Work Text:
Lloyd didn’t know what to do at this point. He did what he was supposed to. He completed the mission, so why was he so depressed still? Why was he grieving over nothing? Why did it feel like every movement he made was an impossible task?
It’s not fair.
—
Lloyd woke up, his eyelids heavy and his eyes dry from crying all night. He glanced at his vanity mirror. He looked like a mess, his hair tangled and knotted, eye bags deep and purple, his eyes were red and he just looked so dead inside.
He felt dead inside.
—
Wyldfyre might not want to admit it, but she was concerned about Lloyd. She knew when a dragon was calling or grieving for lost hatchlings. She’d seen a dragon cry for months on end after predators smashed and ate their eggs.
She could even sense it coming straight from his room. Wyldfyre could consider herself a dragon expert, she knew the ins and outs of their customs and rituals. This one was her least favorite. When dragons mourn for their hatchling or hatchlings, they typically go through 4 stages.
First, they’ll act fine, probably mindlessly looking around for their hatchlings, due to their mind being used to taking care of their young.
Secondly, they’ll go through a depression, cry or roar out for their missing hatchlings. This was the faze Lloyd was going through, Wyldfyre could sense it radiating off of him whenever he walked by.
The third phase will include sudden behavioral changes, they might get angry or frustrated over little things, due to their own grief of not being able to protect their hatchlings.
The last phase was the recovery phase. This will take a while, a dragon will never truly get over losing a baby, Wyldfyre wasn’t even sure humans could get over losing their own baby.
Wyldfyre frowned and ran into the kitchen. Whenever she was sad, Heatwave brought her food and took care of her. She grabbed one of the pots from underneath the kitchen sink and began preparing her special Wyld Chicken Soup. She could make him feel better, she had to try.
—
Kai knocked on Lloyd’s door, a worried look on his face. “Lloyd? Can I come in?” He asked, waiting for a response. He didn’t hear one, and he grew worried. “Lloyd, I’m just gonna walk in, I need to know if you’re okay,” he warned Lloyd, but he still didn’t get a response.
Kai sighed, his worry getting the best of him. He slid the door open, taking a step in. The room smelled a bit musty and the air was thick. He looked to Lloyd who couldn’t even make the effort to look at Kai.
Kai, filled with concern, crouched down to Lloyd. “Buddy, you can’t keep living like this,” he said, but Lloyd lightly shrugged.
“I don’t want to do anything,” Lloyd cringed as he spoke. His throat was dry due to him neglecting his need for water. “Just go away, Kai.”
Kai looked a bit sad as he shook his head. “Just try, Sora still needs you to be strong for her.” With that, Kai stood back up and quietly walked out, closing the door behind him.
Lloyd’s body shook as he held back tears. Right, he had to stay strong. He picked himself up and grabbed his brush off of his nightstand. His hair was one of the parts of him that he loved about himself. He could start there.
He flinched when the brush caught onto a knot. He pushed past the pain and unknotted his hair slowly but steadily. His hand shook and he occasionally just thought of quitting, going back to sleep, and not doing anything for the rest of the day. He thought about Sora and he knew he had to keep going.
Once his hair was smoothed out and looked more like hair than a rat's nest, he walked out of his room and into the bathroom. He turned on the water and splashed his face with cool water. He washed his face and cleaned out his eyes. Lloyd looked at himself and smiled a bit. He looked better now, and he finally gained a bit of confidence back as he walked out of the bathroom.
—
Sora held a framed photo in her hands. It was taken a year back, when she was still Arin’s best friend. They looked so happy, so free. Sora didn’t know what to think anymore. She occasionally blamed Lloyd, as wrong as it was, for making them his students. If it weren’t for them being ninjas in training, they wouldn’t have met Ras, and Ras wouldn’t have influenced Arin. Sora wouldn’t have discovered her powers and she and Arin would be living their lives as normal people in the Crossroads.
Sora sighed. She knew she was being slightly selfish in her thinking, Lloyd was grieving as much, if not worse, than she was. It was like an aura of depression followed Lloyd wherever he wandered. She was getting concerned, she might have lost her best friend due to a lie she made, but Lloyd lost a student, who she could tell he viewed as his kid, who basically called him a terrible teacher in battle, which was definitely a sore spot for Lloyd, before running after a bad guy and ending up who knows where. He was tearing himself apart and Sora didn’t know what to do.
She heard footsteps as Lloyd walked into her room. The room she used to share with Arin. Sora didn’t spare him a glance, not wanting to see the depressive state he was in. The tension was thick enough that Sora didn’t even think she could move at all.
