustrations but you should think twice before trying to even get a scratch on your skin in front of a medic. Especially a medic designated to protect you.” He removed his finger and went right back to his computer to type things that you couldn’t even begin to understand. 

Though, between this text and Ratchet’s research, you were almost close to wishing you were doing the latter which only meant that your homework this time around was truly at the bottom of the boring barrel. 

You huffed as you closed the book and put your hand on your cheek,” Ratchet, me and you should really have a day off. Technically, I don’t need to finish this today.” 

Ratchet responded, his eyes not moving away from the computer in front of him, “ And, technically, the day I take a pause from my research is the day the decepticons win. Hmm…, intriguing” he paused, looking closer to the computer. 

You know that look. When he gets focused like that all your words might as well turn into gibberish. 

While it may look like you would rather have any other bot to be your own, it couldn’t be farther from the truth. 

You met Ratchet a few months ago by accident. He was usually never out on the field but that day turned out to be your lucky day. Well….lucky only in the conclusion, not the events that happened during it. Long story short, A decepticon was desperate and decided to use you as bait to get away. In the midst of it, you ended up fainting and scraping your knee. 

Believing that there were other beings in the universe other than humans was one thing but seeing it with your own eyes while your life in danger at the same time couldn’t even begin to pale in comparison. 

The shock was simply just too much.

Once you gathered your bearings and accepted these new facts, embracing your new life with the auto-bots became nothing more than muscle memory. 

You cared for all of the bots but, of course, you had a soft spot for the one who came to pick you up from university every day. In order to avoid questions you had to make up a story about how your father was a medic and picked you up because he was just that sweet. There were some days where you had different meeting points just to maintain the cover that a medic wasn’t slacking off frequently by picking you up but the two of you managed. 

Ratchet was nothing if not honest. Even with the human race, honesty was a hard thing to come by. Sure, some of his words were a little harsh, but you soon learned that his heart was usually in the right place. 

In turn, his honesty allowed you to be honest as well. As the two of you spent time together, there was no hesitation in telling the man how you felt. Even with your friends, “ I’m fine” became way easier than explaining feelings you thought were burdensome but, with Ratchet, simply just saying how you felt was somehow even easier then ending the conversation with just two words. 

You usually felt a weight off of your shoulders each time.

 It was definitely also because Ratchet never took “ I’m fine.” for an answer. He always wanted you to elaborate, especially if he knew there was something troubling you. He was intelligent and observant, especially when it came to you.

How could you not feel special?

“Hey, Ratchet. You really won’t consider a day off? I could even bargain for a couple of hours. It could be fun. You know, its not good to stare at a computer screen for that long,” you tried to jokingly argue. You knew he would break away from it just for a moment to explain how illogical that sounded for an autobot and you couldn’t be more right.

His fingers stopped typing as he looked at you,” Y/N, need I remind you that a bot’s vision is nothing like a humans. The only way to impair our vision is through specific means but I can assure you none of those is as simple as staring at a screen. Ah-”, he paused, his eyes zooming in on your smirk before zooming back at.

“You’re doing it again. Do not make me explain obvious facts just to veer me off course. I can assure you, it will not work,” he stated as he went straight back to typing on the computer.

You sighed in defeat,” Fine…. I guess I’m the only one with a bot who doesn’t want to indulge in a day off, even for their human’s happiness or well-being. You know Ratchet, a human’s heart can be in poor health if they aren’t happy, right?” You were joking, of course. Partially. You had used this card before but this was the first time you mentioned a heart being affected by emotions, trying to tug on the medical side of his heartstrings. 

And, honestly, you wish you had thought of it sooner.

“ What do you mean? In my studies of the human body, there was no mention of emotions being a factor to anything I came across. Well, except the emotional effect of finding out about their medical issues but, to my knowledge, those two things were completely separate. Do you speak the truth?” He asked, a puzzled look on his face. He was so curious that he even walked away from his computer and came closer to you as he awaited your answer.

