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The burning particles still remained on his skin, the burnt sensation of hellfire resting upon his tongue.
.....................
His eyes widened and he shook his head. He needn't think on those times any longer; especially not now since they will finally be worth enduring through. All he has to do is make one shot, no big deal, he's done it plenty of times beforehand.
"I won't fail. I won't fail."
Those words keep echoing through his mind, rattling as always as his anticipation of the moment arises with each step towards his ending goal, only serving to make him feel worse. His palms are moist from all the pressure weighing in upon his shoulders, which is definitely not good for his hold over his hammer. His steadiness declines with each step, and he can't take the fact that there's now eyes on him. He turns to one of them, a kid with black hair, with a streak of white through the middle going down. But that's not what he sees, what he sees are those...things. He shudders internally to remember them, and witnessing them go by in such fleeting instances of his eyes flickering open and shut was messing with his head again. He panicked when seeing the next few instances of it, believing it to be truly real and there before his eyes. So he does what he does best when faced by those things; he draws his weapon, ready to fire and blow this entity away into smithereens. But as his heartbeat slows, and his breathing grows steady, as does his psyche. He sees now what wasn't present mere seconds ago, that young boy he had only seen for a couple seconds before one of those things appeared before him. But quickly, he comes to realize that one of those things was never even there, he was just seeing things...
But he still couldn't be sure.
He lowered his weapon upon realizing his possible mistake, keeping his guard high even whilst doing so. Once his weapon was no longer threatening to dispatch him, the child reached his hand out, in a gesture of leading. He, for one, was not going to turn down someone willingly identifying the location of his chosen target for elimination. On the walk there, he huffed and puffed like a gorilla, his walk seeming more aggressive and intimidating as a result of his switched breathing patterns. He was trying his hardest to hype himself up, to prepare himself for the moment he had been waiting for so long now to achieve, the moment that would save it all. That moment was coming, and it was rapidly approaching at that.
"I won't fail, I cannot fail."
He kept telling himself that, internally repeating it like a mantra as he was lead closer and closer to him; his chosen target. The time was drawing nearer and nearer, and he was now confident that he could follow through with it. And then, before he knew it, the moment had come to arrive. He was right there, floating in midair as if he were a gracious savior of some kind, but he knew him better than that. His hammer immediately arose, sparing no time to be wasted with initiating it's beam, the ray of light that would finally put an end to all this madness. His eyes honed in on his visage, more intensely than they had ever before laid upon him. The shot he was about to take was powering up, he roared intensely as it's power increased within his steady grasp.
"I won't fail."
He told himself, shutting his eyes as the beam drew close to reaching it's maximum height of power. Things were going perfectly, he couldn't wait for everything he had endured to be put to a potential end. But just before his finger could land press in on the trigger, his eyes opened, and with them; several other things opened up internally within his mind. He was staring straight towards him, looking down from his mighty presentation in the sky. That look, it triggered something; something that caused an event he deeply dreaded to occur. In a moment of empathy, blindness due to the look of his former partner from what feels like eons ago, he aimed away. The shot hurled itself just away enough from his head to singe a few hairs sticking out from it's side. He panted, breaths steadily growing increasingly more panicked upon realizing what he had just done.
He had him, dead to rights within the scope of his hammering eye. But as he stood there, staring deeply into the abyss, he blinked.
"I won't fail."
And yet, by a cruel twist of fate; he had. And he, the man whom drove him to the highest degrees of madness still had his sights set on him. He couldn't read his expression, probably because he no longer had any faith or trust in him. He stepped backwards instinctively as he began lowering himself from his seat in the air, the tapping of his staff as he approached him closer sending blood-curdling feelings up his spine. He was now shaking, left in a familiarly feral daze of panic as he drew nearer. His brain kept seeing images of what he became, and he eventually froze in place, internally having already accepted his fate. He knew whatever was coming by the hand of fate wasn't going to be pretty in the slightest. Still, he wanted to go out on his own terms, refusing to allow the man who he once called his partner to have the satisfaction of seeing him quiver during his final living moments. He was close, the distance between them no longer far from one another. And as his "partner" stood there, directly in front of him, he spread his arms out by his sides. His face remained cold and expressionless as he did so, and he began reaching out that evil hand towards him.
He accept it, his defeat with open arms. Ready to embrace that mysterious release.
