Chapter Text
Tim was aware the Dick was trailing after him but he made no attempt to turn, simply holding out his arm behind himself.
For a moment, nothing at all happened but then Dick’s hand curled into his own. The grip was weak, barely there at all, but Tim made sure not to squeeze too tightly himself.
Tim weaved the both of them through the crowd, keeping Dick safe best he could. Once they were free from most of the sea of people, Tim brought his older brother towards a bench that by some miracle was empty.
When he tried to coax Dick down onto it, Dick shook his head hard.
“Home?” Tim offered instead.
Another shake, though Dick’s eyes seemed a million miles away.
No bench but no home either. A library then, Tim decided. Somewhere that would have enough stimuli going on without being too overwhelming for him.
Tim walked slightly in front of Dick again, acting as a buffer between Dick and any strangers who got too close. It was slow going, Dick’s every step stiff, but Tim simply kept moving. He didn’t speak to Dick, not yet at least, letting Dick’s mind switch off as much as it needed to until they managed to get somewhere quieter.
What exactly was going on with Dick, Tim didn’t know.i All he knew was that Dick’s breathing was off now, as was his usual graceful movements, and that was enough for Tim to be worried about him.
There didn’t seem to be any outright pain in Dick, not favouring any particular side, not gasping when his foot caught on the pavement and made him jolt forward a little. Not an injury, then, at least not a physical one.
It wasn’t a migraine either, at least not a fully realised migraine.
Dick was probably just having a rough day, Tim decided.
The closest library was just a small one, one of the countless libraries set up throughout the city to give people both access to education and a safe refuge should they need it. Tim knew that some of the bigger libraries even had dedicated sensory rooms to help neurodiverse or mentally ill Gothamite’s, or really anyone just having a particularly bad day, that have different types of sensory input that helped people who needed them to help regulate their emotions.
This library in particular didn’t have one of those rooms, and was instead little more than a small seating area and a few bookshelves of free to borrow books.
The seating area had some couches and while none of them were free, there were two bean bags that no one was using, no doubt to be used with the TV and game console that were both bolted in in an attempt to make sure they weren’t stolen.
It took a little while to coax Dick into sitting down, his jaw clenched tight, his usually dazzling blue eyes unable to meet Tim’s own. Once Dick was down though, he sank down into the fabric, giving off a relieved sigh.
Tim didn’t comment on his obvious relief, simply putting his backpack down beside the beanbags, sitting on the remaining one.
Dick would talk when he wanted to, pressuring him into acknowledging that he wasn’t doing okay wasn’t going to help anyone, least of all Dick.
“Sorry.”
Dick’s voice was faint, his eyes only half focused on some arbitrary spot on the ground.
Tim did not answer him. He brought out his phone, flicked through some notifications. Then he set the phone very clearly on the small table across from the bean bags.
After a long moment, Dick’s shaking hand brought out his own phone. He put it down next to Tim’s.
“Tim, I…” Dick swallowed roughly. “Nothing feels real.”
“Okay.”
Dick’s laugh was harsh and without humour. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging hard at it.
Tim shifted a little, leaning towards him but not touching him, simply putting his own hand out between them. Dick tugged on his hair hard again then he summoned what courage he could, he forced his hand to let go, instead curling into Tim’s once more.
“It’s not real.” Dick said. “None of this is real.”
“What’s around us?”
“Tim,”
“Humour me.” Tim said. “I know you don’t like doing it, but what’s around us right now?”
Tim gave him plenty of time to take in their surroundings.
“Only two exits.” Dick said.
“Three.” Tim said.
He tilted his head towards another window that was large enough to escape through, not that they needed to escape.
“Three exits.” Dick said hollowly. “Librarian. Seven civies, four of which are kids. They’re in danger.”
“They’re safe.” Tim corrected.
“Safe.” Dick echoed. He shook his head. “He’s coming. Tim, he’s coming. They’re going to die. They’re all going to die.”
Tim didn’t think that Dick was talking about the civilians anymore.
“They’re safe.” Tim said. “We’re safe. What are we sitting on?”
“Wooden chairs. The ropes are too tight. They’re digging into my wrists.”
“Dick,” Tim said softly.
Tim shifted Dick’s hand a little, running the back of it against the fabric of the bean bag.
Dick’s blink was slow but Tim gave him all the time he needed to process it.
“No wood.” Dick said.
“No wood.” Tim said. “What else?”
“Iron. It smells like iron. There’s so much blood. It burns, all of it burns.”
Tim tilted his head. He looked through his backpack, finding a small glass bottle that he kept in a ziplock bag so it’s contents wouldn’t risk spilling onto any of his tech. Instead of spraying it himself, he pressed it into Dick’s free hand.
Almost immediately the perfume dropped from Dick’s hand but the bottle didn’t shatter.
“Would you like me to do it?” Tim asked.
Dick’s gaze did not raise but he didn’t shake his head either.
Tim sprayed the perfume, far enough away as to not risk any of it getting onto Dick’s skin or in his eyes, but close enough as to not disturb any of the other patrons.
