Chapter Text
The cold breeze of the autumn wind sweeps through the University campus, making the once vibrant green leaves fall to the ground, veiling it in a blanket of golds and browns. Joyful laughter and chatter from fellow students can be heard from a distance, their voices full of anticipation and excitement animating the scene. After a three month long summer vacation, Choi San has arrived back to his dorm, eager to start the new year with renewed forces. He looks up at the familiar, gray, tall building and lets out a soft sigh “Let’s go” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. He picks up his suitcase from the ground and enters the building, his steps echoing in the dark, still hallways.
It’s been a while since he’s last set foot in this space, and now that he’s returned, memories of late-night studies, shared meals and those few solitary moments he cherished so deeply seem to flood his mind yet again. As he mentally prepares himself to climb up the stairs, San takes a deep breath, slightly tightening his grip on the suitcase handle. A couple of minutes pass, and he finds himself standing in front of his dorm room, panting and gasping for air. “Five fucking floors and I still can’t get used to them.” he mumbles, slightly annoyed. “They should’ve installed an elevator or something” the raven-haired adds, his fingers fishing into the pockets of his jacket, searching for the room keys. Once he finds them, he unlocks it, and with a faint creak the door opens widely.
San takes a step into the room, letting the scent of lavender combined with other cleaning solutions engulf his nostrils. For a moment or so, he looks around the room, making sure that no changes were made throughout the summer. Right now, nothing seems out of the ordinary: two large wardrobes adjacent to the door, two twin beds on the left side of the room, a large desk that sits between them, accompanied by two wooden chairs, both neatly pushed in, as if they’re waiting for their owners to return, and a moderate-sized fridge in the right corner of the room. In the left corner, there’s a door that leads to a private bathroom, a small space that promises a little more solitude, privacy. San sighs in relief, grateful to find his room the same as he left it.
The raven-haired begins unpacking, taking his clothes out of the suitcase and neatly arranging them in his wardrobe, making sure every piece is in its designated spot. As he does so, he starts humming to a random tune, his voice breaking through the thick silence that fills the room. Once he’s finally done with his task, he glances around the room, a small, but victorious smile etched on his face. “It’s time to relax”, San murmurs as he approaches his bed and throws himself on it, disheveling it in the process.
He lies there for a couple of minutes with his eyes closed, hoping he’ll be able to get some sleep after a five hour long trip, but his thoughts won’t let him. He’s already in junior year, which means more sleepless nights spent studying, endless deadlines and the inevitable and growing expectations from professors. He turns in his bed, trying to shake off these thoughts, but he can feel anxiety bubbling inside him, making his stomach churn in fear. “Will I be able to do it?” he asks himself, but the question remains unanswered. As he tosses and turns in his bed, he remembers his last exam from the previous year, which truthfully, was more than challenging - it pushed him to his limits.
He remembers the agonizing ticking of the clock, the sound of papers crinkling and his fellow students’ faces as they read the questions. After so many nights of studying, he thought that he had everything under control, but that would be an understatement. To this day, he can still hear how his heart pounded in his chest and how his hands trembled as he wrote his answers on his paper. Just when he was about to write his final answer and submit his sheet, for a split second, everything turned black.
His knees were shaking uncontrollably and he could barely approach the teacher’s desk. In that moment, he realized how much this exam affected him not only mentally, but also physically, to the point he could hardly keep himself up. The second he stepped out of the exam room, his legs carried him to the nearest bathroom. He locked himself in the first stall he saw, the door closing behind him with a loud thud, and he violently threw up. All the stress he endured that exam session took a toll on his well-being, and it showed, the anxiety that had been bubbling inside him for the past weeks spilling out of him in relentless waves that didn’t seem to stop soon.
This memory still sends cold shivers down his spine and makes him flinch every time he thinks about that day, and now, knowing he has to start all over again, he asks himself if he will be able to manage the upcoming workload and not bring himself to exhaustion once again. “I can’t keep doing this to myself” he says, his voice almost soundless. He knows it’s not healthy, that this is not how one should cope with college life, but no matter how hard he tries to change his ways, the fear of failure, of not being good enough, seems to creep back in and gnaw at him. San takes a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves, but it’s too late, anxiety already coursing through him. “Calm down, Choi San” he mumbles to himself. “Everything’s going to be okay. Relax” he adds, but the words feel hollow to him. He takes a deep breath, repeating to himself that everything will be fine eventually.
