Chapter Text
Ekko heaves as he tears through the familiar streets of the Undercity. His heart would ache if he dared to spare a second thought to the reality he left behind. The look in Powder’s wide, untainted eyes as he left her. Ekko considered staying, selfish as it was. It wasn’t a perfect reality, sure, but it was pretty damn close. The heaviness that resided on his shoulders from the burden of grief and leadership never plagued him in that world. He was given room to blossom, to immerse himself in all the pleasures of life. That Ekko was committed to his deepest, most selfish desires that this one could never allow himself to indulge in.
Going to the party that night was the first selfish choice he had made since Vander’s death. He threw caution to the wind and spent the evening with a girl who could never exist in his world. It was fun, dancing with the girl he once knew. That Powder had been a fantasy he never dared entertain since she turned down his rescue attempts all those years ago. Powder died, and Jinx was born.
Powder had looked at him with a softness that, for a brief moment, he saw on the bridge. The look that stopped his wound-up fist. The person on that bridge wasn’t Powder, not by any stretch of the imagination. But some parts of her remained. Surely that meant something for his Jinx. Surely that meant she could be more than what she was. Ekko couldn’t leave her or his world behind when he knew the possibilities.
Ekko found Jinx’s lab in the same place Powder’s was. The unused propellors laid dormant beneath the ground. Those she had lovingly decorated throughout her years of escapism through invention. Whether that escapism was born from Powder trying to cope with Vi’s death or from Jinx trying to cope with the war confined in her mind, there were certain things that Jinx and Powder shared. So long as those propellors existed in the world, Powder would find a home in them.
Ekko pauses at the entrance to the cave, leaning on the wall as he tries to catch his breath. His eyes sweep across the lab. Though it was the same place, the energy was different. Spray-painted drawings littered the propellor. Her tools are scattered across the workbench as though they had been shoved aside haphazardly. Ekko recalls the cozy fort in Powder’s lab. To his surprise, Jinx seems to have one as well. Childish drawings outside of Jinx’s normal style hang on the wall, accompanied by a pile of soft pillows and toys.
Clang!
A figure made its way from the shadows and onto the propellor, machine parts clattering to the floor in its wake. Powder? Ekko shook his head. Not Powder. It was Jinx, though her presence felt entirely different. Her hair is cut choppily to her shoulders, a messy variation of Powder’s haircut. She moves slowly, feet dragging on the floor. In the darkness, Ekko couldn’t make out her face.
Jinx stops in the middle of the propellor, facing out into the open cave in front of her. It was an odd sight, seeing Jinx sit still. She was hardly the ‘sit-in-the-silence-and-ruminate-in-my-thoughts’ type. Ekko narrowed his eyes, scanning the girl for any indication of what she was doing. His eyes land on her hands, and confusion turns into a blind panic. Jinx barely had a chance to pull the pin before Ekko ran across the cavern and yanked the coord of his Z-Drive.
“Wait!”
The world was quiet, spare for the small gasp that left Jinx’s mouth. Her eyes travel backward, landing close enough to see him in her periphery.
“I just want to talk to you,” Ekko tries to steady his words into something comforting. He reaches out towards her, as though he has any clue what he’s doing.
“Get out of here, Ekko.” Jinx pulls the pin, catching Ekko off guard. The explosion reaches further this time, the puffs of pink and blue destruction nearly singe his skin before Ekko pulls his Z-Drive once more.
“I…I just want to talk to you, Pow-!” Ekko cringes at his choice of words. “...Jinx,” he tries feebly to correct. Too late, of course. Pink and blue explode from the grenade, shrapnel cutting through his skin before it all goes back with the pull of a cord.
“You’re too late, Ekko.”
“Wait!”
Pink and blue. Just as quickly as it comes, it retreats. Panic turns into frustration. Ekko leans on the railing beside him, heaving from the exertion.
“Always a dance with you,” he smiles weakly. Jinx glances back at him, and Ekko wonders if she can see the deeper meaning in his words. Jinx couldn’t know what he saw. How would she interpret that? For reasons unclear to Ekko, her face softened. The exhaustion finally started to drag Ekko down.