“No blood.” Dick said. He shook his head hard. “But he’s hurt. He’s hurt and he’s bleeding and it’s all my fault.”
Instead of spaying the perfume again, Tim let Dick’s own body work through every sensation it was feeling.
“No blood.” Dick repeated a little more strongly. “But… No antiseptic either. Flowers. Lavender?”
“Lavender and sandalwood, great job Dick.”
“Dick.” He said. “My name is Dick. And you’re Tim. But Tim is not waking up. He’s bleeding and he’s not waking up. He, he’s going to, fuck he’s going to die. He’s going to die and it’s all my-”
Tim was up and off the bean bag in an instant, pressing Dick’s hand hard onto his chest.
“I’m not dying.” Tim said firmly.
But Dick was already shaking his head again.
“You can control your heartbeat,” Dick said. “You don’t want me to know. You’re going to die and you don’t want me to know.”
“I’m not dying, Dick,” Tim said. “My heart is beating strongly not because I’m forcing it to but because I am okay. I am not hurt. I am not sick. I am okay. We are okay.”
“But Jay, he,”
“Jason’s okay too.” Tim said.
He glanced towards his phone, considering calling Jason just to see if Jason’s voice might be able to ground Dick but Dick’s posture had stiffened all over again. His eyes were barely open, glazed over as if he wasn’t entirely here and in a sense he wasn’t.
“We got out?” Dick croaked.
“We got out.” Tim said. “We’re okay now, because you kept us safe.”
“We got out…”
“What else can you feel or see around us right now?”
Dick’s blink was slow. His head rose, barely moving at all, his eyes struggling to focus on anything in particular.
“Books.” Dick said. “There were no books there.”
“No.” Tim said. “No, there wasn’t.”
“Am I…” Dick blinked again. “Am I hallucinating? Am I imagining that we got out? Or… Or am I imagining that we didn’t?”
“Dick.” Tim said softly, holding Dick’s hand close to his chest. “I know it doesn’t feel like it, but we did get out. Dad saved us, remember? He saved us and he brought us back home.”
“This isn’t home.”
“This is a library,” Tim nodded. “But we’re going to go home real soon.”
“Library.” Dick said. “Jason likes libraries. He… He would have wanted to come here. But he can’t. He can’t because he’s gone because of me.”
“Jason is with Damian.”
“They’re dead.” Dick said. “They’re both dead because I wasn’t strong enough.”
“They’re both okay,” Tim said. “Jason took Damian for the day. If you would like, I can call them right now. It can be a video call, that way you can see for sure that it’s really them.”
Dick considered for a long moment. He shook his head.
“I…” Dick tried. “I don’t want Damian to see me like this.”
Tim forced his own breathing to stay even, same with his heart beat. He felt guilty for manipulating his heart beat after all but he couldn’t help it, no when he knew full well that Damian has seen Dick get like this before.
They all have.
“But…” Dick said. “They are alive?”
“Yes.” Tim said. “You kept them safe, Dick. You kept us all safe.”
Dick’s nod was as stiff as the rest of them.
“The rug is red. It’s red but it isn’t blood.” Dick took a shuddering breath. “There are books on the shelves. This… This is the kid’s section.”
When Dick’s head shifted, trying to take in the rest of their surrounds, Tim slowly lowered Dick’s hand from his chest, still keeping it in his own.
“I… I think I know where we are. I took Jay here a few times. He liked that they had live readings.”
“I think there’s another one in a few hours.” Tim said. “But we should probably go home before it starts.”
Dick nodded though this time it seemed a little easier.
“This is real.” Dick said. “The bean bags. The books. You. It’s real.”
“Yes.”
“The rest. The blood. The… The pain. The screams. That never happened.”
Tim opened his mouth. He closed it again. Then he squeezed Dick’s hand tightly, wishing not for the first time that he could take all of Dick’s pain away from him.
“It did happen.” Tim said gently. “But it’s all over now. We’re safe now. We’re okay now.”
“We’re okay now.” Dick said. “We’re… We’re okay now.”
Dick’s breathing hitched and then again.
“Yeah,” Tim said.
He leaned forward, forecasting his every move before his brushed a stray tear from Dick’s face. Once the first had fallen though it was like a dam had been broken. Dick’s sob was silent, so used to not wanting to give their captor the satisfaction of his screams, but his whole body shook with the effort of it.
“Dick? Dick, I want to hug you, is that okay?”
Dick’s nod this time was jolting, more tears pouring down his face.
Even with the permission Tim moved slowly. He took Dick into his arms, cradling him close to his chest, resting his chin on the top of Dick’s head. He soothed Dick through it as best he could, hoping that his voice alone might be able to prove to Dick that they really were safe now, they really were okay.
At least, as okay as they could be after everything that had happened.
“Tim…” Dick croaked.
“Shh, I’ve got you… It’s okay, Dick, it’s okay now.”
Tim’s side ached but he pushed it aside, focusing solely on making sure that Dick was alright.
He didn't understand why in Dick's moment of vulnerability he had seeked out Tim, why Dick would even want Tim to touch him let alone hold him after everything that had happened. He cherished the contact all the same, even knowing that he did not deserve it.