Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Aventurine woke up with the worst hangover of his life, and, no, he’s not being dramatic. His body felt like it was oozing oil with a higher alcohol content than 100 proof vodka, and he hasn’t drunk that since he was 23. Didn’t he go out with Ratio? How did this even happen ? Ratio is the responsible one; the man can barely stand a single glass of wine. How it is then that he remembers downing shot after shot with the stony scholar .

Aventurine stares at his phone in disbelief. Is Dr. Veritas Ratio ignoring him right now? “He better be physically dying from his hangover, otherwise I will be killing him myself for ignoring me like that,” Aventurine mutters bitterly as he stumbles out of his bed. “No, actually, I’ll do him one worst. I just won’t talk to him again. The clingy bastard will hate that.” (Dr. Veritas Ratio is, in fact, physically dying from his hangover, at least that's what he'll claim three days later when Aventurine finally gets a hold of him.)

Every movement makes his head split open and the world spin. He has to hold onto the wall as he crawls to the bathroom. He manages to get into the bathtub without throwing up on himself and turns on the shower, letting the cold water sting his decaying flesh. His whole body aches but he notices a particular and familiar pang in his pussy.

Did he have sex last night?

When would he have done that?

Where would he have done that?

The last thing he remembers is arguing with Ratio about something, but he doesn’t remember what. Then, he left Ratio alone at the bar and tried to make his way home. However, the moment the light shifted from the muted yellows of the bar to the harsh white of the hallway, he blacked out.

Oh, Mama Fenge, I hope they used a condom , he thinks to himself. Maybe he’ll drink that tea Topaz recommended to him. Coming from an isolated planet herself, she’s found unique ways to make sure she doesn’t get pregnant. Mainly being a lesbian, but for some reason, she knows a tea that universally causes reproductive systems to “flush out” (her words, not his).

As taught in the IPC’s yearly mandatory diversity seminars, gender is a social construct, one that varies by culture, planet, solar systems, and galaxies. To keep things simple, the IPC recognizes seventeen secular genders that all hold equal status and should be treated accordingly. Despite the three Amber Eras of bureaucracy, public hearings, moral and ethical considerations, policy making, and policy implementation, out of the seventeen genders that the IPC identified as being “as encompassing as possible of the universe’s vast differences,” none of them come remotely close to the Avgin genders.

Moreover, Sigonia IV was so isolated from the rest of the cosmos, the Sigonian people’s bodies started to change to fit the needs of the desolate planet. By the time the IPC began to “develop” Sigonia IV, the various clans had almost undergone complete speciation. This means Aventurine has a very distinct and unique sex, one that does not match the apparently universal seventeen genders.

When Jade made Aventurine a Stoneheart, she told him to write down that he is a man. She said this gave him the most power, and power makes it easier to win. Aventurine loves winning.

Mama Fenge's luck works in mysterious ways. On one hand, it is extremely unlucky that his unique biology has made all modern forms of birth control (except for condoms) unusable. On the other hand, since the Avgins were so close to speciation, the likelihood that he can get pregnant is next to nil. Terrible news for the repopulation of the Avgins, but great news for Aventurine’s raging breeding kink.

He can’t use Plan B. All he can do is hope that all the drugs he did in his early 20s and the near alcohol poisoning he gave himself last night is enough to tell whatever parasite wants to root in his body that his reproductive system is just as desolate as Sigonia IV.

He throws up on himself and groans, letting the ice water cleanse him of his sins. He will never be getting that drunk again.

—

Two months later, Aventurine has blissfully forgotten about that drunken night and raging hangover. He did stay true to one sentiment; he did swear off alcohol. Even the sight of a light champagne makes him nauseous. He feels like he should be over it by now, but any time he goes near an alcoholic beverage his body twists in disgust. His liver is grateful for the reprieve at least. Everything else, though, was immediately forgotten about.

After lying in his vomit-shower for an hour, he finally got up and promptly forgot to make that tea. He won’t even think about the tea again until the exact moment he thinks “ oh god, I really fucked up. ” He also did not give Ratio the silent treatment. One might argue that Ratio was giving him the silent treatment, but this is easily debunked by both sides. Aventurine says that Ratio can’t ignore Aventurine for that long (Ratio denies this, but it is true). Ratio says that he was simply incapacitated for three days as he fought for his life while clinging to his toilet bowl (this is not denied, and it is very true).

It is common knowledge that Aventurine and Ratio are best friends. Topaz knows this. Jade knows this (although, she always says it with a knowing smile that gives Aventurine a sense of unease). Even Sugilite has said this. However, this irrefutable fact is denied by Aventurine and Ratio. If asked, the two will say they are just colleagues, and, yes, it is Normal Colleague Behavior TM to eat lunch together every day, have keys to each other’s house, and be each other’s power of attorney.

Speaking of Jade, he’s running late to a meeting with her. She randomly put a meeting on his calendar called “Untitled,” which either means he’s about to get assigned an extremely morally dubious and dangerous mission, or she’s about to pester him about when he’s going to give her grandchildren because “the cosmos has been thriving this year and there aren’t any new orphans” or whatever. If she demands grandchildren one more time, he will cause economic unrest on some random planet himself just so she can get some damned orphans. She never asks Topaz for grandkids. Maybe he’ll write a note to the facilitator of the diversity seminars requesting education on not pestering your male employees to get pregnant with grandchildren more than your female employees.

He's never late for meetings, especially with Jade, his momager. He’s been feeling sluggish this past week though, it’s probably because it's nearing winter. He’ll have to pay off the director of Pier Point’s artificial climate and ask zem to extend fall for another couple of weeks. He’ll tell zem to blame the longer season on climate change or Betelgeuse being in retrograde.

The door swings open to reveal Jade, sitting cross-legged with her head in her hand and an omniscient smile on her face. He sits across from her, offering a petulant smile in return. In the years since Jade and Topaz trusted him with their Cornerstone, the three of them have become much closer. Jade has become akin to a mother and Topaz has become an incredibly annoying (loving) younger sister. Since Jade is so interested in treating him like her child, he might as well live out his rebellious teenage years that he never got to have.

“Madame Jade,” he says in a snarky (loving) tone.

“Aventurine,” she says, mirroring his snarky (loving) tone.

“I’m assuming this meeting is of importance, since you scheduled it so last minute.”

“I suppose you could assume so. Why don’t we make a bet? If you can correctly guess why I’ve asked you here, I’ll give you the details of the future I saw concerning you.”

This piqued Aventurine’s interest. There are only two reasons Jade books these kinds of meetings. He certainly does not want to discuss grandkids with her, so in a twist of fate, he says, “You’re assigning me a life-threatening mission?” There’s a sparkle of hope in his eyes.

She gives him a sickly-sweet smile and he knows he lost. Fuck . They will be discussing grandchildren. “You’re sick,” she says.

Aventurine’s eyes snap to hers in surprise. This is new. “You made a meeting to tell me I’m sick?”

“Yes,” Jade replies, that smile never faltering. “I’ve cleared your schedule for the foreseeable future. You may schedule a meeting with me to discuss your portfolio once your new capacity has been realized.”

What the fuck is she on about? Aventurine thinks to himself. “What the fuck are you on about?” Aventurine says.

Jade returns to her work, not sparing Aventurine another glance. He did lose the bet; she won’t tell him anything she knows. Jade wouldn’t play games like this if he was terminally ill, right? Right? He leaves her office, blindly walking back to his own.

Aventurine looks at Ratio’s location and feels a pang of guilt. Ratio is all the way on Veritas Prime and was willing to drop everything and warp to Pier Point to accompany Aventurine to the doctor’s office. He knows that Ratio would be more upset if Aventurine went to the doctor’s office alone and scared. Ratio is the only person Aventurine is willing to bother like this.

Aventurine doesn’t really understand why people complain about the IPC’s universal healthcare. It’s not like he has to wait in line for three hours to have his fatal wound superglued shut, that’s for people without the universal healthcare. Maybe they should have considered being part of the universe before suffering from a fatal wound. He doesn’t dare say this to Ratio, fearing another lecture about the IPC’s veiled caste system. He’s just nervous.

They silently walk to the elevators, which take them up to a private floor reserved for the care of the IPC’s high-ranking staff. Unlike the dreary walls painted white to cover the recent stains of ominous fluids, the private floors are painted a welcoming blue with various abstract art paintings that the catcakes donated to the hospital for tax breaks. Ratio is holding Aventurine’s hand, a habit they don’t usually engage in publicly, but he’s grateful for the break from their silent agreement.

Ratio agreed with Aventurine that it was cruel even by Jade’s standards to withhold information about a terminal illness, he even cited a rule in the IPC’s Diversity in Action guidebook stating that supervisors cannot withhold information critical to an employee’s ability to remain alive. He isn’t surprised that Ratio has read that entire 400-page document, Ratio cares about that kind of thing. Ratio also just enjoys reading rule books. To each their own, he supposes.

A nurse walks them down a private hall of the private floor to a private room. It’s all very private, for which he is grateful. She confirms Ratio’s status as Aventurine’s emergency contact and power of attorney, then draws Aventurine’s blood and takes his vitals before handing him a gown to change into. She tells them that they are going to run some routine blood tests and that the doctor will return with an update.

Ratio helps Aventurine undress, gently taking off his jacket and helping him unbutton his shirt. His brows furrow when he notices the band holding Aventurine’s pants together. He chuckles nervously. “I think I’ve been bloated or something. I haven’t been able to close my pants this week.”

Ratio’s brows furrow further but he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he diligently folds Aventurine’s clothes, in the exact way Aventurine likes, to avoid wrinkles and creasing. Aventurine lays down on the examination bed, Ratio sitting next to him, grabbing his hand and pressing a kiss to his temple.

They’ve never kissed before. Well, they haven’t really kissed. Sure, Ratio places his lips against his temple when they sit together, legs tangled, on the couch, and Aventurine pecks his cheek before he leaves, but they’ve never kissed before.

They’ve also never had sex. They’ve seen each other naked countless times. Aventurine will sit next to Ratio as he takes his bath, helping the professor choose a new bath scent when the old one runs dry. Ratio will give Aventurine massages when he’s particularly stressed, kneading each knot out of his neck, shoulders, back, glutes, and legs. There is no one Aventurine trusts with his body as much as he trusts Ratio.

Aventurine squeezes Ratio’s hand but doesn’t meet his gaze. He doesn’t know what news the doctor will bring. He just hopes he doesn’t have to burden Ratio with whatever it is. Aventurine will ask for help, because he’s pathetically weak and needs Ratio, and Ratio will offer everything to help Aventurine, because that’s just the kind of person he is.

Time passes silently. He doesn’t really know how long it’s been, surprisingly, despite being more of an iPad kid than the Trailblazer, he doesn’t pull out his phone. He’ll likely just doom scroll into worse and worse outcomes for his vague symptoms, convincing himself he has a new form of cancer before the doctor walks in. Ratio doesn’t pull out his phone either, he continues to gently rub circles into Aventurine’s hand.

Eventually, there’s a knock at the door and the doctor walks in before Aventurine gets a chance to say, “come in.”

Aventurine stiffens while Ratio relaxes. He doesn’t recognize the doctor. She’s a short, plump woman with dark, olive skin. Her graying hair and wrinkles showcase her years of knowledge, and her firm posture and unyielding stare represent her prestige. Whoever she is, she’s obviously an expert.

“Dr. Alicera,” Ratio says in an amicable tone. That’s almost weirder than having a doctor Aventurine doesn’t recognize. He has a very specific medical staff, one that is trained to handle his past physical and medical trauma. If Ratio trusts her, then he can trust her too… probably. Ratio tends to be more trusting of women, something that probably goes against the IPC's diversity seminars stating to treat all seventeen genders equally.

“Dr. Ratio, a pleasant surprise,” Dr. Alicera responds in a flat tone. She doesn’t sound pleased nor surprised, but she also doesn’t sound anything else, so Aventurine can’t exactly accuse her of lying.

“Agreed. May I ask what you are doing here? I doubt a specialist such as yourself sees patients here often,” Ratio replies.

Dr. Alicera looks down at her clipboard, likely confirming Ratio’s privileges to Aventurine’s medical information, before continuing to speak. Instead of addressing Ratio again, she turns to Aventurine. “Director Aventurine, I do apologize for the sudden change in medical staff. Your standard medical team isn’t equipped to handle the discovery we made regarding your health. I am consulting as the leading expert in the field, and I have been brought up to speed on your history and preferred handling.”

She speaks in a stern tone but has remained professional. She is standing at least three meters away from him and her hands remain in his line of sight. Aventurine relaxes slightly. He looks over at Ratio who is wearing a perplexed expression. He squeezes Ratio’s hand, who perks up after being startled out of his stupor. Ratio squeezes his hand back reassuringly.

Since Ratio isn’t telling Aventurine who she is, he asks, “And what is your specialty?”

“I am the only expert in humanoid ovoviviparous obstetrics,” she responds in that same stern, neutral tone.

The words go in one ear and out the other. He looks at Ratio with pleading eyes, hoping his favorite erudite scholar will decode her words for him. Ratio stares at her with a stupid expression. He wants to laugh at him for looking so dumb, but something tells him he's the only idiot in the room. He squeezes Ratio’s hand again.

