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It had been a week since Eddie left for El Paso, and Buck told himself he understood. He really did. Eddie’s whole world revolved around Christopher, as it should. Buck had been there through the storm of Eddie’s pain, seen the quiet heartbreak etched into every part of him since Chris moved to Texas. So, when Eddie announced he was leaving LA to be with his son, Buck did what any best friend would do: he supported him without question. Eddie deserved to be happy, to have his son close.
But understanding didn’t make it hurt any less.
Sitting on Eddie’s couch that day when he learned about Eddie's desire to move, Buck felt something shift. It wasn’t just the ache of losing his best friend, it was deeper than that. And that’s when it hit him. Eddie wasn’t just a friend, wasn’t just part of his life. He was the most important person in Buck’s world, second only to Maddie.
At first, Buck couldn’t quite put words to the feeling. But late at night, lying on his back and staring at the ceiling, the truth sank in. Piece by piece, it clicked into place.
His feelings for Eddie weren’t just friendship. They hadn’t been for a long time.
Eddie Diaz had quietly, irrevocably become the love of his life. A life he could not imagine without him.
Sitting alone at the bar, Buck stared at the amber liquid in his glass, swirling it slowly before taking another sip. The familiar burn in his throat wasn’t enough to numb the ache in his chest, but he kept drinking anyway. This was a lesson he’d learned long ago, people always left. They moved on, found something or someone better, and Buck was left behind. He should have known Eddie would leave too.
Buck wasn’t the kind of person anyone chose to stay for. He was never someone’s first choice or their most important person.
Tommy breaking up with him had stung, though Buck still didn’t fully understand why. He thought things were fine between them. Sure, he hadn’t been head over heels in love, but it had been nice—comforting, even—to have someone. Someone to take to dinner, someone to hold late at night after a rough shift. He missed that.
It hurt, sure, but not like this.
When Eddie left for El Paso, it felt like a part of Buck had been torn away. Like someone had reached into his chest, ripped out his heart, and twisted it until there was nothing left but pain.
At first, he told himself it was normal. Eddie was his best friend, the one person who’d always been by his side no matter what. Losing that would hurt anyone. But the more he thought about it, the harder it was to explain the depth of the ache.
It wasn’t just the absence of a friend. It wasn’t just loneliness.
It was something deeper. Eddie wasn’t just anyone to him. Eddie was everything. And losing him wasn’t something Buck knew how to survive.
A pretty blonde slid onto the barstool next to Buck, her confident smile catching his attention. She was gorgeous, blonde hair that shimmered under the dim lights, bright eyes, and a figure that checked all the boxes of what used to be Buck’s type.
“So, why the long face?” she asks, her tone teasing but curious. “Did your girlfriend dump you?”
Buck lets out a small laugh, more of a huff really, and takes another sip of his drink. “Something like that.”
“Ah, heartbreak,” she says knowingly, leaning slightly closer. “Usually, I’m the one getting a free drink, but I guess tonight, you need it more than me.”
Her smile is infectious, and Buck finds himself chuckling despite the heaviness that has settled over him all night. “Thanks for that,” he says, managing a faint smile.
They fell into easy conversation, her flirtation light but persistent. She was funny, charming even, and Buck knew if this had been a few years ago, he wouldn’t have hesitated. He would have taken her number, or skipped that part entirely, and let the night lead wherever it wanted to.
But as she laughed at something he said, leaning in just enough for her perfume to drift toward him, Buck feels a strange disconnect. She was gorgeous, she was available, and yet… he wasn’t feeling it.
His mind wandered, unbidden, to Eddie. He thought of the way Eddie’s laugh sounded when he wasn’t holding back, the way his face lit up when Christopher was happy. He thought of how it felt to be around Eddie, like he belonged somewhere, like he mattered.
Buck sights inwardly. What is wrong with him?
He realizes the blonde is still talking, and he forces himself to pay attention. She deserves that much. Maybe he should sleep with her. She’s exactly his type, and he is single, after all. But even as the thought crosses his mind, it feels hollow.
The truth is, Buck 1.0 wouldn’t have hesitated. He’d have already charmed her into a ride home and let himself get lost in the moment. But now? He couldn’t shake the nagging thought that it wouldn’t fix anything. It wouldn’t fill the empty space Eddie left behind.
Maybe he should just give up entirely, he muses darkly. Become a priest or something. Celibacy seems easier than trying to figure out what’s wrong with him. Not that he’s particularly religious, but he likes to think Jesus wouldn’t abandon him the way everyone else seems to.
The blonde’s voice pulls him back to reality. She’s waiting for his answer to something, her smile still hopeful. Buck smiles back faintly, tipping his glass to her.
“Thanks for the drink and the chat,” he says, standing up. “But I think I’m calling it a night.”
