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When Jaehyun decides to enlist early, Johnny is the first to know.
They’re mid-way through date night (Wednesday nights); Johnny pan-seared two ribeyes, Jaehyun prepared basil shrimp linguine in a homemade pesto sauce. Between them a small candle lights a glow, the rest of Johnny’s apartment dimmed sans the moonlight streaming through the tall windows.
“What?” Johnny says, fork hitting the plate with a loud clang. “You’re what?”
“Enlisting,” Jaehyun whispers back. He wipes his lips on a napkin, then sets it aside, “I know it’s earlier than expected.”
Johnny can’t seem to find the words - the right ones, or any - so Jaehyun reaches across Johnny’s tiny dining table and laces their fingers together. The decision has already been made, there’s no going back on his word now.
“Why?” is all Johnny manages to say.
“They’re making some changes to the division I want to serve in,” Jaehyun explains, somewhat tiredly, as if he’d spent the bulk of the day explaining this to their managers and everyone else. He squeezes Johnny’s hand, “It’s a choice I wanted to make.”
“Oh.”
Outside, they hear the muffled sound of Seoul’s city streets.
Johnny looks down at their hands, “What does that mean… for us?” Jaehyun stares at him, not quite understanding the question. Johnny grabs hold of Jaehyun with both hands, “How do you want to do this?”
Jaehyun thinks on this for a moment. He rests his elbows onto the table, inching his unfinished dinner a little away from himself. His gaze is trained on where they’re hands are connected; Johnny’s are steady and warm, grounding and larger than Jaehyun’s. There’s a strength and gentleness to them, a quiet confidence in the way they envelope Jaehyun’s hand entirely - making Jaehyun feel safe.
Jaehyun’s however are slightly more slender, even graceful, if Johnny were describing them, often reflecting his emotions when he doesn’t realize it. When they reach for Johnny, there’s a delicateness yet are somehow firm, as though each of his touch holds a thousand unsaid words.
“I want it to be like it’s always been,” Jaehyun says finally. He looks back up at Johnny, surprised to see Johnny already watching him. There’s something like fear in his eyes and it has Jaehyun’s insides twisting, “You and me.”
Johnny licks his lips, “You and me.”
“Like always,” Jaehyun whispers. He offers a small, unsteady smile, hoping it would ease some of Johnny’s worries.
They knew this day would come; it’s inevitable, the honor it takes to serve the country. Johnny didn’t understand it but respected it whenever it was brought up, especially during late nights when Jaehyun’s in his arms, quietly admitting his worries for the future. Johnny does his best to hug Jaehyun a little tighter, to whisper reassuring words into Jaehyun’s crown, to hold the younger boy close until he finally drifts off to sleep.
That’s how they’ve always been - you and me.
Jaehyun clears his throat and it dispels some of the tension in the air, “Besides, I’m sure I’ll be back here before you know it.” Under the table, he hooks his ankles with Johnny’s, “We see Taeyong hyung all the time now too.”
“A little too much if you ask me,” Johnny quips, and it brings a wide smile to Jaehyun’s lips, reassured with how the conversation is heading. “Whatever decision you make, you know I’ll support you, right?”
“Yeah, hyung,” Jaehyun mumbles, a warmth blooming in his chest just off the way Johnny’s watching him - like he’s the only one in the world, the only one that matters. He pushes himself a little off the table to kiss Johnny sweetly, “Thank you.”
Johnny is quick, a hand coming up to keep Jaehyun from straying. His fingertips rest lightly beneath Jaehyun’s jaw, soft and ticklish. It sends a shiver down Jaehyun’s spine. Johnny leans in slowly, their gazes meeting before brushing his lips against Jaehyun’s. Jaehyun’s eyes flutter shut; the kiss is unhurried, a gentle promise lingering in the softness of Johnny’s touch. Johnny’s hand remains steady, fingertips barely pressing, as if he’s savoring every second, careful not to break the delicate closeness between them.
Jaehyun sees double when he pulls away, knees going weak at Johnny’s touch. They’ve spent years together and it’s still undeniable, the way Johnny has him melting into a puddle at a single glance.
