Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He had never thought much about the afterlife, even after growing up in a pretty religious household. What was there to imagine after dying? Other than absolutely nothing as your brain shuts down and every nerve ending that defines a person just fizzles away into thin air.

Sure, his family believed that people's souls move onto the next plane of existence after the physical body's death but that's something he could never completely wrap his mind around. So, he never did. Simple as that.

Well, until now apparently.

"Seriously? Twilight?"

He could have sworn that the searing white ball of light above him shrugged. Don't ask him how, it just did.

"Not that I'm complaining, but this seems to fly in the face of almost everything we know about the afterlife."

And now it felt like the ball of light was calling him stupid, along with the rest of humanity as a whole. Which is not WRONG, per say, but it still felt like he should be offended on the behalf of his species.

"Rude."

Another shrug.

"Though, not wrong."

A nod this time.

It kind of freaked him out how expressive a glowing ball of light could be without actually moving or talking, but rather communicating completely in VIBES.

"Thanks for not dropping me into some fucked up post-apocalyptic world, I really appreciate it. At least I can live a normal life in the Twilight universe."

No.

"Huh? What do you mean no?"

Plot.

"Fuck you mean plot? I'm staying the fuck away from Washington between the years of 2005 and 2008."

PLOT.

"FUCK THE PLOT IM NOT EVEN BELLA."

Beau.

"The fuck is a bo. The staff?"

Name.

"What kind of dumbass name is Bo?"

B. E. A. U.

"Beau? That's even worse. Who has the name Beau now a days, it’s the 21st century."

Yours.

"MINE?"

Twin.

"Seriously?"

A nod.

"I'm going to strangle whoever wrote this crappy, zero braincell fanfiction storyline."

Me.

"Dude."

Deal with it.

"Do you even have a neck for me strangle?"

Goodbye.

"WAIT! Before you chuck me into the sparkly cesspool that is Twilight. Do I at least get some kind of cool powers to help me survive?"

Something like that.

"Can it at least be something like Bella's shield? I really don't want a hundred-year-old virgin snooping around my mind."

Sure.

"Thank god for small mercies."

Before he could say anything else, the ground opened up beneath him and sent him spiralling through an inky black space. He could have sworn that he heard maniacal cackling coming from the room he was in but then again, how would a ball of light talk?

The one thing he knew for sure was that he would avoid the Cullens like the plague, no matter what a dumbass sister thought about a douchebag edgelord. Let her fall in love with Creepward who stands outside people's windows at night like a weirdo, just don't involve him in their shenanigans. He'll carry around a lighter at all times if he had to.

With zero warning, he was back standing in the blinding white room.

"AH! MY EYES! IT BURNS!"

Mate.

"HUH?!"

Vampire.

"WHAT?"

Good luck.

Then he was back to falling at terminal velocity through the pitch black but with extra burns in his eyes and even more questions in his mind as his previous plans to avoid the vampire world crumbled away do to the machinations of a cruel and shit god.

"FUCK YOU BEING X!"

------------------------------------------

"Are you actually driving all the way to Forks?"

Beaufort Swan looked out the driver side window at his twin sister who looked slightly aggravated. He didn't blame her; it was a three-hour flight in a cramped space with the possibility of crying kids and babies. Now, doing that alone? Honestly, that sounded like hell given form in the real world.

Was hell even real? He would have to ask Being X next time, if he remembered to.

"Yeah? How else am I going to take all my stuff?"

"Can't you just ship it over?" Bella huffed.

Yikes, now she looked fully annoyed. That usually wasn't a good sign for Beau's general mental and physical safety with how short a fuse she has, especially with him.

Now, did he dig that grave himself from years of trolling her as children?

Yes.

Did he regret doing it?

Hell no. Shit was funny as fuck.

"Bella, my sweet sister who is the fairest of them all, there's no chance my swords and instruments are making it through the US postal service without being confiscated or broken somehow. Have you SEEN how our FedEx guy handles those packages? No finesse, I swear."

The beauty comment seemed to fly straight past Bella's face as she let out about annoyed huff.

Beau tsked, anyone else saying that to her would have left her in a stuttering awkward mess but it would seem she was getting used to his bail out tactics.

"Anyways, it's only a 25-hour drive. It'll be fine. You're welcome to join me you know."

It's true, he had offered the passenger seat to his sister multiple times ever since they decided to move in with their dad in Forks a few weeks ago.