As he walks out of the bar, he realizes he doesn’t even feel bad about leaving. Somehow, that feels more unsettling than anything else.
****
The call came late at night, jarring Buck out of a restless half-sleep. He fumbled for his phone, blinking against the light of the screen. It was Chimney.
“Hey, Chim,” Buck said groggily, but the urgency in Chimney’s voice on the other end made him sit up straight.
“Maddie’s missing,” Chimney said, his words clipped and shaky.
Buck’s stomach dropped. “What? What do you mean missing?”
Chimney exhaled sharply, his breath hitching. “I just got home from my shift. Jee was asleep in her bed, but Maddie wasn’t here. At first, I thought—” He paused, his voice breaking for a moment before he forced himself to continue. “I thought maybe she was spiraling again. That she’d… left, like before. But, Buck, she wouldn’t leave Jee alone. Not like this.”
Buck’s heart raced, his mind scrambling for answers. “Have you called the police?”
“Yeah,” Chimney said. “I called them right before I called you. I didn’t know who else to—” He cut himself off, swallowing hard. “I thought maybe… maybe she’d reached out to you, said something?”
“No,” Buck said immediately, his throat tight. “I haven’t heard from her. But Chim, we’ll find her. She wouldn’t just… disappear like this.”
Buck tried to believe his own words, but unease gnawed at him. Maddie had been through so much, but leaving Jee alone didn’t fit. Something was wrong.
Deeply wrong.
The days that followed were a blur of relentless activity and sleepless nights. Buck threw himself into the hunt for the serial killer who had kidnapped Maddie, pushing himself past exhaustion, past reason. There was no room in his mind for anything else—not Eddie, not Tommy, not even his own crumbling emotions. Every waking moment was consumed by the desperate search for his sister.
At night, when most people would have tried to rest, Buck stayed up, poring over every piece of information he could find. Every clue, every pattern that might point them closer to where Maddie had been taken. Sleep felt like a betrayal, and when he did finally close his eyes, the nightmares were worse.
It didn’t take long before his overreach caught up with him. Athena had scolded him more than once, her voice firm but tinged with sympathy.
“You’re not a cop, Buck. You can’t just insert yourself into an active investigation,” she’d said, blocking his path into the precinct when he’d shown up with more “helpful insights” that weren’t his place to share.
“I’m not going to sit on my hands, Athena!” Buck had snapped back. “This is Maddie we’re talking about, my sister. I can’t just stand here and do nothing.”
“And what do you think you’re doing now?” she countered, her eyes narrowing. “You’re not helping, Buck. You’re going to burn yourself out or worse, get yourself in trouble.”
Still, he couldn’t stop. He had to do something . Maddie had suffered so much already. How much more could one person endure? And where the hell was this killer now? Every hour that passed felt like a lifetime.
He couldn’t help but wonder, in the darkest corners of his mind, what kind of cosmic joke he and Maddie had been born into. Crappy parents, a childhood filled with neglect, and a growing list of traumas that seemed to follow them everywhere they went. How much bad luck could two people carry?
When the police finally uncovered a lead on where Maddie might be held, Buck was already talking to Athena providing more of his “clues”. Ignoring his own safety, he insisted on going to the scene with Athena. His anxiety bubbled over as they drove, and he kept talking, desperate for her to look at the clues he’d pieced together himself. The lead, however, was solid enough that there was no need for his input now.
When they pulled up to the dilapidated house on the outskirts of the city, Athena parked and reached for her gun.
“You wait in the car, Buck,” she orders, her voice firm, leaving no room for argument as she gets out of the car.
Buck scrambles to unbuckle himself, already following her. “There’s no way I’m staying in here! My sister is in there!” he says, his voice trembling as he locks eyes with Athena.
Athena stops, turning to him with an exasperated sigh. “Buck, I need you to respect my order. We only have one chance to get Maddie back alive and well. If you go in there without thinking, you could cost her everything.”
He swallows hard, his hands shaking. “I’ll stay behind you, I swear. But I have to come.”
She studies him for a long moment, then lets out a heavy breath, knowing full well there’s no stopping him. “Fine. But promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
“I promise,” he says, though the desperation in his eyes gives her little confidence.
Together, they approach the dark, creaking house. Athena moves with precision, her gun raised, every step deliberate as they enter. The air is heavy with mildew and silence, broken only by the faint creak of the floorboards beneath their feet.
Suddenly, a muffled sound echoes from the back of the house. It’s faint but unmistakable. Someone is there.
Athena gestures for Buck to stay close, but the moment he registers the noise, something in him snaps. His fear, his worry, his desperation—everything takes over. He bolts toward the sound without thinking, his heart hammering in his chest.
“Buck, stop!” Athena shouts, chasing after him with her gun at the ready.
