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Eddie felt himself begin to sweat just from the thought of the potential conversation he will have with Buck. The stick in his hands showing two lines on it mocks him. This is one of the best days of his life, but also one of the most anxiety inducing. Lost in his thoughts, he startles at the sudden knock on his bathroom door.
“Hey Eddie, you good? You've been in there a while,” Buck asks from the other side of the door.
“Yeah,” Eddie feels his eyes begin to fill up with tears, “I’m–” His voice wavers, he clears his throat, “I’m okay.”
“Okay, I’ll be in your living room waiting for you.”
“I’ll be out in a bit,” Eddie calls out. He waits until he hears Buck’s footstep completely recede before he lets out the quietest sob he could muster.
He puts the toilet seat down and sits with a hand covering his mouth to muffle his cries, the pregnancy stick becoming a blur in his vision because of his tears. He wonders if this is how Shannon felt when she had found out she was pregnant. If she was having doubts about whether Eddie would remain in her life or not. Or if he’d even stick around to help.
He didn’t even know he was a carrier until now. Never thought of testing himself because he didn’t think he would ever sleep with a man, let alone let one shove his dick up his ass. But here he is with the confirmation that he’s a carrier, in his hands.
But Eddie has no doubts about Buck. Buck has always wanted kids, he loves kids. It’s one of the first things he ever told Eddie. He is really good with Christopher and Jee-Yun and he knows he’ll be really good with this one as well, but there’s still a dark cloud of anxiety hanging over his head.
For starters, he and Buck aren’t officially together. Somewhere along the way, they agreed on a friends with benefits ordeal after too many drinks and a heated argument about how Buck didn’t like seeing Eddie with other guys. They both agreed to keep it casual and to keep it between them, away from the rest of the 118.
Now there will be no way of hiding it or keeping it secret considering that in just a few months, Eddie will be sporting an obvious baby bump.
He takes a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He knows Buck will love the baby and take care of it and always be there for it. What’s throwing him through this loop is that he doesn’t know how Buck will react to him being pregnant.
Eddie was well aware of his feelings for Buck. The first day he joined the firehouse, Buck had been cold to him. Always trying to one-up him, make him look bad, and just feeling overall threatened by him. But Eddie had found him endearing. He found Buck hot as hell the first time he saw him. He liked the way he was committed to his work and would risk anything, including his job—which is to save people—to save people. Even when Buck was being an asshole, Eddie’s heart would pick up in speed whenever he caught the man looking his way.
Of course he never told Buck this when they agreed to casually fuck for release of pent up stress, but that was mostly because Buck never really showed interest in being more. Although it was Buck’s idea to have sex on the down low, he didn’t ever entertain the idea of being future partners—boyfriends.
Eddie just didn’t want to ruin anything. He didn’t want Buck to feel trapped, to feel like he has to be with Eddie now that they’re expecting a baby together. He wipes his eyes clear of the tears he let out and takes in a few more deep breaths before willing himself to open the door and walk into his living room where Buck was waiting for him to finish watching their movie.
He takes slow steps towards Buck, the pregnancy test hidden behind his back. He sniffs and clears his throat to get Buck’s attention which works. Buck turns around and the smile on his face fades as soon as he takes in Eddie’s expression and state of being.
“Eddie, what’s wrong?” He stands and walks to him. Eddie doesn’t answer, the words caught in his throat. He’s avoiding the worried blue eyes that are burning their gaze onto his face, trying to get him to look up. Buck cups his cheeks and makes him look into his eyes, “Hey… what’s wrong, baby?”
Eddie inhales shakily before showing Buck the stick that could either bring him dread or bring him joy.
Buck looks down at the stick. His face goes blank, his mouth slightly ajar. He removes his hands from Eddie’s face and grabs the stick. Eddie feels his heart tightening. No reaction is reaction enough. Buck isn’t happy, he doesn’t want to be having a baby with him. Eddie starts tearing up again at the rejection he feels.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t–” Eddie doesn’t know what to say that could make this any better, “You can go if you want.”
Buck finally looks up from the pregnancy stick, his eyes darting between Eddie’s glassy ones. After what felt like an eternity for Eddie, Buck breaks out into a smile, probably the biggest one Eddie has ever seen from him, “Is this real? Like you’re not pranking me, right?”
Eddie furrows his eyebrows, “What? No! Why would I prank you with this? I’m trying not to lose my mind over here,” He wetly laughs, “What are your thoughts?”
Buck pulls Eddie into a searing kiss, the salty taste of his tears be damned, and Eddie feels a bit caught off guard before kissing Buck back with the same burning desire. He takes this as a good sign. Tension leaves his body and anxiety stores itself back inside him. Buck pulls apart from him and rests their foreheads together.
“I’m so happy. So so happy, Eddie,” Buck laughs lightly, “I didn’t know you were a carrier?”
“Me either, I’m sorry,” he pouts.
“Hey, no. Don’t apologize,” Buck pecks his lips, “It’s okay, now we know.”
“So you’re not mad? You don’t hate me for accidentally getting knocked up?” Eddie questions.
Buck shifts back to look at him, “Well, it takes two to tango, so I have just as much to blame for getting you knocked up,” He chuckles, “But no, I could never hate you. Especially not now that you’re carrying a little us.”
Us. Us. Holy fuck he’s carrying their baby.
“I was so nervous. I was scared that you would hate me or want nothing to do with me after I told you. I know we’re not together or anything, but I’m ready to have this baby, to have it grow in me,” Eddie states.
“I’m sorry you felt that way. I promise, Eddie, I never meant for you to feel like I could hate you for something like this. I should've suspected this being a possibility with the arrangement we had going on and I’m fully on board, one hundred percent. I want to have this baby with you,” Buck begins to tear up.