As he lets those words sink in, his eyes slowly start closing as a wave of fatigue washes over him. He pulls the covers over his head, cocooning himself in the warmth of them as if they will bring him the comfort he desperately yearns for. Before he realizes it, his breath slows down, each breath deeper than the last, and his muscles untense under the heavy weight of the blanket. Slowly, but surely, the racing thoughts in his mind fade into the background, as San allows himself to drift off to dreamland and forget everything about his problems and worries, even if it’s just for a couple of hours.
Not much time passes though, and a couple of insistent knocks followed by some incoherent murmurs can be heard from the other side of the door. San jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest, taken aback by the sudden disturbance. He sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes, hoping to shake off any remnants of sleep left in his body. Just when he is about to hop out of the bed and head to the door, the knocks start to get more persistent and the unfamiliar voice grows louder. For the love of God, please stop, he thinks to himself as he gets out of bed.
“Come on, man! Open up!” the person shouts, sounding both impatient and frustrated.
San shakes his head and slowly approaches the door, hesitance evident in his movements. He reaches for the handle, his fingers trembling slightly on the cold metal, still in shock. The raven-haired takes a deep breath, bracing himself for who or what might be on the other side, and reluctantly pulls the door open, revealing a two-toned haired man standing just inches away from him. He takes a moment to analyze his every detail: from his cool and relaxed posture, his gleaming, mischievous eyes, the annoying smirk that tugs at his lips, he soon realizes that this guy is not good news.
In his opinion, he looks like the kind of person who’ll push boundaries, test his patience even, which San hates with a passion. The more he stares at him, the more his muscles tense and his stomach churns with anxiety. Perfect, he thinks dryly. Another day, another challenge. He tries to shake off these thoughts, not wanting to jump to any conclusions so quickly, but something deep inside him tells him that he might be right. It’s just a matter of time until people start to show their true colors, after all.
“Finally. I’ve been standing here for ages!” he exclaims as he enters the room, throwing his stuff on the vacant bed. “I’m Jung Wooyoung, nice to meet you” he turns around and extends his arm.
“Uhm… hi? I’m San” the raven-haired awkwardly replies, as he shakes hands with Wooyoung. He takes a moment to think about what to say next and clears his throat before speaking again “I wasn’t expecting any visitors.”
Wooyoung raises an eyebrow in confusion “What are you talking about?” he asks, not quite understanding what San just meant. “I’m your new roommate” he adds, a small smirk tugging at his lips.
San can feel how his cheeks and ears warm up, turning a soft shade of pink as the realization sinks in. “Oh, I see” he says, his voice cracking slightly. What the fuck? No one told me about this new… arrangement he thinks to himself.
Wooyoung can’t help but let out a chuckle hearing the raven-haired’s voice crack. In a way, he finds San’s embarrassment adorable.
San crosses his arms over his chest, clearly not pleased with the oreo-haired’s reaction. “What’s so funny?” he asks, his tone switching to a more serious one.
“Nothing, nothing” Wooyoung’s grin slowly fades away from his face, now replaced by a neutral expression. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be so surprised.”
San nods, his hair bouncing up and down slightly. “And I wasn’t expecting a new roommate.”
Wooyoung laughs, amused by the raven-haired response. “Yet, here I am. I guess you’re stuck with me for a year now.”
“Yeah. I guess so” San whispers, his voice almost soundless.
An awkward silence fills the room as soon as Wooyoung turns around and starts unpacking his bag. Jeans, T-shirts and other personal belongings begin to clutter the room the moment Wooyoung gets his hands on the green gym bag he’s been carrying around all day long. In a matter of seconds, the once pristine, carpeted floor is covered in a chaotic sea of clothes and toiletries, all scattered around haphazardly.
“Dude, what are you doing?” San asks, a hint of irritation laced in his voice.
“Taking my clothes out, duh” Wooyoung mumbles, searching through his bag and making an even bigger mess out of the room.