“Uh…well, yeah? If we’re really sad, our heart can hurt. Or…we can feel like we’re slowly decaying? Sometimes it makes people unable to move, among other thing” you said, a little unsure. 

You knew what depression was but you didn’t want to sit here and explain that to him. 

“Are you implying that those times you’ve come into my car with a gloomy look on your face that your heart hurts too? Or when you are angry that, along with it increasing your body temperature and reddening your face, it also hurts internally?” he asked, bending his head down to meet you at eye level.

“Um, kind of? But, you usually cheered me up when we talked and gave me advice. So…you were still doing your medic duties, please don’t worry,” you said with a smile, patting the side of his mouth since that was the closest part to you. You only meant to persuade him, not cause him worry. 

“Well, that’s reassuring. Neither my advice nor my listening skills were employed to assist you as a medic. Regardless, it still helped you just the same. As a medic, it is a great honor to hear how I have aided you,” he said, a smile appearing on his face. 

Oh no.

It was not often that the stern and serious Ratchet smiled but, when he did, it made your heart pump and your cheeks grow warm. To be taken aback by an autobot like this was crazy but when you knew it was a smile meant just for you then you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by it. You had already accepted that maybe you were a little off your rockers. As soon as you realized that your feelings became deeper for Ratchet you went through every argument in the book about why you shouldn’t give into this attraction but, in the end, you decided to discard any sound reasoning and became deaf to it. 

He made you laugh. He made you smile. He was loyal. Trustworthy. Honest. Had more manners than most humans you’ve had relationships with. Last of all, he made you happy. What more was there to ask for?

Wait.

Something had suddenly hit you, like a light bulb going off in your head. 

“So…if you did not help as a medic then it was something else?”

Ratchet’s smile disappeared but he answered with an earnest conviction,” As your partner, of course. If someone I cared about lost their spark, I’d naturally try to bring it back. I do not like it when your light dims, it's better if it stays intact.”

You placed your hand over your mouth, trying to hide how you were smiling from ear to ear and doing your best to not blurt out how he just said something adorable. You could never escape his watchful gaze. He found you out all too quickly. 

“Precisely, just like that,” he extended a metal finger out to you. It was about the size of your head but you knew what he was mentioning,” Why are you hiding it? I find your spark quite lovely.”

So much for loving his honesty. It has your heart racing even faster now. 

“ Ratchet…you still have much to learn about the human heart,” you said, finally dropping your hands now that your smile had relaxed a little bit more.

“ What I will say though is, out of the time you spent talking to me, I don’t think that data of yours that you were so focused on has run away, has it?” you asked.

Ratchet stepped back and looked at the computer,” Indeed, it has not.”

“Do you think it will run away if you don’t look at it for two, maybe even three hours?” you questioned.

Ratchet let out a laugh,” Ha, preposterous. It isn't going anywhere. The decepticons may have their tricks but if they had a way to get into my database then they would have done it a long time ago.”

“Perfect, so you can take a break. You and me both. My homework, as much as I hate to say, isn’t going to run off on its own and your data seems impenetrable, per your words. If the world ends in 2-3 hours, I’ll take full blame. A scouts honor,” you said, a smug look on your face as you placed your hand over your heart.

Ratchet sighed,” No need to make such a heavy promise. You win this time, Y/N. I trust if anything occurs Bulkhead or Bumblebee will alert me and I can be bridged back. Now, do you have a plan for this 2-3 hours?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.”

Did you have a plan? Absolutely not but considering there were only so many places both a human and transformer could hangout, you were sure it wouldn’t take you that long to think of one. 

You sat in the front seat as Ratchet drove the two of you to the top of a nearby cliff. You had food ordered to a location nearby the base just in case anyone had any funny ideas. 

In about an hour, the sun would set and you would be able to watch it with Ratchet. Part of you was still feeling giddy from what he said earlier. You knew the autobots were perfectly capable of feeling emotions but you had yet to hear about them having romantic relationships or crushing on someone. It seemed like they were all dedicated to their cause. 