“I think I’m just gonna sit here for a minute. You know, catch my breath. See if I can talk an old friend out of blowing us up.” Jinx pauses at that, and Ekko sighs at the brief reprieve. Her eyes land on the toy monkey in her hand, leaving the pin and opting to brush it with her thumb. Hope begins to build in his chest.
“I’m tired of talking.” Jinx goes limp, allowing her body to plummet into the depths.
“No!” Ekko launches himself off the ground, narrowly missing his chance to catch her. Heart thumping, he reaches back and pulls the cord again. Just like that, she is in front of him again. Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why is this so hard?
Ekko’s heart aches from the stress. How was he supposed to stop this? He couldn’t save her all those years ago, how could he save her now? Ekko searches for something, anything he could say to change her mind.
“You know, I learned from someone…very special…” he swallows hard as the face he saw mere hours ago, filled with so much life and love, looks at him with soulless eyes, “...that, no matter what happened in the past, it’s never too late to build something new.”
Jinx’s eyes land on the device in his grasp. The toy monkeys–another shared eccentricity between Jinx and Powder–spin playfully within the glass. Ekko looks at the device, and a resolve builds within him. I’m not saving Powder. I’m saving you.
“Someone worth building it for.” Ekko looks up at the girl in front of him. She looks out in front of her, and Ekko prepares for her to fall forward again. It doesn’t happen. Instead, she lowers herself to sit, legs dangling over the edge. Jinx raises her white flag, placing the grenade beside her and leaning on her knees. Ekko breathes a sigh of relief. I should kick that damn monkey into the void for all the shit it put me through.
Ekko opts for peace, copying Jinx’s position with a good foot of distance between them. She doesn’t look at him. Her pink eyes are glazed over as she looks into the darkness. Ekko takes the moment to take in her appearance. Her cheeks are smudged with black tearstains. She was always pale but now looked sickly so. He knew she had survived their encounter on the bridge. Her poster was plastered on every damn corner of the Undercity, after all. How she survived, though, he wasn’t sure. Ekko saw Jinx at death’s door on that bridge. She couldn’t survive those injuries, or so he thought at the time. Yet, here she is. The color of her eyes told a story Ekko wasn’t sure if he was ready to hear.
“I don’t know if I should,” Jinx murmurs, snapping Ekko from his thoughts. Her voice was labored, like it took effort to squeeze the words from her throat. “I don’t think I’m allowed to build a life with anyone.”
“I know you have done a lot of things, but there are people who-”
“No…” she interrupts him, “...it’s not… what I’ve done, it’s…” her breathing quickens. “...no matter what I do, they all die. Whether I mean to or not, I kill everything. Milo, Claggor, Vander, Is-” Jinx chokes on the last words. Her eyes gloss over, but no tears escape. Her mouth opens and shuts, unable to release anything tangible. What name was she going to say? Ekko decides to question that later.
“You are responsible for many things, Jinx, but our family…” Ekko blinks, the old wound threatening to break open. “...our family isn’t one of them. There are lots of things we can control, and so many others that we can’t.” Ekko scoots closer, watching her for any sign of discomfort. He stops at an arm's length, knowing that neither of them can handle anything more.
“You can’t change the past. But you can choose what you do now. You can choose to be whoever you want to be. Jinx, or… anything.” Jinx exhales shakily, putting her head in her hands. Instinctively, Ekko flinches, as though she’ll snap as she has many times before. Shit, man, not the time. Jinx reaches for her hair and pulls, hands sliding down the strands and ending at her shoulders. She looks up, blinking, as though she forgot it wasn’t long anymore. Jinx twists the hair between her fingers, which Ekko now notices is caked in blood and peeling skin.
“So. New haircut?” He asks dumbly. Ekko internally facepalms at the stupidity of his question. It came out before he even gave it a second thought. This situation was completely out of his comfort zone. At least when they were enemies, there were clear boundaries and expectations. Who knows what they are now?
Jinx peaks up at him, managing the faintest of smiles. “What kinda question is that?” Ekko chuckles, leaning back on his palms.
“It was the first thing I noticed. You’re kinda known for your hair, yinno.” It wasn’t a good association, but Ekko left that part out. Jinx’s smile fades as soon as it comes.
“I don’t know if I’m that person anymore. The person with all the…” Jinx waves her hands in a small exploding gesture, accompanied by a weak attempt at exploding sounds. With her cracked voice, it sounds more like footsteps on gravel.
