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"Hurry up!"
"I'm trying! You try digging a hole six feet fucking deep. It's not that easy!"
Uma rolled her eyes leaning up against the tree next to her. She was supposed to be keeping watch while Harry did the work of digging but at this point with how long he was taking and how loud he was being it was unlikely that they were going to get caught, that would've happened a while ago if that was going to be the case.
They were in the evil queen's private cemetery outside her 'castle.' Word had gone around that she was in her mourning time again, which means her newest lover had died. It was to be expected. It always happened with her. But one thing about the queen was that she buried these men with a few jewels always. It was a luxury. Whether she was rich or not it was to prove a point that she could. That she was powerful enough to put valuable pieces underground. Surprisingly nobody usually messed with it. People had tried and they never made it out alive. Well those were other people. Amateurs. Harry and Uma were not those people. To them it wasn't any riskier than anything else. Playing with death was always their thing. But of course. The longer Harry took the longer that game was, and Uma wasn't having it anymore.
"Give me that" Uma stood above the hole Harry was in and held her hand out for the shovel
"Be my guest" Harry said handing it over and holding out his hand for stability for Uma as she climbed down with him.
As soon as Uma put the shovel down she realized that the dirt was very clay-like. It was hard as fuck, like concrete.
"Oh, easy now is it?" Harry taunted to get back at her for all the nagging
She narrowed her eyes looking up at him. He was sweating and pale, pieces of dirt had fallen on his shoulder. But honestly he still looked good in her opinion. She would never say that so instead she said-
"Well at least I don't look like I just came out of this grave" she shrugged beginning to shovel, trying to make it look like she wasn't struggling
"At least I make a pretty corpse" Harry said
"Yeah you will if we don't get this done soon" Uma replied
"So you admit it?" Harry said
"Admit what?"
"That I'm pretty"
I mean, yes, she agreed.
"Shut up and let me concentrate" She said
Harry smirked. Returning to the work at hand he decided he was going to help by kicking at the dirt with his shoe.
"What are you doing? Uma questioned
"Helping" Harry said
"Riiight" Uma said. His tactic wasn't really working but Uma wasn't going to stop him.
After a few more minutes of digging and Harry kicking at random clumps of dirt Uma felt her shovel hit a wooden box.
"Haha I got it! It's here" Uma said
"And where's my credit?" Harry said
"It's in this box. So why don't you help me open it"
Fair enough.
They cleared off the top and opened up the coffin. Inside was a fresh corpse and some shiny jewels. Perfect.
"Ugly man" Harry commented
"Could it be the decaying flesh by any chance?" Uma said
She got her bag and held it open as Harry collected everything of value and put it in her bag. They were so close to success. And that's when a bright light turned on.
"Shit" Uma clutched on to Harry pulling him close as they crouched down together next to the dead guy
"Who dares trespass on the royal lands! You will lose your life for this!"
The evil queen herself. Yeah no she wouldn't hesitate. They needed to figure out a plan otherwise they were fucked.
"Harry" Uma whispered
Harry looked at her. He was trying to ignore how close she was. "Hmm" he whispered, definitely not staring at her lips
"Distract her" Uma said
What!?
Before he could even react Uma was already crawling out of the hole. Apparently it was up to Harry now. Cause what the hell, Uma was leaving him!
"Reveal yourself!" The evil queen demanded
"Uh. My dear. It is me, your husband. I'm back" Harry said changing his voice to sound older.
Uma looked back at him and sighed. This was literally the worst game plan.
"What!? I killed you, you bastard" the queen shouted
Hey, at least it was working
"No, our love is stronger than death itself" Harry said
"I don't even like you! I cut off your head"
"I... I uh put it back on"
"Gods now I have to kill you again! And after I just did my hair. Don't worry I'll chop you up this time" the older woman said walking towards the grave
Well so much for that
Harry hid lower into the hole hoping that he wouldn't be seen
"Such a hassle" The queen sighed "Yo-"
Suddenly she stopped. Harry stood up curious as to what had happened. The evil queen was on the ground with a branch by her and Uma behind her. She had knocked her out. Perfect.
Harry smiled climbing out of the hole and walking up to Uma.
"And here I was thinking you left me" He said
"Don't be an idiot. I would never" Uma said
Harry's smile widened "Well don't we make a good team"
"Yeah your distracting methods are really good " Uma said sarcastically
"Hey it worked" Harry shrugged
"Amazingly" Uma said
"I know. Otherwise you would've had to admire my pretty corpse" Harry said referencing the comment he made earlier
"A shame. I guess I'll just have to admire you alive" Uma said walking away from him
Harry's eyes widened. He caught up to her with a couple of strides. "Care to repeat that"
Uma rolled her eyes and smiled at him "You did a good job Harry. I thought I might as well reward you"
"What does this reward entail?" Harry said
Uma got on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek "How's that for a reward?"
Harry smirked "Move over a little bit and it's perfect" he said tapping his lips
"Hmm. Get home and clean that dirt off your face and we'll see" Uma said
"Anything you want" Harry said
Harry liked robbing graves anyway but if it got him kisses? Well you best believe he was on the way to the next cemetery to get some more goods for Uma.