"Thanks, but I'll take a three-hour flight over a twenty-five-hour drive," she answered with a slight grimace, but soon enough it pulled itself into a resigned smile, "Please drive safe."

"You know I always do," Beau responded, reaching out for a fist bump.

Bella rolled her eyes and bumped his fist, "Whatever. I'll see you there."

"See you later, Bellygater!" Beau exclaimed with a smirk as he peeled his 2000 Honda Civic away from the curb where his twin sister was yelling something at him with middle fingers in the air.

He knew that Bella would get her revenge for reviving THAT hilarious nickname, but it was totally worth it.

After all, Beau wouldn't be able to troll his totally wonderful and not a hot-head sister for the next 25 hours. It just wouldn't be fair to himself if he didn't make fun of her one more time before driving away.

------------------------------------------

“So, riddle me this Batman. How the fuck are you in my car? I know I locked it.”

Beau thumbed the steering wheel of his beloved car, ironically named Nikola because by no means was this vehicle all electric nor was it fuel efficient.

“Hey! I’m not Batman, he’s so not cute. If anything, I’m more like Catwoman or Batwoman. Deadly AND sexy.”

“Doesn’t really answer my question.”

He looked over at the not-so-stranger, stranger sitting cross legged in his passenger seat with the back rest laid completely flat, looking very comfortable and smug about it.

Beau had always imagined Alice Cullen to look more like a much shorter grown-up-ish Ruby Rose from the internet series RWBY, around season eight if he was being specific. Slightly innocent looking with choppy hair but could totally kick your ass from Monday to Sunday without breaking a sweat.

A total head canon fan theory that disproved itself right before his eyes.

“Really Beau? In my over one-hundred-years of none-living, do you think I never learned how to pick a lock?”

The questioning look on her face with the little head tilt was criminal and it took everything Beau had to not reach over and ruffle her hair a little.

“Don’t you dare touch my head or you will live the rest of your life without that hand,” Alice hissed, leaning as far away from him as possible in his car, “It takes AGES to get this look, and you will NOT ruin it.”

This got a chuckle out of him, and he opted to just start up his car and drive off from the gas station instead of questioning the legality of her breaking into his car.

There wasn’t much distance left until he… they reached Forks and if the future seeing vampirette burglar wanted to join him on the ride, who was he to say no.

Seriously, what sane and arguably straight guy would say no to a road trip with a cute girl?

No one.

Bella might say otherwise since she still thought that he was secretly gay and was waiting for him to come out.

So what if he kissed a guy at a party?

They were playing king’s cup, that’s all the explanation needed.

“Are you narrating in your own head again?”

Beau glanced over at the not-Ruby Rose looking girl still sitting towards him and not the front of the car.

“Can you sit properly? I don’t want to get pulled over, dealing with cops is a pain, and yes, I was narrating in my head.”

At this point Beau didn’t question what Alice knew and did know.

While Edward may be the mind reader of the Cullen family, Alice probably knew more about the various people they interact with frequently just because of the infinite possible conversations she could have with those people in the future.

Truly, future-sight is a broken ability.

But was it worth the headaches? Not too sure.

Actually, with how subjective Alice’s ability was, she probably didn’t know as much as Beau gave her credit for.

“Fine, fine, spoilsport,” Alice pouted as she fixed the seat and grumbled, “Not like I don’t know that there won’t be any cops between here and your home. Also, stop talking in your head, I’m not Edward, and I want to have a conversation with you, you know.”

“You sure? I tend to jump topics pretty fast,” Beau raised an eyebrow.

Alice just scoffed, “I think I can manage.”

Beau hummed and took another glance at the girl, now sitting faced forward, and took note of two things.

“Seatbelt please.”

The passenger seatbelt clicked softly after a silent pause.

“What are you, a law-abiding citizen?”

That was one thing. The other? Beau would keep that to himself.

“Eh, in broad daylight, sure.”

The lack of a marriage ring on her ring finger felt wrong somehow to Beau, but it wasn’t his place to question such things. The butterfly effect was a chaotic force after all.

“Oh? That implies that during nighttime you aren’t such a goody two shoes.”

“What are you, fifty? Who even says goody two shoes anymore?”

“Excuse you?! I am not FIFTY, I’m at the young age of nineteen. Still in my youthful prime and not OLD.”

“Dude, you’ve been nineteen for like three hundred years.”

“ONE!”