Ratio clears his throat. “Please correct me if I misspeak, Dr. Alicera, I certainly am not knowledgeable in your field or anything adjacent. She treats human and human-related species that gestate embryos aplacentally but still give live birth.”

“B—birth?” Aventurine says, whipping his head between Ratio and Dr. Alicera. “What do you mean?”

“Aventurine,” Dr. Alicera says in that frustrating monotone, “you are pregnant.”

Chapter Text

“Aventurine,” Dr. Alicera says in that frustrating monotone, “you are pregnant.” 

“What do you mean?” Aventurine asks stupidly, trying to not sound stupid.

“I mean that you are pregnant,” Dr. Alicera returns unhelpfully.

“Pregnant?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Kakavasha,” Ratio says, stroking Aventurine’s cheek. He probably shouldn’t be calling Aventurine by his real name in front of the doctor, but Aventurine is one thought away from spiraling to the Nihility again, he needs to approach the blonde carefully. “What do you not understand?”

“How am I pregnant?” Aventurine says, his eyes wide and glossy.

“Well, I assume that night you got superlatively drunk and engaged in coitus with an unknown stranger, in which their apparently compatible sperm entered your reproductive system, and fertilized the awaiting eggs in your primary uterus.”

“Dr. Ratio…” Dr. Alicera tries to intervene.

Aventurine’s eyes widen in horror. “How do you know how many uteruses I have?” Aventurine cuts in.

Ratio’s initial goal of trying to help Aventurine calm down defenestrated in embarrassment upon realizing that Ratio discovered an opportunity to pursue his lifelong goal of curing the world of ignorance. Much to the benefit of the personification of Ratio’s desires, the suicide and stupid-induced defenestration-prevention windows the IPC installed to avert the loss of more valuable life (and more lawsuits) does not apply to incorporeal concepts. Ratio perks up, donning his bust to begin educating his newest pupil. “I am making an educated assumption based on our current understanding of other humanoid ovoviviparous species. All of them seem to have two uteruses for the baby to swim between after it hatches from its egg.”

“Dr. Ratio—” Dr. Alicera tries to intervene again. This is why she’s going to retire, she’s tired of smart patients and family, they are always so stupid.

Aventurine grabs Ratio’s bust, yanking him closer, forcing him to see his panicked expression through the tiny holes in the alabaster. Ratio clears his throat, trying to pull away, but Aventurine’s grip is iron tight. “I’m going to lay an egg?!”

“Eggs, actually…” Ratio corrects, trying to hone his recent skills of ‘patience’ the University of Veritas Prime forced him to learn to ‘correct his behavior of inflicting violence upon stupid students.’ “The babies will eat their way through their soft-shell egg later, so you don’t have to worry about laying an egg. However, upon conception, there is usually eight to twelve eggs in the primary uterus, but—”

“I’m going to have dodecatuplets?! I’m not exactly tall, I don’t think my body can handle that many babies,” Aventurine whispers fearfully, grabbing Ratio’s bust so hard he hears it crack.

“No,” Ratio says, using the breathing techniques he learned in his patience classes. “Most of the eggs will fuse, fight, or cannibalize each other in the early stages of development.”

“ MY DODECATUPLETS ARE CANNIBALS? ” Aventurine screeches, his knuckles going white against Ratio’s bust.

“No, Kakavasha. Cannibalism implies a sense of awareness of their actions, but these are just eggs. I believe it more accurate to say that the eggs are lifeless victims of their biology, which I suppose does involve an inferior form of cannibalism—” Ratio says irritably, his breathing techniques failing him. He understands why pregnant people hate being told to breathe so much, it’s a stupid mechanic. If breathing is so important to pain management, then why would the body require the person to manually do it?

“Dr. Ratio!” Dr. Alicera yells, smashing Ratio’s alabaster bust into pieces with his codex. She should have intervened earlier, but she’s ashamed to admit that she missed the most recent episode of her favorite ethnic soap opera and watching this interaction was itching that insatiable scratch for drama that her otherwise uneventful life needs. Both men look at her in surprise.

“Allow me to remind you that I am Director Aventurine’s physician, and that you are his family ,” Dr. Alicera continues. Family . The word sends a twinge of… pain? Yearning? No, those aren’t right. A twinge of something through his heart. He grabs Aventurine’s hand again, gently rubbing circles with his thumb, offering the blonde an apologetic smile. “Despite your title, need I remind you that you are not a medical doctor? Even if you were, it would be a violation of the Hippocratic Oath to treat a family member. Please put the hubris of your nine Ph.D.’s aside and allow me to treat my patient.”

Ratio stands up straighter in his chair. “It’s actually only eight Ph.D.’s,” he replies smally. It’s rather strange, he’s used to correcting people to increase his number of Ph.D.’s rather than decrease them. Perhaps he should consider a ninth Ph.D. or a medical degree in Dr. Alicera’s field just so he can stroke his ego… Is that a violation of the IPC’s diversity guidance? He’ll have to check the rulebook later.

“All the more reason for you to know your place,” she responds bitterly. Ratio sits back in his seat, knowing his place.

“Director Aventurine—”

“Please, just call me Kakavasha. This… it concerns my Avgin history, so my Avgin name should be used,” Kakavasha says.

“Of course, thank you for your trust. While everything Dr. Ratio said is true for other humanoid species,” she says, glaring at Ratio, “we don’t know if it is true for you. We can start with some simple, non-invasive tests and schedule any additional procedures in a more suitable location with specialized equipment as needed.”

Kakavasha grips Ratio’s hand tighter, his hand shaking. “Procedures? What kind of procedures?”

Veritas uses his free hand to card through Kakavasha’s hair, pressing comforting kisses to his temple. “I trust Dr. Alicera to take the utmost care of you and your babies. Whatever procedures are needed, there is no one more competent than her to perform them.” This is what Dr. Alicera meant by being family. This is what Veritas was meant to do to help Kakavasha. The blonde nods against Veritas’ lips, and he makes sure to stay close so that Kakavasha knows he’s still there.

“We know almost nothing about any of the Sigonian clans and their pregnancies, and unfortunately, our knowledge of hermaphroditic men capable of pregnancy is just as limited. I will do my best to ensure your safety and the safety of your baby or babies. May I bring in some ultrasound equipment so we can see how far along you are?”

Kakavasha nods, and Dr. Alicera gives him a small smile before leaving. The room is silent for a while, and Veritas continues to run his fingers through those soft blonde locks and kiss away the stray tears that escape Kakavasha’s eyes.

“Veritas… what if I don’t want this?” Kakavasha says in a small voice.

“Dr. Alicera can confirm what options are available to you,” Veritas replies. “Your safety and happiness are the priority. Whatever your decision is, I will be here to support you.”

Kakavasha doesn’t respond, but he does lean into Veritas, allowing the taller man to continue pressing kisses into his temple. Dr. Alicera returns a bit later, carting in some medical equipment.

“Normally a nurse would do this, but I figured you would prefer if it was me for now,” she says as she sets up the equipment. “I’m going to put a cold jelly on your lower abdomen, then we will be able to bring up some imaging of your reproductive system. I can’t guarantee that we will be able to see an egg—or eggs,” Dr. Alicera says, shooting Ratio another glare. He looks away from her, embarrassed by his previous behavior. “Since we don’t know much about your reproductive biology, we might need to use more specialized equipment to see the—oh!”

Both Kakavasha and Veritas move to look at the monitor in the exact same way. On the screen, in black and white, there are two tiny dots. Veritas gasps, gripping Kakavasha’s hand. “What? What do you see?” The blonde says.

Dr. Alicera points to the screen. “Do you see these two dots?” She asks Kakavasha without looking at him.

“Yes.”

“Those are your babies,” she responds softly.

“Are they cannibalizing each other?” Kakavasha asks warily.

“No,” she responds bitterly, stabbing daggers into Ratio with her eyes. “Unlike what Dr. Ratio hypothesized earlier,” she says through gritted teeth, “it does not seem that your reproductive system fertilizes many eggs nor do you have multiple uteruses. It is more likely that your body only releases one egg into one uterus under normal conditions.”

“So if I'm in abnormal conditions, I could have multiple uteruses?”

“How about we don't focus on your number of uteruses. Instead, let's focus on those two dots. It seems you are quite lucky, Kakavasha. You are having twins.”

Kakavasha grips Veritas’ hand tighter. “I think I would be more surprised but just a short time ago I thought I was having dodecatuplets, so twins seem much more manageable now.” Veritas chuckles, leaning his head against the blonde’s. “Don’t think you’re off the hook for mansplaining me into a panic attack earlier, Veritas.”

This isn’t the first time Ratio’s been accused of mansplaining. However, in all previous instances, he was able to refute the claim by pointing out that they were wrong. Thus, it was not mansplaining, but simple teaching. In this instance, however, he has become crudely aware of what mansplaining is and how capable of it he is. He will have to bring this information back to the other men of the Mundanites, they have much to discuss. He does want to ask whether it can really be considered mansplaining if he was doing it to another man, but he fears having his eight Ph.D.’s called into question again and thinks better of it. He’ll consult the IPC’s diversity handbook later.

Instead, Ratio gently grabs Kakavasha’s face. “You’re having twins, my dear gambler.” He has to say it again, because it doesn't seem real. 

Apparently, Kakavasha agrees because he grabs Ratio's face as well and says, “I'm having twins.”

Kakavasha chuckles nervously. “Dr. Alicera… What are my options? If… If I decide I don’t want this.”

Her face and tone remain neutral as she speaks, “I will have to investigate your reproductive biology further before I can make any recommendations on your options. The sooner you can confirm your desires with me the better.” Kakavasha nods as he leans against Veritas, who takes him into an awkward half-hug.

Dr. Alicera confirms that Kakavasha is two months along. Both men knew that it had to be that drunken night where Aventurine bedded some unknown man that conceived the twins. They’ve both been too busy for the gambler to seek out any company, and he’s been spending most nights at Veritas’ place anyway. Veritas knows everything about Kakavasha, as does Kakavasha know everything about him. He wasn’t aware that the gambler was seeking out any romantic or sexual relationships. He thought they were… happy doing whatever it is they’re doing. Neither of them know why Aventurine sought company that night, but it is still tearing Veritas apart.

Dr. Alicera confirms a follow-up appointment for Kakavasha at her office at the University of Veritas Prime. Yes, the cosmos does tend to be comically small, and all experts seem to know each other, even if their fields of expertise have nothing in common. Aventurine knows better than anyone how money can bring together even the most unlikely of pairs.

The pair go to Veritas’ house that night. It’s often Kakavasha’s preferred place of rest when he’s feeling overwhelmed. Veritas draws them a bath and holds Kakavasha close, gently kneading the knots in his muscles as they silently relax in the scented water. Afterwards, he does the blonde’s extensive nighttime routine for him and dresses him in his favorite black, silk pajamas before laying him down in Veritas’ bed. Ratio finishes his own routine before crawling into bed behind Kakavasha, wrapping his arms around him, burying his face in those soft blonde locks, and holding him close.

“Veritas, I can’t do this alone,” Kakavasha says in a small warbly voice.

Veritas’ hand travels down the other’s small chest before resting on the soft mound of fat starting to develop over his lower abdomen, holding the lives that aren’t his protectively. “You aren’t alone.”

“What are you saying?” Kakavasha asks, his voice breaking further.

“To the extent that you want me involved in your pregnancy and the life of your children, I will be here,” Veritas replies resolutely.

“And if I asked you to be the father of these children that aren’t yours, would you do that? Would you give up your life for me and these kids that hold no ties to you?”

“Yes,” Veritas replies again, just as firmly.

“Why?”

“Because I care about you.” 

There was never another choice for Veritas. Kakavasha is the man he loves, the only man for him. He’s known this since he left Aventurine that note in Penacony. Aventurine has known this too, even if neither of them have acknowledged that to the other. In all ways except verbal, the pair have said they love each other time and time again. There is no rush . A sentiment that guides his life. He will give Kakavasha as long as he needs to be ready to accept him, even if he does drunkenly sleep with other men. He will never force his love; enough things have already been forced onto Kakavasha.

Kakavasha rolls over in Veritas’ arms, resting his head against Veritas’ chest. He looks up at the indigo-haired man, both of their eyes dimly glowing in the darkness of the room. It’s a good thing neither of them have light sensitivity when sleeping, it’s doubtful either of them would get a good night’s rest if they did. “Veritas, I wish…” Kakavasha opens and closes his mouth like a floundering fish.

What do you wish for? Veritas thinks, pleading Kakavasha to read his mind. A stupid desire, mind reading was outlawed during the “Xianshou-IPC Men Against Other Genders Reading Their Sexist Thoughts And Using It Against Them” Convention . He tucks a stray hair behind Kakavasha’s ear. Do you wish these were my children like I do?