San rolls his eyes, annoyance bubbling inside him. “I can see that. But can you please be organized?” he pleads, trying to keep his anger in check. “I can’t stand seeing the room untidy.”
Not even a day passed and this new guy is already getting on his nerves.
The two-toned haired gives San a reassuring smile as he pulls out his laptop “Don’t worry about it. I will clean up.” he says, completely oblivious to the latter’s discomfort.
San sighs and plops himself onto the bed, the sheets sinking under his weight. He pulls out his phone from the pocket of his pants and starts surfing the internet, in an attempt to distract himself from the growing mess Wooyoung’s creating. Every now and then he steals a glance in the oreo-haired’s direction, but as much as he tries to ignore the mountain of clothes that’s right before his eyes, he can’t. He hates seeing his room, his sanctuary in such a state, which, just a moment ago, was spotless. Little shit. You better keep your damn word, he thinks to himself as he clenches his jaw. He tries to keep his focus on the phone, but it’s impossible with all the shit scattered around the floor.
Wooyoung stands up, letting out a groan as he does so. He stretches his arms above his head, trying to seem tired after all the work he’s done. He looks around the room and then at San, who doesn’t appear to look too interested in the two-toned haired’s effort. He clears his throat, which catches the raven-haired’s attention.
“What?” San asks half-heartedly, his eyes still glued to his phone.
“All done” Wooyoung grins mischievously.
“Done?” the raven-haired crosses his arms over his chest as he looks up to meet Wooyoung’s sparkling eyes.
“Mhm” Wooyoung nods, satisfied with the outcome.
The raven-haired can feel the frustration rising inside him and threatening to spill over any minute now. He gets up from his bed and slowly approaches Wooyoung, so as not to trip over the pile of clothes and other random items on the floor. His eyes darken with anger as he stops in front of the oreo-haired, their bodies just a few inches apart. He takes a deep breath, hoping it’ll help calm himself down, before speaking. “Look” he crosses his arms over his chest “If we’re going to be roommates, we should set some boundaries.”
Wooyoung’s lips turn into a mischievous smirk and his eyes sparkle with anticipation “Boundaries, huh?”
San lets out a frustrated sigh, already fed up with Wooyoung’s carefree attitude. “Yes. Boundaries.” the raven-haired repeats, the words spilling out of his mouth sharper than he intended.
“Well,” Wooyoung says casually, “I don’t know if I’ll be able to respect them” he grins, finding San’s suggestion amusing.
The raven-haired clenches his jaw and grits his teeth in anger. He takes a step closer to Wooyoung, almost closing the gap between them. “I like my space organized.”
The room falls silent as San stands there, watching Wooyoung’s every move, analyzing him carefully. The tension grows thicker with each passing moment, suffocating even, as San remains motionless, his arms still tightly crossed over his chest, his eyes narrowing in anger. The oreo-haired can feel the heat radiating off San’s body and he realizes how serious the situation is. His usual confidence fades away in an instant, replaced by something he cannot discern, and for the first time he feels small and vulnerable. He takes a step back from the raven-haired, his legs trembling in fear seeing San’s serious gaze fixed on him. He tries to say something, anything, but the words catch in his throat, and he can feel a knot tightening in his abdomen. He didn’t expect San to get this mad - not to this extent at least. He’s used to people shrugging off his antics, and now, seeing that San is not that type of person, he thinks he might have gone overboard.
“I’m… I’m sorry.” Wooyoung stammers, his voice shaky. “I’ll try to change. But don’t expect me to be the perfect roommate.” he adds, breaking eye contact.
This is going to be a hell of a year, San ponders internally, as he also distances himself from Wooyoung. “Thank you”, the raven-haired replies, his voice softening a bit, but there’s still a certain weight to it. He exhales deeply, letting all the frustration fade into thin air.
Wooyoung nods slightly and awkwardly scratches the back of his neck. He looks at San for a moment or so, thinking about what to say next, to ease the tension in the room, but his mind goes blank when he sees San heading to his wardrobe and rummaging through it, clearly looking for something. “What are you doing?” he asks, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“I’m going for a walk” he mumbles, too preoccupied to find his jacket. “You better clean your half of the room, or else I’ll throw your shit out the window” San adds after finally finding the jacket he was looking for and putting it on.