If they could be jealous, then maybe they would get so jealous to the point of having a human all to themselves? Ratchet was passionate about his work and job so maybe there was a chance the same passion could extend towards you? That's what you hoped for but you knew it wouldn't be as simple as that. 

“Shoot, the food got a little cold. Ratchet?” you asked as you held up the bag with a small pout and pleading eyes. He was too sweet to decline but you still felt like making a face. It made you feel even more spoiled when he indulged you. 

This wasn't the first time you had done it, so he knew what to do. He held his index finger out, let you set the food down, then let his hand heat up a bit.

It took all but a few seconds before your food was warmed up. Convenient and easier than getting up to place it inside a microwave. 

“ I know you can’t enjoy food like I do but I’m assuming it's the same as filling yourself up with energon when you’re low, right?” you asked. 

Ratchet nodded.

“It’s like your human cars with fuel. If we run out, we simply shut down.” He responded.

You knew that much about energon but you would admit that it felt a little lonely eating by yourself. 

The loneliness disappeared though when Ratchet spoke and looked down at you with a smile,” While I may not be able to partake in your meal with you, it does bring me great joy to see it make you happy. Both as a medic and your companion. I’ve also noticed you take small bites.”

Did he notice that as well? He really did look at you a lot, didn’t he? You wondered if he had already noticed that you had a crush on him but was staying silent until you found the courage to tell him yourself. 

“A-ahem. Is my eating that amusing to you? You should pay more attention to this beautiful sunset that’s happening soon rather than me,” you said, feeling flustered and self-conscious at the same time. 

Ratchet turned back and looked at the sunset, “ Although there is much I could be doing. Decrypting codes, searching for enegeron deposits, reorganizing our inventory, or even-”

“Ratchet.”  

Ratchet paused,” Ah..I see. I know what that means,” he said, referring to how your voice dropped in pitch when you put an emphasis on his name. 

“Yes. What I meant to say is, despite the many things I could be doing, spending time with you seems to be just as valuable. I apologize for my stubbornness,” he admitted. 

Huh? What did he just say?

“Ratchet, did you take some of that artificial energon again?” You asked.

Ratchet scoffed,” What a preposterous suggestion. I have not. Even I can own up to my own flaws.”

You couldn't help but let out a giggle,” Okay okay, it's fine, I've been just as stubborn but, seriously, haven't you had hobbies? You weren't always a medic, right?” you asked but quickly spoke before he could even finish,” Oh, you don't have to answer that by the way if you don't want to.”

Your eyes looked down as Ratchet’s metal hand balled up into a fist and then slowly released. 

Shit…did you go too far? You were always careful not to ask about their past if you could help it. 

Even if yours was a simple question, you never knew if it made him think about a life he did not want to relive. 

This was only because each time they had to mention it to explain a situation you saw hopelessness in their eyes and, when they would reminisce, there was a hint of pain along with the happiness of remembering whatever memory was told.

 It was a past that they could never get back. A home they could no longer return to.

Ratchet shook his head in disagreement, “ No, its okay. It's truly been quite a bit, is all. Most of my recent memories are flooded in what was an endless war. There was no time for rest. I had soon forgotten what it was to do anything but repair injured autobots only for them to dive right back into the war.”

Just as Ratchet had slowly started to learn little things about you, you had also learned little things about him. One such thing is that this man had always avoided talking about the past, usually leaving it up to the other autobots. 

You bit the inside of your lip. You had two options. You could tell him that he didn't need to continue to think about it and move on with the conversation or you could use this as an opportunity to get closer to the autobot.

No matter how selfish one might think it might be, you chose the latter. Besides, there was no one there to judge you in the first place. 

“Well…. You fought before you were a medic, right? I don't know much but I can imagine it's a lot more pressure to save other people's live rather than just your own.” You said. 

Ratchet watched the sun slowly go down and hide behind the clouds in the distance, painting the sky with hues of red, orange, and pink. 