He burst into the room at the end of the hallway, his eyes instantly locking on Maddie. She was tied to a chair, her face pale, her mouth taped shut, her eyes wide with terror.
“Maddie!” he cries, rushing toward her. But before he can take another step, a blur of motion explodes from the corner of the room. A woman with wild, curly hair lunges at him, a knife glinting in her hand.
The sharp, searing pain in his lower abdomen came before Buck even fully registered what was happening. He staggers but manages to shove her away, his instincts taking over as she charges at him again, the blade flashing dangerously.
“Drop the knife!” Athena’s commanding voice cuts through the chaos as she enters, her gun steady and trained on the woman.
Buck, fueled by adrenaline, grabs the woman’s wrist in a desperate motion, twisting it until the knife clatters to the floor. Before she can react, Athena tackles her to the ground, expertly pinning her arms behind her back and snapping handcuffs onto her wrists.
With the attacker subdued, Buck stumbles to Maddie, his shaking hands tearing the tape from her mouth as he fumbles with the ropes binding her to the chair. “Maddie,” he chokes out, tears streaming down his face. “Are you hurt?”
Her voice breaks as she sobs his name, “Buck! Buck!”
“You’re fine now,” he says, his voice cracking as he pulls her into a tight hug. “I’ve got you. You’re safe. I’ve got you.”
But as he pulls back, the sharp pain in his stomach flares, hot and unbearable. He glances down, his breath catching in his throat as he sees the blood soaking the front of his shirt and dripping to the floor in dark, steady drops.
“Maddie…” he whispers, his voice faint as the world starts to tilt.
“Buck!” Maddie screams, her voice piercing and frantic as he collapses.
The last thing he hears is her desperate cries echoing around him, fading into the distance as the world goes black, and the darkness pulls him under.
****
“Edmundo, your phone is ringing!” Eddie’s dad calls from the living room, his voice sharp and impatient.
Eddie sights, running a hand over his face as he stands from the kitchen table. He had been spending the afternoon at his parents’ house, trying to make the most of his time with Christopher. Things were still in transition, Eddie hadn't found a permanent home in El Paso yet. For now, he was crashing in a dingy hotel room just a few miles away.
The idea of staying at his parents’ house had never even crossed his mind. For one, they hadn’t offered, and Eddie wasn’t about to ask. But more than that, he couldn’t stomach the thought of living under their roof again, enduring the constant barrage of complaints about his choices. His work. His love life. His parenting. Every visit seemed to come with the same passive-aggressive undertones about how he was failing as a father and a son. Eddie had spent years fighting to prove himself, but being around them made him feel like he was sixteen all over again—angry, frustrated, and unheard.
No, the hotel was fine. Crappy as it was, it was quiet.
“¡Ya voy!” Eddie shouts back.
Christopher sat nearby, scrolling on his tablet, earbuds in and an expression that could only be described as teenage indifference. Eddie glances over at his son. Things between them were… improving. Slowly. Christopher had been caught off guard by the news that Eddie was moving back to El Paso. He hadn’t exactly jumped into his dad’s arms when they’d seen each other after months apart, but Eddie had seen the flicker of emotion in Chris’s eyes—the happiness he wasn’t ready to fully express.
Eddie knew his son missed him, even if the angsty attitude covered it up. There were little signs: the way Chris stayed just close enough to keep Eddie in his peripheral vision, the way he asked about Buck without realizing it gave away how much he cared.
Hitting the answer button on his phone, Eddie sights again. He is still trying to find his footing here—trying to find his way back to being the dad Christopher needed him to be.
Bobby was calling him. It was the first call he’d received from him since taking his indefinite leave two weeks ago.
“Eddie,” Bobby begins, his tone somber, measured.
The gravity in Bobby’s voice hits Eddie like a freight train. His stomach twists into knots. He knows this tone, the one he uses when bracing someone for something terrible. Eddie’s hand grips the edge of the counter, his knuckles turning white. “Bobby, hi. What’s going on?”
There’s a pause, long enough for dread to crawl up Eddie’s spine. “Something’s happened,” Bobby says finally. “With Buck and Maddie. They’re in the hospital. Buck is in critical condition.”
Eddie’s heart plummets, a cold rush coursing through him as tears spring to his eyes. “What? What happened?”
“Maddie was missing,” Bobby explains, his words heavy with grief. “I don’t know if Buck told you, but she’s been gone for days. We found her earlier today. She’d been kidnapped. Buck was with Athena when they located her. He… he tried to save Maddie, but he was stabbed by the kidnapper.”
“Stabbed?” Eddie’s voice cracks as tears roll freely down his face. Across the room, his father glances up, frowning at Eddie’s sudden outburst. Eddie ignore him. “How bad is it?”
