Chapter Text
There’s a hot ache that pulses through Kris’s shoulder as they’re pushed up against the lockers. Not giving their bully the satisfaction of seeing a reaction is a harder feat than one might think, and Kris grits their teeth as they’re picked up off the floor from their lone right shoulder. The sun glowed through the glass windows, painting a stark shadow on Susie’s face that would usually make the situation scarier. But Kris knew her, and the last thing they were was afraid of her. They could recognize this tinge of sadness, hidden behind anger and frustration, encased in amber.
This seemed to be Susie’s preferred method of tormenting them, they suddenly recounted. Countless memories from just the past few months of being pushed into the lockers as they were walking to class, of having little crumpled paper balls made from the frayed edges of an abandoned journal paper flicked in their hair, of their lunch getting swiped by her, but none as often as the good ol’ shoulder lift. Kris couldn’t really say that they didn’t mind, but…
They figured that Susie reveled in her strength, and it probably made her feel damn good that she could lift a whole human person by the shoulder with just one claw if she wanted to– an impressive feat, they couldn’t deny. The soreness bore through them when she pinned them against their locker with just her finger or thumb, but there was a sort of twisted pleasure that came from it; Kris felt as if this was their penance, their punishment for all they had done.
For not being grateful for their family, even if the attention was always on Azzy. Even if Toriel hid things that only felt worse when Kris would discover them on their own.
For resenting Azzy when he left for college, their best friend gone, abandoning them.
For closing themselves off even more than they were before, even when people like Noelle came by to try to visit or cheer them up, which became more sparse as the time went on. Kris wore her down, the girl with the most patience in Hometown.
For the anger they felt towards Noelle for said patience, for her forgiveness, which they didn’t deserve.
For what happened to Dess.
The last time Susie attempted to bully Kris was the worst of it. Kris was practically dragged up by their hair by her, who was furious they had gotten cocky with her one evening afternoon, and as she pulled them high enough for them to make eye contact with each other, Kris had the feeling that, strangely and suddenly, it scared her too–the ability to inflict real pain on someone else. They remember seeing a flicker of fear and maybe even self hatred before the resolve was put back up. That same look in her eyes came back when they opened their mouth to respond to her properly for the first time since all of the bullying had started. She promptly let go of them and they fell to the floor, their knees hitting the tile as they heard the door slam shut.
After that, things seemed to calm down a bit, at least for a few weeks. Susie always stopped herself from messing with Kris, simply giving them a look of disgust, or anger, or maybe both, frustrated that she felt she could no longer take her emotions out on them, but aside from that, nothing else. Just...nothing. No pushing, no shoving, no taking lunch. She seemed to get the message, from just three simple words that slipped through Kris's mouth.
There was one particular groggy fall morning when Alphys decided to finally put her foot down for once and insisted that Susie participate in one of the class activities. Susie mumbled that she didn’t have a pencil, to which Alphys motioned to the entire class, implying that she could just ask any of her other classmates.
The thing was, though, she really couldn’t. No one really even wanted to be within five feet of her, except this geeky reindeer girl who tested the boundaries every now and then, and an even nerdier blue bird who sometimes grew the balls to say something cocky to her that would end him up stuffed in the trash can outside of the library. Sure, she could hypothetically just threaten or scare her other classmates into giving her a pencil, but there was a sinking feeling within her that stopped her from doing that.
So she had no options, except…
Her stature towered over the tiny human, even when they were both sitting down at their respective desks. It didn’t help that their forehead seemed glued to their desk most of the time, and she didn’t even need to lean over that much to see her own shadow above them as she grabbed a whiff of their apple-scented shampoo during class. She felt frustration bubble within her, along with…embarrassment? Shame, maybe? She cleared her throat loudly, startling them out of their sleep.
She reflectively looked away as she stammered out, “uh- h-hey, can I…”
She stopped when she saw movement in her peripheral, and as she turned, was met with a softly smiling Kris, showing more emotion than she had ever seen them put on before, holding a pencil out to her. She won’t lie, it kind of unnerved her, seeing this stoic person smile so giddily, because seeing this normally expression-less human break out into a happy grin was sort of creepy (it did make her feel something in her stomach, she will admit, she had never made anyone smile like that before). She felt the pit grow deeper in her stomach when she also realized that they were willingly smiling even after everything she had done to them. It almost made her mad.
Why would Kris reach out to her like that, a sincere smile, pencil in hand?
How could someone have no backbone? Why do they always react in ways that don’t make sense? Why were they even so…so weird, and quiet and reserved in the first place? Kris has a good family, a wonderful, loving mother, a model older brother off in college, a roof under their head, a father who is doting and obviously cares. Food on the table, seemingly, given the delicious lunches their mother had packed, of which Susie herself would often end up eating. Kris should be more grateful, they should learn how the real world was-
She snatched the pencil out of their hand before her thoughts took her over completely.
At the end of the period, Susie scanned over her hard work, mostly-incorrect answers littering the wrinkled notebook paper lines. As Alphys dismissed the class, everyone rose from their seats, chattering, passing up their papers to the front, and Susie noticed that all but one started to head to the door. Kris looked back, arm propped up on their chair as they stared at her with a blank expression.
“What.” She muttered, glaring at them in an attempt to intimidate. Why were they even staring at her? They should be heading home to a wonderful pie made by an even more wonderful mother. Heh . Goody two-shoed family.
Kris looked at what seemed to be her teeth, and the now splintered piece of wood jammed in between them. She flushed slightly. She always had a bad habit of chewing on things when she was thinking.
“Uh…” She didn’t know what to do. Give it back? That…that’s kind of gross, isn’t it? Who wants a chewed up broken pencil?
She felt Kris’s eyes bore into her soul. She wiped down the pencil with her sleeve and tossed it towards them as she got up from her desk.
God, what a freak.
Since that day, it sort of developed into a small weird routine the both of them shared. Kris would turn around at the beginning of class, handing Susie a new, pristine, un-chewed pencil, sometimes patterned with iconic imagery of whatever season-appropriate holiday was currently being celebrated. The first time, she thinks she can remember it being littered with pumpkins and ghosts. She would reluctantly take it and, no matter how hard she tried to be conscious of it, would always end up giving back a practically half-eaten pencil.
Kris would always end up throwing them away, initially kind of disgusted the first time it happened, but they liked the monotony of their routine. It was their thing. Kris and Susie. It slowly became something Kris looked forward to every day, their heart beating out of their chest from any sort of interaction with the general public, exacerbated by being able to finally get somewhere with their bully, who they had a nagging feeling was a lot more similar to them than she led on.
Even if Susie didn’t care about this small ritual, Kris didn’t mind. It was a peace treaty, a signifier to the potential end of bullying, but most importantly, a sign of potential friendship.