“I have a schedule tomorrow,” Jaehyun whispers.
Johnny raises a brow, “I wasn’t thinking of anything.”
“Sure, you weren’t,” Jaehyun rolls his eyes, sitting back down on his seat. He squeezes Johnny’s hands again before letting go, resuming their dinner with the elephant out of the way, “I haven’t told the others.”
“Jungwoo’s going to cry,” Johnny bets, shaking his head.
Jaehyun makes a face, “You didn’t.”
“I might cry in my bed tonight,” Johnny shrugs.
“Our bed,” Jaehyun corrects. He twirls a spoonful of linguine, “And don’t lie, you’re not going to cry.”
“You wouldn’t know,” Johnny sing-songs. He smiles when Jaehyun does, relief at the staticky tension dissipating, “I’m actually going to miss you, y’know? How else are we going to stay up watching late-night reruns if you’re out… running laps in a field or something?”
“I guess you’ll have to fly solo for a bit,” Jaehyun hums. He rolls his eyes again when Johnny gives him a suggestive wink, “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“Sure, you didn’t,” Johnny mimics Jaehyun’s tone, laughing when it has Jaehyun scowling.
--
Johnny waits for Jaehyun in his apartment the night Jaehyun’s to enlist. He’d heard from one of the managers that they just got done with one of Jaehyun’s very last schedules (for now), and Johnny’s apartment is where Jaehyun will sleep for the night for the very last time (for now).
“Hyung?”
Johnny stops mid-pace, neck cracking as he whips around to find Jaehyun standing at the entryway, key in hand. He’s got a black duffel bag on one shoulder, dressed in his usual dark jacket and dark-washed jeans, practically the Jung Jaehyun uniform. His platinum blonde hair is obscured by a baseball cap put on backwards, a pair of thin wire frame glasses sitting on his nose.
“You’re here,” Johnny says dumbly.
“Of course, I said I’d come home,” Jaehyun says, toeing his shoes off. The lights turn on as he enters the apartment, socked feet over marble flooring, “Are you okay? You look…”
“Uh, yeah -” Johnny had promised he wouldn’t be sad (or upset or depressed or anything he’s truly feeling) tonight. He promised Jaehyun it would be a nice last night together (for now). “I was just thinking - I thought maybe you might have gone out with the guys instead.”
When Taeyong left, they threw him a mini going away party; Taeyong cried, Doyoung cried, Jungwoo cried. Jungwoo also cut Taeyong’s hair way too short, which led to several more drinks being drunk. It was a good goodbye party - but Jaehyun had said he didn’t want any of that.
“I want to spend tonight with you.”
Johnny’s heart stutters, a warmth spreading through him that feels as wide and deep as the night. The words echo in his mind, almost too good to be real: I want to spend tonight with you. It’s simple, easy, but hearing it hits him with a wave of quiet joy; the kind that sneaks up on you and lingers in your chest, settling in to stay.
Johnny closes the distance between them in three long strides, taking Jaehyun’s duffel from him and settling it on one of the dining chairs. He turns back around and immediately, Jaehyun’s hands are on his shoulders and his own are finding their way to Jaehyun’s hips.
“What time do you have to be at the salon tomorrow?”
“Nine,” Jaehyun whispers, already enamored by Johnny’s lips. He licks his own, breath fanning over Johnny’s cheeks, “You have me for the whole night.”
“I have you forever,” Johnny retorts, pinching Jaehyun on the waist. He grips Jaehyun a little tighter, dizzy when Jaehyun moans quietly, “Don’t I?”
“You do,” Jaehyun sighs, content. He leans into Johnny then, brushing his lips over Johnny’s ears, just light enough to have Johnny shiver under him, “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
And then they’re kissing, pushing and tugging one another until they’re stumbling into the bedroom, laughter on their lips. Johnny pushes Jaehyun off and on to the bed, laughing again when the younger boy falls over with an unceremonious yelp. Jaehyun bounces off the bed once before grounding himself to the sheets, glaring up at Johnny who’s too busy beaming down at him to even care.