“He’s in surgery right now,” Bobby says. “It’s serious. I’ll keep you updated as soon as I know more.”
Eddie’s mind races, trying to grasp the situation, but all he could see was Buck: hurt, alone, fighting for his life. “I’m coming,” Eddie says firmly.
“Eddie, you don’t have to. Stay with Christopher,” Bobby urges. “Hen, Athena, and I are here for him. We’ve got this.”
“There’s no way I’m not coming,” Eddie snaps. “Buck needs me. How’s Maddie?”
“She’s safe,” Bobby assures him. “Traumatized, understandably, but she wasn’t physically harmed. Just some malnourishment and dehydration. She’s with Chimney now, and she’ll be okay. So will the baby.”
Eddie exhales shakily. “Good. That’s good.”
The call ends shortly after, leaving Eddie standing there, his chest tight with emotion.
“Dad?” Christopher’s soft, worried voice breaks through the silence. Eddie turns to see his son standing in the doorway, concern etched into his face.
Eddie wipes his tears quickly, but it’s too late, Chris had seen.
“Buck… Buck got hurt,” Eddie admits, his voice thick with emotion.
“In a fire?” Chris asks, his brow furrowing.
“No, not in a fire,” Eddie says, stepping closer to his son. He kneels down, taking Christopher’s hands in his own. “He… he tried to help Maddie, but someone hurt him. He’s in surgery right now.”
“Is Buck going to be okay?”
Eddie’s throat tightens, and he struggles to answer. “I don’t know, mijo,” he says finally. “But I need to go back to LA. I have to be there for him.”
Chris stares at his dad, his expression firm, though his eyes betray the worry he feels. “I’m coming with you.”
“Christopher, you can’t,” Eddie begins. “You have school, and it’s—”
“Dad,” Chris interrupts, his voice rising with urgency. “I have to come! I need to be there too!”
Eddie is taken aback, seeing the desperation in his son’s eyes. His own emotions are a whirlwind, but he knows one thing for sure: Christopher loves Buck just as much as he does.
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”
Convincing his parents to let Christopher fly back to LA with him on a school day had been anything but easy. It had taken a heated argument with his mom, who insisted Christopher needed stability and routine, and sharp disapproval from his dad. But none of that mattered because Christopher had been crystal clear: he was going back to LA.
“I need to be there when my Buck wakes up,” Chris had said firmly, his jaw set in that stubborn way that reminded Eddie of himself. Missing a few days of school was a small price to pay for something that clearly meant so much to his son.
Now, as the taxi bumps along the road to the airport, Eddie stares out the window, his phone resting in his hand. His thoughts going back to the past two weeks in Texas.
When Eddie had first told Christopher he was moving back to El Paso, one of the very first questions Chris had asked was, “What about Buck?” The question had struck Eddie deeply, almost as if Christopher saw them as a package deal. Maybe because, in a way, they were .
And Christopher wasn’t entirely wrong.
From the moment Eddie set foot in El Paso, he had been missing Buck. Not just in the fleeting, casual way one might miss a friend. It was deeper, sharper, something that clawed at him when he least expected it. He missed their easy conversations, the kind that flowed naturally no matter how ridiculous the topic. He missed Buck’s wild conspiracy theories and his endless stream of random facts that somehow always came up at the perfect moment.
He missed their late-night beers on Eddie’s couch, laughing over stupid jokes. He missed the sound of Buck’s laugh, that infectious, full-body kind that made the worst days feel lighter.
He just... missed him .
When Eddie was in LA and Christopher was in El Paso, he had felt like a part of himself was missing—like he wasn’t whole. And now, even with Christopher by his side again, Eddie still feels that absence.
Because the truth is, no matter where Eddie goes, his home is with the people he loves most: Christopher and Buck.
****
When Buck opens his eyes, the first thing he thinks is that he must be hallucinating. Eddie and Christopher are sitting on the small couch in the corner of his hospital room. He doesn’t remember why he’s in the hospital, or much of anything at all, but what he does know is that if this is a dream, he doesn’t want to wake up from it.
Eddie’s head jerks up the moment he notices Buck stirring, his eyes snapping to Buck’s face. His expression shifts in an instant, going from exhaustion to pure relief.
“Buck!” Eddie exclaims, practically launching himself from the couch and closing the distance to Buck’s bedside in two long strides.
“Eddie,” Buck croaks, his voice dry and scratchy, “are you real?” His wide, unfocused eyes make him look almost childlike, vulnerable in a way that pulls at Eddie’s heart.
For a split second, Eddie wonders if Buck hit his head during the incident, but then the thought vanishes. Right now, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that Buck is awake—and alive.
“Buck, you’re awake!” Christopher pipes up, his voice a mix of excitement and relief as he scrambles to his feet, his worried face now lit up with joy.