An idea comes to Ekko, and his first instinct is to ignore it. It’s a stupid idea. He doesn’t want to push anything, especially since he’s still figuring out how he feels about Jinx. The child within him desperately wants his friend back. The angry part of him hates Jinx and the things she’s done. The thought of Silco and Vander in the alternate universe pushes its way to the forefront of his mind. The reconciliation between the two was one of the most unexpected outcomes of that reality. The power of forgiveness.
“Do you like it? Short, I mean,” Ekko asks. Jinx shrugs.
“It was kinda spur of the moment, I don’t know.”
“I could cut it,” he blurts out. Ekko looks away, suddenly feeling nervous. “Yinno, smooth out the edges, or something. Just thinking out loud.”
“You tryna say I look shitty? I could still jump off this propellor,” she deadpans. Ekko whips to her, panic flaring in his chest, just to find a small smirk pulling at the edge of her lips.
“Not funny,” Ekko grumbles. You have no idea how not funny that is for me.
“What? I’m not funny, either? Wow. Ugly and not funny. Really know how to hit a girl where it hurts, dontcha?” Her mock hurt would probably be more funny if she still didn’t look so weak. In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment, a flicker crosses her eyes. He catches a glimpse of the softness he saw on the bridge, a softness he saw so prominently in Powder. Ekko lets out a breath and smiles.
“Sorry, gotta keep it real.” He shrugs in faux nonchalance. Jinx shakes her head, averting her gaze and looking towards her fingers. Her nails clip at the peeling skin as her smile fades.
“I guess, yinno, if it’s that bad, then sure. Cut it.” Ekko glances at her hands, then back to her face.
“I was kidding. It’s really not bad.”
“I know,” she replies. She doesn’t look up. Ekko stares at her, trying to sort out her expression. Did he actually hurt her feelings? Not that she was the type to care deeply what others thought of her appearance. No, it wasn’t that. She’s nervous.
The realization comforts Ekko. It’s not that he wants her to be nervous, but man, he’s been anxious this entire time. The anxiety from watching her die multiple times probably shaved a year off his life. Now, they’re in this confusing, anxiety-inducing moment together. Ekko gets to his feet and walks to her workstation.
“You got scissors?”
—
Jinx sits in her chair, toying with a non-explosive monkey Ekko had placed in her hands not long ago. She wouldn’t stop picking at her nailbeds, and he was pretty sure telling her to stop would do absolutely nothing. Luckily, the monkey seemed like a suitable distraction.
“What do you want it to look like?” He had asked.
“Don’t care. You pick,” she had replied, transfixed on the toy. Ekko wasn’t sure what to make of that, but at least she was fixated on something that wasn’t peeling her skin off. It took Ekko a good fifteen minutes just to work up the courage to touch her. He rifled aimlessly through her materials, as though her bomb parts had anything to do with her haircut, trying to gather the nerve.
“I don’t bite,” she had muttered. He looked up, realizing she was watching him for quite a while.
“You sure?” he had asked, only half joking. Jinx looked up in thought.
“I think so,” she had replied with a shrug, resuming her deconstruction of the toy monkey. Ekko wasn’t comforted, but he couldn’t stall any further. So, he threw caution to the wind and began cutting. It wasn’t his first time cutting hair, but it still took him way longer than it should have. He started slowly, careful to watch her body language for any negative impressions. She did not indicate discomfort, so Ekko continued.
When they were younger, they’d fill every space they entered with noise. Even when they had nothing to say. They would hum simple tunes, tap their feet, and tinker loudly with whatever scraps they could find. It was always comfortable.
This was completely different. Jinx was tinkering with the monkey, but years of experience made her efficient. She didn’t need to jam a screwdriver into every crevice in hopes of finding the right part to pry open. She worked deftly, albeit with no clear goal in mind. Ekko would occasionally pause his cutting, pretending to search for a strand of hair, while he watched her work. Aside from the snip of his scissors and the occasional scratch on metal, their little world was quiet. Even though he had so many things he wanted to talk about, he was scared to break this moment.
It was only once he finished that he finally spoke.
“Alright, I’m done. Do you wanna see?” Ekko pats her head, the same gesture he’d do to a completed invention. The pat of a job well done. He wasn’t confident she would think so, though.
