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One day, Bruce Banner had a beard for some reason.
"Hey, Tony! I decided to grow a beard! What do you think?" he said.
"Yuck! Why?" Tony said.
"I thought it would make me cool, just like you!" Bruce said.
"Nope! It's just ugly! Shave it off! NOW!" Tony said.
"He's right! You are very cool! How does one become so cool?" Dr. Strange said, entering the room through a magical portal.
"You have to be famous, smart, and rich!" Tony said.
Dr. Strange sighed. "I wish that I was still rich."
"Hmm... I know a way that you could be rich again!" Tony said.
"Oh, yeah? What is it?" Dr. Strange said.
"Get another job!" Tony said.
"That's not funny, Stark!" Dr. Strange whined.
"I'm not laughing. I know of a job that you could have... if you want it." Tony said.
"Tell me what the job is," Dr. Strange said.
"We need a team doctor!" Tony said.
"Hmm... I don't really practice medicine anymore. I'm a Doctor of Magic now," Strange said.
"Do you want the extra money or not?!" Tony said.
"I do! Fine! I'll take the job!" Dr. Strange relented.
"Good. I'll show you where to set up your office," Tony said.
"I wish I had an office," Black Widow said sexily as she slipped into the room.
"Why? Do you need one?" Tony asked.
"I just think that having one would make me feel more important! Right now, I'm the most useless Avenger," Black Widow whined.
"You're not useless! You're good for lots of things!" Tony lied.
"Such as?" Black Widow said, with the same sexy voice that she had been using before she started whining.
"Uh... ummm... Moral support!" Tony said, sweating nervously.
"That's not good enough! I want an office!" Black Widow whined.
"You need a business to have an office. What would your business even be?" Tony probed.
"Ummm... uh... well... a nail salon!" Black Widow panicked.
"Sounds dumb, but okay. I'll set an office up for you first, because you're beautiful!" Tony said.
"Okay! Thank you!" Black Widow said.
"Ooh! You're starting a nail salon?" Thor said.
"Yes, I am! Isn't that great?" Black Widow said, nearly in tears from excitement.
"Indeed! I would love to be your first customer!" Thor said.
"Oh! Well... uh... about that..." Black Widow said.
"You can't go, because you're a man!" Tony interjected.
"Are nail salons only for women?" Thor asked.
"Well, it certainly wouldn't be very manly of you to go!" Tony said.
"Oh, no! Next you'll be saying that carrying around purse is girly, too?" Thor worried. He owned an expensive designer purse that he had purchased from Pepper Potts a few months ago.
"YES! What's next, you're going to start wearing a dress?" Tony screamed.
"Yuck! No! Dresses are definitely girly! Besides... I would have trouble finding one to fit on my big, muscular, manly body!" Thor said, grinning mischievously.
"WHY, YOU! Stupid... idiot... YOU'RE SO RIDICULOUS!" Tony said angrily.
"Let me talk to him alone for a second," Black Widow said, once again bringing back the sexy voice.
Tony stomped off while grumbling to himself.
"Aw, Natasha! I was only messing with him!" Thor said.
"This has nothing to do with you being a man. I just was going to say, you might wanna bathe or shower first. No offense, but you kinda smell," Natasha said.
"Oh! I can do that! See you soon!" Thor said, running off.
While running, he began to doubt himself.
"Hmm... maybe my purse is too girly. I should just throw it away..." Thor said to himself.
He tossed his purse into a trash can that was randomly in the hallway for some reason.
THUD! BANG!
The trash can made a really loud noise as it collapsed under the weight!
"Oops! Did I leave something heavy in the purse?" Thor watched as the trash can hit the ground and made a huge crater in the floor.
"Did you hear that really loud noise?" Dr. Strange asked Tony.
"I did! What the hecking heck was that?!" Tony said.
"It sounded like a trash can collapsing under the weight of its garbage!" Dr. Strange said observantly.
"Oddly specific, but okay. Let's go check it out!" Tony said.
"Uh-oh! I'm in trouble!" Thor said, and ran off. He then went and took a 3-hour bath in Tony's expansive, fancy bath tub.
After finishing his bath, Thor ran into Dr. Strange.
