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Days turned to months ever since Shauna had to bare witness to Jackie’s on and off relationship with Jeff Sadecki, the one person she disliked as much as Randy Walsh. It was a tough pill to swallow when she heard how Jackie got back together with him that one night after Lauren’s 16th birthday party. She hated how Jackie recalled and reminisced how both her and Jeff kissed oh so lovingly, like new weds on their special day. She nearly barfed at the image, but held it in to save face.
Jackie was her cheery joyful self like always, even after grueling soccer practice, while Shauna bit her tongue—a bit annoyed of how Jeff had his arm around Jackie’s shoulder. The queen bee honey-blonde smiled and grabbed hold of one of Shauna’s hands. “I’m thinking nine o’clock, you, me, and Jeff at the woods party tonight,” Jackie said with raised eyebrows, waiting for Shauna’s approval.
“Sorry, but I’m gonna be busy tonight.” Shauna shrugged, hoping Jackie would accept her lie. But Jackie was persistent.
“With what? I’m gonna be bored without you there, please?” Jackie pouted.
Shauna internally laughed in bitterness, and she thought, “No you won’t, you have Jeff.” She was angered, hurt, and scared by Jackie all at once. No one else has managed to make Shauna feel all sorts of emotions, mostly hopelessness and jealousy, like Jackie Taylor. It drained her heavily being near and being away from Jackie, and she was at a lost for words with all the feelings that turmoiled inside her. All because of Jackie.
“Fine,” Shauna sighed, giving up her pride and ego.
Jackie smiled bright towards her and Shauna’s heart jumped at the expression. She truly was hopeless when it came to Jackie.
She watched Jackie and Jeff leave, still in each others arms like lovers. Shauna felt bitter once again and bit her bottom lip to the point of tasting metallic blood. “Shit,” She cursed.
She moved back into the locker room trying to wash off the blood from her lip, only for it to flood out like a bloody waterfall. She was too focused on her task to see Lottie in the back, leaning on the door with arms crossed and a look of indifference at Shauna’s attempts. “Might wanna go to the nurse, Shipman.”
“Don’t call me that.” Shauna groaned, annoyed at all the blood rushing down. She tore off multiple paper towels from the dispensers and place it on her lip.
“Right, only Jackie can call you that.” Lottie chuckled.
Shauna looked over her shoulder at Lottie who had already changed into a casual rich outfit. “What do you want,” She asked.
Lottie smirked, and sluggishly pushed herself off the door with her foot, “You like Jackie.”
“And?”
“I can help you, if you help me.” Lottie curled a lock of her hair around her index finger. If one things for sure about Lottie, it’s that you never should bargain with her. It was tit for tat, an eye for an eye, a “contract” of sorts. If anyone could do and have it all, it was Lottie rich-ass Matthews.
Lottie pulled out a strange purple elixir in a bottle from her Balenciaga bag, a rich taste coming from her who loved to steal shitty clothes from TJ Maxx. “Know what this is?” She smiled, shaking the bottle a tad.
“Laxatives?” Shauna shrugged.
Lottie rolled her eyes in response, “No, it’s a love potion. Don’t ask where, I know a friend. But, this, will help you and Jackie finally resolve your odd relationship issues. Make up, and maybe make out who knows really.” She shrugged.
Shauna narrowed her eyes, suspicious and intrigued, “And what’s in it for you?”
Lottie smiled a little deviously, something Shauna always hated to see, “Help me with Laura Lee.”
“Laura Lee? The religious-loving Laura Lee who prays to God and Jesus in practice every scrimmage, that Laura Lee?”
“Yes, that Laura Lee,” Lottie sighed. “I’ll be honest, this potion is still a prototype. Its effects are varying, nothing bad, just unpredictable.”
“And you want me to try that shit on Jackie?”
Lottie shrugged, “I thought it could help both of us, but now that you mention it, it is kinda shitty.”