“I’m ready. You better not have given me a mohawk,” she mused.
“Damn, you might not wanna look, then.” Jinx smiles (her heavy, grief-ridden smile) and reaches for the mirror. She holds it up, and her eyes widen. Jinx places the remains of the monkey on the counter and cards her fingers through her short hair. What was once at her shoulders was now much, much shorter. One side was cut nearly to the point of being buzzed, not that he could get that close with scissors. She still had hair on top, though. Jinx was quiet, staring at herself in the mirror. The silence was long enough that Ekko started to stress out.
“I hope you like it. I mean, I asked what you wanted and you told me to do whatever. I kinda figured shorter hair is easier to manage, yinno?” God, why am I sweating so much? “I kept your, uh, front piece thing. I thought you might wanna keep it since you didn’t cut it off in the first place. If you do-”
“I like it,’” she whispers, and Ekko nearly collapses with relief. The last thing he wants is to piss off Jinx. With how she is now, she probably wouldn’t kill him, but still. Jinx brings the mirror to the side of her head, admiring his work. “Have you done this before?”
“Yeah, actually,” he leans on the counter, twisting the scissors in his hands with a newfound confidence. “In the early days, I’d do haircuts for other Firelights. We didn’t have a lot of people back then, and many of them were young. Younger than me. I’ve also got the steadiest hand, so it just made sense.” Ekko smiles at the memory of simpler times.
Jinx wavers, her eyes lowering to the ground. “What about… the girl? The one with the pink hair.” Ekko stiffens, the scissors spinning on his fingers slowing to swing side-to-side.
“You mean Eve?”
“If that’s her name, yeah.” Ekko looks out, feeling the ashes of a distant anger stirring inside. He inhales deeply, trying to control whatever emotions that start to rear their heads at the mention of his deceased friend.
“Yeah, I cut her hair, too.” Jinx nods, bringing up the mirror again and meeting her own gaze. Her face falls.
“She should be alive. Not me.”
“Jinx-”
“Tell me that I’m wrong.” Jinx turns to face him, the mirror dropping onto her lap. “Tell me that this world wouldn’t be better if I wasn’t in it.” The sparks within Ekko ignite.
“You don’t get to do this!” Ekko turns to face her. “You did what you did, there’s no ifs or buts or whatever. They’re dead. You can’t take it back. You dying doesn’t fix all the shit that’s happened!” He bites his lip, fighting back against the ugly words that want to pour from his throat. He wasn’t saying anything he didn’t think was true, but if he kept going, he might. Ekko sighs, leaning on the counter with his head down. They sit in a not-so-blissful silence as Jinx processes his words.
“I don’t know what to do,” she finally breaks the silence. “It was so easy to blame the world for everything I did, but I’m the only one to blame, and I can’t even fix it. I can’t fix anything.” Her voice shakes, and Ekko’s anger fades. They aren’t comparable, but Ekko knows what it feels like to fail someone so irreparably that it seems impossible to recover.
“That’s not totally true.” Ekko picks himself up, stopping in front of her chair, and kneeling until they’re at eye level. “You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. You get to pick what you do next. You can choose to do good things.” And some people will love you regardless. He wants to say it, but he can’t promise that. Not as they are now.
Jinx meets his gaze, searching him with such intensity that his skin itches. She sighs. “You people never know when to give up.”
“Maybe you give up too quickly.” They stare into each other’s eyes for a minute before Jinx stands. Ekko watches as she makes her way to her workstation, pulling out a box filled to the brim with art supplies. “Jinx?”
“There’s a war outside.”
“What?” Jinx places multiple spray cans on the counter before she turns to look at him.
“I don’t know if I can ever do more good things than bad. You think, if I try, I can help?” Her eyes fix on his, and behind the sadness, Ekko finds a desperation. He remembers when they were younger, Powder would beg him to help with her inventions. “If I can get this to work, they’ll see I can be useful,” she’d say. Some things never change.
“Yes, I do.”
Jinx walks closer, stopping inches from his face. Her presence nearly throws him off balance. She grabs his hand, and Ekko swears his heart stops. He has to fight to not screw his eyes shut and look away. In his taken hand, she places a bottle. Hair dye.
“Let’s find out.”