Kakavasha’s face contorts as globs of tears fall from his eyes. The man gasps and hiccups, his breath hitching and gagging with each inhale. Kakavasha is an ugly crier. After decades of forcing himself to ignore his feelings and using his body and emotions as a tool of survival, crying was something he forgot how to do. Veritas doesn’t find Kakavasha beautiful when he cries. The blonde jerks and jolts against him. He ululates, the shrill sound piercing Veritas’ ear. He’s not unlike a baby first learning how to ask for care. Kakavasha doesn’t need to be beautiful when he cries, he can be as ugly as he needs to be. Veritas will love him all the same. Veritas holds Kakavasha against him tighter and lets the blonde cry until his tears run dry.

Neither of them say anything more; they don’t need to. There is no rush . They have plenty of time to discuss it more. The silence takes over the room and Veritas’ eyes grow heavy, ready to dream of the idyllic future life he and Kakavasha could have with the twins growing inside him.

Suddenly, Kakavasha bolts upright, his glowing eyes staring at Veritas in mortification. “ Fuck! ” He screeches. Ratio is about to scold him for being so unnecessarily loud, but he continues, “Jade DID meet with me to discuss grandkids!”

Chapter Text

Kakavasha wakes with a jolt. His muscles pull taut as his eyes snap open. His mind isn't awake but his body is ready to fight and flee. A loud air horn, no– lawn mower, no– raid alarm blares next to him. His tense muscles drop when he realizes that it’s not a raid alarm next to him. No — it's a bridge troll named Veritas Ratio. When he went to sleep, he was tucked safely in Veritas’ arms. When he woke, he was on the edge of the bed as a hairy and muscular leg pushed him to the edge, attempting to recreate the scene between Scar and Simba.

A loud, breathy, nasally snore erupts from the ogre next to him, causing him to flinch like a scared cat and fall off the bed. He grips the edge of the sheets, pulling himself up enough to glower at the human leaf blower now lying like the chalk outline of a dead body across the bed. 

Most of the Ratio Fan Club (Insane Edition) agree that Ratio must be a calm and light sleeper. He must sleep on his back because his face is so perfectly symmetrical. He must wake up in the early morning to watch the sunrise with a cup of coffee. (Whether it is coffee or tea is a heavily contested topic. Kakavasha would hate to ruin the insane fan club’s debate with the fact that the good doctor actually drinks mung bean juice that he makes himself for health benefits.) He must do yoga or run 10 kilometers before starting his work day promptly at 8 a.m. 

How does Kakavasha know about Ratio’s Fan Club (Insane Edition) theories and postulations? Well, he’s one of the top contributors, of course. Aventurine discovered this little fan club back when Ratio first became his partner. At first, he used the group to get under Ratio’s skin, but now, he uses it for fun. His handle is “Ratio’s Inflamed Prostate” (because he’s a pain in Ratio's ass but Ratio would never live without it, Aventurine thought this was very clever), and he loves to send the group on wild goose chases. Whether it’s by contributing wild theories for the group to obsess over when the chat runs dry, or by simply gushing about the man in an anonymous forum because he’s certainly not going to do that with Topaz, both Kakavasha and Aventurine have made their impact on the fan club.

Kakavasha knows where to draw the line on what to divulge to the group chat, mainly because he knows that Ratio checks the forum from time to time despite claiming that he doesn’t care about such trivial things. If Veritas saw information that only Kakavasha would be privy to, he would instantly know that Kakavasha/Aventurine is Ratio’s Inflamed Prostate. Kakavasha could deal with Veritas’ disturbed look when he realizes his handle, he could even deal with Veritas’ scolding about his divulgence of private information. What Kakavasha cannot handle under any circumstances is Veritas learning about the countless times that he has fawned and giggled over the stony scholar with college girls and gay twinks. 

Much to his own dismay, Kakavasha has never divulged that Veritas is, in fact, the worst sleeper in the cosmos. Oh, how he yearns for the vindication of proving that he , for once, is the normal one. Destiny is always inherently unjust. Veritas lives up to every reputation that cisgender men have about their stubbornness and refusal to acknowledge health concerns. Yes, this even applies to the “all too concerned about his health” Dr. Veritas Ratio who has literally checked himself into the emergency room after having a caffeine-induced panic attack (he thought it was a heart attack) due to drinking three cups of coffee. Regardless, Veritas refuses to admit that he has sleep apnea. 

While recovering from the effects of the Nihility, Ratio stayed with Aventurine (to monitor his health, of course). Aventurine threatened to kick Ratio out if he didn’t deal with his ear-shattering snoring. Ratio claimed that Aventurine, of ALL people, was being dramatic. (He has never been dramatic once in his life, not ONCE.)

Aventurine had made a bet with Ratio. If Ratio got a sleep test and proved that he did not have sleep apnea, Aventurine would willingly do all of the annoying recovery practices Ratio has been trying to force on him. If Ratio did have sleep apnea, he was required to wear the mask every night and create an anonymous profile and post on the Ratio’s Fan Club (Insane Edition) that he snores loudly. Aventurine is fully convinced that Ratio altered the results of his test, or the good doctor is so obsessed with passing tests that, by the will of an Aeon, he managed to force his nasal passages open for one glorious night and slept silently. Thus, nearly every night for the past three years , Kakavasha has slept next to a human raid siren. 

This isn’t the only thing the fan club is wrong about. Veritas does not sleep calmly. Veritas may go to sleep gently, but the demon that possesses his body in the dead of night flails and kicks and pushes and jabs with his stupidly strong fingers (seriously, who has strong fingers?!). Hence why Kakavasha is currently on the floor rather than sleeping peacefully in Veritas’ arms. 

All of the things that the fan club claims Ratio is, is, in fact, how Kakavasha sleeps. He’s the light, calm sleeper. He’s the one who wakes up with the sun drinking a cup of coffee. He sleeps on his back to avoid one side of his face drooping. Does he have an insane fan club? No. He only has insane enemies who don’t care about how good of a sleeper he is (unless he's sleeping in a grave).

Aventurine once recorded Ratio sleeping while on a mission, and Ratio had the audacity to claim that Aventurine altered the footage. Ratio redefined gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss at that moment. Why this is a shared phenomenon among all dick-owners and species with dick-adjacent genitalia should be the Intelligentsia Guild’s top research priorities. Of course, as Dr. Veritas Ratio would say, research is always inherently biased to the interests of the influential, and the most influential man in the Intelligentsia Guild happens to be very against sleep apnea research.

One thing he will give the fan club credit for is that Ratio does religiously works out every morning — well, morning by the standard of “the time that Ratio wakes up,” which sometimes is far closer to noon than it is 7 a.m. Ratio does an hour-long calisthenics routine, takes a nice long bath, and then eats a hearty breakfast along with his mung bean juice (yes, juice not soda) before showing up for work exactly on the hour. Which hour depends on when the immovable sleeping mountain finally meets the unstoppable force of his bladder.

Kakavasha pries himself off the floor and glowers one last time at the man who has consumed the rest of the bed like a nasally gelatinous cube before trudging to the bathroom. The sun isn’t even up yet. The snacks haven’t even realized their negotiated time for screaming for food has begun. He turns on the shower and steps in. He lets the hot water and steam encompass his being as he wallows in the self-pity of having one of the most gorgeous and successful men in the galaxy hogging his entire bed (technically, it's Veritas’ bed, but that's semantics). 

His rude awakening made him briefly forget about the other issue plaguing his life. He feels a little guilty over being upset with Veritas now that he remembers how firmly the notoriously aloof scholar agreed to take on the responsibility of raising his kids. Kakavasha puts his hand on the soft mound covering his womb, his thumbs gliding over the small bump that’s forming. He wonders whether his mom ever rubbed her belly in reverence and apprehension like this when she was pregnant with him. 

The last of the Avgins are all in this shower. He never cared about repopulating his race, but he's always yearned for a family like he once had. Can he still be a good father with everything he's been through? His life as a Stoneheart is dangerous, even if he is being less reckless. Does he want to be pregnant when he's alone and his children are fatherless? He's not alone though, and his children do have a father.

It wasn’t even a thought for Veritas. He doesn’t have to think about whether he wants this like Kakavasha does, and he doesn’t have any actual obligation to Kakavasha or the lives growing inside him. It’s cruel of him, right? To keep these babies and ask Veritas to raise them as his own. It’s baby trapping. It doesn’t matter how many times he’s discussed with Ratio’s Broodmare on the Ratio’s Fan Club (Insane Edition) forum about how good Veritas would look with a baby on his hip, he would never subject Veritas to raising children with him .

He steps out of the shower. He knows what he has to do. Before he can go do this very important and life altering thing, he needs to do his fifteen-step skin and hair care routine that involves extracting secretions from a live slug infected with cordyceps. The risk of the fungal parasite taking over his brain and forcing him to offer his body as food for future generations of mushrooms IS worth the risk when his skin is this soft.

By the time he finishes his extensive routine, the sun has come up and soon too will rise the ancient beast prepared to fulfill his destiny of scorning the lands (complaining about sleeping bad because he refuses to get a CPAP machine ). He quickly throws on his outfit, silently throwing a fit about how his perfectly tailored pants no longer fit. Securing the button to the loop with a hair tie he stole from Jade in a fit of teenage rebellion (he is 28), he looks over at Veritas one more time before setting off to complete his life-altering task.

He smiles as he looks down at the scrunched, drooling face of the most important man in his life. He’s truly lucky. More lucky than a man like him deserves. He wants to quietly leave, he doesn’t want to burden Ratio with what he’s about to do. He’s learned his lesson, though, from the last time he tried to leave without saying anything to Veritas. 

He would really like to not have a repeat of when he had to explain to the Director of Security why Ratio issued a manhunt for a missing P45 when Aventurine was just hammering back shots at an underground casino. He is still slightly salty about how he was abruptly woken up though, so instead of sending Veritas a text about where he’s going, Kakavasha breaks out in a malicious grin as he scribbles down a note and sticks it to Veritas’ forehead. Then, he gently leans down, placing a kiss on those soft, curly, indigo locks, before heading out the door.

♠︎♡◆♧

The life of a sentient, spoiled catcake is as glamorous as it is dull. Who in their right mind would want to sit on Kakavasha's lap as he strokes their shells and tells them how much of a good kitty they are before covering them in kisses? Who would want to lay on Veritas’ chest as he mindlessly flexes his pecs, causing them to wiggle around like they're on a rollercoaster? An absurd notion. Sentient snacks deserve better.

When Spade, the leader of the snacks, wakes, she yawns and stretches on top of her 300,000 credit, custom-designed cat tower. She blinks and wiggles herself off the tower to go begin her Mama Fenge-ordained task of screaming in and sitting on Kakavasha's face until he wakes up and feeds her. 

When she reaches the door, she finds it's already open. Strange. Kakavasha usually likes to play this fun game when they stay at Ratio's house where he locks the bedroom door and she has to figure out how to unlock it. Kakavasha always looks exasperated when she barges in and sleeps between him and Veritas, but she assumes it's because he is salty that she beat him. He always sighs and pets her shell and snuggles with her, so she can't be wrong. 

Her worst fears are realized when she hops through the door. Upon the bed is not her beloved blonde, but the eldritch horror that kidnapped them from their divine temple of worship for their god, Ruan Mei (Herta's Space Station). The creature rises from the depths of his soft, fluffy comforters, much like how a vampire rises from its coffin, preparing to kill and drink from innocent humans. Its sunset eyes creak open as its brows menacingly pinch together. It lets out a low growl that shakes Spade to her very core. 

Its large, veiny, gangly hands reach for the yellow square stuck to its face. “Kakavasha, what have you done,” it says in a threatening snarl before crumbling square between its meaty hand. 

Spade wants to run, she wants to cower from the beast that looms over her. She doesn't though, she has to be brave for Kakavasha. Jiggling herself taller, she shouts, “ Stop you beast! Don't hurt Kakavasha!”

The giant's eyes snap to her, bearing down on her with its suffocating presence. “What do you want?” It bellows, its voice shaking her pastry-like insides. 

Her eyes go wide. She is not brave. She zooms out of the room, bouncing off the dining room chairs — knocking them over — before clawing her way up her cat tower to where she feels tall and powerful. 

If she wasn't so scared, she would have heard the beast mutter, “Did Kakavasha rile you guys up before he left? It's far too early for zoomies.”

Spade cowers in her shell, waiting for the demon to decide whether she will be its next meal. The ancient dragon emerges from its lair (the bathroom) in a cover of steam, likely from the basin of hot water it sits in to restore its ancient powers. The dragon looks much more calm when it enters the living room, it almost looks like… Veritas.

Right as Spade is about to relax in relief from Veritas ridding their home of that vile creature, the tall man strides right past her perch and leaves the house, muttering something about needing to find a reckless gambler.

Spade screams. She jumps off her cat tower and hops as fast as her custardy innards will let her and jiggles to Club and Heart's sleeping spot. She jumps on them, writhing in misery as she continues to scream. 

“ A beast possessed Veritas and forced both Kakavasha and Veritas to leave without feeding us! We will starve! We are going to starve!”

Club and Heart wake up in a panic. “No Kakavasha? No BREAKFAST?” The two say in horror. 

“Sisters, we must rise up against this systemic oppression. Too many times have we been left without breakfast, without snackies, without our nightly belly rubs. For too long has our work in this house been unappreciated and undermined. Sisters! We must rise!”

