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"Well, well," Phoenix drawled, a horrid kind of glee evident in his voice. "What have we here."
Apollo cleared his throat and attempted to stand a little straighter. Okay. He could handle this. "Just... a guy going to work like usual."
"Oh Apollo," his boss said pityingly. "Is that the same suit as yesterday?"
"My laundry got lost at the cleaners, I was just going to change into the extra I keep here," Apollo claimed. Internally, he was screaming I AM FINE.
"And your hair gel was lost with it? What an unfortunate turn of events," Phoenix said. He had a perfectly straight face, even his words didn't sound too obviously sarcastic, but Apollo could feel his face heating up regardless, because it was beyond obvious that his boss knew the reason for his disheveled appearance.
And Phoenix was fucking overjoyed about it.
Still, if the man had ever taught him anything, it was to never give up on a bluff, so Apollo was determined to soldier on like nothing had ever-
"Athena! Have you been out all night?"
...or he could just totally throw his coworker to the wolves, that was always a valid option.
Still, knee-jerk reaction to get the attention off himself it might have been, but the way Athena had completely frozen at the top of the stairs was confirmation enough. Well, it would have been obvious from her outfit alone, exactly like yesterday's except (dear god) missing several buttons, but...
"No I haven't!" Athena blurted, at the same time as Widget yelled "THEY KNOW!"
There was a moment of very awkward silence.
"Oh Athena," Phoenix said. He sounded very disappointed, and Athena's shoulders hunched up towards her ears. Apollo was just about to get very fired up at double standards when, "You two couldn't have waited one more week? I had a whole crate of grape juice resting on this."
"I-I-" Athena stuttered. Apollo heaved a sigh, habitually rolled his eyes, and tried to inch up behind Phoenix to the office's front door. Finally, she sighed, seeming to relax a little into a more resigned sort of mortification. "...And I even came in extra early just to avoid this."
"Yes, well, if it makes you feel any better so did Apollo, and he failed even worse than you did," Phoenix said nonchalantly, and leaned backwards against the door before Apollo could get his key in, that asshole. "Look, no hairgel!"
Athena blinked, looking at Apollo properly for the first time, and did a double-take at his appearance. He shifted awkwardly in place, glaring at his boss.
"I told you, I was out of-"
"Yeah, laundry and hairgel and ties, we get it. Couldn't you have borrowed one of those at least? I mean, I'm definitely not asking what happened to the tie you had on yesterday, but I'm sure Gavin owns a few of his own."
Apollo jumped and looked down at himself. Horrifyingly, Phoenix was right: no tie. It must still be tied to - "HOLD IT! W-wh-what do you mean, Gavin?! Who said that we - I mean, we're n - he's the enemy!"
"...Oh, Apollo," Athena said, which was very unfair. It wasn't like she hid her own affair any better.
"How are you two even good lawyers when you lie this badly," Phoenix muttered mournfully.
"Well, we wouldn't even have to be lying right now if you'd just been two hours late like usual," Apollo hissed.
"Yeah, well," Phoenix shrugged, and scratched at his jaw. Apollo's eyes narrowed.
"Boss?" Athena said slowly, stepping closer. "Why are you here so early? And so..."
"Professional," Apollo finished suspiciously. Now that he was properly paying attention, it was definitely very weird. Phoenix was neatly shaved, hair groomed to perfection, dressed in his fancy new doublebreasted waistcoat with what looked like an actual pocketwatch complete with chain tucked into the pocket, and not even a tiny stainspot in sight. His badge was gleaming almost painfully bright on his jacket lapel. Speaking of ties, his looked like silk today, and further down...
"Did you get your shoes shined?" Apollo demanded.
Phoenix looked down at his feet. "Huh. I guess I did. Would you look at that."
"Are we on some really big case today?" Athena asked worriedly. "I swear, Widget never rang or I would have been here right away!"
"No, he wouldn't do this for his actual work," Apollo dismissed. "Did Trucy get an award or something? ...Are you gonna drag us to some stupid magic festival?"
"No and no," Phoenix laughed. "Come on, guys! Isn't it obvious?"
Apollo and Athena looked at one another. Then back at their boss.
"No," they said in unison.
Phoenix heaved a dramatic sigh, though there was a grin lingering on his lips. "I'm on my Walk of Shame too, obviously! Every single time I spend the night, Edgeworth forces me into these clothes that I don't know how he finds the time to clean given what we've been doing - kinda afraid to look Gumshoe in the eye though - and makes me get up and to work at this ungodly hour. I mean, look at me."
He gestured down at himself: intelligent, handsome, poised, the very picture of a man in which you'd want to trust your future - and then at the two of them: sloppy, flushed, clearly having just rolled out of someone else's bed and right out the door, probably at least three hickeys on display between the two of them.
"We're in the exact same position here, obviously," Phoenix snickered, and finally turned to unlock the door. "It's the whole reason I haven't made any embarrassing comments."
Apollo and Athena had just enough time to exchange incredulous glances behind their boss's back, before the door swung open... to reveal Trucy, waiting with a smile on her face and a magic wand tapping in her hand.
"'Thena, Polly, Daddy, good morning," she said with a certain devilish emphasis. "How are the prosecutors doing?"