“Shocker.” Shauna rolled her eyes. “Jackie’s not a lab rat, Lottie. She’s my best friend.” She huffed. Then she placed her duffel bag on her shoulder and headed towards the door, but she hesitated before she left. “If, if it does work how long will it last?”
Lottie raised a brow, surprised at Shauna’s question.
Shauna groaned and turned around to face Lottie who looked entertained. “Look, it’s hard to be best friends with Jackie when I’m constantly upset and infatuated by her. It’s torture, Lot. What the fuck am I supposed to do with my feelings?”
Lottie sighed and placed her hand on Shauna’s shoulder, “Shauna, just tell her.”
Shauna narrowed her eyes and shook off the hand on her shoulder, “Oh my god, Lot. Fuck you, can’t believe you of all people just told me that.”
“Yeah but I’m right aren’t I?” Lottie shrugged.
“If it’s that easy why don’t you try it with Laura Lee?”
“Touché.”
Lottie and Shauna both chuckled at their useless selves. They each had their own special talents and gifts, but when it came to love they were clueless. It gave them each an odd relief knowing someone else was feeling the same pain they felt.
Lottie swished the contents inside the bottle, making sure the ingredients mixed correctly together. “I’ll hand it to you. Whatever you want to do with it go ahead, but be careful in however you do it. I’ll confess to Laura Lee my own way, and thanks for making me see how dumb and dangerous this was.”
“No problem, I’ll try to find a way to get rid of this,” Shauna smiled.
Lottie nodded and left Shauna alone in the locker room. It was tempting to use the potion, but Shauna knew better than to endanger her best friend of so many years. She placed the bottle in her bag and left for home.
…
Jackie felt shitty. Real shitty.
She just had another attempt to have sex with Jeff but it ended with her unsatisfied and uncomfortable after, like always. At first she thought it was her being nervous, but after the 20th attempt she realized she heavily disliked it.
Jackie sighed with her hair all frizzled and unkempt, unlike her who was always polished and neat. She hated to look imperfect, because everyone always kept watch on her. It suffocated her numerous times.
The worse was not the attention, but the unwanted conflict that came with it. Another thing she hated. She had plenty of her share at home, and she didn’t care for it out in public. Everything had to be peaceful and perfect.
She reorganized herself and cleaned up her crumpled bedsheets. It was almost time for the party, and she needed an excuse to leave the house. And so she played the perfect daughter, wide eyed and sweet for both her parents to say yes at their princess.
“I’ll be gone until midnight. It’s fine, right?” She said sweetly.
Both her parents nodded, unbothered and accepting. It was true the Taylor’s were a wholesome family, but underneath hid insecurity and darkness. Each family member played a role, the father being the breadwinner, the mother taking care of the house and family, and Jackie playing the perfect doll.
“Come home on the dot, Jackie,” her father said, watching the news.
“Yes, dad.” Jackie nodded.
She left out the door, and her parents were indifferent, still positioned in their usual seating, mother on the sofa, and father on the recliner, both far apart.
Shauna had already called Jackie earlier to say she was parked out the door waiting for her. She wrote in her journals while she waited. Earlier, she saw Jeff climb out the window of Jackie’s room, and her heart sank further as her pen inked the sheets.
“What the fuck,” she sighed.
She looked over her right and saw Jackie leaving the house looking perfect as always. Her black top looked fashionable and comfortable, and her beige denim skirt looked amazing, full of purpose and beautiful. Shauna swallowed her pride and smiled. She opened the door for Jackie, “Took you long.”
“Yeah, had something come up.” Jackie chuckled.
Shauna stopped herself from asking the obvious and started to drive wherever Jackie wanted her to. She hated wasting gas, but if Jackie asked her pick her up and drive her all the way down to Chicago she would. Thankfully, Jackie only wanted to drive to the soccer fields.
“So, what made you want to come here and not at the party?” Shauna asked.
