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If it were anybody else, Eddie might feel suffocated by the silence in the room. But, of course, it isn’t anybody else. It’s Buck. The silence feels less like stifling heat and more like a hug, a quiet reminder that neither of them are alone.
Eddie takes a sip of his beer, glancing at Buck in his peripheral, who sits dejectedly with his gaze fixed on the wall. Eddie slides his bottle, now empty, across the coffee table, sitting back into the couch cushions with a sigh. It almost feels wrong to break the silence, but Eddie knows letting Buck stew in whatever’s bothering him will end in a lot more empty bottles decorating the table.
“You’re wearing that pout Gerrard was talking about.”
Buck turns towards him with a half-hearted glare, hair curling over his forehead. “And you’re not wearing pants.”
Eddie glances down at his lap, almost having forgotten his bare thigh is pressed against Buck’s. Almost. “Well, to be fair, I wasn’t expecting company.”
Buck snorts, and it should be unattractive, but Eddie has reached such an absurd level of fondness for Buck that it makes everything he does seem endearing. “You normally sit around in your underwear when nobody’s home?”
At the reminder of the empty house, the painfully, hauntingly empty bedroom down the hall, Eddie’s face falls. Buck seems to realize his mistake immediately, eyes wide as he scoots impossibly closer to Eddie on the couch.
“I- I’m sorry, Eds, I didn’t-”
“Buck. Stop,” Eddie interrupts kindly. “We’re both feeling the absence, and I know how much it sucks. Even if you’re trying to hide it for my sake. We couldn’t avoid talking about it forever.”
Buck starts to nod before squinting at Eddie, eyebrows furrowing. “Can we avoid talking about it for one more minute, actually? You shaved.”
Eddie huffs a laugh. “You just noticed? How long have we been sitting here?”
“In my defense, I’ve been a little preoccupied. Tommy, he, uh- he broke up with me,” Buck says.
“Shit. I’m sorry, man, do you- I mean, did you- wanna talk about it?” Eddie asks clumsily.
“Hey, I asked about the mustache first,” Buck says. “Your thing, then my thing. And then, if we’re not emotionally wiped…our thing?”
“That’s a lot of things,” Eddie says, amused. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make it through all of that in one night. I’m pretty tired from earlier, to be honest.”
“Earlier?” Buck’s eyebrows fly up. “What- what happened earlier?”
“Probably not whatever you’re thinking,” Eddie laughs.
His shoulder brushes against Buck’s with the movement. Normally, the touch would feel too indulgent to Eddie, closer to Buck than he deserves to be. Right now, though, pleasantly lightheaded from the beer and the dancing, Eddie doesn’t stop himself. He exhales deeply, letting his muscles relax into the cushions and leaning more and more heavily into Buck’s side. Buck tenses for a moment before his body goes limp, head falling on to Eddie’s shoulder.
Eddie carefully pries the beer from Buck’s hand, unable to stop a smile from growing on his face as he leans forward to place the bottle next to his own and Buck grumbles unhappily, waiting impatiently until he can have his pillow back.
“So are you gonna tell me why you finally shaved? You’ve had that mustache for months,” Buck mumbles, muffled slightly by the fabric of Eddie’s shirt.
Eddie sighs. “A priest hit on me.”
Buck slowly lifts his head from Eddie’s shoulder, ensuring he sees the baffled stare being leveled at him. “I’m gonna need some more info on that.”
“Apparently, I haven’t been letting myself feel enough joy lately. Or any joy, really,” Eddie admits.
“And what…what does that have to do with the gay priest?”
“I’m-” Eddie pauses. “I’m not sure.”
“Okay. That’s- that’s okay,” Buck reassures. “You don’t have to know.”
Eddie can’t look away. He suddenly feels hyper-sensitive to the fabric of Buck’s pants on his skin. The heat of Buck’s body pressed against his own makes him dizzy, swaying even further into his best friend’s space.
“But- what if I do know?” Eddie whispers. “What if I do know, and I just wish that I didn’t?”
“Well,” Buck begins carefully. “I would say…listen to the priest. About the joy you’re not letting yourself have. That seems like a pretty good place to start.”
Eddie doesn’t let himself think. He’s not even sure he registers himself moving. All he knows is that one moment, he’s watching Buck’s long eyelashes flutter, and the next, he feels Buck’s soft, pink lips parting under his own.
Gasping into the kiss, Eddie’s body moves of its own accord, swinging a bare leg over Buck to straddle his lap. He never wants their mouths to separate, would be perfectly content to never speak again if it meant his tongue could stay curled around Buck’s for the rest of eternity. When Buck pulls back, Eddie chases after him, a string of saliva connecting their lips.
“Are you- Is this- What are we doing, Eddie?” Buck pants.
Eddie’s arms wrap around Buck’s shoulders, tucking his head into the crook of his neck to bite and lick at the skin there. A surprised moan escapes Buck, his hips instinctively jutting upwards.
Eddie latches onto the base of Buck’s throat, sucking the skin between his teeth while Buck writhes beneath him. “I’m doing what you said. I’m letting myself have joy.”
