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\It had been two months since the crash. The Tulpar was losing food by the day. Swansea took that into his own hands and cleaned up the kitchen area. Under all that foam, a few more cans of soup were rescued along with the ingredient machine. The crew was surprised but couldn’t be more thankful that it wasn’t busted in the crash. At least now they could make a cake or two when the food supply was looking sad.
After dinner, Daisuke decided to stroll the ship, almost admiring the foam he’d gotten so used to. Sometimes he wished Swansea wouldn’t be such a hardass and cut it down a little to give them some extra space. More than anything though, he knew it was for safety. Strolling past medical to return to the lounge, Anya swung the door open with a pale face. She hadn’t been doing well lately. Daisuke took a step back and watched as she failed to notice his presence.
“Uh.. Hey, Anya?.. You doin’ okay?” Daisuke asked, taking a step forward to attempt to see what was going on.
Anya whipped her head around to face him, correcting her posture and taking her hand off her stomach.
“Yeah..Sorry, I didn’t see you there..” She gave him a soft smile, it made him feel a little better.
“Gave Curly his meds?”
“Yeah..”
There was an understanding silence as they stood there. Daisuke didn’t like the sound of his captain struggling to take medicine either, but he endured because he knew the importance of the job. Anya was strong for putting herself through that, especially after Jimmy wasn’t allowed to do the job anymore after what he did to Curly.
“You know what, I’ll take care of him for the night! Sounds pretty rough in there. Get yourself some sleep, nurse Anya!” Daisuke acted chipper, hoping to get Anya to go rest. Her face was still pale and she had a sick look in her eyes. She looked up at Daisuke again, not even realizing she’d begun to dissociate.
“Oh..Daisuke, you don’t-” She stopped and slowly moved her hand back to her stomach. He assumed her nausea was setting back in. “..Thank you, actually.”
Anya swiftly made her way into the lounge and Daisuke helped himself into medical. Curly’s gaze met his own, and Daisuke smiled as he made his way to the captain.
“Hey, Cap! Guess it’s you and me tonight. Whoop-Whoop!” He knew if Curly could, he’d be smiling. That's why he keeps his energy up around him. Daisuke could tell some people on the ship saw Curly as less of a person after the wreck, or at least less of a captain. He didn’t think that was right. Although he could admit, the slow-paced, loud breathing and hard eye contact did sometimes give him chills. Who wouldn’t be a little freaked out?
In his time of boredom, Daisuke organized and cleaned the medical room a little. He’d gotten so used to keeping the kitchen clean that he almost couldn’t stand a dirty surface now.
As he was at the sink washing his hands, the door swung open to reveal Jimmy. Daisuke’s heart sank when he noticed the axe he was carrying. Was he coming to kill the captain? After Anya and Swansea found him on top, punching Curly when he was told to give him his meds, would it be so out of character for Jimmy to kill him?..
“Daisuke?” Jimmy raised his voice as he looked around and took a few steps into medical. Daisuke wiped the dripping water from his hands onto his pants before stepping into view.
“Hey, Jimmy! Why do you have Swansea’s axe? I’m surprised he agreed to hand it over to you!” Daisuke kept a sweet and cheerful voice as he greeted Jim, although Jimmy was too focused on how the medical room was organized for the first time since the crash.
“He didn’t; fat bastard had too much to drink and fell asleep with it. Figured you’d be the last person he would get upset at for keeping it for him.” Jimmy finally made eye contact with Daisuke when he spoke before handing over the axe. Daisuke waited a moment before agreeing to take it and looking around for a place to put it.
“Uh..Yeah, I guess that makes sense?”
“Anya told me you’re on med duty. What's the matter, Anya can’t keep her food down again?” The room fell silent. Daisuke didn’t like how Jimmy talked about her, but..he felt kind of helpless when it came to intervening. It wasn’t really his place to say anything, it just made him uncomfortable.
“..How’s our beloved captain?” Jimmy pushed past Daisuke to stand over Curly, a frown washing over his face. Jimmy of all people hated seeing Curly like this. The man he’d known for so long, someone who’d helped him through thick and thin, was now lying pathetically and helpless on his deathbed. It made Jimmy feel sick too, though he’d never admit it.
“He’s as okay as he can be, y’know?” Daisuke joined him in looking over Curly and put his hand on his hip. Curly’s bandages were disgusting. Neither of them stood around long to look at them. Jimmy sighed and turned around to sit at the end of the hospital bed where there was some extra space. Daisuke realized he wasn’t planning on leaving and pulled a swivel chair over to sit close by. As much as he wanted him to leave, he thought maybe it would be good to share a little extra time together. He doesn’t know Jimmy that well, what's the harm in sticking around?