“Please… please don’t” Wooyoung whispers, bowing his head down, too embarrassed to look San in the eye. “I’ll clean it up nicely, I promise.”
The raven-haired nods, his expression neutral. He turns on his heels and heads toward the door, his footsteps echoing faintly in the silent room. Without saying another word he reaches for the door handle, his fingers wrapping around the cold metal. With a creak, the door to the room opens widely and he steps out, leaving Wooyoung alone in the chaotic room.
Seeing San disappear through the door, Wooyoung can’t help but gasp loudly, his voice breaking the unnerving silence that fills the room. He can feel his legs giving up on him and he falls to the floor, his back hitting the wooden bed frame. His heart pounds loudly in his chest, as if he just ran a marathon, the adrenaline from their previous encounter still coursing through him. For a couple of minutes, he just sits there, looking at the mess he created while unpacking his bags, feeling like a complete idiot. Great start, Woo, he thinks to himself.
As he tries to calm his nerves down, the image of San’s piercing gaze flashes through his mind, making him shiver in fear. Wooyoung shakes his head, trying to shake off that image, but it’s in vain. The more he tries to forget, the more San’s words echo through his ears and that image of him in which he was on the verge to explode completely. “Guess I have to be more careful from now on” he scoffs, a small grin playing at the corners of his lips.
Wooyoung gets up from the floor, his fingers gripping the bed frame tightly, so as to steady himself and not fall for the second time, his knuckles almost turning white from the pressure. Once on his feet, he runs a hand through his hair and starts picking his clothes up from the floor. “Throw my shit out the window, huh? The audacity…” he murmurs as he neatly folds some blouses and puts them in the wardrobe. A couple of minutes pass, and the oreo-haired is finished with cleaning up his half of the room. Wooyoung looks around the room and smiles proudly, “See? I can be organized” he says, hoping his words will reach San’s ears.
✿✿✿✿
The glowing sun casts warm shadows over the University campus, bathing everything in orange and golden hues. San aimlessly wanders the streets nearby, lost in thought, hands deep into the pockets of his jacket. The occasional sound of chatter of passerby and the crinkling autumn leaves fill the empty streets, creating a gentle soundtrack to his quiet solitude, but he doesn’t pay attention to them, his mind preoccupied with his and Wooyoung’s dispute.
As he continues to walk, he spots a couple of benches, and decides to sit on one, letting his legs stretch as far as they can. “Maybe I overreacted” he murmurs, his voice barely audible. He lets out a heavy sigh as his head falls over the backrest, allowing himself to relax after such a hectic day. He looks up at the sky, only a couple of white, fluffy clouds present.
“Should I apologize?” he asks, but there’s a hint of uncertainty in his voice. That’s the right thing to do, idiot. Of course you should apologize, he thinks to himself. “What if he won’t accept my apology, though?” he ponders, torn between wanting to make things right and not make a fool out of himself. He will never admit it, but he feels bad for snapping at Wooyoung. He didn’t mean to do that, but something in him just couldn’t stand seeing the room in such a mess any longer. Usually, he's a calm and composed guy, but today, it was different and he wished he could’ve handled the situation better. Maybe if he wasn’t that harsh, maybe if he used a calmer tone, Wooyoung would’ve understood from the start. The image of him glaring at Wooyoung keeps replaying in his mind, gnawing at him and making his stomach twist and turn. You scared him shitless, San, he ponders internally.
The raven-haired gets up from the bench and makes his way back to the dorm, his steps slow on the pavement. The cold wind makes its presence known, brushing against his soft skin and making him shiver. He pulls the zipper up, trying to shield himself from the chilly breeze, but that doesn’t help much. The sun begins to set over the horizon, the golden hues from earlier replaced by a blue that deepens with every passing minute.