“I don’t want you to think that you have to be with me solely because I’m pregnant,” Eddie gasps, “Whoa… I’m pregnant. That’s my first time saying it out loud.”
Buck smiles, “I love you.”
Eddie feels all the oxygen leave his body, “What?”
“I love you, Eddie. I have for a while now, I just didn’t know how to tell you or if you felt the same. All I knew was that every time you were around, I felt my world stop and at first it scared me, but I came to the realization that I was just falling for you. And seeing you with another guy made me feel insecure and that’s why I lashed out on you. It’s also why I suggested to be friends with benefits. Because I thought that if I can’t have all of you, then just having some of you was enough for me. But it wasn’t. I want you, all of you. If you’ll let me?” He asks.
Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He’s been wanting this the whole time he’s known Buck and now that it’s finally here, he doesn’t know what to say. Except, “You’re not just saying that because I’m knocked up, are you?”
“Of course not, baby. I’m all in,” Buck keeps eye contact with Eddie. Blue eyes tracking brown, “All in.”
Eddie holds their eye contact for a bit before he can no longer suppress the smile breaking out onto his face, “Okay.”
“Okay?” Buck asks hopefully.
“Okay,” Eddie confirms. Buck cheers and wraps his arms around Eddie’s waists. He lifts him off the ground a bit and spins him around in celebration.
“You’re having my baby!” Buck chants. He sets Eddie down and looks at his own crotch, “Good job, buddy.”
Eddie rolls his eyes, he can’t believe he’s in love with this dorky guy let alone having his baby, but he also wouldn’t have it any other way.
Buck squats down until he’s eye level with Eddie’s stomach, “Hello in there, I’m your dad,” he chuckles, “I can't wait to meet you. I’m so happy and excited for your arrival.”
Eddie wants to drop to his knees and burst out into tears. He loves this man so much he feels crazy with it. And the fact that this man loves him back just as much is even crazier to him. He can’t wait to raise a baby together.
“Are we gonna tell the firehouse? You know, Bobby, Hen, Chim, Mads, Athena?” Buck asks.
Eddie contemplates it over, “Maybe once I can’t hide it anymore? I don’t know, I just don’t want it to be a big deal even though it is a big deal. I guess I just don’t want that attention before the baby comes.”
Buck nods, “Okay. No telling the others.”
“At least not yet,” Eddie says again, to make it clear, “Well, you can tell Maddie. She’s your sister.”
Buck looks up and breaks out into another big smile, “Okay, thanks.”
They stay quiet for a second, Eddie with one hand on the back of his hip and the other stroking Buck’s hair and Buck still squatting down talking to his belly.
“So,” Buck rises to his full height again, wrapping both arms around Eddie’s waist to pull him closer, letting his hands rest on the top of Eddie’s ass, “How are we going to tell Chris he’s gonna have a little sibling?”
“You don’t have to,” Buck and Eddie turn towards Chris who is walking out from the kitchen, “I heard everything.”
He walks towards them and hugs both of them, “We didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”
“It’s okay, I’m excited to have a little brother or sister. I told you I always wanted one, dad,” Chris informs.
“Well, it’s your lucky day, bud, ‘cause in nine months, you’ll have a little brother or sister in no time,” Buck chuckles.
“Yay!” The three boys group hug again, all ecstatic for the future family member they’ll be adding. They talk a little more about the upcoming events that come with having a baby and they’re living situation before finally finishing the movie they started and calling it a night.
Buck spends the night there and sleeps with Eddie in his bed. Curled up in his arms, Buck continues to voice out his excitement and love for Eddie and their baby. He also mentions how he loves Chris as if he was his own too. And before falling asleep, he voices out his concern for Eddie and his work life.
“You need to be more careful. Don’t lift heavy things, I can do that for you. Also always wear an oxygen mask when we’re dealing with a fire– actually don’t go into fires– matter of fact, don’t go to work at all, it’s too dangerous. I don’t want anything to happen to you two. Maybe ask for days off–”
“Okay, cowboy, slow your roll. I’m not supposed to be obvious about my pregnancy, we agreed on that. Also I want to keep working until I can’t anymore. I’ll be careful, of course, but I’m not asking for days off... yet,” Eddie tries to compromise, but Buck is too stubborn.
“Well, maybe if you told Bobby you are pregnant, he would give you time off and pay you during it.”
“Mm, I don’t want that. But thank you for your concern. I will be continuing work and maybe I’ll cut back on the impulsive hero moments, but that’s no guarantee. I was born a natural people saver.”
“I know, baby,” Buck turns around in Eddie’s arms to face him, “And that’s one thing I love about you.”
Eddie feels himself blush, “I love hearing you say that.”
“I love saying it. I love you,” Buck pecks his nose, making him scrunch it.
“I love you, too,” Eddie replies easily. Buck then dives under the blanket and manages to kiss Eddie’s tummy.
“And I love you,” Buck coos.
Eddie giggles and leads Buck back out of the sheets, “You are already insufferable. Is it too late to un-tell you that I’m pregnant with your baby?”
“Ohh say that again,” Buck requests seductively.
Eddie scoffs, “I’m pregnant with a narcissist’s baby.”
Buck groans, “If we were to have sec right now, do you think the baby will feel it?”
“Buck,” Eddie smiles and stops himself from giggling, “The baby isn’t even a baby yet, I think we’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” Buck chirps, climbing on top of Eddie, “Good.”
The rest of their night is filled with several rounds of “careful” sex, as Buck likes to call it, and breaks in the middle with multiple pillow talks about their future as a couple and the future of their growing family and they couldn’t be happier.