“So.. You and Curly were close, yeah?” Daisuke broke the silence as he crossed his legs and put the axe over his lap. There was nowhere else nearby to leave it, so why not hold onto it?
“We were friends.” Jimmy kept looking down into his hands but shrugged. “Close for a while.” He added.
“Yeaah-ha ha.” Daisuke tried adding to the conversation but ultimately had nothing. There was an awkward silence he didn’t know how to break for what felt like a century, filled with nothing but Curly’s heavy, struggled breathing. Finally, Jimmy lifted his head to look at Curly.
“Ain’t what he used to be. Even before the crash. The guy wasn’t any fun no more.” Jimmy admitted. It seemed like it took a lot for him to just say that. Daisuke rocked back and forth as much as the chair would let him, picking at the painted red wood of the axe.
“Well ah..I didn’t know Captain Curly for too long, but he seemed like a cool guy! Y’know, from when I knew him.” Daisuke chipped in and Jimmy glanced at him before putting his eyes back down toward Curly’s face. He stopped talking, seeming to just take it in. Taking in that one of the only people he had here and on Earth was just flesh and bones now. One of the only people who could talk him out of anything, or support him through whatever. The only person who made Jimmy believe that maybe he wasn’t that bad of a person after all.
“A lot changed before the crash. He had a new responsibility.” Jimmy finally got up from where he was sitting and leaned up against the wall instead. His eyes still refused to meet the younger boy sitting just about ten feet away from him. It was like he was keeping whatever sense of dignity and privacy he had left by not making eye contact.
“Do you know how irritating it is to hear about how much of a hot shot your friend is all the time? About how responsible he is, how “great of a captain” he was?” Jimmy’s teeth gritted together and Daisuke was left speechless. He didn’t know what to say, or if he should say anything at all. Jimmy was being..vulnerable. It was weird to watch.
“I took responsibility too. I..I helped him with his responsibilities.” Jimmy fell silent. The older, disheveled-looking man rose his head up to catch Daisuke’s eyes. It was uncomfortable. Chilling. He was purposefully making Daisuke feel unwanted in this time and this place. Daisuke wanted to leave.
“And then he tries to fucking kill us,” Jimmy murmured and shot his glance back at Curly on the bed. “What a great fucking captain.”
Daisuke felt the tension and remained silent in his seat, eyes wide at how fast things had escalated.
“It's uh..getting pretty late! How about we both head off to bed? Curly’s had his meds already tonight so I’m sure he’ll be fine!” Daisuke tried to navigate the conversation to another topic. Realistically, he was pretty tired. Someone can only be in the medical room so long before it gets boring.
“She’s been lying to us, you know.” Jimmy pitched in, his gaze fixed on Curly. Almost like he was trying to talk to him instead of Daisuke.
Daisuke waited a moment before trying to respond, waiting to see if he would elaborate.
“Uh..what are you talking about, Jim?”
“Anya.” His response was quick that time. If looks could kill, Daisuke would’ve watched Curly’s last breath by now. Jimmy slowly paced himself back over to the bed and looked down at the captain.
“That’s why you did it, right? You wanted to get rid of me. Good old Captain Curly..you really can’t trust anyone around here.” Jimmy continued to speak to Curly. Daisuke sat in silence, anxiously picking at the paint still. He knew he had to keep an eye on Jimmy around Curly but..man was this awkward. He didn’t like this at all, silently begging for another crewmate to walk in and get in the middle of this.
“She’s pregnant,” Jimmy said plainly. For the first time in what seemed like forever, the medical room was dead silent. Daisuke’s heart skipped a beat, trying to puzzle that what he’d just overheard wasn’t the truth. Jimmy gripped onto the bed and chewed his lip. It seemed like even Curly didn’t want this news, they’d all gone completely and utterly quiet.
“I talked to Swansea. I know what Anya told you.” Jimmy spoke up again, ignoring Daisuke’s presence still. His full attention was on Curly.
“How do you not lose faith in a person like that..how are you still gonna fly the flag for my team?..” Jimmy’s voice cracked and his grip tightened. Daisuke stopped scratching at the axe. He felt a swarm of anger and confusion come over him. If he was hearing this correctly..was Jimmy openly admitting to what he was suspecting? Could he ask? Should he ask? Should he remind him he’s been there all along?
As Daisuke opened his mouth to try and steer the conversation away again, he heard Jimmy chuckle.
“No. Of course, you wouldn’t. Our worst moments don’t define us after all, right?..” Jimmy went quiet like he was waiting for Curly to answer him. The room was filled with loud, shaky breathing again before Jimmy turned back around, surprising Daisuke. “We forgave him for trying to take us all down. Can’t you forgive me too?”