Buck’s eyes drift over to Chris, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Hey, buddy,” he rasps, blinking to clear his vision. “What are you doing here? What are you two doing in LA?”
“Buck, we were so worried about you,” Chris says, his voice wobbling slightly. “Dad was crying and everything.”
Eddie makes a sound that’s somewhere between a cough and a protest, clearly flustered. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, avoiding Buck’s gaze.
Buck, however, looks straight at him, his expression softening despite his confusion. “You cried?”
Eddie clears his throat, refusing to meet Buck’s teasing but curious eyes. “That’s not important right now.”
“Buck, you were stabbed,” Eddie continues, steering the conversation back to the present. “Do you remember what happened?”
Buck’s face scrunches as he tries to recall the events leading up to this moment. Eddie can see the gears turning in his mind, a flicker of panic flashing across his face when realization starts to set in.
“Maddie,” Buck says suddenly, his voice strained as he tries to sit up. “Where is she? Is she okay?”
“She’s fine,” Eddie reassures him quickly, placing a steadying hand on Buck’s shoulder to keep him from moving too much. “She’s resting in one of the other rooms with Chimney. The doctors are keeping her for observation for the next 24 hours, but she’s going to be okay.”
Buck visibly relaxes at the news, his whole body sinking into the hospital bed like a deflated balloon.
“Good,” he mutters, his eyes briefly fluttering closed in relief. But then, a sharp wince cuts through his features as he instinctively presses a hand to his injured side.
“Easy,” Eddie says, his hand still firm on Buck’s shoulder. His voice is gentle, but there’s an edge of worry there too. “Don’t push yourself. You’re safe now.”
And for the first time since waking up, Buck lets himself believe it.
****
The day after being discharged from the hospital, Buck asked Eddie if he could drive him back to his apartment. Eddie’s response was immediate, his eyes widened in disbelief, his expression a mix of concern and exasperation.
“Absolutely not,” Eddie had said, shaking his head firmly.
Before Buck could protest, Eddie had crossed his arms and explained that he’d already decided to take him home—to his home—where he could keep an eye on him and help with his bandages. Buck had tried to argue, muttering something about not wanting to impose, but Eddie shut him down with a look that brooked no argument.
“I’m not letting you sit in that apartment alone while you’re still recovering,” Eddie had said, his voice leaving no room for negotiation.
Eddie’s house in LA, thankfully, was still intact. He hadn’t sold it yet, and all the furniture remained in place, save for a few personal items and decorations that had been packed away into moving boxes. The place looked a little sparse, but it was still comfortable, still homey in that way only Eddie’s space could be.
And that was how Buck found himself living in Eddie’s house, surrounded by the familiar walls and warmth of a place that felt more like home than he wanted to admit.
“You’ll take my bed, and I’ll take the couch,” Eddie announces as they walk into the house, his tone leaving little room for discussion.
“Eddie, that’s... that’s not necessary,” Buck protests, his left arm over his crutch, already shaking his head. “I can sleep on the couch. It’s no big deal.”
Eddie turns to face him, fixing Buck with one of his no-nonsense looks. “Buck,” he says firmly, “you’re injured. You take the bed. End of story. I’ll change the sheets.”
Buck opens his mouth to argue again but catches the determined set of Eddie’s jaw. He knows better than to push when Eddie has that look on his face.
That night, after a surprisingly decent dinner, Eddie had managed to cook without setting off the smoke alarm, Buck made his way to Eddie’s bedroom. His steps were slow and careful, a sheen of cold sweat dampening the back of his shirt. Every movement sent a dull ache through his body, and a shiver coursed down his spine as he reached the bed.
Before he could lower himself down, Eddie appeared in the doorway, concern etched across his face. “Hey,” Eddie says, stepping into the room, “do you need help getting into bed?”
Buck turns to him, his expression a mix of gratitude and stubbornness, but the wobble in his stance betrays how much he needs the offer.
“The doctor said I might get a fever,” Buck murmurs, his voice a little hoarse as he sways slightly. “Guess it’s kicking in.”
Without missing a beat, Eddie steps closer, wrapping a steadying arm around Buck. “Alright, come on,” he says, his tone gentle but firm.
Eddie guides him carefully to the edge of the bed and helps him sit down. With practiced ease, he adjusts the pillows and eases Buck back until he’s lying comfortably against them. The cool sheets contrast with the warmth radiating off Buck’s feverish skin.
“You’ll rest better here,” Eddie says softly as he pulls the blanket over Buck. “Let me grab a cool cloth for that fever.”
Buck mumbles a thanks, already sinking into the mattress, his body giving in to the exhaustion.