Alice shoved a hand in Beau’s cheek.

“ONE HUNDRED YEARS!”

“HEY I’M DRIVING!”

“ONE HUNDRED!”

“DRIVING!”

“ONE!”

“FINE! ONE HUNDRED! YOUNG AND SPRY, TOTALLY NOT OLD AND DECREPIT.”

This finally got the cold hand off of his face.

“Thank you! You’re too kind Beau.”

“Uh, huh. That totally wasn’t a driving hazard or anything.”

“Hmm… are you saying I’m so young and beautiful that I distract you from driving?”

“Hah?”

“Are you coming onto me? I’m flattered truly but-.”

“YOU PUT YOUR HAND IN MY FACE WHILE I WAS DRIVING!”

“AND?”

“HUMAN! NORMAL, ZERO FUTURE SEEING POWER, HUMAN! I can’t drive with a hand on my face!”

“Sounds like a skill issue.”

Beau glared at Alice who had the biggest shit eating grin he had ever seen.

“I’m going to strangle you.”

“Kinky.”

“Oh my god, please have mercy on my soul.”

“Silly Beau, you’re not Christian. Why would God care about your soul?”

The silence that fell between them was almost palpable. If there was a third person sitting in the backseat of Nikola, they could probably see the gears rolling in Beau’s head with how hard he was thinking.

And then, after SECONDS of high-level thinking that rivalled Albert Einstein, Beau responded.

“Hag.”

Now, the silence was definitely palpable, thick even.

“I’LL KILL YOU!”

“TRY ME FUCK FACE! AH! GET YOUR DIRTY ASS HANDS OFF OF MY FACE!”

“MY HANDS AREN’T DIRTY YOU BITCH!”

That was how the rest of the drive to Fork went, peacefully and definitely not swerving all over the narrow road of the US 101-North.

Chapter Text

Beau could help but let out an impressed whistle as they rolled up the Cullen family home's driveway.

Their house was massive.

Well, if he was being honest it was more of a mansion than a regular suburban house but apparently Esme didn't like to call it that according to Alice.

Made them sound pretentious.

Which, to be fair, was kind of true seeing as how they were the 'rich family' of the town.

"Could you at least mumble?" Alice asked.

He looked over to see her pouting with her arms crossed, sitting crisscrossed withthe chair leaned back. Again.

"I can't help it. Also, seriously? The chair?"

"What? It's comfy."

"It's a health hazard."

"Hey! My dad says I'm perfectly healthy!" she stated looked extra proud with hands on her hips.

Beau deadpanned, "Your dad? What are you, a kid?"

Alice placed both her hands on her cheeks and gasped loudly, leaning uncomfortably close into his personal space.

She had gotten so close that he had to physically lean away just to avoid getting headbutted by the tiny menace.

"Aw, you think I'm youthful! I knew you would finally see it my way."

"Get your face away from me you hag." he said as he shoved her face away with his hand, "I can see the animal fur stuck between your teeth."

He couldn't help but smirk at the low growl emanating from the girl.

It was adorable how she thought she could scare him.

Not to mention the death glare she was giving him through the gaps between his fingers.

It kind of reminded him of an angry Pomeranian.

He thought about saying it out loud until he felt something wet slowly slide across the palm of his hand, any and all thoughts screeching to stop as he tried to process what had just happened.

"Did... Are you?"

Then it happened again, slower this time.

He ripped his hand away to see something wet glistening on his palm.

"Did you just LICK my hand?"

"You put your hand on my face!"

"And LICKING my hand was your best response?!" he exclaimed, still in disbelief that the over a century year old vampire had just licked his damn hand.

"Shut up!"

"No, you shut up!"

Then Beau, in his infinite wisdom and maturity, wiped his hand on her face.

The look of utter horror and shock that Alice gave him was hands down the funniest thing he had ever seen in both of his lives.

"I-. You-, BITCH!"

It was Beau's turn to let out the loudest fake gasp he could muster, covering his mouth with his not saliva covered hand.

"Why. I. NEVER!"

Alice suddenly paused for a split second before giving him the stink eye.

"Don't you dare."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said as he slowly rolled down the driver side window.

"I can literally see the future."

"Eh...?" he trailed off before moving as fast as he could to stick his head out the window, "MS. ESME! AL- ACK!"

Alice had lunged at him to cover his mouth with her hands while trying to drag him back inside the car.

"SHUT UP!" she yelled.