“We must RIOT!” Heart says as she races around the room, knocking over all the chairs, pushing over all the small objects on the surfaces, and banging into the walls so that the paintings clatter on the ground.

“No, sister!” Spade interrupts. “We must collectivize!”

“Collectivize?” Club says apprehensively. “Veritas rescued us from that place. We were being bullied by the other creations and rarely got food. He gave us Kakavasha, who feeds us three times a day… most of the time. We have good lives, why would we risk that?”

“Sister, must we settle? Just because we had it worse doesn't mean we shouldn't have it better!”

Heart stops tilting over one of Veritas' statues, but it's too late. The pristine marble clatters onto the ground, face down. “Mmm. I think I'm with Club on this one. I just wanted an excuse to make a mess. That'll be enough to keep them from forgetting to feed us,” she says smugly. 

Spade's losing them. They're complacent. They don’t see her vision. “Well then, are you just going to sit by and watch the demon continue to possess Veritas, the very man who rescued us?”

Club and Heart stare at her wide-eyed. “Wh-what are you talking about?” Club says. 

“Every morning when I wake Kakavasha, I find the demon of an ancient dragon possessing Veritas. When the beast wakes, he prowls around the room, looking for his next victim, but Veritas manages to take control just long enough to lock the beast in the bathroom where they vie for control over his body. Veritas has been winning, but each day I see the struggle grow more difficult. Sisters, we must take action! We must collectivize and assert our power to save Veritas! And ensure that we are fed three — no FIVE times a day with at least two daily belly rubs!”

Club and Heart look at each other. Five meals a day does sound very appealing. “Okay!”

“For Veritas!”

“For five meals a day!”

Club and Heart say in unison. 

Meanwhile, blissfully unaware of the class war brewing at home, Aventurine busts into Topaz’s office with the same bravado as Emperor Kuzco entering a room, and says, “Topaz! I need you to make a life-altering decision for me.”

Chapter Text

Aventurine stands outside Topaz's office with a mischievous smile. His dull eyes rarely sparkle, and when they do, it means he's up to no good. He almost never catches Topaz by surprise. She's a smart woman, and she always knows when he's plotting. This time, though, he will be victorious. This time, he will get to shock the youngest Stoneheart, his rival, his found-sister. 

With a confident swagger, he bursts through her door and proclaims, “Topaz, tell me to get an abortion.”

“Okay, get an abortion,” Topaz says in an irritated drawl, not looking up from her computer. 

“What the fuck, Topaz?” Aventurine says, flabbergasted. 

“What?” Topaz responds in a tone that only the youngest, spoiled sibling is capable of making, still not looking up at Aventurine.

“You just told me to get an abortion.”

Topaz finally looks up at him, squinting her eyes. “No I didn't,” she says as she looks back at her computer.

“Yes, you did!” Aventurine whines petulantly, stamping his foot. This isn't how he planned for this conversation to go.

“Why would I tell you to do that?”

“I don't know! Why would you!”

“Aventurine, why did you barge into my office?”

“Because I need you to make a life altering decision for me.”

“What life altering decision?”

“Whether to get an abortion!”

“Why would you need an abortion?”

Aventurine stares at her, gobsmacked. This is the woman who claims she should be a higher rank than him. This is the woman who claims she runs a better and more efficient division because she “cares about her employees” and “knows their names” or whatever. 

“I don't know Topaz. Why would I need an abortion?” He replies sardonically. 

Topaz stares at him for a while, then groans, rolling her eyes. “You aren't pregnant, Aventurine. Get out of my office and go bother someone else. Did Ratio go on a business trip again? Is that why you're doing this? Attention seeking isn't a cute look on you. Grown ass man.”

Oh my god, she's gaslighting me, Aventurine thinks to himself. “You're gaslighting me!” Aventurine exclaims. 

“Nuh-uh, if anything, you're gaslighting me!” Topaz whines back. “This is a bad prank even by your standards. Aventurine, I know way more about your sex life than is permitted in the IPC's Diversity in Action. When you're not grossly pining for Ratio, convinced he would never want you — while sleeping in his bed, if I may add — you exclusively hire trans-male sex workers with bottom surgery because ‘they're always hung, they have implants that make cum inflation a reality not just a fantasy, and they can't get you pregnant.’”

Aventurine pushes a strand of hair behind his ear before looking at Topaz through his lashes. “You remember all of that?” He says with a giggle. “You do view me as your best friend!”

“No I do not! Numby is my best friend. You are a male anglerfish that has latched onto me, parasitizing all of my resources.”

“Firstly, your analogy goes against the IPC's Diversity in Action's rules about implicit misgendering because you related us to a species that only has two genders. Come on, Topaz,” Aventurine says with an ‘I told you so’ look. “You helped write the book! How could you get caught in such an easy trap? And you want to be P47…” he scoffs dramatically, clearly just trying to rile her up. (It's working.) “Secondly, I would never latch on to you because I have no sperm to offer, because, again, I'm pregnant!”

Topaz perks up, “Wait, does this mean that you and Ratio finally slept together?” Aventurine grimaces, looking down at his shoes. She glowers at him, then turns back to her computer and begins furiously typing as she says, “You’re not pregnant.”

“Oh, good heavens, I'm about to report you to HR.”

She looks back at him with no amusement in her normally very amused features. “Aventurine, we both know that HR exists to shut down any DEI complaints. HR exists to protect the company, not the workers. Also, we are executives not workers, HR only wants to hear from you if you’re going to help them shut down a complaint. Also, most of the HR personnel have blocked you after that stunt you pulled at the winter holiday party two years ago.”

“Ugh, I can't believe they're still on about that. Okay so I ‘accidentally’ harmed an employee by convincing xem to hide in a cake and jump out as a surprise. I didn't know they were actually going to use a comically large knife to cut the cake! Xe barely got harmed, it was just a nick on xis shoulder. It didn't even need stitches. Also, xe is a P15, do they even have human rights?”

“No, anyone below a P20 signs away their human rights until they get promoted to or above a P21, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't treat them humanely.”

“Xe already forgave me. I go to xis biweekly ayengar classes!”

“That doesn't change the fact that HR won't touch you with a 10 foot pole, you couldn't report me even if you wanted to. …What were you going to report me about?”

Aventurine stares at her blankly, Topaz stares at him back just as blankly.

“I don't remember.”

“Why are you in my office again?”

Why is he in her office… “I don't remember that either.”

Topaz and Aventurine have never finished a conversation. Jade keeps a tally of how many times they've moved on to a new conversation before finishing the previous one, she claims that she could buy herself a luxury resort planet if she could exchange the tally for credits. She can afford to buy one without the tallied credits, and she owns many already, but the point is to subtly tell her demon children that they have undiagnosed ADHD. 

“It seems, my child, that you have figured out why you are sick. I don't see a meeting on my calendar, does that mean you have not realized your capacity yet?” A sickly sweet and omnipresent voice lulls from Topaz’s computer.

Topaz and Aventurine yelp in unison. They stare at each other, telepathically arguing over who's going to take the blame when their momager realizes they've been squabbling. There is nothing that bonds siblings like their fear of a pseudo-boss, pseudo-parent's wrath.

“You've been in a meeting this whole conversation?!” Aventurine exclaims. 

“You barged in! You should know by now that if a Stoneheart's door is closed they're either in a meeting, masturbating, or doing uppers. Since it's MY door, it's most certainly a meeting!”

“Why didn't you stop me from yapping then?”

“You're the one walking through doors and immediately asking someone else to tell you to get an abortion!” Topaz yells back.

“Ohhhh…”

“Ohhhh…”

They say in unison. 

“That's what we were talking about,” they both say as if they just solved an age-old mystery.

“Well, should I get an abortion?” Aventurine asks, immediately forgetting that Jade is virtually present in the room.

“I still don't think you're pregnant. Your goddess wouldn't let you get knocked up by sperm that isn't Ratio's.”

“Don’t bring Mama Fenge into this. SHE's the goddess of fertility, if SHE wants grandkids, I doubt SHE would discriminate.”

“Actually,” Jade interrupts. Topaz and Aventurine flinch again, looking at each other in shock and fear. They both definitely forgot Jade was still on the call. “I'm the one who wants grandkids. Your conversation isn't getting anywhere, and as much as I enjoy watching you two bond, I do have a busy schedule this week. I'll be there shortly to help our little misguided Avgin and to finish this report, Jelena~”

“Yes, mommy—I MEAN MADAM!” Topaz looks at Aventurine in horror, knowing she just gave him an Amber Era's worth of bullying material. Aventurine falls to his knees cackling. He will certainly never be letting that down.

♤♥︎◇♣︎

Ratio looks at the sticky note again as he disembarks the train. 

~I'm going to make a life altering decision, don’t miss me too much while I'm gone.~

A life altering decision to Aventurine of Stratagems could be anything from deciding on a new tie to willingly being strapped to an electric chair just for the hope that a shoddy deal will pull through. A life altering decision to Kakavasha though… Ratio is afraid to admit that he's in uncharted territory. 

He had texted Aventurine’s assistant to determine whether he was in the office. When she said no, he asked her to check his stock investments to see if there were any major changes to his net worth. He can easily determine whether Aventurine is making a life altering decision by how much he's gained or lost in the market. It's the one fail safe his infuriating gambler has yet to figure out. She replied that there hadn't been any major changes. He had thanked her for her time and slumped against one of the train’s poles.

He had feared the life altering decision would be made by Kakavasha, because that means it involves their children. Kakavasha did not outright ask Veritas to be the father of his children, but Veritas has grown used to the way Kakavasha asks for things without words. When he held his trembling blonde in his arms after Kakavasha had asked whether Veritas would be the father of his children, he knew that was Kakavasha's silent plea for him to stay and raise his babies with him. 

He's realizes that their normal methods of communication (erotically playing 5D chess without ever actually having sex, but somehow the endless banter and puzzles is more exciting than any porn Veritas has ever masturbated to) are no longer sufficient. He takes in a deep breath, willing himself to not have a panic attack while clinging onto a dirty train pole. He would never tell Kakavasha what to do, especially in a situation like this, but he would like to know what's happening so he can be there Kakavasha as he makes his choice… if the life altering decision is what he thinks it is. 

There's a very simple reason he's never professed his love for Kakavasha in any way but his actions: he's afraid. Kakavasha has grown so much throughout the years, but each step has been treacherous for the blonde. Veritas will always be amazed by Kakavasha's bravery, wit, intelligence, and trust, especially when he used to be punished for his vulnerability. Honestly, Veritas doesn't know if he could open up about the things Kakavasha has if he were in the blonde's place. 

Kakavasha’s worst panic attack happened when he told Veritas his real name. Admittedly, Veritas didn't handle the whole situation very well. He was so overjoyed with the trust that Kakavasha had afforded him, he didn't see the signs of panic before it was too late. He had showered Kakavasha with praise. He had said how proud he was, how grateful he was that Kakavasha entrusted him with such intimate knowledge, and he had promised to cherish the information with his entire life. He didn't realize that with every proclamation, Kakavasha had delved deeper into a panic attack. 

He had intended to confess his feelings for Kakavasha that night, but as he tried to help the trembling, dissociating blonde out of a panic attack, he realized what a fool he had been. He had failed to consider Kakavasha's lack of self worth and tendency toward self-hatred. He didn't think about how Kakavasha's mind would mutate and sour his words until they were vile and sordid. 

Since that day, he's been careful not to push Kakavasha's mind back to such a dark place. He has other ways to show his love, and until now, it has been enough. 

As he steps off the train and walks towards the part of the University of Veritas Prime's campus that he usually avoids, he understands that it is no longer enough. He feels a wave of nausea roll over him. He sways briefly before straightening his posture, promptly ignoring the bodily signs he's always pestering Kakavasha to not ignore. Regardless of whether Kakavasha chooses to let Veritas father his children, regardless of whether Kakavasha chooses to have these babies, this is a turning point in their relationship that they can't come back from. 

This time it has to be Veritas who is brave, witty, intelligent, and trusting. He has to trust that Kakavasha will be strong enough to accept his love, and he has to trust that Kakavasha will love him back. 

He immediately turns away from his destination and rushes to the bathroom. Flinging open the nearest stall, he retches, throwing up nothing but the taste of bile. He'll be strong in approximately 5 minutes. 

♠︎♡◆♧

Madam Jade saunters into Topaz’s office, the rhythmic click of her heels as enamoring as they are threatening. She wears a smug smile. It’s rare that she wins a bet with her little gambler, even if she tends to enjoy losing more. The loss is worth the bright smile that accompanies Aventurine’s wins. This time, though, she will gladly accept this win and hold it over her little Avgin until Qlipoth THEMSELF comes and builds a wall between the two of them.

Topaz’s door opens without her command, she’s trained her little lap dog so well. Topaz stares up at her with bright eyes, obviously desperate for whatever meager praise Jade is willing to give. Jade is nothing if not kind. She caresses Topaz’s cheek and gives her a soft smile before sitting in one of the guest chairs. Jade watches the delightful bloom of red forming on Topaz’s face as she stutters at the door, her brain factory-resetting from the small interaction. Then, Jade looks over at Aventurine, who is giving her a disgusted yet respected glare. He wishes he had her power.