“Nothing special really, I just feel better when I’m here.” Jackie mumbled.
“You feel like you’re someone else?” Shauna added.
“Yeah.”
Shauna sat down on the fields and stared up at the night sky. Jackie followed and sat next to her. The winds chilled the both of them a bit, but it cleared their minds enough to deal with reality. And the stars above them twinkled bright upon their gloomy eyes. They both sat in comfortable silence not needing words to fill the air. But the both of them knew that forever didn’t last.
“I saw Jeff earlier. I thought no distractions until nationals.” Shauna mumbled.
Jackie said nothing and organized her thoughts in her head. She wanted to say something so unlike her, but she couldn’t find the right words to express. All of the feelings she felt and the issues she tried to hide were all too much for her to bear. If she said the wrong things would Shauna leave her too?
“Shauna, is something wrong with me?”
“Huh?”
“I’ve been trying so hard to have sex with Jeff but I just can’t. Everything feels so off and wrong. I want it to be perfect and when I think it is, it’s not.” Jackie looked over at Shauna, “So, is something wrong with me?”
Shauna had no words and was left speechless. She couldn’t believe Jackie Taylor would say something was wrong with her, and with no help from alcohol. She’s seen Jackie ugly cry in her arms whenever she drank too much many time before, but eventually Jackie would try to erase or say it never happened. This was the first Jackie was sober to admit her flaws.
“God, you’re not saying anything. I guess you agree with me, right?” Jackie asked. She ran her fingers through her hair but rested on the top of her head, her mind raced with a million thoughts and she panicked. Jackie planned to leave and walk herself back home but Shauna was quick to grab her wrist.
“Wait, I haven’t said anything yet.” Shauna lifted herself from the ground, still gripped tight onto Jackie. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Don’t ask, I just know.”
Jackie looked down at her wrist that was gripped by Shauna, she didn’t like to be touched roughly but since it was Shauna all she could do was chuckle. “Okay, I’ll take your word for it, Shipman.”
They both laughed a bit before they hugged each other. Their hearts seemed to sync and link together enough for it to synchronize and beat as one. It scared Shauna but in her selfish heart she wished for this moment to last. However, she knew those wishes would ruin the friendship between them, so she evaded her feelings once more.
“So, do you still wanna go to the party? We can just get some beer and ditch.” Shauna shrugged.
“Why the fuck not, let’s go.” Jackie smiled.
The two walked back to Shauna’s car hand in hand with wide smiles on their faces. It was near 10 pm and they both had curfew before midnight. Jackie wasn’t exactly thrilled to be restricted but she didn’t mind spending time with someone she cherished. She looked over in the backseat at Shauna’s duffle bag, the one she forgot to put away after practice.
“You still have the school duffle bag in you backseat? Usually you never forget.”
Jackie started to rummage through the bag for contents within it because Shauna had a flavored chapstick that Jackie lent to her a while back.
“Hey, why are you going through my stuff?” Shauna asked confused.
“Chill, Shipman. I’m just looking for that chapstick I gave you. My lips are chapped from all that cold wind.” Jackie sighed. Her hand bumped into the bottle that Shauna hid underneath her uniform. She took out the bottle and lifted it up to see it clearer. “Shauna, is this liquor you stole from your dad’s closet or something? Why is it purple?” Jackie chuckled.
“It’s nothing, just something I have to get rid of,” Shauna said grabbing at the bottle. But Jackie was quick to pull back.
“You’re hiding something, what is it?”
Shauna stayed silent, but that only made Jackie persist more with her questions.
“I want to know Shauna, what is this thing?”
“It’s a love potion.” Shauna blurted out. She could feel Jackie’s eyes stare into her with confusion. It was obvious that Jackie didn’t believe it.
“A love potion? Don’t joke with me Shauna,” Jackie frowned. “Why would you have a love potion?”
“It’s true, Lottie gave me the potion to try it. She said she got it from an acquaintance.”