Beau pulled out the best self-defense move in his arsenal and shoved her face away with hand. The wet one, still covered in her saliva.

"MS. ESME! ALICE SAID A BAD WORD!"

"OH MY GOD YOU'RE SUCH A BI-!"

Before Alice could finish her sentence the front door of her house flung open reveal Esme in all of her motherly glory exuding an aura that only mothers warpath could replicate.

"ALICE CULLEN!"

The two of them froze up immediately.

They were like deer in headlights, afraid to move even an inch as Esme began walking towards the front of his car.

It had been a long time since he had been stared down like this by a mother.

Renee wasn't a BAD mother per say but she wasn't exactly the shining example of a good mother either.

She kept him and Bella fed with a roof over their heads but he couldn't remember the last time she actually thought them any useful life skills or even acted like a mother at all.

As Bella put it, Renee was like a flighty older sister who came and went as she pleased.

"Hands where I can see them!" Esme yelled as she came to a stop.

Instantly, both he and Alice sat straight up in their seats with their hands on the dashboard.

"Young lady, inside the house. Now."

Beau watched from his peripherals as Alice scrambled to get out of the car and in all of her vampiric gracefulness, she tripped and fell face first onto the ground because she had leaned the seat all the way back.

It took every fiber of his being to not laugh his ass off.

Justice had been served.

Alice probably had sensed it because she glared at him from the ground and shot him the middle finger.

"Alice!" Esme yelled, causing the girl to scramble up and rush inside.

How the older woman had known Alice had flipped him off, Beau didn't know because Alice had definitely been hidden by the car door.

A mother's instinct was terrifying.

Beau watched as Alice peaked through the curtains from inside the house and stuck out her tongue at him before rushing off to who knows where.

The scoundrel had gotten the last laugh.

In that moment he vowed to never let her live down the fact that she tripped out of his car.

"Young man," Esme's calm voice cut through his thoughts.

He had completely forgotten that Esme was still there.

"Yes ma'am."

"Polite," she said with a nod, "Thank you for bringing my daughter home safely. I hope she didn't cause too much trouble?"

"No ma'am, none at all."

"That's good to hear. Now, it's getting late and I'm sure Chief Swan would like to see his son home for dinner. However, do come by tomorrow for lunch. I would love to properly meet the boy my daughter has gotten to be such good friends with. Yes?"

Beau's mind ran a millions miles an hour with how he should respond but all that came out was a single, "Okay."

Curse his inability to say no, especially to scary moms.

"Terrific, I'll see you then," Esme said with a smile, "Off you go now, drive safely young man."

"Thank you, have a good day ma'am.'

He only let out a sigh of relief once he felt his tires hit the paved road of main road leading to his dad's house.

He wasn't about to bet on how good vampiric hearing could be.

Beau couldn't help but wonder how book Bella had been so at ease interacting with the members of the Cullen family and how she had SLEPT inside their home multiple times.

Esme was terrifying.

Not in a bad way, no she was way too nice, but rather in a 'holy shit I better get my shit together or she's gonna kick my ass' way.

So in short, a mom.

Maybe that's why Bella fit in with them so well in the books. After growing up with Renee, Esme felt like a breath of fresh air and something he had been missing for a long time.

He rested his chin on top of the handle as he rolled to a stop at a red light.

That was probably what he was going to miss the most once the storyline progresses into whatever went down in the books.

Having his sister by his side.

Per Volturi laws Bella would be turned once she learns about the supernatural world and would be forbidden from contacting any non-supernatural beings lest she incur their wrath.

He wasn't sure how future Beau would handle THAT whole mess but right now all he could do was enjoy the time he has left with Bella.

Not that he's going to stop trolling her. That was his god given right as her brother.

Sure, Being X had told him he would be mated to a vampire but the whims of higher beings were fickle and maybe the orb of light had changed its mind at some point.

Who even knows anymore?

Nothing good ever came from dwelling on what could be for too long.

Beau let out a long sigh, staring up at the still red light.

"Troublesome.

...

"What's up with the hand print?"

Of all the things Beau had expected to hear when he opened the door to his dad's house for the first time in nearly a decade, that wasn't one of them and who else would it had been other than his dear little sister Bella.

"Sup, Bellygator."

He dodged the couch cushion that flew at his face.

"Rude.

"I'll kill you in your sleep."

"You can try dear sister of mine."