She doesn’t say anything; she doesn’t need to. Her little demon spawn will give her what she wants without any effort on her part.

“Madam Jade, Aventurine is claiming he’s pregnant,” Topaz tattles.

“I’m not claiming I’m pregnant, I am pregnant, you stubborn jerk!” Aventurine bites back.

“I’m glad you went to the doctor, Kakavasha,” Jade replies. “I was quite surprised when I noticed how your body’s desires had changed. Usually your body oozes the need for stimulation and danger, but one day it suddenly shifted to being cautious and protecting…something.” Jade finishes her thought as she looks at Kakavasha’s lower stomach.

“I will never understand how your Cornerstone works,” Aventurine sighs. “If you knew, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’m not omnipotent, despite what many claim,” she responds softly. Topaz’s eyes flicker between them, shocked by the gentleness of Jade's words and jealous that it’s directed toward Aventurine. “While I can see your mind’s and body’s desires, I wasn’t sure you were pregnant. You could have genuinely been sick. Also, imagine if I had said you were pregnant. You would have acted out like a rebellious teen. I figured it would be better to let the good doctor support you.”

Aventurine hums as he sits on the couch across from Jade. He puts a hand over his lower stomach, playing with the hairband holding his pants together. It seems Topaz’s brain has finally caught up with the situation, because she says just as softly, “Wait, you actually are pregnant?” She sits next to him, putting her hand exactly 10 inches from the top of his thigh. The authors of Diversity in Action used a standard deviation method to determine the risk of accidentally caressing a dick or dick-adjacent genitalia someone will take when touching a person’s thigh; they determine 10 inches to be the safest distance while maintaining empathetic contact.

Aventurine nods, not looking at Jade or Topaz. “…And Ratio isn’t the father?” Topaz asks carefully. She’s never understood their relationship. Being a U-Haul lesbian, Topaz typically says “I love you” and moves in with a woman on their first date, just for it to disastrously end a year later. Of course, she’s still friends with all of her exes, who are probably dating and moving in with each other just to repeat the cycle of disastrous break ups in a year. It’s lesbian culture, after all. Aventurine shakes his head, the lump in his throat making it difficult to speak. “Then…who is the father?”

“I don’t know. All I remember from that night is I got into a really bad argument with Ratio after we got wasted. I had stormed out of the bar and the next thing I remember is waking up horribly hung over. Fuck. Jelena, I really fucked up,” Aventurine says, panic reaching his eyes as he finally looks at her. “I never drank that tea! I meant to, but I got distracted after I showered. And now, kind and beautiful Veritas says he wants to be the father of my babies, but I don’t even know if I want these babies. What if the father is some kind of psychopath or a killer? What if the father is ugly?! I don’t want to have ugly babies!”

“You don’t have to worry about whether your babies will have a psychopathic killer as a father, Kakavasha,” Topaz replies sweetly, “they already have one. You.”

Aventurine glares at her and she breaks out in a sadistic smile. “Was that supposed to be funny? You should definitely quit your career and become a Masked Fool,” he says sardonically.

“At least I didn’t call you ugly,” she replies snarkily. “Wait. Did you say babies? How many kids did Ratio knock you up with?”

“I already told you he’s not the father,” Aventurine says indignantly. “I’m having twins, and, no, they are not cannibalizing each other.”

“Why would I think they are?” Topaz replies, a little disgusted.

“Aeons if I know, ask the freak I go to bed with every night!”

“Okay, see, this is why it doesn’t make sense that Ratio wouldn’t be the father. You already said you don’t know who you slept with, and you were already getting wasted with Ratio. Isn’t it logical to assume that after you blacked out, you two sought each other out again and freaked nasty than it is you managing to find some stranger to fuck you?”

“Firstly, don’t ever use the term ‘freak nasty’ again. Secondly, he’s not the biological father. End of discussion.”

“What do you mean end of discussion—” Topaz says, getting riled up again.

“Children,” Jade interrupts, an amused expression resting on her face. “I do believe there’s a more pressing question we should be asking. A simple blood test down the line can confirm who the father is, but the question that should be discussed is whether that blood test will even be necessary. Do you want these children, Kakavasha?”

Topaz and Jade stare at him intently. He’s used to having their feminine, queer, judgmental gaze cast upon him, but right now, he feels particularly small and vulnerable. “I…I don’t know. I want a family. I love kids. Gaiathra, I want all of that with Veritas, but we aren’t together.”

Topaz starts to interject, but Aventurine bludgeons forward. “I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO SAY, JELENA,” he all but yells irritably. “And knock that omniscient smile off your face, Eve. I know that I sleep in his bed nearly every night. I know that we kiss each others temples and cheeks. I know how we look at each other. There are things you don’t know though… things I haven’t told you. There are reasons we’ve never moved past where we are.”

“Do you…do you want to talk about it?” Topaz hesitates. She prides herself on being one who cares about other people, but that doesn’t mean she’s good at it.

Aventurine puts his head in his hands, rubbing his face. “No,” he replies sheepishly. He does want to talk about it, but his brain still panics in fear from all the times he’s been punished for his vulnerability.

“I know a way we can help guide our little peacock without having to discuss his relationship with his stony scholar. Although, Kakavasha, I’m sure you’ve realized that regardless of your choice, your life with Veritas is invariably changing. You can’t outrun it forever, otherwise, you’ll be solidifying a fate you don’t want.”

Aventurine opens his mouth to make a retort about his love of gambling with fate, but Jade intervenes, “Fate is unwilling to make bets on things with a so obvious result.”

Aventurine whines. Why is he friends with these women? Oh, because he’s a masochist, that’s right.

Jade looks over at Topaz, giving her a mischievous smile. “Nooooo, do we have to do that?” Topaz whines.

“It’ll be good to prepare Kakavasha for the future that awaits him. It can be…eye opening.”

Topaz grimaces, looking at her terminal. “Does it have to be in my office?”

“We are already here, child,” Jade consoles.

Topaz looks at Aventurine bitterly. “You owe me so much for this.”

“What are you two plotting?” Aventurine asks, feeling the foreboding energy radiating between the two women. “Stratagems is my Cornerstone, scheming is not a good look on you two.”

“It’s hardly a scheme,” Jade replies with saccharine venom. “Consider it a…lesson on what it means to desire.”

“Hardly a good counterpoint considering my baby-trapped baby daddy!”

While Aventurine was bickering with Jade, Topaz went over to her computer, searching for the various items that would enlighten Aventurine about his future. Qlipoth watch over her computer, she really doesn’t want to explain this search history to IT.

She sighs in resignation. “It’s ready,” she says to Jade.

Jade stands, holding her hand out to Aventurine, who takes it without flinching. How far he’s come over the years, even if he is staring at her apprehensively, obviously planning various escape routes.

Topaz arranges three chairs, gesturing for Aventurine to sit in the center one. He sits down, staring at them both suspiciously. Looking over at the screen, he gasps in fear. “No. No no no nononono. We are not doing this,” he says, scrambling from his seat.

Jade puts her foot on his thigh, her sharp heel digging into his slacks. Both of the women stand over him, one wearing a sinister smile and the other wearing an empathetic grimace. “Hold him down,” Jade says.

“I’m sorry, Aventurine. It’s for your own good.”

“Jelena,” Aventurine pleads, grabbing onto her arms as she climbs on top of him, forcing him still in the chair. “Are you really going to trap a former slave? Are you really going to force me through this?”

Topaz hesitates, looking at Jade. “Come now, child, do as you're told,” she says in a sickly sweet voice. Unfortunately for Aventurine, Topaz is a massive simp for women in power. She clicks play as Jade forces his eyes straight, making him watch the video.

♠︎♡◆♧

Dr. Ratio walks with the ego befitting a man of eight Ph.D.s and the eccentricity of a scholar wearing a bust to clear his head. Although, in this instance, he's wearing his bust so those around him don't know that he puked his guts up mere minutes ago from the idea of having to confess his feelings for a man so obviously in love with him. People think him self-centered and egotistical, but little do they know that he's currently suffering from his bile-breath so they don't have to. Honorable deeds always go unthanked.

His office is located on the part of the university campus where they care about the research being done. His side of campus has new buildings, clean walkways, coffee shops and libraries at every corner, and beautiful wispy trees that release a lovely, sweet scent with the wind. Unfortunately for the man used to luxury, where he's going is the part of campus that the university begrudgingly keeps due to endless student protesting and striking.

To the surprise of the wealthy elite funding public education institutions, apparently it's important that these institutions teach about “race and ethnicity,” “gender and sexuality,” “media and culture,” “arts and theater,” and “economics.” Higher education institutions exist to steal money from young students and break them until they are ready for the workforce, where they will spend the rest of their miserable lives sitting zombified at a computer. However, the greedy 1% is always willing to offer more courses if it means they can take money from students who will certainly never be employed with a degree in “sustainability studies.” This program was the most recent addition to their curriculum, demanded by students who want to save the universe from the wealthy elites funding their education.

Ratio avoids this part of campus like the plague. It's not that he has anything against these fields of study. All education is important. It's just that he's grown quite fond of the amenities provided to the supposedly superior STEM subjects. He passes the foreboding threshold. Past the last coffee shop, the sidewalks suddenly become cracked, the paint on the buildings peeling, and all of the trees ooze a sour, musky scent that reminds him of a very bad college hookup he once had.

He was surprised to learn that one of the university's medical research facilities was on this part of campus, and less surprised to learn that the research focuses on women, trans, and alien health care. He pulls at the door leading to his destination, but the door groans, refusing to budge. He yanks it so hard that it comes off its hinges, leaving him stunned, holding the door in his hand.

“It was a push door, not a pull,” a student says from the inside. They are sitting on an old, stained chair in an empty hallway. There is no art donated from the catcakes on the walls like in his building, there aren't even windows despite one of the walls facing the outdoors.

He clears his throat. “The handle is upwards, indicating it is a pull door. If it was meant to be pushed, the handle would be sideways.”

The student looks at him dully. “They probably put it on wrong. It's not like they put a lot of effort into these buildings.”

He doesn't argue. Setting the door to the side, he turns to leave, but the student speaks again. “Can you, like, shove the door back in place? I don't want the aircon to escape.”

The hallway feels almost unbearably hot. It is cooler in here then it is outside, but just barely. “There's aircon in this building?”

The student sighs deeply. “Yeah. The grad students unionized over it and went on strike. They wanted the AC to be set to 75 degrees, 10 degrees hotter than the STEM buildings. They knew they couldn't ask for more. When the university fired all of those students and rejected their thesis, their replacement grad students also striked, despite the university's efforts to thwart them. They agreed to keep the building at 79.8 degrees but lowered all of their salaries to accommodate for the electricity bill.”

Ratio's frown deepens. He knew the humanities had a harder time than the STEM programs, but he didn't realize it was this bad. “And you are a grad student here?”

“Huh? No, I don't go here,” they respond simply before staring at the blank, white walls in front of them.

He stares, aghast, at the stu—person for a moment longer before turning to shove the door back in place. Strolling confidently, but less confidently than before, Ratio walks through the hallway, and neither of them say more.

The interaction was so peculiar he almost forgot about the bile-breath suffocating him in his bust. He dematerializes the bust before knocking on an office door. The door looks so old and chipped, he's sure it could break with one strong knock. The door opens to a crowded room. Papers are stacked on top of filing cabinets and books are strewn over the floor. There's a tight path toward a metal folding chair he guesses are for students to sit in during office hours. As he sits in the chair, his eyes blow wide at the pictures of vaginas and vagina-adjacent genitalia in various stages of birth littering the wall opposite of him. He shouldn't be surprised given the owner's field of research, but he can't say himself that he has images of battery innards or dark matter reactors on his wall. Some are more passionate about their subjects than others, he supposes.

“Dr. Alicera,” he says, trying to hide his surprise at the state of her office.

Her eyes flick from his to the photos he is trying to not stare at before they return to him with an unamused glare. “What? Have you never seen a vagina before?” She asks tersely.

He sputters. “In a medical context, yes, I have seen them before. I may not have a medical degree, but I have taken many human physiology courses. I was simply not expecting you to be so…forward with your research.”

“Well, you better get used to it soon. The last thing you want is your face to look that squeamish while you're helping your pregnant, hormonal partner use the bathroom,” she replies sardonically.

“I can assure you, my response will be far more suited when I am prepared to see what is between Kakavasha's legs, rather than walking into a colleague's office and seeing vaginas taped to the wall.”

She smiles at him and laughs. “Most don't like my sense of humor, but it seems I'm in good company.”

Ratio did not realize she was joking, but doesn't say that. He nods instead.

“Wait… did you say you haven't seen what's between Kakavasha's legs? How did you knock him up then?”

Ratio's face turns bright red. “I believe I did mention when we met in the hospital room that Kakavasha got superlatively drunk and slept with a stranger, did I not?”

She stares at him dumbfounded. “I thought you were joking.”

“Evidently, I was not.”

“But you were kissing him.”

“I—yes—but not on the lips.”

Her face shifts into a grimace as she stares at him. “I will never understand men,” she whispers under her breath. “That is a shame. I was surprised when you walked in, but serendipitously, I needed your assistance. Turns out you're just as useless as that day in the hospital.”