Eddie returns a moment later, a cold, damp cloth in hand. He quietly approaches the bed, the sight of Buck lying there tugging at something deep in his chest. Sitting on the edge of the mattress, Eddie reaches out and gently presses the cloth to Buck’s forehead.
Buck’s eyes flutter shut almost immediately, his tense features softening as the coolness eases the heat of his fever. A faint sigh escapes his lips, and he seems to sink further into the pillows, his body visibly relaxing.
“Feels good,” Buck mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper.
Eddie can’t help but smile softly, continuing his slow, careful movements, wiping along Buck’s temples and brushing the damp cloth over his cheeks. He takes his time, not rushing, as if the small act of care is as much for himself as it is for Buck.
“You just focus on getting better,” Eddie murmurs. “I’ve got you.”
Buck doesn’t respond, but the slight curve of his lips and the way he leans into Eddie’s touch speaks volumes.
As Eddie carefully wipes down Buck’s neck, he notices the steady, rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. Buck’s breathing has evened out, soft and constant—he’s fallen asleep.
Eddie freezes for a moment, cloth still in his hand, as his eyes travel over Buck’s face. His features are relaxed now, free of the pain and tension that had gripped him earlier. Eddie’s gaze lingers on the faint stubble along Buck’s jaw, the fever-flushed pink in his cheeks, and the familiar birthmark above his eyebrow.
Without thinking, Eddie feels his hand drift upward, almost of its own accord. His fingertips brush lightly over the pink patches on Buck’s skin, the touch so gentle it barely registers.
His thumb hovers near Buck’s temple before he catches himself, pulling back sharply as if jolted awake. Eddie blinks, his heart thudding in his chest as he stares at his hand, unsure what had come over him.
He places the cloth aside, standing up and taking a step back. But his eyes still on Buck, watching him sleep peacefully, lips slightly parted.
Eddie’s chest tightens, and a wave of panic sweeps over him as he stands there, staring at Buck’s peaceful form. The quiet, calm of the moment feels suddenly suffocating. The thought that has been nagging at him, hovering on the edge of his mind for weeks, is now undeniable: He is in love with Buck.
The realization hits him like a freight train, crashing through every carefully constructed wall he'd built around his emotions. His heart races, and his breath catches in his throat. He had always known there was something deeper between him and Buck, something that went beyond friendship, but the idea of it, the reality of it, was too overwhelming to bear.
His best friend. His closest person in the world. Eddie is in love with him.
He can feel his pulse in his neck, the pressure building in his head. What does this mean for them? For their friendship? What would happen if Buck ever found out? Eddie isn’t sure he could live with the possibility of losing him, of things shifting and breaking between them.
He needed to think, to make sense of all of this, but all he could focus on was the image of Buck’s sleeping face, so vulnerable and peaceful—and the knowledge that he is falling harder than ever for him.
****
Buck wakes up feeling groggy, the dull ache in his side pulling him out of restless sleep. It is still early, the soft gray light of dawn creeping through the windows. The pain makes it impossible to stay in bed, so, crutch under his arm, he makes his way toward the living room.
As Buck reaches the doorway, he pauses, his eyes landing on Eddie curled up on the couch. Eddie looks peaceful, almost childlike, lying on his side with a blanket pulled snugly against his chest. His lips are slightly parted, and his brows are unfurrowed in a way that makes Buck’s heart ache.
Buck can’t stop the wave of sadness that sweeps over him. In just a few days, his wound will start to heal enough that he won’t need Eddie’s constant help anymore. And then Eddie and Christopher will go back to Texas, leaving Buck behind to face the emptiness again. He swallows hard, trying to push the thought away, but it clings to him like a shadow.
“Buck, you awake?” Eddie’s raspy voice breaks through his thoughts. He stirs on the couch, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. “You sleep okay?”
“Uh, yeah,” Buck lies, his voice cracking slightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.” Eddie’s brows furrow as he looks Buck over, his expression shifting to one of concern. “What’s up with that face? You feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Buck replies quickly, his hand instinctively brushing over his side. “Still some pain.”
Eddie narrows his eyes, unconvinced. “Buck,” he says, his voice low and steady. “It’s not just the pain, is it?”
Buck opens his mouth to respond but hesitates. For a brief moment, he thinks about telling Eddie the truth—about the sadness, the fear of being alone again, the love he didn’t dare admit. But instead, he plasters on a weak smile.
“It’s nothing,” Buck says, avoiding Eddie’s gaze. “I’m good.”
Eddie is not buying it, but he doesn’t push. Instead, he stands, stretching before walking over to Buck. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that?” he says with a small smile, his hand resting briefly on Buck’s shoulder.