Buck whimpers brokenly at Eddie’s words. He claws at Eddie’s thighs, grabbing closer and closer to the curve of his ass. “Jesus. You’re gonna kill me.”
Eddie chuckles, licking up Buck’s neck to press a kiss behind his ear. “Well, we don’t want that, do we?”
Buck laughs, his warm palms sliding up the back of Eddie’s shirt. “Definitely not.”
Eddie senses a shift in the air, and before he can even blink, he’s being flipped onto his back, Buck hovering over him with a devilish grin. He gasps, his legs flailing before he wraps them around Buck’s waist.
“Okay. Yeah,” Eddie says breathlessly, eyes locked on Buck’s mouth. “That works.”
“Priest isn’t the only one with moves, huh?” Buck teases, lowering his hips until their bodies are pressed together from head to toe, rocking back and forth as his teeth tug at Eddie’s ear lobe.
“You’re such an idiot,” Eddie whispers, smiling as he surges up to capture Buck’s lips, humming at the warm, inviting heat of his mouth.
Buck’s hands, big and rough, grip the backs of Eddie’s thighs, pushing his knees closer to his chest. “Can you hold these up for me?”
Eddie whimpers. “Yeah. Yeah, I can do that.”
Buck pushes his thighs apart, situating himself between Eddie’s legs and ducking his head to kiss around the waistband of his underwear. “I can’t believe you didn’t put pants on to open the front door.”
Eddie chuckles as Buck kisses down the back of Eddie’s right thigh, paying special attention to the mole that’s usually hidden underneath his uniform, sucking dark purple marks around it. Eddie can’t hold back a whine, throwing his head back while Buck leaves a trail of his kisses up towards his hip bones. He mouths at the outline of Eddie’s cock, lapping at the fabric until it’s damp and nearly see-through. Eddie’s hands fly to Buck’s hair, not holding him there but softly brushing through his curls.
“I love when you wear your hair like this,” Eddie whispers. “So beautiful.”
A blush spreads across Buck’s face. He moves up Eddie’s body with a sheepish smile, laying down on top of him and cupping his face as they kiss. Buck’s tongue traces along the seam of Eddie’s lips, and he immediately lets his mouth fall open, the kiss becoming more and more frantic as Eddie wraps his arms around Buck’s neck. Buck pulls back slightly to mouth under Eddie’s jaw, carefully tiling his head back while he sucks and bites, leaving what is sure to be a monster of a hickey high enough on his throat that his uniform collar won’t be able to cover it. He shivers at the thought, being able to show off irrefutable evidence that, even if only for a moment, Buck wanted him.
Buck wedges a thigh in between Eddie’s spread legs, applying steady pressure that Eddie wants to roll his hips into. Buck chuckles as he trembles underneath him and grabs his ass, encouraging Eddie to move his hips forward and rut against his jean-clad thigh. Eddie moans, the friction too dry and almost more painful than pleasurable but somehow still perfect. He can’t help but think that anything with Buck would be perfect.
“You wanna get off like this, baby?” Buck whispers, moving Eddie’s hips in slow thrusts. “Riding my thigh?”
Hearing the words out loud makes something inside Eddie light up, working his hips faster and panting. “You- you, too.”
“Shit,” Buck swears, dropping a kiss into Eddie’s hair as he lines up their crotches and grinds down.
They groan in unison, a symphony of pleasure that sounds more beautiful than anything Eddie’s ever heard before. The thin fabric of his briefs rutting against Buck’s jeans, feeling where Buck is hard and throbbing for him, brings Eddie to the edge embarrassingly quickly. Or, it would be embarrassing, if Buck wasn’t just as desperate above him, attaching his lips to Eddie’s neck and muffling a whine as their bodies move in tandem.
“Are you-”
“Uh huh,” Buck pants, brushing sweaty strands of hair off of Eddie’s forehead in such a tender way that Eddie can feel himself tearing up.
“𝘉𝘶𝘤𝘬.”
“What is it, baby? What do you need?”
“You. Just you.”
Buck holds Eddie’s hips in place, his thrusts quickly losing their steady rhythm. “You have me. You’ve always had me.”
Eddie’s vision goes white as he comes, arching against Buck and moaning his name loudly enough he worries for a moment that his neighbors might hear. The concern melts away at the sight of Buck’s blissed-out expression, his hips jerking and slowing in pace until he goes limp and falls forward, covering Eddie like a weighted blanket.
“I’ve never dry humped in jeans before,” Buck mumbles into Eddie’s neck. “I think I chafed my dick.”
Eddie couldn’t stop his laughter if he tried, face breaking out into what has become one of many smiles that day. His jaw aches, muscles unused to expressing this much happiness. Eddie feels warm down to his very core, so full of love that he could burst at the seams. Buck joins in his laughing, the pair giggling stupidly and pressing kisses into every bit of skin they can reach. Eddie exhales, nuzzling Buck’s shoulder, and lets himself bask in complete and utter joy.