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One night, Thor was jumping on his bed.
Crack! Smash! Thud!
The bed broke.
“Oh, shit!” Thor landed on his big butt.
“Clint!” Natasha said. “Did you hear that?”
“No,” he said. “What is it?”
“A loud crash, from Thor’s room!” she said. “I hope he’s okay…”
“He’s probably just hitting stuff with his hammer again.”
“I’m going to check, just in case.”
“That’s stupid, but okay. Whatever. I’m gonna find something to eat.”
“Oh, no. Bed broke. Pieces. Big trouble…” Thor moaned.
Natasha knocked on the door.
Maybe if I don’t answer, they’ll think that I’m sleeping, and they’ll go away… Thor thought.
“Thor!” Natasha said. “Are you okay in there?!”
“Oh, yes! I’m perfectly okay! I just dropped my hammer!”
“Oh!” Natasha said. “So, that thudding noise wasn’t the sound of your big sexy body hitting the floor?”
“Nope! Okay, I’m going to sleep now. Good night!”
“Umm… okay,” she said. “Good night.”
It’s only 6:30, though…
Later that night, Natasha was cooking dinner.
“What are you cooking?” Tony asked.
“Breasts,” she said. “Chicken breasts.”
“Great!” he said. “My second favorite kind!”
Thor smelled the chicken cooking, and he crept out of his room.
“Oh, hey,” Natasha said. “Decided not to sleep after all?”
“I smell food!” he grinned. “Time to eat?”
“No,“ she said. “Go back to bed until we’re done.”
After dinner, Thor plopped his huge sweaty body down onto Tony’s expensive, fancy couch.
“Seriously, dude? Seriously? Why not go to your bedroom instead?” Tony said.
“It’s too early for that. I tried to sleep earlier, but I just wasn’t tired,” Thor said.
“Ugh fine,” Tony said. “But if you get my couch dirty, you’ll be paying for it.”
Then, he started working on some sort of project.
Soon, it was almost midnight.
Thor was trying to sleep, but he couldn’t. There were too many loud mechanical noises
“MAN OF METAL!!!” he shouted.
“What do you want?!” Tony snarled.
“I want to sleep,” Thor said. “Can you stop being so loud?”
“NO! This is important! Go back to your room if you don’t wanna hear it!”
“I CAN’T!!!”
“What!” Tony asked. “Why not?”
“Uh… because… I’m… too big for my room…”
“Ha!” Tony laughed. “Maybe you need to stop eating hourly snacks!”
“That’s not funny!” Thor whined. “I need a new room, NOW!”
“We can set one up for you tomorrow, okay?” Tony said. “Right now, you’ll just have to deal with the small room.”
“Ugh! Fine!” Thor stomped away to his room and fell asleep on the floor.
The next morning, Tony knocked on Thor’s door.
“It’s time!”
Thor tried to get up.
“OW!” he yelled. “My back!”
Tony laughed.
“Did you hurt yourself in there?”
“I’m fine,” Thor said. “I just slept in a weird position.”
“Okay. Please come out soon. I think that I found a good spot for your new room.”
A few minutes later, Tony showed Thor his new room.
“Do you like it?” he asked the Asgardian.
“Yes, I do! There is plenty of room for me to move my big body around. It’s perfect!”
“Okay,” Tony said. “Steve will help your move your stuff.”
“M-m-move my stuff? No thanks! I can do it myself!”
“But you said your back was hurting, didn’t you?” Steve asked.
“Oh, no, I’m fine! It feels better now!” Thor said.
“Nonsense!” Steve said. “Let us help, so that you don’t hurt yourself again.”
“Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!” Thor curled up on the floor and held his head.
Steve opened the door to Thor’s old room and saw the broken bed.
“Uh… Tony?” he said. “You’d better come look at this.”
Tony rushed over to look.
“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?!”
“It looks like he broke his bed!” Steve said.
“If he broke the bed, then he doesn’t deserve another one!” Tony said.
“Okay!” Steve grinned. “You’re in charge of the building, Tony.”
“And he isn’t getting a new bed, either… unless he pays for it himself!” Tony laughed. “Ha, ha, ha!”
The End”