“Indeed, it is a lot tougher than battle I will admit. You count the number of casualties as a medic. In battle, you are simply fighting until the enemy draws back or waves their white flag. Numbers did not matter as much.” That was all he could say and you definitely weren't going to push it any further. 

You looked up at him and felt like one of his walls had been let down for you. The autobot had a solemn look on his face as he stared off into the distance. You were sure he was remembering things but did not want to say it. 

You've spent too much time with him to know that he always tried to maintain a layer of toughness because he felt like it was his duty as a medic. How could he panic in front of someone who was doing exactly that? 

It was a combo that didn't work.

Regardless, you were happy he opened up for you, even just for a little bit. For you, not anyone else. You had to keep telling yourself but it was precisely this special kind of treatment that fed into your delusions about him reciprocating your feelings and starting a relationship. 

Unfortunately, instead of it only being just for his job, it had become a part of his personality.

You looked down and saw that his hands were open and all you could think about was how lonely they must be. Praying you weren't overstepping, you placed your hand on top of his thumb. 

Despite your hands not being big enough to hold his metal ones, you hoped that the sentiment of trying to comfort him was still felt. 

Ratchet looked down, his eyes zooming in and out on your hand. He's long since been accustomed to how tiny humans are in comparison to them but, despite your size, your mere presence and touch has made a much bigger impact than he would ever imagined. 

“Thank you, Y/N,” he said as he flashed a quick smile and then looked back towards the sunset, “ If I would have to choose a new hobby, I suppose watching the sunset with you serves as a nice past-time.”

While there were other times you had persuaded Ratchet into taking a break, it was short-lived and way too fast. Most of those also happened in the base because you had only managed to convince him of the fact that “You’re literally right here. If anything bad happens, all you have to do is walk a few steps to your computer.” You’d make him indulge you in watching movies together or even playing a video game while he watched you. 

While he did ask questions frequently about things he should not be looking at with a logical mind, you did not care as long as he wasn’t at the computer and his brain wasn’t actively engaged in thinking about whatever research he was currently working on.

So, coming out to watch the sunset with you was definitely a milestone. It felt like you had earned an achievement in a video game that you had spent hours trying to get. For him to call it a new hobby filled you up with a bigger sense of satisfaction than you had expected. 

You were smiling from ear to ear, yet again.

“Sooo, that means that we can do this more often?” You asked.

Ratchet looked down at you and nodded his head,” I'll allow it. Every once in a while. Your smile is a few centimeters wider than your usual. I wasn’t aware it would make you this happy,” he said as he looked back at the sun that was slowly disappearing behind the mountains. “I’m curious as to why you would prefer doing this with me rather than another human. In most of my databases, it seems that human social and physical contact is required for your species survival. Am I not hindering you?”

You tried to keep a straight face but your lips could only quiver with a smile for so long before laughter started to erupt from your stomach,” Haha…ahaha…Hahahaha! My species what? Sur..survival..? Pfft! One second-” you waited until the thought of reproducing wasn’t absolutely hilarious to you which took you about two minutes. Maybe three. 

After wiping the tears from your eyes, you spoke to maybe clear up some of Ratchet’s confusion. The sun was long gone by now but the sky was slowly being lit up by the numerous stars in the sky. “ I’m but one person. There are so many humans now that some of us can afford to…well, not focus on reproducing? As for the social part, I’m getting more than enough from you. It doesn’t exactly have to be from another human. I do have friends but…you’re different. I enjoy hanging out with you more.”

You could tell that Ratchet was still a little confused but you waited for more questions rather than rambling on about why you could care less about the intimacy side of things or stop yourself into accidentally confessing to the autobot which, you had to admit, you considered at least a few times in the past two hours.

It was his fault for being so….sweet and considerate! But what on earth could he gain from forming a romantic relationship with a human? That’s the question you kept trying to find an answer for. 

“ So, to clarify, even though I have sworn myself to protect you and have given you free reign to live your life so long as I’m close by, you still choose to spend your mortal hours with me? The Decepticons aren’t as big of a threat as they once were. I had only assumed you insisted on coming to the base out of fear but who am I to question such a thing? I know firsthand how debilitating it could be. You… are not scared?” he asked.