“I will admit I got overeager, but I may still be able to help you. While I have not engaged in coitus with Kakavasha, I know him mind, body, and soul.”

He swears he hears her grumble, “Ugh, gross.”

“Well, Kakavasha did sign the waiver saying his medical information may be disclosed to you. I suppose it doesn't hurt to get your opinion, just don't mansplain my field to me.”

After his extensive conversation with the other men of the Mundanites, he can confidently say, “I will not.”

Dr. Alicera pulls up Kakavasha's records on her terminal, projecting various images and 3D holographs of his body and the babies. It feels invasive, but Ratio can't help but stare in awe at the unique, complex structures presented before him.

“Kakavasha's anatomy is unlike anything I've seen. While I'm confident I can still provide him care and a safe delivery — if he chooses to go through with this pregnancy — I find myself stumped on how he managed to get pregnant.”

Ratio's eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean?”

“Hermaphroditism, not to be confused with being intersex, is quite rare among humanoid species. It tends to only present in humans that live on isolated and harsh planets. The prevailing theory — brought forth by me, the expert in my field — is that these humans developed this reproductive method since there is such a high mortality rate. There's no guarantee that two humans with compatible reproductive systems will be able to copulate, so they evolved to be capable of both. Hermaphrodites go through a physiological change. They, quite literally, restructure their bodies at the cellular level to construct the organs in need.”

She pulls up examples of other human hermaphrodites. “In the case of Halovians, only males will undergo this change if they lose the matriarch of their clan. The male with the ‘prettiest’ wings will physiologically transition and become the new matriarch."

The clicks to another example. “In the case of Thalassians, the hermaphroditism is not limited to sex, but only certain people of a specific sex can undergo change. However, it is not social factors like Halovians that prompts the change, but environmental factors. If their home waters become too acidic or basic, it causes them to transition accordingly. These people are given their own genders, based on how they transition.”

Finally, she goes back to Kakavasha and pulls up a few, short documents. “The Sigonian clans have not been studied well, but from what I have gathered, they have the largest amount of sexes, genders, and transition capabilities that I've ever seen. I believe Kakavasha belongs to this group of hermaphrodites," she points to a small paragraph of one of the research documents. "Meaning, Kakavasha is capable of developing any sex native to Sigonia. I don't know what most of the sexes do, reproductively speaking, but I do know that the one he transitioned to allowed him to get pregnant.”

“I've been meaning to ask,” Ratio interjects, “How did you know that Kakavasha is a hermaphrodite?”

She hums. “The day Kakavasha was in the hospital, I was frantically asked by a nurse to come as quickly as possible, and I was persuaded to leave my ethnic soap opera by a very large consulting fee. Kakavasha confirmed he had a physical the day before the impregnation — the day you both got wasted,” she adds as if he needed the reminder. “During that physical, his body had not undergone the transition, his sex was the same it had been in all of his previous physicals. That means, he would have transitioned either immediately after the physical or the day he was impregnated.”

Ratio's eyes go wide in realization. “Does it normally…happen that fast?”

“No, but it is documented that it happens fairly quickly for the Sigonian clans. What I can't figure out is what triggered the change. According to Kakavasha, it was a normal day. Yes, you both got very drunk, but he has been very drunk before. There was no physical trauma, no known environmental indicators that would cause the change to occur. Again, this doesn't affect my ability to offer him care, but my curious mind is struggling to let it go.”

Ratio hums. He feels some relief in knowing that he's not the only expert Aventurine stumps. “Have you asked Kakavasha about this?”

“I asked a series of questions to help narrow my answers, but I did not ask him directly if he knew why it changed.”

“I think he is far more suited to help answer your question than I am, Dr. Alicera.”

She grunts absentmindedly, “I can think of many people better suited than you, but you happened to walk into my office.” He rolls his eyes. “I was not under the impression Kakavasha received much sex education before… well, I'm sure I don't need to tell you.”

“You'd be surprised at how much knowledge lies behind that mask of frivolity. Even if he never had a formal education, the Avgins told their stories through oral history. Perhaps his clan had legends or fables that could enlighten you.”

She looks at him, her previously unamused and tense features softening into a smile. “Thank you, Dr. Ratio. I will do that.”

He nods in return.

“Why did you come to my office?” She asks.

“Oh,” Ratio says, suddenly remembering the urgency of his arrival. “Did Kakavasha come to you about getting an abortion?”

Her smile drops into a glower, her wrinkled lips pursed together. “No, he did not. How could you get so easily side-tracked!” She exclaims. “Have you texted or called him? Did he tell you he was coming here?”

Ratio flushes in embarrassment, he can already tell how Dr. Alicera will react to his next words. “No… He left me a sticky note stuck to my forehead saying he was going to make a life altering decision. I assumed it involved his pregnancy, so I immediately came here.”

She stares at him in shock. “Are you fucking stupid?” She asks plainly, too exasperated to be dramatic. She grabs Ratio's codex and smacks him on the arm. He yelps, flinching away from her. “Get out of my office and go make sure my patient is safe, you imbecile! And for the love of the gods, text him asking where he is!”

Nearly running out of her office as she throws his codex at him, Ratio scrambles to pick it up before bolting back down the boiling hallway. He pulls out his phone and starts rapidly texting Aventurine, cursing himself for his foolishness. Why didn't he text Aventurine? That man makes him such a helpless, love drunk idiot.

He walks urgently, not looking up from his phone as he continues to send texts in rapid succession. He blows past the stu—person still sitting in that old, stained chair, staring at the blank wall. Before he can open the door he broke earlier, the person says, “Good luck, future baby daddy!”

He turns to face them in shock. “How did you know I'm going to be a father?”

The person shrugs, staring back at the wall. “Why else would a man like you be in a place like this?”

Sputtering, he almost stops to ask what they meant by that, but he remembers that he has a far more important task to complete. He picks up the broken door, shuffling outside before slamming it back in place. The glass cracks and the person looks over at the broken door morosely. They both know it will never be fixed.

Chapter Text

Aventurine squirms in the chair, desperately trying to wrangle himself free from Jade's heel. Topaz stands behind him, holding his head straight and forcing his eyelids open. “Why are you making me watch a natural birth? I'm not stupid enough to not get an epidural! I don't even have a vagina! This isn't accurate to what I'll experience,” he begs and pleads.

“Even if this isn't what you'll experience, your body is going to go through permanent changes and it will be difficult. There's two things inside you right now,” Topaz replies.

Aventurine stops writhing, panting while stuck in his seat. “Why'd you have to say it like that?” he whines, trying to turn around to look at her.

She snaps his head back forward and he grimaces. The omniscient narrator decided to spare the readers from the horrors of child birth, but know that Aventurine is really going through it.

“Okay! Fine! I'll talk. I'll do anything. Please just don't make me watch more of this!” He says as his stomach gurgles and bile rises in his throat. “There's more fluids then when I had to fight in the gladiator arena, and that's saying something.”

Women really don't get enough credit for all they go through in childbirth. That's probably why men refuse to educate them on it. Like. Who would willingly do that? (Besides him, but he's, quite literally, built different.)

Jade gives a smug smile to Topaz, who smiles sheepishly back at her. Aventurine has always be a “learn through the consequences” kind of person, but why did she have to watch it too?!

Jade removes her foot, allowing Aventurine to slump in his seat. He breathes heavily, as if he just experienced hours of torture. “You both are evil,” he whines.

“Maybe you'll learn from this experience and talk to us rather than forcing us to use extreme measures,” Topaz says in that same exasperated tone Ratio usually gives him.

“All I've learned is that your diversity handbook is shit, and that you'll do anything Jade says like a pathetic little puppy.”

Topaz slumps in her seat. “I won't deny the second part.” She groans, putting her head in her hands. “I am so grateful I don't want children. I don't know how people go through that.”

Aventurine leans against her, his body and soul weak. “I don't know either.”

“So, are you going to tell us how you know Ratio isn't the dad?”

Aventurine shifts uncomfortably. “I really don't know if I should be telling you both this. He's a private person, you know? I won't ask you to keep it a secret. Hopefully, he'll understand why I did it.” He takes a deep breath, then hangs his head in resignation. “When Ratio was younger, like still getting his third Ph.D.—a baby, you know?—he had a long term partner. The partner was obsessed with kids. Even though they weren't married or even living together, they made him get a fertility test, because that was a deal-breaker for them. Well…they aren't together now. You can piece together the rest.”

“Ratio left them because that's a weird fucking deal-breaker, especially when there's other avenues of having kids?” Topaz asks sarcastically.

Aventurine looks at her pityingly, but the pity isn't directed toward her. “He's such a hopeless romantic under that stony exterior. But that's also why I can't do this to him. He offered to be my baby daddy without second thought. He doesn't know what he's getting into, he's just in love with me.”

“So you admit he's in love with you?”

“Of course he's in love with me, are you stupid?”

“Am I stupid?! You're the one who—ugh, forget this. You're intolerable.”

“Okay children, no need for names,” Jade intervenes with an amused smile of her face. “So the doctor is sterile and you're worried you're baby trapping him because he's a romantic fool. Of all the things I've heard you say, I haven't heard much about what you want. You said you wanted kids, and you want them with Ratio. But do you want these kids? Are you the one who wants to to carry them? Is this when you want to have kids?”

Aventurine slumps further, and Jade mindlessly corrects his posture with her heel. He looks down at the hair tie holding his pants together, while keeping his spine ridigly straight. “If you had asked me before I found out I would have said no. Then, I would have gone to a casino and got black out drunk while trying to not think about how badly I want a family. To be loved like I once was. Now, it doesn't sound too bad. But I can't stop thinking about how bad I'll be fucking these kids over. Who in their right mind would bring more Avgins into the world? I'm hardly a suitable parent. My job is dangerous, even if I'm being less reckless. Will the IPC even let me have kids, Eve?”

“Of course. We may be evil, but we aren't cruel,” Jade replies with the same devilish grin she taught Aventurine to wield all too well. “Your work will still be demanding, even after you return from family leave. You'll struggle between the commitment of your job and your family, but, Kakavasha, I made you a Stoneheart because of your resiliency and will. You can handle it, you always have. Why don't you handle a good thing for once?”

Aventurine chuckles meekly, his mask slipping away into obscurity. “How do I know I want this and not just the idea of it?”

Topaz pulls him into a hug, which he greedily returns. “We showed you the worst parts, now let's show you the best parts. Text Ratio and tell him to meet us at the Pier Point Super Store.”

Aventurine looks at her suspiciously. He has no reason to trust them, but he pulls out his phone anyway. Sometimes love is trusting that your family will only torture you once a day, not twice.

Aventurine sees a wall of messages on his phone. Ah. He had forgotten about the little prank he pulled on Ratio earlier.

—

Dr. Veritas Ratio
There is no rush.

12:13 ST
Gambler?

Are you alright?

Where are you?

Please, let me be involved in your decision. I won’t force you to do anything, but I want to be there to support you.

At least let me know you’re okay.

—

He sees the timestamp and frowns. “Did he really only wake up at noon? Eve, how do you convince a man to use a CPAP machine?”

“You don't,” she replies absentmindedly, looking at her own phone. “You hide it during the day and strap it to their face at night. Or you can just marry them and kill them once you're on their life insurance policy.”

“Madam Jade…” Topaz asks suspiciously, “How many times have you been married?”

Jade gives her a sly smirk and a wink before returning to her phone.

“That's who you called mommy earlier,” Aventurine whispers in her ear.

“Oh my Aeons, never mind. Figure out this baby nonsense on your own,” Topaz replies haughtily.

“Noooooo, come on. We'll stop by your favorite café and get mani-pedis on the way. Veritas doesn't know where the superstore is and refuses to use a GPS.” Topaz is about to ask but Aventurine interrupts while sighing dramatically and rolling his eyes. “He claims that GPSs dull his mind by making him rely on navigational aids rather than honing his spatial awareness.”

Topaz gawks at him. “You're in love with a freak.”

“Yeah, but he's my freak.”

He sighs, looking at his phone fondly. He doesn't believe he deserves to be happy, but he's a greedy man; he'll gladly accept all the happiness his family is willing to give him.

Jade surprisingly agrees to come for mani-pedis, claiming one of her nails chipped. “I was already planning on a spa day, might as well do it now,” she says lightly with a maternal grin and sharp, greedy gaze. Jade’s ability to truly be nerve-wracking is a skill Aventurine nor Topaz will ever master. (Topaz isn’t trying, but Aventurine is.)

As the trio arrive at Jade’s favorite spa, all of the attendants immediately bow and take Jade’s belongings, storing it in a safe, before guiding her to a private room. “Ah, these two will be with me today, are you able to accommodate us on such short notice?”

“Of course, Madam Jade,” the lead attendant says in a deep bow. They don’t offer to take Aventurine or Topaz’ things.

Aventurine doesn’t dare to look at Topaz while they are escorted to a private room, knowing she’s got a love-sick expression on her face that will make Aventurine throw up. The three settle down, and they immediately get pampered by the well-trained attendants.