The next few days passed with relative ease. Buck’s side was healing, the wound slowly closing, and the sharp pains were giving way to a manageable soreness. Every night before bed, Eddie would carefully change Buck’s bandage, his fingers brushing lightly against Buck’s skin. Each touch sent a flutter through Buck’s chest that he couldn’t quite suppress, no matter how hard he tried.
During the day, Christopher would diligently work on the school assignments his teacher had sent along, his concentration a mix of focused frowns and the occasional groan of frustration. While Chris worked, Buck and Eddie would head out for a walk, taking slow, measured steps around the neighborhood. Eddie was always by his side, ready to steady him if he stumbled, their quiet conversations filling the gaps in the day.
It almost started to feel like a routine, a comforting, easy rhythm that Buck found himself clinging to. But every time he let himself feel a flicker of hope, every time he caught himself imagining this as permanent, the reality would hit him like a gust of cold wind. This wasn’t meant to last.
Eddie would leave again soon, and when he did, Buck knew the emptiness would return, carving out the space Eddie and Christopher had filled so effortlessly. The thought lingered at the edge of his mind, a quiet ache that never quite went away.
After dinner, with takeout containers now empty and Christopher holed up in his room chatting with online friends, Eddie started putting away the dishes. Buck had offered to help, but Eddie had immediately vetoed the idea, firmly ordering him to sit on the couch and pick a movie for their evening.
When Eddie finally finishes his chores and walks into the living room, he finds Buck sitting on the Diaz family couch, his gaze distant, his expression heavy with unspoken thoughts. Eddie approaches carefully, and lowers himself onto the couch beside Buck. Buck twitches slightly as the couch pillow dips beneath him.
“Buck,” Eddie says softly, his hand resting on Buck’s shoulder. “I know what you’ve been through hasn’t been easy, chasing after Maddie’s kidnapper, getting hurt the way you did. I can’t imagine how much you’ve suffered, and I hate that I wasn’t there for you. But you know you can talk to me, right? Whatever’s on your mind, I’m here for you.”
Buck glances at Eddie briefly before looking away again, hesitation flickering in his eyes. Eddie’s chest tightens at the sight of his friend so visibly torn.
“It’s…” Buck begins, his voice strained. Eddie leans in slightly, his attention unwavering. “It’s not about Maddie. It’s about us.”
“Us?”
“I’m sorry,” Buck whispers, his voice breaking as tears start to form in his eyes.
“I know I’m being selfish,” Buck says, his voice trembling with emotion. “I want you to be happy with Christopher. And if being miles away is what you need, then I should just let you go. But I can’t help the way I feel when you’re gone. I don’t want to lose you.”
Eddie’s heart aches at the vulnerability radiating from Buck. “Buck, you’re not selfish,” he says firmly. “And you’re not losing me. I’m always just a call away, no matter where I am.”
“But I don’t want you one call away, Eddie,” Buck says, his voice cracking under the weight of his feelings. He turns fully toward Eddie now, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I want you here, next to me. Like now.”
Eddie freezes, his breath catching in his throat. The gravity of Buck’s words settles over him, his mind spinning to process their meaning. Is Buck saying what he thinks he is?
“When Tommy broke up with me, I felt like a failure,” Buck begins, his voice thick with emotion. “Another lover leaving me...it was hard. Hard to cope with the fact that I was, once again, just a passing fling in someone’s life. But Eddie…” He pauses, his voice trembling as he meets Eddie’s gaze. “When you told me you were leaving, it was like my whole world collapsed. I never thought you would ever leave me.”
“Buck…” Eddie starts, his voice soft, but Buck shakes his head slightly, cutting him off.
“And that’s when I realized…you’re the most important person in my life, Eddie. Not...not just like a best friend.” Buck’s voice falters, but he presses on, his words spilling out in a rush. “I know you don’t feel the same way about me, and that’s okay. I just…I need to be honest with you.”
“Buck…”
“Even if we can’t be more than friends,” Buck continues, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears, “I wish we could still stay by each other’s sides. I miss Christopher, too. I want to keep seeing him grow up. You know he means so much to me.”
Eddie feels warmth trailing down his cheeks and realizes he’s crying. The sight of Buck, so raw, so vulnerable, makes his heart ache in a way he didn’t think possible.
“I wish for nothing more than for you to be happy,” Buck’s voice cracks, breaking under the weight of his confession. “But I don’t know how to live without you two.”
And in that moment, Eddie’s brain must have short-circuited because before he can even think, he moves. His hand cradling Buck’s cheek as he leans in and presses his lips against Buck’s.
Buck freezes for a heartbeat, his eyes widening in shock. But then, as if a dam has burst, he melts into the kiss, his hands trembling as they grip Eddie’s arms. The kiss is fierce and desperate, as though they’re both parched and the other is water. Their tears mingle as they press closer, their breaths tangling together in a chaotic rhythm.