But strangely, it never came. Instead, what took place was a moment that wounded him far more than any simple death could ever cause. His hand was certainly laid upon his chest, but nothing was happening, just a small, light caressing of his palm over his frontal torso. His eyes were fixated upon where his hand was placed for but a few seconds, before they turned upwards to meet his gaze. He was still in a slight panicked frenzy of a mentality, as he had been forced into for so many years, but he calmed some when receiving such a soothing, careful touch from his former partner. He was sweating profusely in place, breaths unsteady and panting as he nervously swallowed each increasing formation of saliva down his throat; watching and waiting patiently to see what he'll do next, he presumes. He averts his eyes back down to their former position, staring at his chest as he continued swaying his caress over his long time friend's chest. The affection rub was awfully intimate, a feel that he had not known for a long, long time. At first, it put him off immensely, seeing some kind of vague deception hidden within it through his paranoidly widened eyes. But as it kept going, the calmer he felt, that too put him off due to his previous experiences.
"It has to be a trick, it must be one."
He told himself, unsurprisingly. He was never one to get his hopes up very highly after all. At least, not in a long time he hasn't. But then, minutes after the elongated touch lasted way past the length it probably should have, he pulled himself closer to his chest. His head laid against it, nuzzling between each pectoral as it had done many times before. At this point, he was feeling incredibly conflicted, his face sniveling with it expressively. His arms shook, he couldn't believe a person he had grown so distant from for so long by now was reminding him fraction by fraction of what they had originally possessed; the both of them, together. He hesitated, but inevitably, it took only four simple words for his emotions to take full throttle over any sort of possibly deranged logic he had going on upstairs within his cranium. He looked down to see his face, over it displayed an expression of melancholic sorrow, it was quite heart-wrenching for him to witness.
"I missed you, Jayce." he said.
He was suddenly overcome by a feeling towards him that he hadn't experienced in so long; love. His arms joined together around him instantly, with such familiarity encoded within their binding embrace. He rested his chin upon his head, his eyelids closed fully in on themselves. It was a beautiful moment for sure, neither of them could deny that. Strangely enough however, he thought that he would feel at least some guilt over the act of embracing someone he'd come to hate, but he'd always been uncertain about his view of Viktor for quite some time now; even when he "supposedly" hated him. Nevertheless, since the days that they were still working on Hextech together, he hadn't felt quite this happy, this open. He relished in it, savoring the feeling for as long as he could; both externally, and internally. But of course, things this pleasant are never bound to last forever sadly, and a quick glance over to some of the onlookers proved that rather immediately. He catches a nasty glimpse of those horrid abominations yet again while his eyes are slowly opening. They widen to alertness immediately upon seeing it, and he swiftly shoves Viktor away from him; sending him to the ground. He grabs a tight hold of the hammer he'd almost left behind and aimed it towards all those things; very brief instances of their shocked, human expressions lingering in his fragile mind like a nasty afterthought. Still he bore through it, resolved to exterminate what he sees before him no matter how humane it may appear.
"I won't fail, not again."
His mind repeated to him, echoing as a way of comfort for the misdeeds he knew he was about to commit. He let out a roar of fury, his resolve strengthened in tandem with the rhythm of his heartbeat as the beam fully charged. His finger was swift, nearly pushing the trigger until...
"Jayce, wait!!" he exclaimed from behind.
He immediately turned to face him, his snarling barrage of panting breaths only sounding more vicious the moment he locks eye contact with him. Before him stands not Viktor, not the man he once knew and dearly cared for, in ways he never believed he could. But rather, it was him; that same, vile monstrosity of mechanisms that spouted zealous nonsense as if it were a broken record instead of a living person. That was what he saw, and he did not like the sight of it, not one bit. His resolve only strengthened further, hearing the awful, awful sounds of maniacal, joyous laughter emitting from him as it had in what felt like only mere seconds ago. He was ready, more than ever before prepared to pull the trigger and annihilate it once and for all. But before he could accomplish his goal, a brief flash of what his partner looked like before all the madness had unfolded hit deeply into his neural circuits. He was a pitiful sight, like a wounded animal begging mercy from the cruel hand of fate.
"Jayce..." he exclaimed, silently under his breath.
Second verse, same as the first. He was resolved, resolved to carry out his mission successfully. But he was also weak, and it seemed like that weakness was once again winning over his common sense.
His teeth chitteringly grinded into each other as his conflicted frown only expanded from the corners of his mouth. It was wide, wide as it could be while lost in contemplative thought over the matter. He wondered what he should do next; and in the moment, when his brain couldn't come to an immediate conclusion, he snapped. He roared once again, sounds of pure, ballistic rage as he brought his hammer skyward; highly above his head. Then quickly, right in front of him, he brought it downwards; screaming all the while.
"GOD DAMMIT!!" he expressively bellowed from the most primal vocals of his throat.