Jackie rolled her eyes, “Of course Lottie. Why the hell is she buying weird shit again?” She swished the bottle, mixing the contents inside. The purple elixir seemed to illuminate in the dark and Jackie was intrigued. “Do you think it works?”
“What? No, Jackie don’t even think about it,” Shauna pleaded. But to her surprise Jackie opened the bottle and chugged it. “What the fuck, Jackie!?” She patted Jackie’s back to make her spit out the liquid but it was too late for her to do anything. Jackie had already downed all of its contents and the only way to get it out was to make her vomit, but she didn’t want Jackie to puke in her car.
Jackie coughed and looked at the bottle in her hand. Shauna was confused and worried that it was a side effect of the potion.
“Jackie, are you okay?”
Jackie wiped the side of her mouth, “Yeah, but I don’t think this potion worked.” She scoffed. She sort of hoped the potion worked so her libido would stimulate and she could finally experience joy when she had sex with Jeff, but sadly she felt nothing. “Shauna, are you sure this is a love potion cause I don’t feel any different,” She chuckled.
“Lottie told me it was a prototype,” Shauna shrugged.
“Shit, I thought it would help me with Jeff. Who was it for anyways?” Jackie tilted her head. Shauna’s heart ached, because in Jackie’s mind she was always second even though she was her best friend. It was always Jeff and Rutgers with Jackie.
“Nobody. Let’s go, I need a beer,” Shauna sighed, put the bottle in the back, and started the car. Her hands gripped tight on the steering wheel, releasing her grip sometimes to ease her anger.
Jackie eyed her with suspicion, but didn’t dare to probe for more questions. All she felt was an odd strange sensation in her heart. But it wasn’t anything serious, she just thought about how hot Shauna looked when she was mad.
The ride tortured Jackie slightly because Shauna wouldn’t talk to her at all, not one word. She really shouldn’t have drank the potion impulsively, not only did it make Shauna mad but it started to make her feel odd and strange. She started to think heavily about Shauna, her best friend.
Her mind raced with thoughts and memories of the close bond the two shared, all of which led to outlandish wishes that Jackie needed to suppress otherwise she’ll end up doing something she regrets.
“Shauna, pull over,” Jackie pleaded.
Shauna looked over her shoulder, but still complied with Jackie’s request and parked in a vacant spot in a park. She started to get worried again. Jackie looked extremely uncomfortable in her seat, and she fidgeted with her heart necklace more than usual. A sign that Jackie was anxious.
“What’s wrong?” Shauna asked. But before she could move closer to Jackie, the passenger door opened abruptly and Jackie moved herself outside. “Jackie!”, was all Shauna could say as she followed the anxious girl into the park.
Jackie felt sick, truly sick. She hadn’t realized that the potion affected her strongly and she concluded that the images of Shauna in her head were all due to the potion’s effects, not of her own wishes, though her heart said otherwise. “Shauna, stop.” She muttered.
Shauna stopped and stood a few inches from Jackie who had her arms crossed around her chest. Jackie looked uncomfortable and she wanted to help. “Did I do something wrong?” She asked. Her brown eyes wandered about on Jackie’s hazel eyes, and she knew the potion must’ve done something to Jackie. “Come back to the car, I’ll drive you home. And, we can take you to the hospital tomorrow morning.”
Shauna’s concern only fueled the passion in Jackie’s racing heart. Jackie, in all her stubborn glory, said nothing. She remained quiet on the spot that cornered her between Shauna and the rock climbing wall of the plastic tower.
Shauna quietly pressed her palm onto the wall and successfully trapped the quiet Jackie in-between. Her heart raced at the sudden confidence but she could no longer keep herself calm. Did the potion actually work?
“Are you okay?” Shauna whispered.
Jackie looked over at Shauna’s eyes that glistened like starlight, a strange feeling washed over her entire body. She swallowed the air stuck in her throat and tried to respond, but could only muster broken noises and incoherent sentences.