Jimmy’s expression softened from how he’d looked before. How could he be so relaxed to admit something so disgusting? Daisuke didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. He didn’t want to be trapped on a ship with someone so clearly unwell.
“You hurt Anya?” Daisuke spoke before he could think, the words spilling out of his mouth with bitterness. Jimmy’s reaction turned anxious by the question. He looked down toward the floor, and before Daisuke could ask anything else, he started walking to the door. Daisuke got up and quickly made it before he did, dragging the axe with him and locking it from the inside.
“You did!” Daisuke pushed him with his free hand and Jimmy stumbled backward. Daisuke was filled with too many different, overwhelming feelings. What could he even do anyway? He could talk to Jimmy, ask him why he did it, what made him do it, but where would that even go? What would change? Daisuke was silently begging someone to come help him deal with the situation, or praying maybe he would wake up soon and this would all be a fucked up dream.
“Our worst moments don't define us... I-I regret what I did.” Jimmy spoke up again, his voice filled with anxiety and frustration.
Daisuke saw red.
“That doesn’t go for rapists, Jim.” He shoved Jimmy again, this time hard enough for the older man to fall to the floor. How could he say that? How could someone so terrible truly believe they can get off without even a warning? Daisuke believed it’d been too long without one. Too late for a warning.
“Did you not have a mother? A sister? An aunt?..You-..You’re fucking gross, dude!” Daisuke walked closer and kicked Jimmy’s leg.
“Then you complain that she can’t work. You belittle her! You feel no remorse! You don’t care. You know you won’t face the consequences.” Daisuke fixed his grip on the axe, holding it at Jimmy’s feet. The adrenaline was rushing through him, every heavy beat of his heart felt like a spark running through him. He wanted nothing but the worst for this man.
“Watch it!” Jimmy yelled and tried to kick the axe further from him, or hopefully out of Daisuke’s hands. He pushed himself further back, but eventually just hit the hospital bed behind him. He couldn’t go any further.
“You’re still trying to free yourself from consequences..” Daisuke raised the axe above his head and took the few steps he had closer to Jimmy. Both their hearts were racing, Daisuke didn’t feel any control over his own actions now, like he’d been possessed to do what he was hoping was the right thing. All he could imagine was the fact this could happen. This did happen. What if it wasn’t Anya? What if it was his mother? His aunt? His family? How could someone forgive something like this? Bypass it like it couldn’t affect someone's entire life?
Daisuke took one glance up at Curly. To his surprise, Curly was staring back. He’d been watching the whole time. He’s always been watching, listening, observing. Letting Jimmy take the shortcuts through life.
Daisuke turned back down to face a wide-eyed, nervous Jimmy, squirming around the floor almost like he was trying to get back to his feet.
“I hope this hurts!..”
Daisuke closed his eyes and swung. An all too familiar motion. He imagined himself at one of his baseball games. The roar of applause and celebration once that ball hit his bat, the overwhelming warm joy that he had thinking about how proud his mom was of him. The adrenaline rushing through his blood when he felt all the eyes on him in that big open field. He felt good.
The illusion was gone quickly once he dared to open his eyes. He was met with a pool of blood beneath his feet, more and more seeping out of the gash he’d made through Jim’s skull. Fuck. Oh fuck fuck fuck! He killed him, he really fucking killed him.
Daisuke dropped the axe, the weight made it fall from Jimmy’s skull and clang to the red, wet floor. His shoes and pants were stained. A man-made stream flowed from Jimmy’s brain, and the lifeless body he’d created slumped over to join the rest of his fluid.
He started hyperventilating, backing himself into the table attempting to grab onto something, and knocking off whatever he’d previously organized before. Why did he do that? Why couldn’t Jim leave him out of all of this? Why didn’t he think before he reacted? What would his mother say? Fearsome tears rolled down from his wide brown eyes and he’d pushed himself into the wall. He wanted to get as far away from the scene as he could, refusing to believe he did that. There was no reason to, Swansea could’ve dealt with him, or the police. Why, why was it him? Why didn’t he just leave?! Why did Jimmy have to stick around anyway?
Daisuke pulled the swivel chair back toward himself as he tried to catch his breath. He sat there, going back and forth but his eyes remained stuck at the sight in front of him. He wanted to go home. He missed his mom. He missed home-cooked food, he missed a safe neighborhood, he missed school, he missed friends his age.
The room got darker and darker with every passing minute, the adrenaline surge was wearing down and his body felt slumped. His eyes shut themselves. Daisuke put his arms around himself and slumped in his chair, passing out with the new accompanied sounds of dripping and laughter.
He never wanted to do this. He just wanted to go home.