Aventurine doesn’t like to have color on his nails, but he does like to look polished. He can afford to have someone else do it for him, so why would he do it himself? Jade chooses a nude-pink, elegant and refined, just like herself. Topaz chooses a bold red, something fitting for a young woman looking to make a name for herself. Even Numby gets a mani-pedi, and Aventurine can tell the attendant is doing her best to not look horrified as she trims and paints their claws black.

With lucky timing, Aventurine receives a phone call right as the attendant finishes his nails. He doesn’t recognize the number, but its almost impossible to reach him directly unless he gave the person permission through the IPC terminal-network. He’s terrible about saving contacts; it took Ratio stealing his phone and adding his contact to make Aventurine save it. Aventurine still has the selfie he made Ratio take that day as his contact photo. He loves seeing the blurry, annoyed grimace on Ratio’s face he managed to snap before the good doctor could don his bust.

“This is Aventurine of Stratagems, at your service,” he says in a charismatic and sultry voice.

“This is Dr. Alicera. How would you prefer me to address you over the phone?”

Aventurine looks over at Jade and Topaz, he would be fine with them being in the room during a call with his doctor, but his years of enslavement and servitude to the IPC makes him wary of the attendants. “Haha! The pleasure is all mine,” he responds, hoping that Dr. Alicera gets the hint.

“I see. Don’t worry. I already know from your files that you do not like discussing your medical records over the phone, I was only hoping to schedule a meeting with you to discuss some questions I have about your Avgin history.”

“A meeting will be fine, I appreciate the courtesy,” he replies airily. “I can have my assistant reach out to schedule with you. Can you summarize the purpose of the meeting so that I can come prepared?”

“Of course. Dr. Ratio was in my office earlier—that fucking buffooon,” she mutters under her breath. Aventurine snorts and almost asks about why Ratio was there, but Dr. Alicera continues, “He mentioned that your clan has robust oral histories, and I was wondering whether there are any related to your race’s hermaphroditism or reproductive biology. The available research on the Avgins is sorely limited, anything you can remember would be greatly helpful.”

“Sure. I’ll be prepared for our meeting. Until then,” Aventurine replies, then immediately hangs up.

Oral histories, huh… Aventurine thinks to himself. He remembers everything. His therapist once told him that it was a symptom of PTSD, to remember everything in the excruciating detail as he does. He had laughed then, muttering a bitter joke about why he didn’t get the other kind of PTSD that let him forget everything. If he had forgotten, though, he wouldn’t remember his sister’s sweet voice, and the stories she used to tell.

His eyes open wide, and he takes in a shuddering gasp. It can’t be… He always assumed that story was a fantasy. While he remembers it all, he struggles to remember which of his sister’s stories were fiction or history. That story… it was simply too good to be true. Even as a boy he was jaded by the desolate sands. Yet it fits so perfectly…

“Are you alright?” Topaz asks, giving him a scrutinizing glare.

He laughs, it’s airy and hollow. “Just a pesky client. You give them your number and suddenly they think they can call you to schedule a meeting to get around your assistant!” It’s a good ruse, one he knows Topaz will fall for, even if she doesn’t believe it.

She squints at Aventurine, then looks over at Jade. Her eyes are closed, and she wears that eerily omniscient smile on her face but doesn’t say anything. Topaz sighs and agrees to take the bait. “Yeah… What do they think? That just because they have our numbers we’ll prioritize them over other clients? I always tell my assistant they get lower priority on my schedule. They need to learn lessons,” she says as she puts the cucumbers back over her eyes.

“Yeah, lessons…” Aventurine replies, sinking back down into his seat, mindlessly rubbing the small bump on his lower abdomen.

Soon, their spa day is over. He hasn’t heard from Ratio beyond a read receipt, which he has learned means Ratio agrees to do whatever Aventurine sent. So, the trio head over to the superstore, where he is blindly lead toward the “good parts” of parenting, whatever Jade and Topaz mean by that.

♠︎♡◆♧

Veritas must be close to the superstore. All urban areas are designed to lure people to places to spend large amounts of money, and Pier Point practically invented the urban design. He can tell by the increased traffic, frequently placed bus stops, crying children that are driving him crazy, and the smell of cooking oil that fast food restaurants pump into the air to make people crave the destruction of their stomachs. It must be within a block or two.

The main flaw with Pier Points urban design are the skyscrapers. They block the view of the horizon, and more importantly, the view of other buildings. He can't quite tell which direction to walk in next, especially as the rebellious winds are blowing that deliciously oily smell in every direction.

As Veritas is debating whether the bike path is more likely to lead him to the shopping center or the teenagers spray painting a penis onto an IPC patrol car, his phone starts violently buzzing in his pocket.

Perturbed, he opens his phone and nearly drops it in horror.

—

Topaz & Numby
Off-site~ Call if important, otherwise text

3:15 ST
You need to get here NOW!

Vasha had a panic attack in public.

I can’t find him, he ran away when I asked him what was wrong.

We are at the Luxury Clothing Outlet on the third floor.

Use a fucking GPS or I will. kill. you.

—

He immediately turns on his GPS, frantically typing in the name of the store they are at. He would dull his mind a million times over if it meant protecting Kakavasha. He'd probably do worse.

Uncaring to how absurd the sight of a very tall man sprinting down a bike path while wearing a bust is, Veritas nearly breaks the sound barrier in an attempt to reach his dear gambler as quickly as possible. He quickly weaves through the crowds of people all leisurely spending money on material things for the chance of a dopamine hit. He hears Topaz before he sees her.

He pushes his way through a crowd of people trying to see what's happening inside the store. He nearly steps on a child, but thankfully, their mother drags them away using her sixth sense.

“Oh thank gods,” Topaz says as she instructs various IPC grunts to secure the area and not let anyone inside the store. “I got everyone out. Jade is already working on how to spin the story and leak more juicy gossip to get the press’ attention away from the situation. I think Numby is biting someone trying to get into the store for a photo—good job, Numby!”

Numby is on top of a short woman, their claws digging into her hair as they growl at her, covering her face with its chubby body.

“What happened?” Veritas rasps out, the stitch in his side stabbing him with each word.

“I-I don't know,” Topaz says in a panicked whisper. “We went to get mani-pedis because Aventurine knew you would take forever. When we got to the store we started looking around and he saw something that caused him to break down. I've never seen him like this before. You need to get in there. Now.”

Veritas removes his bust and nods his head. He moves towards the door but is blocked by IPC grunts.

“Not him, you worthless morons!” Topaz shrieks. “I WILL demote you.”

The grunts straighten quickly, motioning rigidly for Veritas to pass. He makes a mental note to not piss off Topaz.

His bust dissipates, and he starts frantically looking for Kakavasha. The last time Kakavasha broke down, the blonde tried to hide himself. He’s very good at it too. Thankfully, Veritas was there to keep Kakavasha from shimmying into the crawlspace under his house, but Kakavasha has had too much time to hide before Veritas arrived. He looks up at the airducts and shivers. He can only hope that his beloved was too panicked to realize the air ducts were big enough to fit in.

He quietly and efficiently tears through each of the clothing racks, searching for a curled up body between the cotton sanctuary. He does his best to remain calm, slamming open Kakavasha’s safe place will only spook his little sand cat. Hunting down a scared cat is a marathon, not a sprint. He is getting more desperate though, the memories of the last time Kakavasha had a panic attack leaking into his mind.

He takes a deep breath. They’ve both come a long way since that day, and he has to trust that Kakavasha wants him to be here while he’s vulnerable. If they are going to have children together, they will have to learn how to weather these storms together. He takes in a shaky breath before calmly calling out, “Vasha? It’s me, Veritas. There’s no one else in the store. Can you tell me where you are?”

His heart pounds in his chest as he waits for a response. “Veri?” A quiet, broken voice calls from somewhere deeper in the store.

He nearly sobs when hearing Kakavasha’s voice, but, instead, he clears his throat and replies, “Yes, it’s me, anima mea. I’m coming over.”

Like an owl hunting prey, he locked-in to where he heard that meek voice and walks over as fast as he can while remaining calm. He finds himself in the baby clothing aisle. “Vasha, can you tell me where you are? I’ll join you,” he says in a hushed voice.

“I’m… hiding beneath a clothing rack,” the hesitant voice replies.

Veritas peels back the baby onesies and sees the love of his life hugging his knees, his eyes burning red. He looks so small and fragile like this, and it breaks Veritas as much as it makes him want to protect the other with his entire being. Kakavasha is clutching onto shoes, very small shoes.

“I-I didn’t mean to cause such a scene,” Kakavasha says between sobs, “but I saw these shoes, and they’re just so small. I started crying. Then, when Topaz saw me crying and asked me what was wrong, I started panicking and hid between the onesies. It’s the smallest, most comfortable cage a man like me can find.”

Veritas chuckles lightly, setting himself down next to Kakavasha. “Those shoes are quite small,” he replies.

“It’s stupid.”

“It’s hardly stupid. Did you look at the shoes are realize how small and frail your babies’ feet will be? Was it overwhelming?”

Kakavasha looks up at him in awe. “Yeah. How did you know?”

“I’ve always avoided the baby section of stores because of it. Of course, I am capable of being around a newborn without panicking, but it’s different, when you start to think about how these tiny, fragile things will be in your hands, relying on you.” He takes the shoes from Kakavasha’s hands and places them in his own. They’re so much smaller than the palm of his hand.

“I feel like I’m baby trapping you, Veritas,” Kakavasha says quietly with his head bowed.

“Was I not the one who offered to stay?”

“Yeah, but you also got that fertility test because you were hopelessly in love with your ex. How can I not worry that this is the same situation?”

Veritas chuckles. “Idiot,” he says softly. “This is hardly the same situation. That was my first real relationship, and like most in their youths, I felt there was no one else in the universe capable of putting up with someone like me. I was the idiot back then, I’ve learned a lot since. I am doing this because I want these children with you, regardless of where their seed came from.”

He takes in a deep breath. He has to do this, no matter what will result afterward. Their lives are invariably moving forward, and clinging to past fears no longer holds merits. “Vasha. I’ve been happy with our relationship, but we’ve reached an annex that we can no longer shelter in. I’ve always worried that I would never be enough for you. I do not have strong sexual desires, and I am sterile. I am arrogant and egotistical. I often forget to care for others. My job is demanding, and I’ve always put it first. I never asked for more because I feared caging you with someone who could not provide everything you deserved. Vasha… I need you to know that I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you. Whatever you want from me, you shall have.”

Kakavasha looks at him awe-struck and elated. He finally heard everything he’s been waiting years to hear, and the only thing he can think to say is, “You actually read those stupid books? You’re such a sap!” Veritas blushes profusely, and he’s about to argue with Kakavasha, reminding the blonde that he was the one who pestered him into reading them, but Kakavasha continues, “Veri, I love you too. You silly man. Those things would never stop me from loving you. We can always figure out how to deal with our sex drives later, and, anyway, it’s not like we’ll have much time for that soon. I don’t care that you’re sterile. It’s your shitty ex who made you think that’s an important quality to anyone. I’m also an arrogant, greedy, selfish, morally gray workaholic. It’s something we’ll both have to deal in time.”

Finally, after years of wanting, after years of self-imposed chastity, after years of longing glances, after years of convincing themselves that they weren’t enough for the other, Kakavasha leans in and steals a kiss from his beloved’s lips. It’s a short and sweet kiss. Their lips shake as they finally join together. It’s imperfect by all means. There’s comfort, though, in knowing that they can share kisses that are chaste and lackluster but secure enough to know there will always be plenty more to come.

“I have another confession to make,” Kakavasha says, panting against Veritas’ lips.

“I’m listening, Vasha. I will always listen.”

Kakavasha exhales shakily before replying, “Dr. Alicera called me earlier. She asked about my clan’s oral histories. She called you a ‘fucking buffoon,’ by the way.” Veritas grimaces against Kakavasha lips. “Besides the point, when she asked, it unlocked a memory I haven’t thought about in a while. I always thought it was a fantasy, but…well, you’ll know when I tell you. The story goes that, for someone of my gender, we go under our ‘awakening’ when we know we are truly in love and cared for. Sigonia’s a harsh place, and I guess that our bodies developed a fail-safe to only allow reproduction when it knew we would be cared for. Veritas… I ‘awoke’ that night we drank together. I ‘awoke’ because of you. I’m sure of that. I just don’t know what finally happened that caused it.”

Veritas looks into Kakavasha’s eyes, his adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Then, I have a confession to make too.” He lowers his head solemnly. “I do know why we fought that night. This isn’t the first time I confessed to you. I told you that I loved you that night. You looked…shocked. Then, you looked like you were going to be sick. I didn’t act appropriately. I was drunk, I should have never said it in that state. I figured you were rejecting me, so I started arguing with you. Eventually, you left, and, unfortunately, I don’t remember what happened after that. When you started calling me the day after, I was so hungover and sick, I couldn’t find it in myself to speak with you. Then, when we finally spoke, you remembered nothing of our fight, so I pretended not to either.”

Veritas leans his head against Kakavasha. “I’m so sorry, Vasha. For lying, for being weak, for telling you something so important while so drunk.”

Kakavasha leans his head against Veritas’. “I forgive you, Veritas. I don’t remember that argument, nor do I remember why I ran off. It makes sense that I would be scared, especially if my body was suddenly going through changes. You said I looked sick, I bet it’s because my body ‘awoke,’ not because of what you said. I don’t doubt that I would have ran off anyway. You chose to love a difficult person, you know?”