"Whatever," Bella said with an exasperated eye roll, "Stop dodging the question loser. Who did you piss off this time?"

"Why. I. NEV- !" he fake gasped, only to be cut off by another cushion flying at his face, though this time if couldn't dodge in time and it smacked him right between his eyes.

He threw every single sentimental thought he had on the drive over as the cushion fell to the ground with a lame thump.

"You're dead to me," he deadpanned.

"Aw, love you too Beau. Feelings mutual."

He leaned down to pick up both cushions and tossed them onto the couch as he walked by to go to the kitchen for a snack.

"Anything good in here?" he asked as he turned the kitchen light on.

"Nothing worthwhile," she answered as she followed behind him, "First thing I checked when Charlie went out for some emergency thing at work."

Beau opened the fridge anyways and was greeted with a nearly empty fridge filled with the bare essentials.

Beer, milk, and eggs.

The ultimate combination of a workaholic bachelor.

"Sad," he said with a disappointed frown.

"Oh, by the way he said order something for dinner and eat without him. Said he might get back pretty late."

That immediately picked up his mood.

"Nice. Pizza?"

"Duh, what else is there to eat around here?"

"True." 

Bella slid the worn out pamphlet across the kitchen counter top as he closed the fridge door. 

"I want vegetarian with anchovies." 

He shot her a grossed-out look, "Seriously?" 

Bella crossed her arms, "What? They taste good." 

There was a joke to make here about her pallet taking a nose dive around this time of the month but kept his mouth shut knowing full well breaching THAT topic would actually put him six feet under. 

"If you say so," he said with a shrug, "I'm getting triple cheese." 

"Boooooring." she sang as she walked out of the kitchen while Beau beelined it for the landline attached to the wall in the living room. 

The call itself was pretty standard other than the unskippable dialogue tree of yes he was new to town, yes this is Charlie Swan's residence, yes I'm his son, yes we're back, blah, blah, blah, thank you have a good night. 

He knew this would go on for another month or so and just thinking about it tired him out.

He blamed Renee for passing down her extroverted tendencies to him while Bella took after Charlie in the social aspect but to Renee's disappointment.

One of these days Bella would be the one placing the order.

In his dreams, maybe. 

"If you're done chatting it up with the pizza lady, you still haven't answered my question," Bella commented.

He looked over to see that she was back to being fused with the couch.

"You're seriously still on about that? Also, the pizza lady was actually a man thank you very much."

"Whatever, answer the question nerd."

Beau hopped over the back of the couch and landed heavily on the surprisingly comfy couch with an oomph.

He ignored the annoyed look Bella shot at him for rocking the sofa.

"Are you THAT bored?" he asked, grabbing the remote to flip through the channels.

Bella scoffed, "You try sitting through a four hour flight with five, FIVE screaming children. I wanted to jump off the plane within the first hour"

"Yikes, that bad?" he said, cringing.

"Worse," she replied, grabbing his chin to turn his face towards her,

He let her manhandle him knowing he wouldn't be able to dodge her forever and he could see her eyes roaming across the red hand print on the lower part of his jaw.

"You're not answering the question and dodging pretty hard," she said with a calculated tone, "It's a girl isn't it?"

Beau scoffed and rolled his eyes, "I wish."

She squinted her eyes slightly before letting gO of his face with a smug grin.

"You rolled your eyes. You never do that unless you're lying. So it IS a girl."

Curse him and his inability to lie.

Maybe it was only to Bella because somehow she always knew whenever he was lying and the one time he asked her about it she just shrugged and said 'sister things'.

"Eh..?" he trailed off, trying to lean away fromn his sister but she tightened her grip on his jaw.

"Spill."

Yikes, that was her commanding tone. One that meant he wasn't getting away from this any time soon.

"I met her at the gas station and gave her a ride home. Pretty much it," he said with a half-shrug.

"I know there's more."

She let go of his jaw but before he could roll off the couch she tossed her legs over his and trapped him onto the couch.

He could have easily pushed her off but that would have just led to her physically tackling him to the ground until he gave her the full story.

A long sigh escaped his mouth as he slumped deeper into the sofa.

"We talked for a while and she seemed pretty cool, very... vibrant?"

"Vibrant?"

"Super energetic might be more accurate."

"So basically your type."

"Kind of."

"Kind of," she mimicked in a faux deep tone, "My ass. And?"

"We hit it off," he said, staring blankly at the TV, "We were talking in her driveway and I jokingly yelled out the window that she said a bad word while she was trying to drag me back inside."

