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Buck is left broken from the breakup, spends weeks doing nothing for himself and dreading his own loneliness. His family at the 118 are concerned at his lack of joy and energy, but not one thing they do snaps Buck out of it.
A couple months pass and Buck decides to finally get back out there, maybe take Tommy’s advice. He has been openly queer for longer, maybe there is something to that advice. Maybe he will be able to connect with them like he used to. Back to Buck 1.0, he thinks. So he matches with a few people, and makes plans to meet up with a really hot guy.
The date goes really well. The guy is interesting. No cleft, but that’s not what he’s looking for. He needs different. Something that isn’t going to remind him of the pilot-shaped hole in his heart. He decides to go back to the guy’s place and see how compatible they are in bed. But as soon as things get hot and heavy with him, Buck realizes he doesn’t want this. He wants something deeper, something that this guy doesn’t have. He doesn’t want this. So he leaves without sleeping with him. Buck 1.0 reversion is a total failure.
His next match is with a girl. She’s gorgeous, dark hair, green eyes. She’s a total catch. Best thing, she’s not a guy. Guys remind him of someone he doesn’t want to think about. The date comes a couple nights later and Buck feels anxious about it. She is super interested in him, but the closer the date gets, the less interested Buck grows. He doesn’t cancel the date and tries to get to know her anyways, tries to feign interest as she talks. He can’t stop thinking about how this parallels Abby’s relationship with That Man, how he’s treating this girl the same way That Man treated Abby. At the end of the night, Buck decides against another date and returns home alone. He cannot bear to put either of them through a relationship that he does not want.
But what does Buck want?
What does he need?
The attraction was there with the man he met a couple nights ago. And it was there tonight when he was with the woman. He isn’t repelled from them. They’re just missing something.
Something like a cleft.
A flight suit.
Henleys.
That amazing cologne that Tommy put on before they go out on a date night.
Tommy.
He wants Tommy.
He needs Tommy.
His phone buzzes. Eddie texting him to come to the hospital. Apologizing for ruining his date. Buck scoffs, thinking there’s not much to ruin at this point.
He rushes to the hospital, expecting something with Bobby, Hen, or Chim. But finds Tommy.
“Why is Buck here, Eddie?”
“Buck has every right to know. Didn’t think you were going to cut him off completely.”
“We broke u-”
Buck isn’t going to let him finish this sentence.
“You broke up with me. This wasn’t mutual. How did this happen anyways?”
“That’s-”
“He fell out of the helicopter while servicing it. Banged his head pretty hard, bruised his neck. Nothing broken, don’t worry.”
Buck is seething. Tommy is not that careless.
“I’m okay, so you can leave, Buck. Eddie can take me home.”
“Enough with calling me Buck. Only my friends call me Buck. And you are not my friend. You never were just my friend. You were so much more. That’s why I wanted you to call me Evan that whole time. That’s why I hate it when you call me Buck!”
Tommy opens his mouth to speak and like hell Buck is letting that happen.
“And one more thing. I love you, Tommy. I didn’t want to say it like this, when I’m begging you to give us another shot. I wanted to say it when we were at home together, watching a movie, or lying in bed together after an amazing night. But it’s how I feel - I love you, and I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else. I just need you to love me back.”
Tommy looks at Buck, stunned into silence, the fight and belligerence from earlier dissipating rapidly as Buck speaks.
“What brought this on?”
Buck takes Tommy’s hand in his own.
“I came here from a date with a girl. I wanted to like her, but she wasn’t you. Neither was the guy I saw the other night. Couldn’t get out of his place fast enough.”
“You ended a date for me?”
“Well the date was over. I couldn’t even pay much attention. And the guy from the other night? Didn’t even make it to the bedroom. I couldn’t get you out of my head.”
“Why, Evan? I broke your heart…”
“Because, you idiot, I love you. And I thought I was the idiot.”
“Maybe I am an idiot…”
Neither noticed the moment when Eddie left the room, but both men look around for him, only noticing that they are alone, the monotonous beeping of the heart rate monitor adding to the silence in the room while neither man talks.
“Is that an apology or regret I hear?”
“I don’t know. Both? Do I even have a right to ask for forgiveness?”
“Why don’t you try and see? Make an effort like I did for you after you left me not once, but twice?”
Tommy stares intensely at Buck, trying to read if that challenge was playful or-
Is Buck the kind of person to goad him into asking for forgiveness only to deny it?
He has to try. Things haven’t been the same without Buck.
“I won’t leave you again…if you take me back, that is…”
Buck surges forward and kisses Tommy aggressively, stopping only when Tommy winces as his head throbs in pain.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry, Tommy. Is your head okay? Neck?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, just sore. In fact, probably better than I’ve been in the last couple months.”
Eddie wanders back in, finding Buck and Tommy almost cuddling in the hospital bed.
“Fucking finally. You two have made me miserable for two fucking months.”
He snaps a picture and sends it to a group chat. Buck’s phone buzzes, irritating him briefly.
Then Tommy’s phone buzzes.
Buck opens the text and it’s an empty chat history.
A new group text.
One with Tommy in it.
Only texts there being a pic of him and Tommy cuddling, captioned “Fucking finally. You all owe me $20!”
And Buck knows everything is right with the world.