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It was Morgie who spilled the beans, because of course it was Morgie.
He’d been casually talking with Hades and Hook, and the conversation had somehow turned to their respective children.
“Hey, my little hellions are a handful, but at least they aren’t Hannah levels of handful.” Morgie rolled his eyes just thinking about his basically niece.
“Hey what the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?” James barked, exhausted from dealing with his crew and children, and his mother, grandmother, former nanny, sister-in-law, and great grandmother’s harping about how he should apologize to his brother. As if he'd meant to kill the bastard in the first place. “Hannah is the most behaved of my children.”
Morgie raised an eyebrow. “Well-behaved, sure. But you don’t have to misbehave to get into all kinds of trouble. Like the stuff she’s trying to pull right now!”
James didn't like the sound of that.
Or how amused Hades was starting to look.
“What the bloody hell are you talking about?”
“Oh? Haven’t you heard?” Morgie got a wicked grin on his face. “I know something The Great Captain Hook doesn’t know?”
“Morgie, I swear on the seven seas if you don't tell me what the fuck you're rambling on about I'll keelhaul ya!”
Morgie held up his hands. “Alright, alright, yeesh. Hannah’s been doing a…what’d she call it—” He snapped his fingers, trying to remember. “—Isle representative thingamabob?”
“Hades, tell me what is going on before I string our dimwitted friend up by his intestines.” The pirate captain snapped, turning his attention to the king of the Underworld.
Hades groaned in annoyance. “Hannah’s trying to reform the Isle. Make everybody all nice or something. It’s cute, just wish she wouldn’t involve my kids.”
James took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Why him.
When he found his daughter, she was in Ursula's fish and ships seated at a table with crayons and parchment paper. A forming line of people standing next to her. There was a pirate piggy bank resting on the table.
Uliana's children (who were almost teenagers now, bloody hell how time flies) were watching from opposite sides of the restaurant, aloing with Uliana who he'd sent to watch her, and she was…at least in the same room as her, so that was good.
“Uli…what’s going on?” Hook whispered as he took in the line of people.
“Your runt’s got a business idea that people are willin’ ta pay for.” The corners of Uliana's lips quirked up slightly.
“Eh?” Hook cocked his head. “Is that what Morgie and Hades were blabbering on about?”
“Oh, so I see they told you.”
“Barely! Explain!”
Uliana rolled her eyes. “Your daughter's manipulating people into behaving.”
Hook blinked. “...And it’s working?”
“Surprisingly, yes.” Uliana handed him a piece of parchment paper. Parchment paper that had a contract scribbled in crayon on It. “She's been at it for two weeks now.”
Hook had to read the contract three times over for it to really sink in. “I don’t know whether to punish or reward her for this.”
Uliana snorted. “If you were in Auradon, and an Auradon parent, you'd probably be punishing her because ‘all manipulation is bad manipulation’ or something like that.”
Hook sniffed. That just about synched it for him. “Very well. I shall let her play peacemaker for a bit.”
One of Hannah's little friends (one of Ursula's brats) Kaliani (or was it Clever? He could have sworn his daughter and friend had referred to the girl as both at some point) snorted as she passed, a tray of slightly used candy, fried chips, and seaweed soda in hand. Heading straight for his daughter's table, making the pirate captain wonder just exactly how much she had heard. Hopefully not much.
Though, judging by the mischievous look on her brother, John's, face as he passed from the other direction Hook didn't hold his breath on that.
His eight year old daughter had manipulated one of his best friend’s older sisters into playing nice with Morgana, their middle sister. That by itself was a miracle of its own.
Setting up a trade agreement between the two and having a list of pros and cons written out for both following and breaking the contract.
The whole contract clearly having been written to play to both sisters’ egos and desires—tailored made for them, one might say. Even offering consequences to the party that broke it and setting up a reliable income via coin or trade for Hannah and her crew to enforce it.
Hook would be lying if he said he wasn’t simultaneously proud and terrified of his daughter.
Though, one begs the question of where she got all this from. She’s homeschooled, for crying out loud. And if she managed to turn out like this…well, Hook was glad he never could place her in one of the three isle schools like he did with Harriet, Harry, and CJ. They were actively taught how to crime there.
Which, when he thought about it, might explain some things about CJ.
A small tug on his sleeve tore him out of his thoughts.
He looked down.
To find the very child he'd been thinking about, beaming at him. “Daddy, I got somethin’ for ya!”
“Oh? What is it?”
“Hold out your hand!”
He did, feeling slightly scared. Whenever he held out his hand for one of his children to place something in it, it was always a crapshoot on whether he’d get a cute little craft or a handful of sludge from the docs.
Hannah dumped something into his hand.
No, not just something. Currency.
There were five mats, three silver coins, four bronze coins, five gold coins, two copper coins, two rubies, and a sapphire.
Hook stared. “Where the bloody hell did you get this kind of lolly?!”
Hannah giggled. “My job, daddy!”
“The job where you tell people how to act?” Hook’s eyes were practically bulging out of his skull.
The wee pirate nodded proudly.
Hook chuckled. Then laughed. He pulled Hannah into a hug with his good arm. “Well, my wee darling. You’re doing better than your old man. I’m proud of you.”
Hannah positively beamed at him.
(Who’s laughing now, Morgie?)
“What do you mean people are actually paying her?!” Morgie sputtered.
Right as Hades walked into their usual spot, looking…dazed? Before setting his sights on James. “Are you sure your youngest is actually human?”
“She’s her father’s daughter. I don’t know what else to tell you.” Hook had been bragging non-stop over his youngest’s…business exploits.
“Your daughter cannot be human.” Hades insisted, suspiciously grumpy.
“She is.” Hook retorted smugly.
“Then how the hell did she trick me and Maleficent into signing a behavior contract and custody schedule agreement?!”
Hook broke into laughter so hard, he almost choked. “She did?!”
“Your daughter is a witch!”
Morgie snorted. “Is she or are you and Maleficent just easily played? Notice how Persephone didn’t sign—ow!”