"Hence the hand print."

"Hence the hand print, yes."

"Aw, that's ADORABLE," Bella cooed with a cheeky smile.

"Quiet." he said, lightly pinching her shin, "It would have been hilarious if her mom hadn't actually come out the door."

Bella's jaw dropped at the new information.

"No fucking way."

"Yes fucking way."

"So what happened?"

"Honestly? Not as bad as I thought it would be, but holy shit was she scary as fuck. I've never felt that level of mother's wrath in my life."

She scoffed, "As if Renee ever got that angry with us."

"Exactly, but imagine my surprise when she INVITES me to lunch at her place tomorrow to meet the boy her daughter's gotten to be SUCH good friends with' I wanted to crawl into a hole and die."

"No. Fucking. WAY!"

Bella lightly pushed him in the chest with her foot.

"You got an IN with her family?! You dog you."

"Oi," he shoved her foot away, "That shit was scary as fuck, they're like RICH rich. I would even say they're old money rich."

Literally, but he wasn't going to tell that to Bella... yet.

"Damn," she let out a low whistle, "You struck it big, brother of mine. You better treat me to some fancy restaurants when you marry this girl.

"Shut the fuck up."

"Somebody protests a little too much."

Beau flipped her the middle finger as he heard the sound of a car rolling up their drive way.

Help had arrived.

For getting him out of this damned conversation as well as for his stomach.

"Dad leave any money?" he asked as he pushed her legs off and got up.

"On the counter by the front door." she answered with a smirk.

She knew that he knew their conversation wasn't over but only delayed until they've had their fill on the cheesy goodness that was pizza.

He stuck out his tongue at her before opening the front door after the first knock.

"Pizza delivery for the Swan residence?" the delivery person asked with their head down reading the receipt.

"Yup, that's us," he answered.

"Thank God," the delivery person let out a sigh of relief and looked up.

Imagine his surprise when he saw a vaguely familiar face.

"Angela?" he asked, questioning if his memories were correct.

"Beau?" she asked back with wide eyes, "No way! Are you and Bella actually coming to live here?!"

He heard the couch groan behind him followed by quick footsteps before Bella pushed him off to the side.

"Angela?!" Bella exclaimed with a squeal.

"Oh my goodness it IS you guys!" Angela exclaimed just as loudly.

Before Beau could even recover from being chucked into the doorframe, Bella shoved the pizza boxes into his hands and shoved him behind her.

"It's so good to meet you!" Bella yelled before enveloping Angela in a big hug.

"This is awesome!" Angela yelled back, hugging just as tightly.

"What am I, wet paper towel?" Beau mumbled as he walked inside to put the pizza boxes on the living room table.

Despite his grumpy muttering, he was happy to see a familiar face and even more so that Bella got to reconnect with her childhood friend.

The two had been inseparable whenever they came to visit Charlie when they were kids and if he remembered correctly, the twO had kept lose contact through emails the entire time.

"I didn't know you guys were coming today," he heard Angela say.

Yeah, it was kind of a spontaneous thing. We were supposed to come a week before school started," Bella answered.

"Well, are you guys doing anything tomorrow?"

"Nope, I'm free but Beau's got a DATE," Bella fake whispered.

"NO WAY!"

"It's not a date," he said with a NORMAL volume as he walked back to the front door, tapping his sister on the back of the head.

"It's totally a date," she shot back with a shit eating grin.

"Aw, Beau! That's so romantic," Angela said with dreamy eyes, "It's like straight of a novel. The new boy in town meets a girl. That's so dreamy! What's her name?"

"Yeah bro, what's her name?" Bella asked with her arm draped over Angela's shoulder.

His eyes darted between the two of them and wondered how he had ever gotten into this situation in the first place.

Not to mention they were blocking the door to cut off any attempted escape plans.

"This is like when we were kids all over again," he sighed.

The two girls had been the bane of his existence back then and apparently that hadn't changed one bit.

"It's okay, I think it's cute!" Angela said with her signature angelic smile, You can tell us."

Never trust Angela whenever she has her signature smile.

He had learned that the hard way long ago.

"Alice."

"Alice?" Bella asked with confusion on her face, "Alice who -?"

"Alice CULLEN?!" Angela screeched, cutting off Bella.

He winced at the sudden volume and picked at his ear to try and get rid of the ringing.