"Strange Doctor! I did not know that you were here!" Thor said.
"Yep! And now that I'm the Team Doctor, I'll be sticking around for a while!" Dr. Strange said.
"Hey! That's right! You're a doctor! You could have helped me when I had that awful headache!" Thor said, referencing a fan fiction that I had written in the past but never published to this site.
"Don't be silly! I am…er… was a brain surgeon. I had more important things to do than cure someone's silly little headache!" Dr. Strange said snootily.
"Please give me a check-up!" Thor said.
"No," Dr. Strange said.
"Why not?" Thor asked.
"Why should I? Are you currently suffering from an injury or illness?" Dr. Strange asked.
"Well, some people say that I have excessive axillary perspiration!" Thor said.
"Yeah... no. Come back when you have a real problem," Dr. Strange said.
"Oh, okay," Thor said, walking away sadly.
He found a door marked "Natasha's Nail Salon" and barged in.
"I AM HERE TO HAVE MY NAILS DONE AT YOUR SALON!" Thor shouted.
"Oh, okay! Wow, you smell very good now! Such a nice floral scent!" Black Widow said.
"Uh-oh. It isn't too girly is it?" Thor asked.
"No, no! It's just fine! Come on, let me do your nails," Black Widow said.
Thor sat his huge butt down forcefully into a small plastic chair that had probably been purchased at the dollar store. It creaked under his weight.
Black Widow took a pair of nail clippers out of her bra.
"Snip, snip," she said.
"But why. My nails are already short," Thor said.
"Because I need something to charge extra for," Black Widow said.
"Oh, okay," said Thor, wiggling like he had to pee or something while Black Widow trimmed his already short nails.
"Quit wiggling, or I might accidentally hurt your fingers!" Natasha said.
Thor flailed and knocked over a bottle of red nail polish, spilling it.
"Agh! I'm bleeding everywhere!" Thor panicked.
"No, you're not! But you do have a little cut on your finger now, because you wouldn't sit still!" Natasha scolded.
"A cut?! I must see the doctor at once! Thor said, getting up and running out of the room.
"Damn it... I just lost a customer..." Natasha said, crying.
Thor burst into Dr. Strange's office.
"Dr. Strange! Dr. Strange! My finger has a boo boo! Can you please kiss it better?" he asked.
"No," said Dr. Strange.
"Then what can you do?" Thor asked.
Dr. Strange pointed to a box of Band-Aids in his desk.
"Oh. Okay," said Thor. He took a Band-Aid and left.
On his way out, Thor bumped into his son, Vision.
"Hello, father. I found your purse in the trash and am here to return it to you," Vision said quietly. He always spoke quietly because he felt that it promoted peace.
"Okay. Thanks..." Thor said.
Tony entered the scene.
"Squee! Two of my dads in one room!" Vision squealed.
THWAP!
Tony smacked Thor's bicep.
"Y'know, I've been thinking. Everything in moderation, y'know?" Tony said.
"No. What do you mean?" Thor asked.
"Y'know, it's okay if you have a purse. Just don't carry it all the time, y'know? Maybe just on special occasions, y'know?" Tony suggested.
"Fine," Thor said, taking the purse back from Vision.
"Oh, and I'm never digging though the trash cans again. A trash panda was in there and it attacked. I almost died,” Vision said.
"There was a trash panda in the indoor trash can?!" Thor asked.
"Yes," said Rocket.
Thor suddenly felt guilty about how he had treated the Black Widow.
"Gotta go!" he said, running back to the door marked "Natasha's Nail Salon".
This time, he sat still and let Black Widow paint his nails.
"All done!" Black Widow said when she was all done, and then noticed that Thor looked uneasy.
"Is something wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing... it's just that my head's all spinny and my stomach's all queasy and my heart's all poundy," Thor said.
"Aww... maybe you're in love!" Black Widow said.
"No," said Thor. "I think it's the fumes from the nail polish.”
"Oh," said Black Widow. "I guess we should have done this in a well-ventilated area."
"Yeah. I guess so," said Thor.
Thor smiled at Black Widow.
Black Widow smiled back at Thor.
They lived happily ever after.