“Huh? No. Not anymore. I just really like spending time with you. Because you’re special,” you responded.

Yes, you were aware of how dangerously close this was to confessing but, if you did end up confessing, Ratchet only had himself to blame. If he asked too many clarifying questions you would have no choice to be honest. There was no way you could lie to him or play it off. Not when your feelings had grown so much to the point where even your body language was practically calling you out. 

Still, that did not stop you from feeling any less embarrassed. You moved your gaze towards the stars in the sky to provide you some distraction from any further questions.

“ Special?” 

You bit your cheek. Did you have to put it into Ratchet terms?

“Your presence to me is….significant. Extremely significant. More than anyone else,” you said, turning your head because you felt and heard movement. What you didn’t expect was the autobot to be on his knees, bending down to move his face closer to your own. You scooted back in surprise. 

“R-Ratchet ! maybe a word before you put your face in front of mine?” you managed to stutter out, thankful you had half a mind to leave out the word Handsome in front of the word face.

“ Apologies. I only meant to share the same sentiments. Up close, so you can decide or not whether my words are deceiving, just like I can for you. Now, may you repeat that one more time?” he asked.

One more time. WHAT? So he could have it on record? Your heart was already beating fast enough to drum in your ears, what more could he want. You wanted to look away but his gaze seemed so intense that it would feel disrespectful to do even that.

There was no choice but to suck it up. You balled your fists to your sides and took a deep breath.

You start slowly and continue with the same pace, “Your presence is…significant. Just like…how you guys can’t live without energon. I can’t live without you. You’re my..fuel. Something…like that, you make me happy is what I’m trying to say, better than any human can. Believe it or not.”

His staring combined with his beautiful physical features left you under some type of spell and you were sure that is what caused you to say such a cringe-worthy comparison. It was enough to make you lose a brain cell or two. 

“ I see. You do seem to be telling the truth. I am flattered. Without a doubt, I can also say that my time spent with you has been just as significant. Rewarding, even. As much as it is my duty to save the human race, I don’t think I’d prefer to have any other companion if it were not you,” he said, pointing his index finger towards you. 

At this point, you were unsure if this was him accepting your confession or him also flattering you. You couldn’t afford to leave any ambiguity in the air and you figured it was now your time to ask a clarifying question. Mimicking his own pose, you also got on your knees and scooted closer to his face. 

With him, the only thing you had to lose was any hope for a relationship because you could tell he was honest when he spoke about you being special and protecting you. He was too kind to pull something stereotypical like avoiding you so he could “figure out his feelings” and too honest to feed you a lie about “ seeing where things go.” like you’ve heard too many times in the past. 

You spoke softly, your hands unraveling from its tensed up state, only for you to crawl forward to close the distance and place them gently on Ratchet’s cold metal cheeks, “Ratchet, do you understand what is happening? I like you. Romantically. No matter how weird it is or unconventional or absolutely insane, I like you. Not anyone else.”

Ratchet was silent for a moment before he chuckled and it settled into a smile. If he had not shown an expression that was so rare, you honestly would have called him out on finding anything humurous during what was supposed to be a heartfelt moment.

His smile and laugh was rather adorable, though. You wished to see it for a bit longer. 

“ Y/N, I fully comprehend your words, I only hope that you understand the weight of them,” he responded.

Your eyes were still bouncing around, trying to find more of an answer than the one he had just provided in those glowing orbs. Did this mean it was mutual or did Ratchet already know and had prepared to reject you the moment you made your feelings known?  

You felt a little silly when you realized this wasn’t just any autobot you were talking about, but one of the more intelligent ones. If he paid attention to you as much as he said he did then he must have already realized how you felt for him. You still had so many questions but, before you could open your mouth to try to do so, he spoke before you again. 

He noticed that you were going to say something but you nodded your head up and down, giving him the go ahead to speak first. 