With each step he takes towards the dorm building, San’s pulled deeper into his thoughts, his conversation with Wooyoung replaying in his mind like a loop he can’t seem to escape. I shouldn’t have let it get to me, he wonders. After a couple of minutes that felt like an eternity, San finds himself standing in front of the dorm building, a mix of uncertainty and anxiety bubbling inside him. He doesn’t know what to expect from Wooyoung, because in his opinion he seems like a very unpredictable person. San lets out a soft sigh before entering the building, bracing himself for what might come next. “It’s just a roommate, for fuck’s sake, San. Stop being so anxious” he says as he climbs up the stairs to his room. The building is unusually quiet tonight, which sends San a cold shiver down his spine.
Once in front of the dorm room, the raven-haired takes a deep breath, in an attempt to calm himself down, and reluctantly pushes the door open, his fingers slightly shaking on the handle. He takes a step inside and takes off his shoes, placing them near his bed. He looks in Wooyoung’s direction, who hasn’t acknowledged his presence just yet. The two-toned haired sits at his desk, his laptop in front of him, having a pair of headphones on his head. His fingers move expertly on the keyboard, each tap faster than the other.
“Hey” San says, while taking off his jacket. For a moment or so, he looks around the room, amazed by Wooyoung’s cooperation. “You actually tidied up the room” he adds, throwing himself on the bed.
Wooyoung takes his headphones off and lets them hang around his neck. He turns around in his chair, now facing San “Oh, hey. You’re back.” he gives the raven-haired a warm smile as he leans forward in the chair.
“Yeah. I guess i just needed to clear my mind for a bit”
Wooyoung gets up from his chair and heads to his bed, sitting down on it “Everything okay now?”
“Mhm.” San nods, making himself comfortable in his bed. “I think I overreacted”
“Are you… apologizing?” Wooyoung asks teasingly, a mischievous smirk tugging at his lips.
“Didn’t say that.” San replies, trying to act nonchalant, but the smile playing at his lips betrays him. He can feel his cheeks and ears heat up and turn a light shade of pink from the embarrassment.
“I accept your apology” the oreo-haired grins, finding San’s embarrassment amusing.
“Yeah… so… what’s your major?” San quickly changes the subject, too embarrassed to continue this whole ‘apology’ thing.
Wooyoung’s eyes flicker with excitement hearing San’s question. “I’m an acting major”
“Really? You want to become an actor?” the raven-haired asks, a hint of curiosity in his tone.
Wooyoung nods, confidence visible on his face. “The nation’s heartthrob, Jung Wooyoung at your service”.
Hearing that, San can’t help but laugh. Heartthrob? he asks himself. “And you really think you can achieve that?” he asks, but there’s no hint of malice in his tone.
“You bet I will” Wooyoung pouts, trying to seem offended by the latter’s remark. “What about you?”
“I’m a sports science major,” San replies casually, crossing his arms over his chest.
“That’s so cool dude!” Wooyoung exclaims, unable to contain his excitement. He always wanted to be in the sports field and he was even a football player in his high school team, but after a bad injury to his knee and a couple of surgeries later, he gave up the dream of becoming a professional football player and instead, turned to acting. He loves what he does, really, but a part of him still wishes that accident never happened.
“Oh, well. You could say that. But I don’t think it’s as cool as acting, though” San laughs, his voice light and teasing.
“Come on. I believe every major is cool and interesting in its own way. You can’t compare them, because each one has its own unique characteristics. After all, this is why we as people are different as well. We’re all unique and special in different ways.” Wooyoung replies, a small smile tugging at his lips.
San takes a moment to take in Wooyoung’s words, amazed how someone like Wooyoung can speak so casually on subjects like this.He didn’t expect the conversation to shift to a topic so deep, but he can’t complain. He lives for such conversations. “Yeah, you’re right. We shouldn’t compare ourselves to others, it’s just…stupid.”
“Exactly.”
San can feel the tension in the room slowly fading away, replaced by Wooyoung’s occasional high-pitched laugh as they continue discussing lighter topics, reminiscing about their past and how they picked their respective majors. Wooyoung shares his story about the knee accident, while San tells him how he always wanted to become a physical therapist. As the night stretches on, the mood changes to a more joyful one and even the air between them feels lighter, as if nothing happened between the two in the first place. Now, for the first time since meeting Wooyoung, San thinks that maybe, if he gives the oreo-haired a chance, the upcoming year won’t be as bad as he previously believed it would be and having a roommate might not be such a bad thing after all.