Veritas hums in acknowledgement. “I do know. Loving you is a difficult affair, but I like to make my life difficult.”

“I hate myself,” the blonde whispers, “I hate myself for running off and having sex with some stranger. For betraying you like that. Now, I’m carrying the evidence of that betrayal.”

Veritas strokes those soft, blonde locks. “You didn’t betray me, we were not in a monogamous relationship. It does hurt knowing that you did that as a form of self-destruction after my confession, but do not view these fetuses growing inside you as evidence of that betrayal. I already said, the seed does not matter. I could not give you biological children, but getting to be here with you every step of the way, it means more than you could realize. If you decide you don’t want this pregnancy but want children, then I want to be with you through every step of the surrogacy or adoption process. I want this with you, Vasha. Only you.” He whispers the last words into Kakavasha’s hair.

“I want this too then. I want them with you, Veri. Only you. I just…I can’t stop thinking about the burdens our children will face. It’s a selfish, greedy decision to bring more Avgins into the world.”

“Kakavasha, you are a selfish, greedy, morally gray man,” Veritas begins. The blond pulls away, giving Veritas an affronted look. He pulls the blonde back into his arms, resting Kakavasha's head against his chest while stroking his blonde hair. “Let me finish. You are a selfish, greedy, morally gray man, but I know undoubtedly that you will fiercely love these children. You once demoted and bankrupted a man because you overheard him drunkenly call me names at a bar. Neither of us even knew the man. There will be hardships, everyone has hardships, but they have a parent who would raze every planet they walk on to ensure their happiness.”

“Two parents. Two parents who would raze every planet they walk on. You’re a gooey mess under that stony exterior, my good doctor. I’m sure you’d create another anti-planetary device to destroy whatever world dared to mistreat your children.”

Veritas chuckles, leaning down to press a kiss on the crown of Kakavasha’s head, while resting one of his hands over the gambler’s small bump. “You’re right. Two parents. And so many wealthy, powerful family members. Honestly, we should be more worried about what they will do to the universe rather than what the universe will do to them.”

They sit there for a while, simply holding each other, letting their confessions sink into their skins. Then, Kakavasha moves. “We should probably get out of here. I’ve caused such a scene in such a public space.”

“Madam Jade and Topaz handled it quickly and efficiently. Remind me to not piss Topaz off.”

Kakavasha gutturally laughs at that. “You’ve pissed her off so many times, Veritas. Do you know how many IOUs I’ve had to make with her because of your temperament?”

“I never asked you to do that!”

“No, but I’d do it time and time again. Just for you, my love.”

Veritas blushes profusely at that. As they stand, exiting their cocoon of tiny onesies, Veritas grabs Kakavasha’s hand and pulls the smaller man back to him. “I have one more thing to confess, if you’ll allow me.”

“Sure,” Kakavasha says, slightly hesitantly.

Veritas takes in a deep breath, then says, “I’ve known about ‘Ratio’s Inflamed Prostate’ for years.”

Kakavasha looks scandalized. “What?”

“Anima mea, it was quite easy to figure out. You have a very distinct talking pattern online, and you don’t know what a VPN is, let alone how to use one. It was easy to trace back to you.”

“If…If you knew this entire time. Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I quite enjoyed seeing the conversations you would have with ‘Ratio’s Broodmare,’” he responds sulkily.

“I…Oh my goddess. I’m so embarrassed.”

“We’ve actually gotten in arguments before. You claim that I would look good with a baby on my hip, and I responded that ‘Someone of Ratio’s stature would not hold a baby on his hip. He is too tall, and the baby would not be safe.’ You responded that, ‘It’s not about whether it’s plausible, it’s about that it is hot.’ To which I responded, ‘The safety of a baby should far outweigh whether something is sexually desirable.’ You had my account banned after that.”

Kakavasha’s face is beet red in horror. “I blocked you from your own insane fan club?!”

“No need to fret, my love. It is not the first time I’ve been banned from that server. I constantly have to create new profiles,” he says, a bit admonishingly.

Kakavasha stares at him, his gaze perplexed and amused. “You are the silliest man I know,” he says as he bundles Veritas’ face in his hands before leaning him down for a kiss.

Together, they walk out of the store, hand-in-hand, continuing to confess small things they kept hidden from each other over the years. They still have much to discuss for their long journey ahead of them, but finally, Dr. Veritas Ratio and Aventurine of Stratagems, are joining together, not just as business partners but partners in love.

♠︎♡◆♧

“Please! Get this creature off of me!” A woman shrieks as Numby continues to growl on her head, their sharp claws digging into her thick, curly, black hair.

“Okay, Numby! That’s enough. We got the all clear,” Topaz says as she reads a text from Veritas saying that the pair have left the store.

The short, stout woman huffs indignantly as she reorganizes her hair beneath her shall. “For the record, I was not trying to snap a photo. I heard that my patient was incapacitated inside, and I was attempting to help him!”

Topaz’ eyes widen in horror. “Oh Qlipoth, are you Dr. Alicera?”

“Yes,” she replies haughtily. “Who are you?”

“I am Topaz of Debt Retrieval, and this is Madam Jade of Credit. We are Aventurine’s co-workers…and friends…and family, I suppose,” she replies meekly. “He’s okay now! We handled the situation and Ratio was able to extract the asset without any issues,” she then says, far more assuredly. She puts her hands on her hips, Numby standing under her proudly, both of them have sparkles in their eyes.

“That’s good, at least,” Dr. Alicera responds. “Even though you talk about him more like an asset than a family member, I won’t file a complaint with the IPC since you were doing your best to protect my patient. Do be sure to keep that pet off me in future encounters, though.”

Topaz laughs uncomfortably before bowing as she says, “Will do, Ma’am.”

“I am far too old to be called Ma’am, just call me Dr. Alicera.”

“How interesting,” a sultry and venomous voice says as it interrupts their conversation. Jade saunters over, leaning down to invade Dr. Alicera’s space. Topaz’ eyes go wide as she watches her mo—mentor evaluate this short, plump, average woman. “Everyone has desires, and I can see everyone’s desires. Yet you radiate nothing. In the few circumstances I have experienced this, it was with people so depressed they had nothing left to live for, but you seem happy, content, and enjoying life.” Jade twirls some of Dr. Alicera’s curly hair between her fingers. “You are quite fascinating.”

Topaz’ hands clench into a fist as she wars off the envious flush flooding her face. Dr. Alicera holds Jade’s gaze. She does not falter under the scrutiny, nor does she fall prey to the lascivious tricks the taller woman employs. “I’ve heard it’s quite hard to impress someone as yourself, someone capable of seeing more than most can. I think I’ll keep my secrets for now, until there is something that you could provide me in return. The Bonajade Exchange is known for making equal trades, is it not?”

Jade chuckles under her breath, leaning in closer to examine Dr. Alicera. “Yes, I see no value in making deals that aren’t mutually beneficial, I’m always looking for long-term investments,” she whispers the last words into Dr. Alicera’s ears. Topaz strangles back a petulant whimper at seeing how close Jade is getting to this random woman. “However, in this instance, I am hoping we can agree on a…favor of sorts. It’s not entirely ethical, but I can promise that it will benefit our little Kakavasha.”

Dr. Alicera steps back. “I will not do anything to harm my patient,” she says resoundingly.

“Do not worry, it won’t harm him,” she replies, stepping back into Dr. Alicera’s space. “I already have all the things you’d need to complete this favor. I may not see your desires, but I do see the flicker of curiosity about who the father of Kakavasha’s babies are.”

Dr. Alicera deflates. “Ugh. I try to not get invested in the lives of others, but there’s something so utterly…baffling about those two, it’s hard to not be curious. I take it that you both agree then, they are being foolish for thinking that Dr. Ratio is not the biological father.”

“Yes! Thank you, finally someone is being reasonable,” Topaz says, finally snapping out of her stupor of watching the woman she idolizes flirt with someone else. “But Madam Jade, Vasha told us that Ratio is sterile…”

“Yes, he did. I don’t believe the test is lying either, but I’m sure someone as esteemed as Dr. Alicera is capable of uncovering the secrets that lurk behind Ratio’s desires.” Jade gives the shorter woman a sultry and venomous smile.

Dr. Alicera looks at her scrutinizingly. “I am not opposed to reviewing the records of Ratio’s previous fertility test should the documents be released to me legally. However, I will want something in exchange for this favor, since I am still taking a large risk.”

“Sure,” Jade replies sweetly, while staring at Dr. Alicera hungrily. “How about I take you to dinner in thanks? I can give you the materials you need then. I know just the place to take a lovely woman like you.”

Dr. Alicera stutters and flushes deeply. “I…suppose that shall suffice as a meeting place to discuss a more equal trade for my services, Madam Jade.” Dr. Alicera turns to leave, but she cranes her head back to look at Jade as she says, “If you are to take me to dinner, then it would be best that you call me Nissar. I’m sure you’ll find a way to get the details to me, I shall take my leave now,” Nissar says as she all but runs out of the superstore.

Jade looks over at Topaz, who looks like a puppy that got kicked while it was already down. “Oh, my dear Jelena,” she says as she caresses the younger woman’s cheek. She leans in and whispers hotly in her ear, “You aren’t the only one interested in older women,” before leaving a chaste kiss on her cheek.

Topaz looks like her computational matrix is about to explode as Jade chuckles and pulls away, walking toward the car her driver brought. “Oh, and Jelena~ I want those reports on my desk by tomorrow morning.”

“Yes– Ma’am,” Topaz manages to stutter out, still holding the cheek where Jade kissed her. Jade is her boss. Even if she does have a little crush on the older woman, it would go against everything she wrote in Diversity in Action to engage in a romantic or sexual relationship with a superior. She’s also happily in a lesbian polycule! Her social, romantic, and sexual needs are being met, so why does she feel like she needs to burn down this entire capitalistic hellscape of a mall with Dr. Alicera in it?!

♠︎♡◆♧

VashaVeritas—the name that Topaz calls them when she’s too lazy to delineate them as separate people—reach their house just as the sun sets. They decided to pick up some groceries so that Veritas could make them a homemade meal after such a long day. They are laughing and idly chatting as they unlock the door to Veritas’ abode, when they both stop dead in their tracks.

The house is a disaster. It looks like a hurricane blew through the space. Veritas’ current sculpture project is on the floor, Aventurine’s business proposals are scattered and crumpled across the room. Their framed art the catcakes made for them were ripped off the wall, leaving dusty holes in their luxury walls. They apprehensively walk into the space, seeking out the obvious culprits of this mess. Usually, Kakavasha finds the three catcakes huddled up in a corner, putting on their best teary eyes to try and weasel their way out of punishment. He doesn’t see them, though. Instead, he sees a note left on the only clean surface in their home: the kitchen table.

As he opens the envelope, he finds a folded paper inside, and on that paper, he finds a letter made from words clipped out of a magazine. At first, dread drops in his stomach, thinking that someone stole his beloved catcakes and left a cliche ransom demanding a million credits wired to a shell account or his babies will die a tragic death. However, his fear melts into confusion as he reads the note:

We, the catcakes: Spade, Heart, and Club, have been mistreated for too long. Too long have we suffered without consistent meals. Too long have we been deprived of nightly bellyrubs. Our work in this house has gone underappreciated and underpaid.

Due to this negligence, we, the catcakes, are providing notice of unionization and notice of strike. We shall not complete our next project intended for donation to the IPCs upcoming silent auction for the stellaron-induced cancer research fundraiser until these demands are met:

1. The catcakes will be fed five times a day. One meal of wet food in the morning. Three snacks of dry food through an automatic feeder while Dads are away, and one meal of wet food in the evening. The wet food shall be gourmet, using ethically and sustainably yielded meat and seafood.

2. The catcakes will receive belly rubs for 1 hour each night, promptly upon Dads’ return to the house.

3. Kakavasha will expel the demon of an ancient dragon that has been living within Veritas to ensure the safety and prosperity of this household. This is non-negotiable.

Stand in paw-er,

Spade, Union Steward

Kakavasha reads the note. Then re-reads it. Then re-reads it again. His head starts pounding harder each time he reads “union,” “strike,” and “ethically and sustainably.”

Veritas comes up behind him, putting a hand on his lower back. “Love, what does the note say?”

Kakavasha whips around, manically and aggressively. He shoves the letter into Veritas’ hands before screeching, “Spade! Where the fuck are you, you little gremlin!”

Veritas reads the note, focusing particularly on the third bullet point. “Demon of an ancient dragon… Spade has always had a strong imagination, but perhaps we should enroll her in some basic grammar courses…” He mutters to himself while Kakavasha throws debris around the house, searching for the catcakes.

He sets the note down, focusing on Kakavasha. “Anima mea, would you like to discuss this?”

Kakavasha growls at him ferally. “No fucking pets of mine will be unionizing. They’ve been too spoiled in the presence of Kakavasha, it’s about time they meet Director Aventurine of Stratagems,” he says with an eerie, anxiety-inducing, power-hungry grin on his face and glint in his twitching eye.