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Floating.
Chuuya supposes he could call it that.
When all gravity is suddenly gone from his control, there isn’t a more accurate description. A certain weightlessness. It doesn’t even matter what’s around him, be it water or maybe plasma. It just feels like the cold grip of the cosmos coming to take him somewhere. He can only hope it’s somewhere like a home.
A chilling touch of space reminds him that without the gravity he so often takes under his hold, he is truly nothing. Just another entity in space.
Floating.
Aimlessly.
and Endlessly.
Is this truly how you wanted it to end?
Floating?
Oh poor human, is that what you think this is?
Floating?
Chuuya wants to ask this voice he hears, ‘What else could it even be?’ He can only guess this thing he hears to be the supposed god, Arahabaki, who dwells in this vessel with him. It’s close enough to being familiar—perhaps even a friend—in these uncertain moments. However, Arahabaki has never spoken to him in all the years it has taken residence with him.
It’s only a god in name alone, just a calamity put inside him with the destructive force of a deity from legends past. Humans couldn’t comprehend it, so a “god” it became. So, why does it speak now, after all this time?
Does it believe itself to be a sort spirit guide?
Human, We know you can hear this.
The water hasn’t entered your precious live-giving lungs yet.
That heart of yours which you believe to be so tainted still beats.
While the god, or perhaps some hallucination in his head, continues to speak, Chuuya can feel that weightless sensation as he ponders “Arahabaki’s” words. Was it attempting to help him? Or was it mere distraction from his current bliss? There’s a part of him that wants to tune it out. ‘Let me relax’, he wants to say, but decides to keep that thought to himself. Maybe he finds the voice a nice companion to join him on his gentle cruise through the void.
Floating. Floating.
What a wonderful sensation. Finally, his mind can be at peace. No more stress, no more struggle, no more suffering. He could finally lay his racing thoughts to rest.
That vast emptiness embraces him.
Oh, foolish human.
Floating? Floating?
You do not understand. Space is not what surrounds you. Peace is not where your mind is at. A delusion is all you see and hear.
You are falling down a pit of lies.
A cold blankness is about to consume Us whole. Your lungs and heart will collapse under the pressure.
Foolish human. Can you not see?
All Chuuya sees a beautiful tapestry of stars, little specks of light gently raining down on him. A masterpiece worth its weight in gold. Such a sight must be home and how he yearns to be there. A place for this weary soul to finally rest and sleep for a long eternity.
Oh, what bliss it would be.
This lost entity that drifts in space, will have a place to belong. Away from Yokohama, away from the Port Mafia, away from… him.
Human.
What you believe to be this
‘Floating’
is killing you.
Human.
We will cease to exist, you know this.
Human.
This is not bliss. This is death.
You are
Drowning.
‘Drowning?’
Chuuya asks of the “god” that has taken residence in his mind.
Drowning…
The soothing coolness begins to take on a much more sinister chill. That pleasant weightlessness suddenly feels crushing, damning. That peaceful serenity that had settled his mind has left him with nothing but anxiety. That peaceful starry night is pitch black. The cool sensation is only icy water invading his lungs. A freeze takes over his mind and body, he can’t even move.
His heart races. He knows he’s going to die.
Drowning. Drowning.
Then Death.
You know what must be done.
You know that you don’t have another choice.
Put your trust in it. It is the only hope you have.
Drowning. Death. Drowning.
Panic builds inside Chuuya. Is there anyone who will save him? Will there be anyone to wake him up? Tears sting at his eyes, only adding to the crushing water around him. He’s never going to wake up, not without D—
Death. Drowning. Death.
His mind repeats like a broken record.
You’ll wake up.
He will wake you up.
Say the chant. Say the chant. Say the chant.
You will wake up.
Chuuya’s head pounds with pressure, leaving his brain utterly useless to come up with another plan. “Arahabaki’s” plan seems like suicide. Yet, he’s fully aware that he doesn’t have much of a choice. There was barely a choice to begin with.
He places his trust in the wrathful “god”.
Say the chant.
Chuuya takes a deep breath in, only to be met with water rushing inside his mouth, clogging up his vocal chords.
“Oh grantors of Dark Disgrace...”
Bubbles take his spoken words but he doesn’t back down.
“You need not...”
The water forces itself inside his lungs, crushing and pushing, making his chest ache. His head feels so dizzy.
Drowning.
Dying.
Say it.
Live, dammit.
“You need not wake me again.”
A different blackness overtakes him as Chuuya relinquishes control to the destructive power locked away deep inside of him.
***
A coldness cradles Chuuya gently. This cold isn’t harsh or freezing and it’s definitely a real sensation. It’s a comforting touch he’s grown used to over these many years. A gentle type of cold.
It is a touch of pure love.
Blue eyes blink. “...D-Dazai?” He asks though he knows the answer. Who else could be it, really? Who else could wake him from Arahabaki’s rage?
A warm smile greets him, along with warm, brown eyes.
“You saved the day, Chuuya, and you saved yourself,” Dazai says, as he looks down toward Chuuya. “And the enemy has been eliminated, thanks to you.”
A soft but tired smile graces Chuuya’s face. His body aches and shakes, telling him it was a job well done. “Good. Your plan worked, then,” Relief washes over him.
“Truthfully, I almost thought I had lost you back there, when you fell through the ice,” Dazai admits, looking like he almost wants to cry. “I didn’t know how to save you. It all happened so fast…”
Chuuya does his best to smile as he uses what’s left of his strength to reach a hand up to Dazai’s cheek. He gently wipes a tear away. “But you did save me, Dazai. You stopped Corruption , like you always do, and you brought me back.”
“You could’ve drowned, that wasn’t supposed to happen. And I just stood back and did nothing,” Tears start to flow more readily down Dazai’s face. “I should have done something, anything more.”
“It’s alright, Dazai. I’m still here and does anything else really matter?” Chuuya smiles before a fatigue overtakes him. “T-thank you, Dazai. For all that you do and all that you are.”
Chuuya’s hand loses the last of its strength and it falls limp, but he still smiles. “Now, bring me back home, you bandaged bastard.”
Dazai chuckles, as he chokes back the last of his tears. “Of course, partner.” He leans down and offers Chuuya a chaste kiss on the forehead, lulling the redhead off to a safe and peaceful sleep.