Eddie moves his lips against Buck’s with a tenderness that belies the storm of emotions surging within him. He breathes Buck in, the kiss searing away every doubt, every fear. In that moment, Buck is his lifeline, his anchor in a world that has felt incomplete for far too long.
He kisses Buck as if he’s the missing puzzle piece he’s been searching for his entire life. He kisses him with a longing so deep it feels like it might swallow him whole. And as their tears mix with their shared breaths, Eddie knows one thing for certain: he never wants to let Buck go again.
“Buck, you idiot,” Eddie murmurs, pulling back just enough to look Buck in the eyes, their faces mere inches apart. His voice trembles, thick with emotion. “I don’t know how to live without you either. When I went to see Chris, I thought…I thought I’d finally feel whole again, that I’d be happy. But the truth is, I felt empty.”
Buck blinks, his breath hitching, as Eddie’s thumb gently brushes against the tear-streaked skin of his cheek.
“I kept trying to figure out why,” Eddie continues, his own tears slipping free, “but the only thing that made sense…the only reason I could come up with...was that I missed you. And not like a brother, not like a friend,” he says, his voice breaking softly. “I missed you like you’re the other half of my heart.”
His thumb lingers on Buck’s face, tracing the curve of his cheekbone with a tenderness that makes Buck’s chest ache.
“Eddie…” Buck breathes, his voice barely above a whisper, his heart pounding so loudly it feels like it might burst.
Eddie’s gaze searches his, filled with a mixture of vulnerability and certainty. “You are, Buck. You’re my heart.”
Buck doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, he reaches out, pulling Eddie into a tight embrace, holding him as if he’s afraid letting go might shatter the moment. His fingers grip the fabric of Eddie’s shirt, and he buries his face in Eddie’s shoulder.
“I love you, Eddie.”
Eddie freezes for just a moment, his breath catching in his throat, before his arms wrap around Buck just as tightly. He presses his face into Buck’s neck, his heart pounding so fiercely he wonders if Buck can feel it.
“I love you too, Buck,” Eddie whispers back, his words steady, sure, and carrying the weight of everything he’s held inside for far too long.
The next morning, Eddie wakes up in his bed, Buck tightly against him, their limbs so entwined they might as well be sharing a twin bed. The warmth of Buck’s presence, his breaths against Eddie’s neck, makes everything feel like it’s finally fallen into place. Eddie knows, with a clarity he’s never had before: he can’t go back to Texas. His home, his heart, everything he loves, is right here in Los Angeles. With Buck, with Christopher, with the 118, and with this house he has so many memories with.
At breakfast, the three of them sit around the table, Eddie sipping his coffee as Christopher munches on his cereal. Eddie is already racking his brain for a solution, thinking about how to keep them all together. But before he can say a word, Christopher’s gaze shifts between him and Buck, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“So, you finally confessed?” Chris says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
Eddie nearly chokes on his coffee.
“Chris, what are you talking about?” Buck asks, his voice breaking slightly as his face flushes bright red.
Christopher rolls his eyes like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I know you think teenagers don’t understand anything, but I’ve known you two were in love with each other for ages. It’s written all over your faces. Plus, Dad didn’t sleep on the couch last night.”
“Uh, that’s not…” Buck starts, tripping over his words, his cheeks turning an even deeper shade of crimson. “We didn’t—! I mean, nothing happened!”. Which, of course, is true. They hadn’t done anything besides kiss and cuddle. But Chris’s knowing look leaves Buck flustered nonetheless.
Eddie clears his throat, desperate to steer the conversation in a different direction. “Chris, do you still want to stay in El Paso with abuela y abuelo?”
Chris pauses, his expression thoughtful. “I think I want to stay with my friends,” he admits, and Eddie’s heart clenches at the words. But before Eddie can react, Chris continues. “But…I also want to be with you and Buck too. Be a family.”
“Mijo,” Eddie whispers, his voice thick with emotion.
Chris looks down for a moment, considering something. “Maybe I can stay in Texas until the next holiday,” he suggests, his tone careful. “That way, I can say goodbye to my friends and abuelos, and then come back to LA. What do you think, Dad?”
Eddie’s lips spread into a wide, relieved smile. “I think that’s a great idea, buddy.”
Eddie stands up from his chair and for the first time in what feels like forever, he pulls Christopher into a tight hug. Chris hugs him back, his arms wrapping around his dad’s torso. Eddie presses his nose into the top of Chris’s hair, breathing him in, savoring the comfort and love in the moment.
Before long, two stronger arms wrap around both of them, pulling them into an even bigger embrace. Buck.
Eddie leans into the warmth of the hug, his heart swelling with joy as he realizes that this is everything he’s ever wanted. His son. Buck. A family. His family.
And in this moment, Eddie knows—everything is finally right.