 “Before you became my companion, I was content with my life. To me, it was neither monotonous nor boring, only something that I deemed necessary. I still do to this day. However, this did make me more wary of even the slightest change in my routine. That is why when we met I will admit I was reserved. I kept you at a distance in an attempt for things to still remain the same. You thwarted said plans though. You have an amazing personality that I could not help but let down some of those walls.”

You thought about his words. It was true that Ratchet was hard to make friends with but you knew you had no choice since he was going to be your autobot. You had to get a little close so it would not be so awkward between you too. It now made sense as to why it was a challenge at first but you felt happier knowing that he stopped seeing you as a burden. You had to give yourself a pat on the back later for being so perseverant. 

Ratchet continued speaking throughout your inner monologue,”Slowly but surely, you have made yourself not just part of my routine, but an exciting part of my day. I’ve already analyzed all the possibilities, long before your confession, until I ultimately arrived at a conclusion. My affection towards you most likely transcends that of a normal companion. Thinking about any threat, say, another person disrupting that, fills me up with a jealousy even Optimus might tell me to steer clear of. If that were to be the case, I might find myself scrambling to pick up the pieces. If I am able to ensure that this will not change by agreeing to be in a relationship with you, then I suppose there is no other option. I do like you, Y/N. If you have already thought about this properly, then would you do me-”

“Ratchet!”

You happily shouted at him as you hugged his face,” Of course. Yes. Absolutely. You talk too much sometimes, do you know that? But your words were really sweet, so I can let it pass. I’ve already weighed everything, it can only be you,” you said as you did your best to hug him tighter. 

Ratchet chuckled,“ Sorry, but I mean every word. So long as you understand. There may be much to navigate but you are lucky to be in the care of someone who is an expert at it,” he said, moving an arm around you, as close as he could possibly get without crushing you. You felt the warmth emanating from his face and off his hand, a warmth you chalked up to him feeling just elated as you were right now.

Because your feelings were mutual.

You felt a tear fall down your face but you wanted to hug him for a while longer. 

Ratchet pulled away first and noticed your wet cheek,” Did you cry?” he asked,” I should have a tissue box somewhere.”

“Ah, no it’s fine,” You said with a smile as you wiped your cheek with your sleeve,” Even though I knew how insane liking an autobot was, it still feels a little surreal that you like me back. I had been keeping it to myself this whole time. Are you really sure you're okay with me?” It was only now that you also realized that your hands were also shaking a little due to your nerves. 

Ratchet spoke as he let his hand fall to the ground, holding his palm out,” I can assure you that it is real. I thought I was the one who usually complicated things. What is it you’ve told me countless times? Live in the moment, correct? Hop on,” he gestured to his hand.

“Thanks, Ratchet. What’s happening, are we going somewhere?” You asked as you climbed on. 

 “No, we’ll stay right here.”

He folded his hands up about halfway and stood up from the ground. Ratchet then placed you on his shoulder, allowing you to settle and sit on it before he spoke again,” You like looking at the stars, correct? You’ll be a little bit closer this way. I never appreciate them properly being in the base all the time.”

You giggled, “ Ratchet you don’t know how much of a romantic you are, do you?” you posed as you scooted closer to his head and let your head rest on the side of it. “I do like gazing at them but I just discovered something new.”

“Oh? And what is that, Y/N?” he asked.

“ The stars shine even brighter when I’m looking at them with the person I like. Maybe we can share this new hobby together,” you said. You pulled away for a second to give him a kiss on the cheek, not even caring if it was too soon or not. There had been too many times when he would act adorable and all you could do was scream on the inside or dig your fingernails into your palms to not jump up and kiss him. 

To a point, it almost became tortuous. Now that you could do it whenever you pleased felt so liberating. 

You settled your head back on his as you saw his mouth turn into a smile after the action.

“ You have my vote. It shall be our new favorite hobby.”

There was still a mountain of questions that you needed to ask him and things that would to be discussed but you heeded his words. 

You'll just live in the moment for now. 

Take it one day at a time.