“I’ll miss you,” Johnny admits, climbing into bed after Jaehyun like a hunter. He grins when Jaehyun backs away, eyes anything but innocent. He pushes down until he’s set snugly between Jaehyun’s thighs, “I’ll miss you so much.”
“I’ll miss you too,” Jaehyun mumbles back, reaching up to pull Johnny down, maneuvers until they’re laying flush, Jaehyun’s legs wrapped around Johnny’s hips.
“And I’ll miss your hair,” Johnny says fondly, running a hand through Jaehyun’s perfectly bleached platinum blonde. He’d gotten a heart attack, seeing Jaehyun in such a light color, but now it’s almost like he was made for it, pale features somehow even more striking. He fingers the ends of a fluffy tuft, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you with cropped hair.”
“I might be ugly,” Jaehyun says, which is just the biggest lie he’s ever uttered. He laughs when Johnny gives him a deadpan face, kissing the older boy sweetly, “You never know.”
“No, no, no,” Johnny even wags a finger, “I know.”
Jaehyun huffs, “Just kiss me already.”
Johnny, if anything, is a good listener so he kisses Jaehyun, rolls his hips forward and draws a low moan out of Jaehyun, catalyzing that heavy friction between them. Johnny braces himself above Jaehyun, sighs when Jaehyun leeches onto him, lips working their way around his neck, kissing what he can reach.
When Jaehyun reaches between them to undo Johnny’s belt, Johnny stops him.
“Are you sure?” Johnny says, commending his self-control because Jaehyun looks ready to be devoured, eyes hazy as he watches Johnny. “You have a long day tomorrow.”
“I want it,” Jaehyun murmurs, breaths coming a little faster. He squirms against Johnny, pushes his hips up and gasps when he finds friction, “Johnny.”
“Yeah,” Johnny laughs breathily, sitting back to rid Jaehyun of his clothes, “Yeah, anything for you.”
--
“Do you see him? I can’t see him!”
“Relax,” Taeyong sighs, holding Doyoung by the arm and tugging the younger boy to please sit back down. “You’re acting like he’s going off to kindergarten, Doyoung-ah.”
Doyoung makes a face but abides, sitting back down on the bleachers where they’re watching this round of recruits line up to be sworn in. They’re sitting amongst the cohort’s parents and friends, some of whom are already tearing up at seeing the ceremony begin.
“I see him! I see him!”
Taeyong groans under his breath as Doyoung rises to his feet again, pointing at Jaehyun who’s standing two rows from the front. Johnny laughs at his best friends’ antics, a little embarrassed by Doyoung too, but still - he appreciates Doyoung having found Jaehyun in the crowd.
Jaehyun, who’d left his apartment this morning at eight in the morning, complaining of sore hips and Johnny’s supposed lack of self-control.
“That’s not what you were saying just two hours ago, Jae,” Johnny snorted, leaning against the doorframe as he watched Jaehyun slip on his shoes. “I told you we should’ve taken it easy.”
“Whatever,” Jaehyun muttered. He went on his tiptoes to kiss Johnny goodbye, a sweet kiss that isn’t too brief, “I’ll see you later?”
Johnny smiled, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Now, he sits on the bleachers with a couple of other members who’d taken time out of their schedules to send Jaehyun off. Including Taeyong, who’s smartly dressed in his own navy uniform. They’d agreed not to make a big fuss out of sending Jaehyun off but Doyoung seems to have forgotten that very promise, waving a hand wildly to catch Jaehyun’s attention.
Jaehyun, of course, notices (one of his) favorite hyungs waving madly, and gives them a short nod in response. His gaze locks with Johnny’s, and Johnny smiles widely, in hopes the younger boy can see. He raises a hand and waves too, infected by Doyoung’s exhilaration, a proud ache in his chest.
Even from this distance, Johnny can see the faint flush that colors Jaehyun’s ears.
Johnny gives him another small wave, gaze saying everything he can’t say out loud: I’m so proud of you, I love you.
Jaehyun’s expression flickers, and Johnny knows that’s all he needs - for Jaehyun to see him, to feel his support in every way that matters.
And in that moment, he knows they’ll be okay.