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Trina sat on the bench, glaring at the boxing bag, thinking of the last confrontation she had with Mr. Football Star. Mr. Football Star who was the same height as Spencer and pretty...like Spencer...and annoyed her to no end like….
“Hey, pretty girl. What are you doing in a place like this and what did I do this time?”
“Spencer!” Trina shot up and raced into his arms, clinging to him tightly, knowing that he could be gone at any moment. “I’m so glad you came!”
“I’ll always come when you need me. You know that,” Spencer smiled as Trina pulled away just to gaze up into his eyes. “Mind telling me why we’re here?”
“I missed you. I miss you all the time.”
“I know that, baby. I miss you too.”
“You know that, really?”
“Of course,” Spencer chuckled, gently caressing her cheek. “Something’s up? Someone’s made you upset. Want to talk about it?”
Trina sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know what there is to talk about. He’s annoying, privileged, and...I pretty much hate him!”
Spencer winced and chuckled. “Now who has my pretty girl all worked up, huh? The only person I’ve ever seen you get so angry with is...well...me.”
Trina rolled her eyes as she returned to her seat. “His name is Kai Taylor. Football star of PCU! So privileged, he doesn’t even have to show up to class! He has a tutor that does all his work for him so all he has to concentrate on is football! Who does that?!”
“I could have if I wanted to, I suppose.”
Trina again rolled her eyes, getting even more angry. “You would and I would have had to kick that notion right out of your handsome head!”
“Of course you would,” Spencer chuckled. “So he’s a privileged jerk. Is that all?”
Trina took his hands and pulled him down next to her, clinging to his hands, admiring how large and strong they were next to her tiny ones. How she missed his hands. “He’s affecting my GPA. He was supposed to be my partner on this project in art history class and he hasn’t shown up once. So imagine how pissed I was to find out why he hadn’t bothered to show up! He’s too privileged to! Then he had the nerve to be all...I don’t know…”
“Apologetic? Sorry that he had made you upset?”
“Yeah.”
“Well good. He should be apologetic! He should be on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness! The nerve of that guy! I’m glad that you made it known how mad you are at him! Stay that way!”
Trina just gave him a strange look. “Really, Spencer?”
“Really! Who does he think he is?! A prince? Please! You wouldn’t even let me get away with something like that! Why should he?”
“Right.”
“So why are you upset about being upset?”
Trina sighed and shrugged, her eyes still on their hands. His fingers were so long and perfect. He probably played the piano. He never had the chance to play for her and that thought hurt her heart even more. “It just... reminds me of...how I’d get upset at you!”
“Trina…”
A tear slid down her cheek. “I’d get upset at you and you’d look so chastened and I knew that you were sorry and he looked the same way and it just brought back how you used to look...and not to mention that he’s tall like you and...very handsome...like you were and…”
“You’re attracted to him,” Spencer sighed, his voice a little strained, obviously hiding any emotion that knowledge brought up.
“No! No, I’m not! I don’t know him! I don’t want to know him! I don’t even like him! So why would you think that I’m attracted to him?! Because he reminds me of you? Because trust. There are more things about him that are different from you and I hate him where I had never hated you!”
Spencer gave a sad chuckle. “You don’t hate him, baby. You just hate that you’re attracted to him. And it’s not that he reminds you of me...it’s just that...you probably have a type and he fits that. It’s ok if you’re attracted to him.”
“I don’t want to be attracted to him! I don’t want to feel anything about him at all! I love you!” Trina wailed, her tears now flowing freely as her grief took over. “I love you and I wanted a life with you and it’s been stolen from me and it’s not fair!”
Spencer pulled her into an embrace, rubbing her back gently. “I love you too and I wanted a life with you as well and no, it’s not fair that it was stolen from us. But it was and we just have to accept that. And for the record, attraction does not equal love...even though if given the chance, it could lead to that and...Trina...as much as this hurts me to say...I need you to promise that if an attraction does lead to that...you’ll accept it because, you deserve to be loved, Trina. You deserve to have a life with someone you love. It won’t be what we had...nothing can ever be what we had, but it can be something just as amazing if you allow it to be and I need you to promise me that you will. That you won’t let this grief close off your heart.”
“You want me to be in love with someone else?”
“Ideally, no. I would rather I be alive and well and we have that life together and we only love each other. But we don’t have that. I’m dead, Trina. My time is gone. But you still have a whole lot of life to live and I don’t want you living that life alone, holding on to the past. I want you to love again and have a full life with a loving partner and lots of babies and when you die an old woman, warm in her bed...I’ll be waiting.”
“I don’t want to love someone else.”
“I know, but you will. Love...it’s something that comes in all shapes and forms and you’ll find it again. It doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten what we had or you no longer love me. It just means that you’re ready to open your heart again, that’s all. As for this Trai guy…”
Trina laughed. “Kai. His name is Kai.
“Right. Well, it’s alright to be attracted to him and who knows...maybe it’ll lead to something...maybe it won’t...but if it does turn into something, he better be the best version of himself that he can be. Heck, he’ll want to, because being with you definitely made me want to be a better version of myself. It’s the Trina Robinson effect.”
“Come on. There were other reasons. Not just me.”
“You were the main reason. Even though it was indeed a turn-on to have you mad at me, I didn’t want to make it a habit. I wanted you to be proud of me as well.”
“And I was….I still am, so very proud of you Spencer. You were a good man and you were on your way to doing great things. I wish that you had the chance to find your passion. I really do.”
Spencer chuckled and rubbed his nose against her, smiling lovingly at her. “I did find my passion, Trina. My passion was you. It was always you.”
…..
Trina woke up with a start and was surprised to find herself just outside of the gym, where she had taken a seat and had drifted off to sleep, exhausted from the past few days. She frowned as she realized that she hadn’t woken up on her own. Someone had gently nudged her awake. Her frown deepened as she looked up to see the last person that she wanted to see. Kai.
“I’m sorry. I saw you were asleep and I didn’t feel right just leaving you like this. This isn’t the best area and I didn’t want anything to happen,” He lowered his voice and leaned forward. “I heard that the town’s mob boss owns this place.”
“He does. I know him, so you best leave me alone before I have him ice you,” Trina coldly threatened, getting to her feet.
“Ouch. I’m still in the dog house, huh?”
“And there you will remain,” was all Trina said as she walked away from him, leaving him to look chastened once again.
Shivering at a sudden blast of cold air, Kai frowned, thinking he heard someone laugh and say “That’s my girl.” He had to be hearing things. Sighing, he headed for his car, thinking of ways he could make things up to the girl that he just couldn’t stop thinking about.