Work Text:
osamuizm is streaming!
Dazai watched as the chat room started to flood in numbers. 0 viewers, 65 viewers, 458 viewers. He watched as the numbers piled on each other, updating at a choppy pace. The stream was struggling to count the hundreds of viewers that joined per second.
Soon enough, comments started to fill the box on the side of the screen.
hi dazaii
Play COD
FIRST!!
After those comments, they all started to run rampant. Dazai wasn’t paying attention to the words flowing through his chat. Instead, he was more focused on his out of frame shotgun.
Beside his colorful setup was a beautiful Browning Citori. 20 gauge with a 26-inch barrel, to be exact. Its comb was a warm polished walnut brown with a forearm of the same kind. He liked to look down the seemingly bottomless barrel by its muzzle. It was a test to the power he had in his hands. To Dazai, it was satisfying to know that the occurrence of his suicide was in his control.
Though, with that knowledge, the shotgun always ended up tucked away in the corner of his closet.
On that stream, it didn’t have to be anymore. This time it was leaning against his setup.
Dazai’s face was on full screen for this event. He was no longer the facecam in the corner of his usual streams, rather, his viewers were now allowed to see him more closely with the newfound quality. They could now see the layers of bandages on every sliver of his skin, the stray strand of hazel hair on his pale face, and each wrinkle of the plain t-shirt– that would soon be stained with splatters of scarlett, that he had purposefully chosen for that stream.
omg look at his bandages..
get on fn
why the fullcam?
“Alright guys, I'll make this quick.” Dazai had said, interrupting the awkward silence of the stream. A faint smile could be detected on his face before he suddenly stood up from his gaming chair. Now his face was no longer in view, just his torso.
The fabric of his white clothing folded with each movement he made. Dazai reached for the firearm, his leg lifting slightly to balance himself as he leaned forward to the side of the camera.
HES SURPRISMG US OMFG
No more bandages??
Unfortunately for his viewers, Dazai came back with his bandages still on. This time, he was dragging something hidden under the table. He grinned stupidly at the cluelessness of his viewers. Though in their defense, he had named his stream rather vaguely. Ominously, if you think about it hard enough.
“ JOIN OR MISS IT ” The title read.
The muzzle of the Citori peeked over the desk, sneaking in a preview of what was to happen in the next five minutes. It rested comfortably against the edge of his cushioned chair as Dazai peered over his setup to get a clearer view of his view count. 1,495 viewers. That’s not too bad, he thought. Dazai supposed that he should get it over with. There wasn’t much material to stall his death with; not that he wanted to. He, despite that, wanted to interact with his viewers before his departure. It was common courtesy. You don’t just kill yourself without a word.
“Hah,” he chuckled at a comment, “a surprise? I mean, you guys aren’t wrong, but what do you think I’m going to surprise you with?" Dazai asked with a tone of playfulness in his voice. He gripped the muzzle with his right hand just a little harder, the hollow steel cold to the touch as it slowly absorbed the scarce heat of his brittle hands.
giveaway??
NO MORE BANDAGES!!!
“You guys are close,” Dazai mumbled as he leaned forward to read the stream of comments, the lie slipping out of his mouth like second nature. “But not close enough. Here, I’ll give you guys a hint.”
He leaned back into the gaming chair, making it roll back so the shotgun would have some space with him.
He bent down below the table to the point where only his hair was visible. Dazai maneuvered the Citori, his left hand taking hold of the dip of its polished grip as the other hand remained on the muzzle. The streamer came back into view, his body now proudly decorated with the firearm as it gleamed in the light of his room. The shotgun seemed like it was made just for his bandaged hands with the way it fit into his gaunt grip.
“Does this help?” Dazai said with an overly happy smile, watching the stream chat begin to flood like never before.
OMG?? DONT HURT YROUSLF
nice
Hear me out..
He let the butt of it rest on his right thigh, pointing it at the ceiling. His happiness was ever growing as his view count started to skyrocket seconds later. He assumed someone posted an image of him with his shotgun in hand, Twitter, maybe. Either way, his view count reached an astonishing 5,247. Though his regular streams always passed the five-thousand point, it never occurred to him that they were real people. It was just a number to Dazai, not living human beings that sat down and took their time of day to watch him.
God, he wanted to get it over with already. His death was just out of reach, and he was the only person keeping him away from it. They were all lucky that Osamu let them watch him. He could’ve scheduled the stream to start when clots of brain matter painted the walls of the room; hell, he could’ve done it privately, but no. If he didn’t want to live as a person, then he could live as four-thousand pixels of bloodshed that only loosened in quality with each screenshot and download, obscured for only the most curious of people. Maybe he could live in someone's sincere thoughts if he was lucky.
“I’m getting a little tired.” Dazai directed the shotgun a little closer to him, the hollow muzzle now threateningly pointed at the streamer’s cheek. “I’ll just get it over with it. I think that–” He glanced at the ever growing number, “six thousand of you is a decent amount.”
He lifted the Citori, letting it hover over his thigh before resting it between the minimal space between his legs. It weighed down on the dark leather of his gaming chair. Dazai shifted the direction of his firearm, tilting his head up so he could nudge it under his chin.
“I’m not sure what to say.” Dazai started, the shotgun pressing unmercifully against his jaw with each movement. He could feel a dull ache in his chin building up. “I love you guys, if that’s what you want to hear.”
The streamer’s beige ceiling took most of his view. Dazai couldn’t really see his chat, but he could see how fast it ran. It didn’t take a genius to see the unwavering speed of each comment. Each sentence was blurred in his peripheral vision– not that he could read a full one if he paid attention anyway. His bliss was just in reach. He’d wanted this for so long; it was only convenient that thousands were there to watch him perform.
His bandaged hand, now damp from sweat, tightened on the slender trigger.
“Goodbye.”