“How’s it going, Sora?” His voice cut through the room like a knife, and suddenly Sora was facing Lloyd, her eyes filled with frustration as anger and irritation suddenly filled her veins.
“What do you want, Lloyd?” She snapped, but instantly regretted it once she saw the shock and hurt that flashed on Lloyd’s face. She just felt angry all of a sudden. She hated this.
Lloyd frowned and he played with the sleeves of his gi nervously. “I just uh, wanted to know if you were okay. You’re busy, that’s fine. I’ll be, uh, I’ll be one call away if you do end up needing me,” he told her quickly, not meeting her eyes before leaving the room.
A pang of guilt shot through her like lightning. Why did she suddenly burst out at Lloyd? It wasn't his fault that Arin went with Ras. She groaned as she set the photo down. She’d have to apologize soon.
—
Lloyd felt terrible after leaving Sora. He couldn’t help but feel sorry, everything was his fault after all, he was a terrible protector and an even worse teacher. He didn’t even know what to think about his uncle anymore. He knew his Uncle Wu wouldn’t do something like this without a reason. However, that reason, something Lloyd knew nothing of, was driving him up a wall.
He felt an urge of longing. Like something was missing from him. His instincts told him that there was supposed to be something— more like someone— there. It filled him with a sudden rage that he hadn’t felt in a while. Not since the Crystal War. It filled him with fear at the thought of losing control of himself again.
Lloyd shook the thoughts away as he stepped into the kitchen, finding Wyldfyre running around, making something. He looked at her with slight curiosity, unsure of whether he should ask her what she was doing.
Wyldfyre suddenly turned to him, a bright grin on her face. “You’re actually up!” She said gleefully, holding a wooden spoon that she was using to stir whatever was in the pot she was using. “I’m making lunch, it’s almost done if you want some,” she casually said, knowing Lloyd would likely reject the idea if he knew it was only for him.
Lloyd smiled slightly, nodding. “Got it, I’ll be back in a minute,” he told her as she brightened up.
‘I made him smile!’ She thought, feeling accomplished.
—
Zane, Cole, and Nya were outside with Kai, training when Lloyd stepped outside. Lloyd paused as they all turned to him. The air was thick with unspoken words as Lloyd stepped past them, opening the monastery doors.
“Where are you going?” Cole asked, but Lloyd didn’t respond as he left, not even sparing a glance.
Lloyd didn’t want to answer, fearing his emotions would get the better of him. He needed to let off some steam, and didn’t feel like displaying his scarily murderous tendencies when he’s filled with so much pent up anger.
—
Sora perked up when she heard a rather loud boom come from outside, it shook the mountain, knocking a few things down. She ran out of the room, finding Wyldfyre, who was also running out into the courtyard.
The two spotted Kai bolting down the long staircase that led down to the base of the mountain. The two teens began following the Fire Ninja, who was also following the other ninjas.
—
Lloyd didn’t know what to feel other than just pure rage. He glowed violet as he started destroying anything he saw, trees, rocks, anything that was in his way. Everything was in the way. In the way between him and his cub. Unless he saw his cub in front of him, he could only feel fury burn through him like an ugly storm that ripped trees out of the ground, destroying everything in its course.
He felt his claws grow and his horns sprouted out of his head. He couldn’t even hold his human form anymore. He never liked his hybrid form, he rather liked to stay blending in with other people, not wanting his heritage to be obvious. His legs even shifted into something less human, and more like a cat, which was from his oni side. His eyes narrowed as he heard rustling come from the direction of the monastery.
Lloyd growled inhumanly at the figure that appeared in front him.
Cole looked at him with shock, before his expression changed to something more saddened. Cole knew his brother was going through something, he just lost his student to the wrong side of the battlefield. That by itself was bound to tear him apart. Lloyd always was the more emotional of the group, taking things way harder than everyone else.
Cole saw that Lloyd was on the defensive, growling, but he made no notion that he was going to attack him. “Lloyd, you need to calm down,” he gently told the younger man, trying not to agitate him further.
Lloyd let out a low warble, clearly confused with himself as he switched from anger and sadness. Lloyd then frowned, backing away.
Cole gently stepped forward, but flinched back as Lloyd snarled at him. Lloyd saw him flinch and he whimpered. He was scaring Cole, he was a danger to his family.
Lloyd felt tears sliding down his face as he turned and ran away from Cole, who shouted for Lloyd to come back. Lloyd ignored his cries, wanting to get away, to leave. He needed to find him. He needed to protect him, and he needed to help him. Lloyd was never going to rest until Arin was back with him.