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He never thought so much could start from such a harmless comment.
It was a picnic in November, for Akito’s birthday. The rest of Vivid Bad Squad had surprised him with a party at the bowling place, which was an odd location to pick, but Akito couldn’t say he didn’t have fun. They all had a grand old time knocking over the little pins, and when it was all over, there was a huge buffet of items waiting for them at the nearby restaurant. Akito, naturally, had dug in, seeing all his favorite foods laid out so appealingly for him.
And then it happened.
“Akito, you always eat so much,” teased An, poking him in the tummy as he reached for another chicken leg. Akito frowned, looking down at his plate self-consciously.
“D-Do I really?” he asked, trying to go along with the joke, but a serious note of doubt had crept in. Nearby, Kohane laughed nervously, looping her hand through An’s.
“An-chan, he needs it, doesn’t he?” she says meekly. “he’s built more than the rest of us, so he needs all the food he can get.”
“Relax, I was just kidding,” An says, raising her hands up in surrender. “But it’s true. Don’t you agree, Toya?”
Toya, who had been listening in with a light smirk, turned his eyes to Akito. Akito could feel the familiar frenzied thudding of his delicate heart as he made eye contact with his crush– not that the other boy would ever know it, though. “Well,” he says, in a teasing tone. “Akito definitely could benefit from cutting down on the sweets and snacks a little.”
“I s-suppose…” Akito laughed, scratching the back of his head, but a root of something bitter had lodged itself in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, his favorite chicken legs didn’t look so tasty anymore.
Would Toya like him more if he was skinnier?
Akito wore a light green hoodie, looking at himself in the mirror. His normally soft round cheeks looked a bit sunken, pale and bloodless. He hadn’t eaten breakfast for two days now. Not that anyone had noticed. But they’d notice when he was skinnier.
“Akito, want some pancaeks,?” came the text from Toya. Akito shook his head sadly. He walked away from the mirror, moving to the weighing scale and letting out a disbelieving snort at the reading.
It hadn’t budged.
“no…” whispered Akito, falling to his knees. This couldn’t be.
He had to go further, push himself more. That was what he always did.
“Not going to eat anything, Aki?” Toya questioned, looping his arm around Akito’s waist and snuggling close to him. They were on the rooftop, cuddling as the winter sun began to set early, and Akito felt a brief flicker of happiness before it too was extinguished.
“‘M not hungry,” Akito told his boyfriend quietly. Yes, somewhere in the middle of it all they’d started dating. Toya had to be the one to confess, of course. Akito had been so unbelievably happy, to the point he would randomly giggle and blush, but he doesn’t know how he ended up like this again.
“If you say so.” Toya was oblivious as always as he dug into his own cookies happily. “Have I ever told you? You’re so nice to cuddle, Aki. So small and soft. Look, my hand is so big compared to yours.”
Akito hummed, feeling a soft smile on his lips as he looked at their hands joined together. He was reminded once again that he was doing the right thing. Staying small and petite made him loveable.
R i g h t ?
H̸̹̥̐̓e̵͝ͅ ̷̡̪͍̎̒h̷̡͔̭̉̾̚ä̷͎͔̼́̾d̷̥͗n̸̛͍̰͓̂͠’̸͚̑̓t̶̮̃̓̊ ̶̢̰̥̓̈́̉e̶̳̻͗͠ä̶̘́̀t̸̼̏͋͘ĕ̶͖̭͛̀n̵̟͚̭͠ ̶̝̮̦̀̋i̵̖͂̎̇n̶̘͔̻̓̃ ̷̠͌͝t̵͎̏h̸̨̼̀̈́ŗ̷̬͑̐e̶͚̽e̴̦͛̇͗ ̵̫͝d̵͕͉̎̈́͒a̸͉̐͂͝y̸̰͐̊s̷͙͂.̶̭̣͙̈́
It was during weekend practice that the curtains finally fell. Akito’s vision had been going blurry in between twirls, but suddenly he was crashing down to the floor. Distantly, he could hear the voices of his teammates crying out in panic. The steady, muscular warmth of Toya as he scooped him into his arms, desperately pleading for him to be ok.
The next thing he heard was the beeping of hospital equipment, the IV drip pumping sugar into his arms. He should rip it out, his mind screams at him, but he’s too lethargic to do even that.
“I’m sorry… I’m a failure…”
“Aki???!?!?!” Toya shouted, rushing over to his side. “Oh my god, I’m so happy you’re ok.”
“Y-You aren’t m-mad?” Akito whispers. Thoya looked thunderstruck.
“Why would I be?” he asked, grabbing his hand. “I love you more than anything, Akito. I would never want you to do this to yourself.”
“R-Really?” asked Akito, his strikingly green eyes now sparkling with tears. Toya wiped them away, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
“Don’t cry, baby,” he whispered, stroking his soft orange locks with two yellow strands. “I’ll never let this happen to you again.”
“Toya…”
“We’ll fix this,” Toya promises, holding Akito’s hand in his and gazing deep into his eyes with his metallic grey orbs. “I love you, you know that, right?”
“Y-yes… I love you too,” whispered Akito back, leaning his forehead against Toya’s. He felt hopeful again, for the first time in a while.
It would all be alright again. He would make it alright.