Shauna chuckled and laughed at the look of embarrassment on Jackie’s face, and the sudden tension between the two softened. Slowly, Shauna moved over to give Jackie some space. She understood that Jackie was under the potion’s influence and only teased her for disobediently drinking the potion. “This is what you get,” She chuckled.
Jackie held her breath at the image of Shauna’s smile. Even if she was under the influence of the potion her mind blanked and her heart wanted just one thing. She gripped Shauna’s flannel shirt and pulled her closer, and eventually the two kissed.
The action surprised Shauna too much to respond, but Jackie kept her locked in place to prevent her from leaving. Although, Shauna would never think of leaving this moment even if Jeff intervened. She responded in a soft manner, locked her arms around Jackie, and took lead.
Jackie was experienced in kissing, but she would usually be the one to lead Jeff in how to kiss. That’s how it went. Yet, she allowed Shauna to do what she wanted and she followed, in her mind she actually liked Shauna taking the lead. She never would have imagined that she would kiss her best friend in a playground park and trapped between a wall and Shauna all while underneath the moonlight. It felt romantic in her head, and she wondered if Shauna felt that way too.
Eventually, the two separated from each other’s lips, their breaths were heavy and hot as it panned the others face. Their hearts raced in sync and Jackie felt that this was more intimate than the attempts of sexual activity with Jeff. It confused her, but also gave her relief. There was nothing wrong with her, she just didn’t like Jeff. But she started to question about her sexuality.
Shauna drove Jackie out of her mind when she suddenly kissed her forehead and gripped tightly onto her. The affection made Jackie’s heart race a bit faster, again.
“Sorry, Shipman. I think the potion may have worked after all,” Jackie chuckled.
Shauna laughed and slowly released Jackie from her grip, “So, still wanna go to the party?” She asked.
Jackie rolled her eyes at the question, “Are you joking? We just kissed and all you’re thinking about is beer? Give me back my time, Shipman.”
Shauna smiled and grabbed hold of Jackie’s hand and kissed her knuckles,
“I’ve always thought about you, and only you.”
…
Lottie watched as the two best friends walked hand in hand into the girls locker room. She noticed the strange behavior of Jackie—who always had an upright queen like attitude in her nature, blush bright red at the confident Shauna, who was always so reserved and calm. She figured something must’ve happened.
She waited patiently for Shauna to come closer to her locker before she asked questions. “Alright, Shauna. What the hell happened between you two, spill!”
Shauna showed a smug smile, which annoyed Lottie. “I gotta thank you, Lot. You made my life better.”
“Huh? Don’t tell me, did you use the potion? I thought you were against it.”
“I was. Jackie drank the potion I forgot to dispose, all because of your call about you and Laura Lee. By the way, congrats. I’m happy for you.” Shauna chuckled. “Things happened and we both confessed our feelings. In the end, you helped me out as an odd sort of Cupid, so thank you.”
Lottie smiled and hugged Shauna. The two were overly friendly and their partners were a tad bit jealous at the close proximity between them.
Jackie looked over at Laura Lee who happened to have the same thoughts as her. She could guess that Lottie had officially confessed and was now dating Laura Lee, “About time,” she whispered.
Laura Lee overheard her whisper and tilted her head in confusion. Yet, she couldn’t help but smile when Jackie patted her shoulder and congratulated her on her relationship.
“Congratulations, and good luck with Lottie. She’s kinda crazy but she makes up for it with her sweetness.” Jackie laughed.
Laura Lee smiled in return, “Hopefully you and Shauna can finally be honest with each other. It was exhausting having to map out where your relationship was gonna go. Now Van owes me $10 bucks.”
Van and Tai stood looking over the group, both happy for the relationships being established. Yet Van wasn’t entirely happy that she lost the bet to Laura Lee of all people. “Damnit,” was all she could mutter as she handed Laura Lee her money.