The hammer struck; connecting to the ground so lustfully that it created a dent in the stone floor to spawn, one dressed completely in cracked formations. He let go of his grip over the handle, allowing the hammer to rest it it's place as he fell to his knees exhaustively. He panted profusely, eyes slowly thinning back to normal as the overwhelming feelings of fearful rage parted from his body, leaving him utterly breathless. From a bit further beyond, Viktor exhales a sigh of slight relief. But as one emotion exorcises itself from his body, another is fairly quick to take it's place, and he finds himself filled with an indescribable sorrow. His eyes well up with a familiar wetness, before pouring immensely from the lower lid. He covers his face with his hands, feeling ashamed that he was unable to take his shot. He heard footsteps approaching him through his sounds of sobbing, before the darkness of his palms was replaced by the familiar sight of his partner's concerned face. They locked eyes again, and for some reason, they were unable to avert them from one another's line of sight. Perhaps, it was due to that desire to care for each other they possessed once in the past, resurfacing during a clear time of need for both of them. His hand cupped around his chin, the feel of his tears running down his fingertips gently. Then, with his second hand, he dropped his cane to place it upon his cheek; while his face moved in closer. They could now feel one another's breaths puffing over their skin. He wasn't sure what his intention was, but it was slowly, yet surely, building up that prior rage once again.
Closer, he brought his face. His eyes closing in the further it got. Once he felt it was close enough, his lips made contact with his forehead.
The kiss was sweet, somewhat tender too, and it lasted for quite the while before the rage returned to his core. Once it was back he immediately shoved him away from his face. His face hardly changed, even upon witnessing his hateful scowl forming over his face. His hands clenched into fists from the mere sight of him, breaths transformed into quieted snarls.
"Don't touch me you freak." he said, his tone deceptively blank.
He sighed again, reaching slowly for his cane to prod himself back onto his feet. Once crouched, he offers him his hand to return to his feet. He isn't interested however, so he expectedly slaps it away before getting back onto his feet by himself. After both men are back on their feet, they stare away from each other, silent in contemplation as they both wonder where to take this interaction. While lost in the possibilities he could take, he thinks briefly upon that forehead kiss when it passes by his train of thought. Strangely, despite all the rage he holds towards this man, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside. This causes him to think back onto times when he and Viktor would stay in their lab afterhours, casually conversating, getting into mischief, and most intimately of all; tasting one another's lips.
Good times.
He'd like to return back to those times, back when their only worries came in the form of improper designs and various malfunctions. Unfortunately, he can hardly bare to see him in that type of light any longer; not after all he experienced, all he did. And yet, he's still unsure of just how true that remains to be, given how their latest kiss just made him feel. Perhaps, deep inside, there's still that part of him that yearns for what they once had; that part he thought perished long ago. But when thinking about it again, it gives his heart that comforting feel of cozy, which arises confliction internally as a result. He quickly steps out from his head and back into reality for a moment, turning his gaze up from the floor and back onto Viktor. His face softens when looking at him, his mind finally clear for the moment, enough to see how beautiful he looks when lost in thought.
He always had the most thoughtful eyes when thinking.
His confliction ate at him internally, so much so that he started to sweat when thinking about what happens next, how he can go forward from here on out. He decides to let himself do something crazy instead of responsible for once, just like he had done in multitude all those years ago.
"What now?" he asked.
The sudden words of questioning vocalized from his mouth shook Viktor out of his thoughts. His blinking gaze fell upon him, while stroking his chin and thinking of an answer for him. Suddenly, he smiled while turning his back towards him, walking away as he yelled from afar.
"You don't have an answer for me?! Huh?!" he roared, rageful spite making up his words' foundation.
He paused, cane tapping the floor as he turned his head backwards, looking towards him from over his shoulder.
"I do, I'm unsure how interested you'll be in it however." he replied.
"Well what is it?" he inquired.
He chuckled with his mouth closed and still fixed into a light smile, a sight that momentarily angered him.
"You could stay here with us, we-, well...I'd, love to have you here." he stated.
He continued staring at him, eyes widening upon hearing the ludicrous suggestion. There would be no way for him stay here and feel safe at all times, not with them, and especially not with him. But that's when he realized something; maybe this place isn't as bad as it seems, and maybe he can fix/heal things between the two of them if he does happen to stay. Even with that thought in mind, he's still highly skeptical of things regarding him, but maybe changing that can be the first step. Perhaps this could also prove to him once and for all if his former partner is truly redeemable or not. With all these compelling thoughts, and really no other place to go from here; he makes a decision. He chooses to step forward, getting closer until he turns back over to face him yet again. He reaches his hand out to him, very formally; the action amuses Viktor, as he tosses his cane into the other in order to accept it. The handshake plays out fine, no harm done.
"I'll stay. For only a while." he stated.
"For only a while then." he replied, smiling happily towards him.
His eyes fluttered away in slight disgust at the warm fuzziness such an expression gave him. After their hands parted from one another's clutch, Viktor proceeded as usual.
He was still greatly unsure about this, but he held out hope for a better future this time over.