"For fucks sakes Angelica. Volume?" he asked, blinking a few times.

She at least had the decency to look sheepish.

"Sorry, but really Beau? Alice Cullen?"

"What's the big deal?" he asked, knowing full well what the big deal was.

"Yeah, Angie, what's the big deal? Bella asked, having recovered from the shrieking as well, "All Beau said was that they seemed like old money people."

Angela shot him a dirty look.

"Really? Old money? That's all you had to say?"

"What? It's true," he said with a shrug.

"You're impossible," Angela sighed, shaking her head before turning to look at Bella, "They're THE family in Forks and probably all of Washington state. Like they drive cars worth more than the entire town's life wages combined and they ALL look like supermodels."

"HUH?I" Bella yelled, whipping her head towards him, "You didn't think to MENTION THAT?"

"How was I supposed to know how rich they were? I only saw their house."

"Mansion you mean," Angela scoffed.

"House, mansion, its a building with four walls and a door."

Bella suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders and stared himn dead in the eyes.

"You better not fuck this up."

He grabbed her by the shoulder back, "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Dear brother of mine. I want to know what it feels like to swim in money. Literally."

"Dear sister of mine. That's gross you know how many germs and random drugs are on bills?"

Angela waved her arms between them and pushed them apart with wide eyes.

"What do you mean not screw this up? Screw what up?"

"Apparently Beau was invited to lunch by Alice's mom when they were fooling around in his car," Bella said, putting her hand on her hips.

He gave her the death glare.

She knew what she was doing by twisting his words like that.

"I'll kill you in your sleep."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Bella harrumphed.

"You know EXACTLY what you did- ACK!"

It was apparently Angela's turn to manhandle him that day because the shorter girl still in her pizza delivery uniform grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down to her height.

Wow, he hadn't seen her that crazed since the chocolate incident when they were ten.

"YOU. ALICE. EXPLAIN."

"Me. Friend. Banter?"

A low grow rumbled from Angela's throat, "Don't play around with me Beauford, I am dead on my feet from an eight hour shift and I will not be denied juicy gossip!"

"Okay, okay, chill," he said, carefully untangling her fingers from his shirt.

"I AM SO CHILL RIGHT NOW!"

He shot Bella a quick look but all he got was a middle finger and a shit eating grin instead of help.

This bitch.

"Right. You're totally chill," he said calmly, "I dropped her off at her house and we were joking around when Alice's mom came out because we were talking too loud. She told me to come by for lunch tomorrow so she can meet her daughter's friend properly. That's it. I swear."

Angela's eyes stared into his own and he felt as if she was trying to search his soul to see if he was lying or not.

"Okay," she said, taking a step back, "I believe you. BUT! You better tell me everything tomorrow because I'll be here for dinner."

"You will?" he asked.

"She will," Bella answered.

Of course he had zero say in any of this like usual.

"Yeah, you will," he sighed.

"Perfect!" Angela said with a clap, "Now, I'm gonna head home and fail to get some sleep due to the fact that my childhood friend somehow managed to get an in with the Cullens. This is surreal."

"You don't want to stay for pizza?" Bella asked.

"Bleh," Angela stuck out her tongue in disgust, "You try working at a pizza place for an entire summer. Just thinking about it makes mny stomach churn. I think I'm done eating pizzas for a while."

Bella let out a chuckle and hugged Angela again.

"It was good to see you again. I'll catch you tomorrow."

"Aw, me too. Ill give the house a call before I drop by," Angela said, hugging back before pointing a finger at him, "And YOU!"

"Me?" he said, pointing a finger at himself.

"Come here you dumb dumb," Angela said, hugging him as well, "It's good to see you too. I missed you guys."

He hugged her back with a chuckle, "Good to see you too Angie."

"Anyways, I gotta go. I'll see you guys later!"

He and Bella watched as their childhood friend got back in their car and peeled away from their driveway.

It was nice to see Angela again, he hadn't realized he had missed her this much until now and it felt like the trio was back from their childhood days.

"That was a surprise," his sister said, closing the door.

"Who would have thought Angela would work at a pizza shop?"

"I know right? I thought she would be working at the book store she part-timed at last summer."

"That would fit her image more."

"But would it fit her personality?"

The two looked at each other as they sat down on the couch.

"Nah."

"Nope."

The two of them let out a laugh as they opened his box of pizza and smelled the cheesy goodness.

It was good to be back in Forks.